A/N: This story was a part of a challenge called Miraculous Big Bang 2k17. My partner salty-french-fry created some amazing art that you can check out on her tumblr or on this story posted on AO3 under the username LNC. Enjoy!
Chapter One:
10:51 PM
Adrien Agreste was having a night.
It was something he heard Alya say once and something Nino later clarified as a clusterfuck of nonsense. At the time it didn't really make sense to him, but now, as Adrien stood on the edge of a church roof clad only in a pair of Ladybug boxers and stared out at the havoc being wreaked across the city, he was starting to get the idea.
Ladybug is going to kill me.
Paris was burning.
The cobbled streets of the arrondissement shone like hot coals beneath the the blazing inferno that was his city. Panicked screams of evacuating citizens and wailing sirens filled the air as the Eiffel Tower sparked like a Roman candle in the distance.
And Adrien, nearly-naked and kwamiless, was helpless to do anything about it.
Maybe this was why his father didn't let him have birthday parties.
Somewhere in the chaos he had lost Chloe and the others. Taking the akuma's distraction as an opportunity to slip away, Juleka's quiet hey was drowned out by another explosion and the subsequent stampede of fleeing bodies ensured they couldn't follow.
Adrien cut through the unaffected alleyways, grateful again for the tennis shoes Max had swiped for him earlier in the evening. Although it was literally the least they could do after getting him into this mess in the first place.
At least they helped me get away from the girls.
He scowled down at his cuffed wrists. Not soon enough.
When all this was over he and Nino were going to have a long talk about what it meant to be a good bro.
But first he needed to make it home and grab Plagg so he could make everything right again.
Or at least that was his plan.
He really hadn't counted on running into Sabrina, Mylene, and Rose.
The three were huddled together in the park and Adrien skid to a halt as he saw them hunched together over their goddamn list. It was disturbing how even the city's burgeoning destruction couldn't distract them from their ridiculous game.
Adrien wondered if he could slip past them undetected when Rose cried out and he took off running again.
He was getting really tired of this.
Mylene's shout of get back here, Agreste! was followed by a chorus of giggles that Adrien swore would follow him into his nightmares.
He ran towards the nearest crowd, hoping to lose them the same way he lost the others when he was suddenly grabbed from behind. He yelped as he lurched forward, only to realize that he wasn't being pushed so much as hoisted, before scrambling to grasp onto whatever had a hold of him.
"Need a lift, handsome boy?"
The arm around his waist gripped him tightly as they swung above the clamoring Parisians below and it was with equal parts relief and mortification that Adrien realized just who it was that had rescued him.
Ladybug set him down on top of a nearby church and he could barely look at her as her arms slid away from his bare waist.
She laughed. "Rough night?"
"You have no idea."
"I don't know," She sang. Adrien met her dancing eyes with confusion. "I bet I can guess."
A few streets down, another explosion shook the streets.
"Adrien Agreste! I've got a story you'll be dying to read."
She rolled her shoulders and sighed.
"A hero's work is never done." She grabbed the yoyo at her hip and caught his eye. "You gonna be okay?"
Adrien nodded dumbly.
"Good," Her eyes looked him up and down slowly as her lips fought a smirk. Not for the first time that night Adrien's face burned red.
Ladybug bit her lip. "Nice spots."
Honestly, he could scream.
I am going to kill Nino.
Fourteen Hours Earlier...
Something was happening at Francois-Dupont.
There was a tension in the air that Adrien couldn't entirely attribute to their upcoming exams. A kind of restlessness that settled underneath his skin and hummed through his veins like bees in a hive. A hovering sort of anxiety that pulsed through the hallways and his classmates and filtered through the air like whispers and dust.
It was a feeling Adrien usually associated with akuma, but three days of Constant Vigilance yielded nothing more than frayed nerves, restless legs, and the isolating sense of confusion that accompanied being on the outside of a secret.
It was subtle at first.
Fingers tapping and vacant stares during study hall, nervous fidgeting in the locker room. Startled yelps trailing off into fractured laughter that became silence as the days wore on. It was as if some sort of creeping dread was overtaking his classmates one by one and every corner turned and pencil dropped was a step closer to shattering.
