Author's Note: I was suddenly inspired to write this after an Ed, Edd, n Eddy Facebook page shared a link to an article, the headline claiming that the Eds were victims of sexual harassment. Didn't bother reading the article, as it sounded like it'd be more of the Political Correctness jargon trying to name (and shame) everything wrong with shows from the past or something like that. But, that headline did give me the idea for this fic.

I'm completely unsure if anybody wrote up a similar story, so if I did, I apologize. It does sound like a scenario that might've been thought up already. But I'm fairly certain nobody's done this yet…. I think. I skimmed through the list of Edd/Marie stories that're on here and haven't found anything of the sort, so I'm going with it. In any case, this is my first Ed, Edd n Eddy fic, so I hope I did well.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

To Ed Is Human, To Forgive Is Kanker

Eddward, better known as Edd or Double D, felt an apprehension about his destination that was quickly becoming familiar to him, despite usually wanting to be as far away from this place as possible. But despite the run-down filth of his current surroundings that brought forth his usual urge to sanitize himself, he was focused on the main reason for his venture.

It had been some time since the fateful incident involving Eddy's notorious brother. The cul-de-sac was shaken up from it, but some things gradually returned to some sense of normal. However, change seemed to be inevitable… One such change involved the place that Double D was now just entering. If anybody had told him a few months ago that he would be willingly entering the domicile of the Kanker Sisters, he'd laugh them out of the neighborhood.

Then again, if anybody had told him that the Kankers would end up housed in a juvenile penitentiary, he would've considered the possibility. And yet, here he was… Peach Creek Juvenile Correctional Facility. As he looked upon the sign adorned atop the main entrance, he couldn't help releasing a sigh. As much as the trio of… hyperactive sisters bothered him and his fellow Eds, Edd was not one to wish jail time upon them. It wasn't like they were actively trying to murder him or burn his house down or even scam tons of money out of them via elaborate diversions. (Eddy would've had a conniption fit about anybody "stealing his gimmick". Oddly enough, Lee understood that.) Not to mention, the young prodigy realized a lot sooner than most people that plenty of kids did foolish things in their immaturity. It was no reason to condemn the Kankers to waste the remainder of their youth in prison…

Alas, that was the case when Eddy's parents actually caught the Kankers in the act when the rowdy siblings tried to forcibly seduce the Eds yet again. Things were said. Police were called. Sexual assault and harassment charges were filed. Eddy's parents proved to be as stubborn and loudmouthed as their progeny and thus, the Sisters were convicted. Double D didn't like reminiscing about all that, despite the promise of a Kanker-free life as a teenager. Victory, it seemed, didn't taste as sweet as it once promised. He chalked it up to the method of their surprise victory. He just wanted them to back off, not rot in prison. It took a lot for him to become that vengeful toward anyone and, usually, Eddy's greedy schemes had truly angered him more times than the Kankers' antics. Hell, even the overly friendly Ed had upset the young genius a couple of times, such as that incident with Ed's "lucky" piece of moldy cheese….

He put his thoughts behind him for now as a guard guided him to the visitors' room, the usual wall of cubicles, each with a bulletproof barrier and a phone, greeted his eyes with its dreariness. On the other side of the third booth sat his blue-haired former tormentor, Marie. The orange garb that was the standard prison attire enforced his belief that this whole situation was uncalled for, but he would just have to deal for now. This would be his fourth visit.

He still recalled his first visit, where she yelled and screamed and raged about being imprisoned there and how it was "his" fault and about how the Eds "ratted them out". Edd had wanted to cry from all that shouting. He had wanted to run and hide and be glad she was there for a long, long time. But he stayed and let her vent. After all, his reasonable mind calculated, it was only fair that she get to at least speak her mind. Research backed up how unhealthy it was to keep things bottled up…

Even with his logic, Marie's display of rage had kept him from visiting again for two whole weeks. He didn't even want to after letting her vent. But something made him build up enough nerve to make the second trip. As he now walked over to his booth, he fondly remembered the look of surprise on Marie's face when she saw that her next visitor was Double D again. Apparently, he was her only visitor so far…

And so they had talked. Not much. Just a bit about this and that. Marie gave him a brief outlook of the conditions of youth prison life, which he deemed deplorable. In return, Edd had regaled her with a couple of things he noticed with the cul-de-sac, such as Eddy's latest gag of 'The World's Largest Fidget Spinner'. (Which had turned into another failure when it was revealed to be one of those giant wind energy fans that Ed, with his insane strength, somehow tore off.) The conversation had been short, but a lot calmer than his first visit.