New to the rhythms and waves of public school, he initially overlooked Nino's worried hands as they adjusted and readjusted his baseball cap. He didn't mention the way his friend jumped out of his skin when Adrien touched his shoulder or when he flinched at the bang when someone slammed their locker shut.
Initially he assumed his friend's uneasiness stemmed from their upcoming final exams and offered to help him study. But Nino didn't even look up from where his head was buried in his arms on the desk.
"Sorry Adrien. But I don't think a physics lesson is going to help your boy this time."
There was a smugness in Alya's voice that he didn't understand. Even sweet, shy Marinette, who was usually quick with an explanation or a reassuring smile, was a cipher. Instead, when he met her eyes, there was a predatory gleam that sent a rush of fear through his fingers.
"I don't know, Alya. It might give him a head start."
Nino slouched further down in his seat and pulled his hat over his eyes.
And it only got stranger from there.
Because it wasn't just Nino.
All of his classmates were acting weird in one way or another.
Nathaniel's distress was less obvious at first until Adrien realized that the scritch scratch scratching of his pencil strokes were harsher, deeper, and uncontrolled. Mylene and Sabrina exchanged animated gestures in hushed tones during the break while Max's usually tidy appearance gradually deteriorated as he buried himself further in his frantic calculations.
("...and if you factor in the likelihood that there will be four of them instead of three this year and the probability that…")
Kim was growing more agitated by the day while Alix was practically radiating joy. Not even losing to him in their annual dodgeball grudge match could dampen her spirits.
"What's with the smirk, pipsqueak? My team wiped the floor with you guys."
To emphasize his point Kim shoved another rubber ball at her chest.
Alix caught it and grinned. "Something tells me I'll get you back soon enough."
Kim's answering scowl could have sent akuma running.
Even Chloe was in a good mood, in her own, caustic way. The phrase Marinette Dupain-Cheng only crossed her lips once that week and was accompanied by an almost pleasant move please.
Which, really, was all Adrien could ask at this point.
In fact, the only person who seemed completely unaffected was Ivan who carried on silent and looming and benign as usual.
Adrien, determined to get to the bottom of their strange behavior tracked down his wayward best friend in the locker room.
In retrospect, sneaking up on his already anxious friend in a relatively secluded space had not been his best idea. But how was he supposed to know that Nino's first reaction to a hand on his shoulder would have been to punch him in the face.
"Hyah!"
Adrien's angry "Whrt th her Ninr?!" was muffled behind his hands as he clutched at his now throbbing nose.
"Oh dude, oh man I'm so sorry!"
Adrien's eyes watered.
"Oh god oh man ah okay it's okay," Nino panicked as he fluttered around his friend. "Is it bleeding? Does it feel broken- oh man oh shit oh fuck please tell me I didn't break your nose. Your dad is going to kill me."
Adrien watched through his fingers as Nino crouched down in front of him, holding his hat tight to his head and squeezing his eyes shut as if he could block out the possibility. He wanted to reassure him that his nose didn't feel broken but he was still a little dazed from being punched in the face.
As the sting gradually started to fade, Adrien dropped his hands and scrunched his nose to help restore some feeling.
"I don't think it's broken."
Nino looked up at him from between his fingers. "You sure?"
"Yeah," Adrien tried to smile but it came out more of a grimace. "Do you want to tell me what the hell that was about?"
Nino sighed and took Adrien's offered hand, pulling himself off the ground with as much dignity as his current nervous breakdown could allow.
"Ugh I'm sorry. It's just Alix's birthday is coming up and I'm a little on edge."
Adrien frowned at his friend and gently pressed his hopefully-not-so-broken nose. "A little?"
"Yeah well you would be too if you've been what I've been through the last few years."
"It's just a birthday party, Nino. What's the big deal?"
Nino looked like he was going to answer when Rose and Juleka walked by. The goth girl gestured towards the dj and whispered something in her girlfriend's ear. Rose's tinkling laughter filled the halls.
His mouth clicked shut. If possible the poor boy seemed to shrink even further into himself.
"Sorry man, I've got to go."