Then, a week and a half later, he visited her a third time. It was then that they started to really converse. To Edd, it was good that he could finally piece together the puzzle that was why the Kankers behaved the way they did. Apparently, as was evident by the bathrobes the Kankers had dressed the trio of Eds in when they first met, the sisters had the same mother but three different fathers, all of which were deadbeats that ran off. Marie confirmed Edd's immediate suspicions that their fathers' actions, combined with their mother's jaded attitude afterward, gave the Kankers a warped view of love and boys. A belief that they, as he paraphrased for efficiency, 'must capture their men and make sure they can't disappear'.

Even so, that still left a giant piece missing from Edd's musings. One which he intended on asking today. He sat down and picked up his phone, a smile greeting Marie before he spoke.

"Hello again, Marie. And how are we this fine day?" Edd asked politely. Fortunately for him, today was one of Marie's better days in the joint.

"Eh, it's alright, Oven Mitt. For a prison, anyway…" Marie responded, her face marred by her now-usual disdain toward her imprisonment.

"I see…" Edd said, once again feeling a twinge of guilt over her predicament. Marie chuckled. His expression must've reflected that guilt.

"It's nice that you're worrying about me, Double D… You're still the only one that does." Marie said, sounding like she could use a good pick-me-up. "Well, aside from Lee and May, but that's a given, considering they're my sisters…. and that they're also in here somewhere." Apparently, the Kankers weren't kept in the same cell.

"What about your mom?" Double D asked. "You mean to tell me that she still hasn't returned to visit you three again?"

"She's a hard one, that woman… Nope. I guess she meant what she said when she dropped by after our first day here, that we're 'on our own now'… Bah… She probably didn't want to get all mushy. Being stuck in a broken-down trailer and having terrible luck with money, work, and love will harden some people, I guess… I dunno." Marie answered, her face souring into an expression of annoyance. Edd was pretty sure that Marie was hurt by the sting of what appeared to be parental abandonment, but he understood why she didn't want to fully show it as more than as a vexing bother. He hoped that the Kankers' perceived hardiness and relative independence could see them through this.

"Gee, I'm sorry, Marie…" Edd answered, his guilt intensifying. Again, Marie chuckled.

"I guess I am too. Being in here kinda opened my eyes to some things. Guess we were pretty pushy, huh?" she quipped.

"I'd be lying if I said no, I'm afraid." Double D answered, honest as ever.

"Which reminds me… I'm sorry for yellin' at you when you first visited. I know it wasn't your fault. Who knew the 'rents would start actually paying more attention to things, huh?" Marie said, passively fidgeting with the phone cord.

"Oh, that's quite alright. It's natural to want to unleash your frustrations on someone willing to listen. In fact, I'm glad you did. I'd worry about your mental health otherwise." he admitted, waving off her apology.

"Wait, you're glad I yelled at you? You'd actually worry about little ol' me that much?" Marie asked.

"In this instance, yes and yes. As unlikely as it seems, I do consider you to be… well… a strange sort of acquaintance. In some ways, I wouldn't say 'friend', but on the other hand, we've received worse treatment from others. For instance, Kevin…" Double D explained, shivering as he recalled some of the things the red-capped bully did to the trio whenever he was enraged.

"Good point. Shovel Chin could never resist a chance to beat you guys up back then. But thanks, Double Dreamboat… Really, thank you for listening to me… and visiting… and talking. Heh… Look at you, Mr. Straight-And-Narrow… Taking time out of all your school learning and science work to visit a lowly prison bitch…"

"Cease your self-depreciation, Marie! You are many things, but I never once considered you a bitch. An annoyance, yes, but you're just as human as the rest of us. I will also have you know that I have never once considered prison to be your ultimate fate." Double D adamantly stated. He didn't know for sure why he instantly disliked the idea of Marie talking down about herself so much. The first reason his mind came up with was that it might have something to do with his general politeness. He certainly didn't think of the bluenette as anything more than an acquaintance/friend, right? He couldn't. Nope. Most definitely not.

"You and your big words… That's one reason why I chose you, Double D. You're smart. Sure, you're a little… uh… meek? But you'd at least know what to do. I mean, look at the tons of crazy stuff you came up with for Shortstuff's scams, man! And you had to totally McGuyver all that crap! I find that amazing…" Marie said, her familiar smirk coming back. Edd felt like he hadn't seen that smirk in ages. He was confounded as to why it seemed like he genuinely missed her smirk…

"Why, thank you, Marie. That's really nice of you to say." Edd said, smiling back at her. Then, he realized something. "Wait… McGuyver? Isn't that reference a bit outdated?"

"Blame our economy-class cable. All we get is 4 stations of old syndicated TV shows and one news channel. Oh, and that one channel that only shows Fish Bowl 2…" Marie retorted with a roll of her eyes. Or, from Edd's perspective, eye.

"Like they couldn't afford something a bit more relevant in this show…" Double D muttered, seemingly to himself.

Marie giggled. "I like it when you're weird, Oven Mitt."

"Well, we all seem to be more than a little abnormal, Marie. Listen to the guy three booths down to our right…"

And so they did. What came to their ears was a loud one-sided conversation, led by someone very familiar to the two of them…

"You what, Plank?... They put you in jail for that? Hahaha, you're a funny guy, Plank! So when're ya getting out? … Aw, man, that'll be forever. Was it worth it? ….. Haha, you're crazy!"

Double D turned his attention away from the abrasive voice of Jonny 2x4 and back to the much more interesting bluenette. "I rest my case. How an inanimate object could end up being the prisoner instead of his owner is beyond me."

Marie genuinely laughed at the situation. "You're totally right! Well, I feel better. Thanks, Edd!" she said between laughs, using his real name for the first time. Edd suddenly began to feel like this wasn't so much a prison visit as it was two people getting to know each other better and cracking jokes for fun.

"Anytime, Marie. So, uh… Any other reasons why you chose me…?" Edd timidly asked before nerves stopped him, figuring now would be a good moment to see why she chose him when there was plenty of other, better, less-fragile people out there.

"Well, seeing as all our dads were douchenozzles, I kinda figured out that maybe that's not the kind of dude I should go after. Maybe someone nicer, someone that wouldn't toss me aside like I was just a passing fancy… Someone dependable that would treat me to cool things here and there. Someone I know wouldn't lay a hand on me if I didn't want them to. Hey, we live in a scummy trailer park so I was bound to see some things the neighbors do to each other… Be thankful our dads just ran away like cowards instead of…." Marie trailed off, leaving Edd to easily figure out what she meant.

"I… see. I guess I'm flattered. Your logic is fairly sound, given the situations of your undesirable childhood. Growing up quickly is almost always a tragic thing. Personally, I wish all three of your sisters had your logic, however. I'm not so sure Eddy is the best choice for Lee, if you ask me…" Edd remarked, knowing Eddy's penchant for cons and easy money. Even with the incident with Eddy's brother, Edd was sure that the shortest of the trio wouldn't fully crack his money addiction so quickly. Some things take time.

"I hear ya. But I know Lee. If anything, they'd butt heads so much that Eddy wouldn't have time to rip off the cul-de-sac. I like to think that whatever time they don't spend butting heads, they spend butting lips." Marie joked, cracking herself up with giggles.

Edd gave her a little smirk, his mind picturing the tall redhead and the short con-artist arguing from place to place to place to place. It was quite plausible a scenario. Sure, it didn't seem like the healthiest of relationships, but the young prodigy hoped that the two would balance each other out, if Eddy were to give Lee an actual chance. Edd always tried to be the optimist.

"I'm sure the cul-de-sac is hoping for that." Edd snickered, causing Marie to snort with laughter.

"I can hear it now. 'Oh, thank you, Lee Kanker, for ridding that jerky Eddy of his scamming ways! Our wallets praise you!' Yeah, that'd be fun!" Marie said, laughing away. Edd actually felt good from hearing her laughter, which was new since it used to always bring him nothing but fear and dread.

"Yes, indeed. Although, it'd be pretty ironic too, considering that you three weren't exactly the most innocent. Remember the time Ed accidentally stole your… I believe you phrased it as 'Ship Inna Bottle'?" Edd pointed out, chuckling. Marie's snorting laughter continued.

"Ya mean the time we ended up flattening the entire neighborhood in search of our family heirloom? Oh jeez, yeah, I remember. The city really paid for that repair bill. For a hot minute, the news deemed us as a 'renegade militia gone mad', as they somehow couldn't figure out who did it. Odd how the other kids didn't rat us out… Not our proudest moment, but still… fun times!" Marie laughed so hard, she fell off her chair. Fortunately, the phone cord was long enough to handle that.