The next few days proved just as frustrating. His classmates were unusually tight lipped on the subject and Adrien never felt more like an outsider. He hoped that it might just be his status as the new kid, but Alya's gleeful squeals told him otherwise. She was definitely in on the secret.
"Maybe it's cause you're so uptight."
"Not now, Plagg." Adrien said, scowling into his pillow. "And I'm not uptight."
His kwami didn't dignify him with a response.
And so went the week. It wasn't until the day of their last exams that he finally got an answer.
Alix Kubdel entered Mme. Bustier's classroom with all the pomp and circumstance of a queen and a feral grin to rival Chat Noir's. In her hands she held a stack of multi-colored envelopes that had all of his classmates sitting at attention.
"It's time." She said, the gravity in her tone belying the manic grin she was fighting. She met Adrien's questioning look and winked.
Confused and suddenly nervous he glanced over at his best friend who was slumped low on their shared bench.
"Really Kubdel. You're going to do this now ?"
For all of his bravado Kim couldn't hide the nervous crack in his voice.
Alix ignored him in favor of passing out her envelopes- invitations Adrien realized- as she gleefully skipped past their row to hand two over to Alya and Marinette. He turned around to get a better look and saw that each one was in a different color and had their names scrawled on the front.
Alya's smile deflated. "Shoot, girl."
Marinette placed an arm over her friend's shoulder. "It's okay Alya. We're going to have a blast no matter what."
"Ugh you have got to be kidding me."
Adrien whirled around to see Chloe storm over to the girls' desk waving a yellow envelope in the air like an accusation. Alya looked down at her own similarly colored invitation and groaned.
"Seriously? "
Marinette glared up at Chloe as she slammed her hands down on the desk and leaned into the Ladyblogger's space.
"You better not fuck this up, Cesaire." She said, pointing one perfectly manicured finger in Alya's direction. "I'm on a two year winning streak and I do not intend to lose."
"Back off, Chloe," Marinette snapped. "You know the only reason you won last year is because you locked me in a supply closet."
"I did no such thing!" But her smirk gave her away. "Besides, Alix said it wasn't against the rules."
Marinette rolled her eyes.
"Anyways, this doesn't concern you." Chloe turned her attention back to Alya who was scowling something fierce at her new… partner? Adrien still wasn't entirely sure what was going on. "You're always running off and doing something stupid for that blog of yours. I don't think you'll be entirely useless."
"Unlike you, you mean," Alya growled, her hands crushing the envelope in her grip.
Chloe waved away her comment and held out her hand instead.
"Truce?"
Alya looked at the offered hand like it was a snake waiting to bite and Adrien was certain she was about to tell Chloe where she could put her offer of peace. He was therefore surprised when he caught Alya's questioning glance at Marinette who nodded her head ever-so-slightly. Begrudgingly she grabbed Chloe's hand.
"Truce."
Chloe's triumphant smirk was redirected from the girls to him. Adrien suddenly felt very much like a gazelle surrounded by lions at the watering hole. Beside him, Nino whimpered.
"Perfect."
Alix distributed the rest of her invitations to the other girls before stopping at Ivan's desk and slipping him the last one.
"Seriously Ivan?"
This time the outburst came from Nino. The large boy merely shrugged before high-fiving Alix.
"Let the games begin."
5:45 PM
Alix Kubdel was beyond stoked.
She knew some people (Jalil) considered it majorly Not Cool™ to be so into their own birthdays but some people (also Jalil) were too busy obsessing over dusty books and the lives of dead people to bother having a life of their own.
Their mom had instilled in her a deep reverence for birthdays from a young age and there was no way that she was going to ditch that tradition now that she was gone.
So as far as Alix was concerned some people (still Jalil) could stuff it.
Lovingly though, because in spite of her "dogged pursuit of immaturity" her brother still set aside time from his precious studies to put together what promised to be Alix's best party yet.
"If you're going to insist on doing this you better do it right," He'd said in his long-suffering way that said there's no way he would let her down.
Sometimes brothers were kind of okay.
Her fingers ran over the large cream-colored envelopes he had sealed with melted candle wax and grinned.
Okay, sometimes brothers were kind of awesome.
Jalil Kubdel was a lot of things, but a slacker wasn't one of them. He had even carved personalized seals into the wax for each team.