"Not as lacking in pride as that time we came across this strange boomerang that altered the personalities of he or she who held it. Now that was quite awkward. Eddy thought he was a mother, dress and all." Edd recalled.

Marie went silent as she got back on her chair, looking like she was holding her mouth shut with a hand in front of a manic grin. Then she burst out laughing again. "Eddy? A mommy?! Ya gotta be yankin' me! That's rich! Hey, what'd it make you into?" she asked between snorts of laughter.

Edd blushed in embarrassment. "Oh, I'm too embarrassed… According to Eddy, I was…. I was… Oh, jeez…!"

Marie was calming down, but looking expectantly at him. Edd knew she wouldn't take no for an answer. He also figured that, by revealing such a humiliating moment, it would help her budding trust in him grow even more. After all, who would reveal such low moments to someone considered an enemy?

"I acted in the mannerisms of what they call… a nudist hippie…" he muttered into the phone. He then began to somewhat understand why Eddy hated clip shows, although he himself wouldn't ever fully detest reminiscing on past interesting moments.

"N… nudist hippie…?" Marie repeated, the eye that Edd could see widening in what he guessed was increased interest. Figures she'd like that idea. She calmly chuckled, which surprised Edd as he was expecting more of her loud, raucous laughter. "My, didn't know you had a wild child in ya. Maybe sometime down the line, I can see if I can bring that outta ya again." she mused in an inviting tone.

Normally, Edd would have vehemently refused such an obvious invitation. But something held his tongue from speaking such a denial.

"Maybe, Marie." he answered with a smile. "Maybe. First thing is to get you out of there, of course."

"Wow… It's not a no? I must be getting through to you." Marie smirked that devious smirk of hers.

"We shall cross that bridge when we get to it. But onto more important matters, I've been thinking…" he said, wanting to stick to the topic at hand.

"Of a way to dig me out?" Marie jokingly asked, chuckling as she watched him fluster about in response to her question.

"Wha? No, of course not. I mean, not illegally… I mean… ahem… I've been thinking of asking Mother and Father if they can do anything to help ease your sentence. They are pretty well-to-do and know their way around a lot of legal matters. Perhaps if I played the card of the situation being a… a misunderstanding…" Edd rambled on, calculating aloud how he might possibly convince his parents to help get his old annoyance/new friend out.

Marie was genuinely touched by the gesture. After all that time of being a downright clingy harpy to him and he not only visits her to talk and give her some company, but is willing to help give her a second chance. He'd even be willing to bend the truth for her, something she knows would normally bother the strictly honest boy. ('Misunderstanding', her ass. Eddy's parents knew what they saw.) She definitely knew for sure she chose the right boy to go after. Who said nice guys have to finish last? Even if things with his parents didn't work out, she felt grateful that she had someone who was in her corner.

"Thank you, Edd." she said, interrupting his calculations. What gave the 'sock-head' pause was how softly she said it. Looking at her, she had a look that Edd was completely unfamiliar with. It wasn't her devious smirk that promised trouble. It wasn't her horny expression of lust. It wasn't anywhere close to a look of rage that she'd get whenever the Eds foiled any scheme of theirs. No, it was a smile. A full-on genuine smile.

If they had first met under different circumstances and she smiled at him like that, Edd's crush on Nazz would've had some serious competition.

"You're…. quite welcome." Edd finally replied, still taken aback. "I'll see what I can do. Okay?"

"Okay, Oven Mitt. Come back soon, alright…?" she asked, noticing one of the guards giving her a 'wrap it up' gesture. Accursed time limits… "Besides my sisters, it's actually pretty cool to have a friend to talk to… Everybody else in here are either guards or they're in for a lot worse than what I've done…" Marie said, her face souring at the thought of some of the real brats that she was locked up with.

"I will, Marie. Perhaps this weekend?"

"Sounds like a date!" Marie smirked as Edd flinched. "Just kidding, Double D. Sounds like a good time."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Not sure where to go from here, so I guess I'll end it here. If people like this and want me to keep going, I might see if I can think of where to go from here. But anyways, there ya have it. Edd being an often visitor of Prisoner Marie, despite their conflicting past. Not sure how much sense this made, considering I wrote this in a span of 2 days from a sudden burst of inspiration. If this needs any pointers or if this actually turned out pretty good, please feel free to let me know!