Nerd.
"Stop snooping!" He said, smacking her hand away and scowling as he fussed with his masterpieces. "The whole point of me doing this was to make sure you didn't have an advantage."
Alix rolled her eyes but backed away from the table. She glanced impatiently at the pocket watch her father gave her earlier that year.
They're late.
Technically her party was supposed to start at 6:30 but she asked Ivan and Marinette to arrive early in order to strategize. It was the first time in four years that she and Marinette were on the same team and Alix was more than a little pumped. The girl didn't look it but she was devious.
And although Ivan was an unknown entity in the game she had a good feeling about her team.
Not that that really meant anything when it came down to it. Previous years' experience taught her not to underestimate her opponents. She grinned, fingering the short strands of her hair. When Mylene had chopped it off on her twelfth birthday no one ever really expected her to keep it.
Pops was super pissed about that one.
Eh. She liked it better this way. Her life became a lot easier the day she stopped worrying about her hair getting in her way.
There was a frantic knocking on the door. Alix was already rushing to answer when Jalil called out, "I think you're friends are here!"
Alix scowled at her very late, very winded friends.
Well, Marinette was winded. Ivan was still slowly walking up from the street.
"You're late."
"I know, I know! I'm sorry," Marinette said, clutching a canvas shopping bag to her chest. "But I was trying to finish up a project."
"Unless it was for me," Alix said, stepping aside to let them into the house. "I don't care."
"Well…", the black haired girl grinned and shook the bag in her direction. "Technically it's for all of us."
Alix snatched the offered present and ripped out its contents: three black t-shirts accented in neon green spirals along the waist and sleeves. Upon closer inspection she realized the spirals were snakes. In large pink letters the words "GO BIG..." were embroidered on the front and on the back "...OR GO HOME".
"Oh hell yes."
"Do you like them? I didn't have a lot of time to-"
"Shut up. They're awesome."
Alix tossed the largest one over to Ivan before pulling hers over her tank top and resisting the urge to squeal like a goddamn five year old. This is why she loved being teamed up with the artsy people.
Team fucking swag.
"So, uh, how is this going to work?" Ivan asked as he fingered his new t-shirt. "I've never really been on this side of the party before."
"Every year is different so I can't really tell you what to expect," Alix said. "But basically it's like a big scavenger hunt."
"A really intense scavenger hunt." Marinette added.
"And every year you pick a new guy to terrorize?"
"Terrorize is such a strong word."
Ivan smirked. "This year it's Adrien right?"
Alix looked over at Marinette who was suddenly preoccupied with her shoes and nodded. That was probably her only concern about being on her friend's team. Try as she might Marinette just couldn't keep her shit together when pretty boy was around. Alix was just banking on her friend's competitive spirit to overcome that particular hurdle.
"Well," Ivan said thoughtfully. "I don't know much about him but I did overhear something about the guys hiding out at Kim's tonight."
Marinette's head snapped up. Alix met her gleaming eyes with a manic grin of her own.
Oh fuck yes.
She couldn't help it. She cackled and slapped him on the back.
"Ivan, my guy," She leaned in closer. "We're so glad to have you. How's it feel to be a hunter instead of the hunted?"
Ivan smiled.
There was a deadly glimmer in his eyes that delighted her.
They were so going to win.
6:12 PM
"Are we cowards?"
The thought had been rattling around in his brain all week. Ever since he invited the guys to hunker down in his basement for the evening while Alix and the rest of her she-demon horde did god knows what to the city.
It didn't sit well with him. Being a coward. Hiding.
Not that that's what they were doing. Absolutely not. They were just… laying low. Strategizing.
What was it Max had said?
Tactical retreat.
That's what they were doing. They were making a tactical retreat.
Kim's knee bounced up and down and rattled the bottom of the card table.
For some reason it still felt like hiding.
"Guys?"
Nathaniel and Max were fussing with the gaming console Max had slugged over. Or rather, Max was fussing and Nathaniel was standing there helplessly after Max slapped his hands away.
Nino was lying facedown on the old sofa his brother left after leaving for university. His face was buried in the cushions and it was the first time the dude hadn't looked ready to bolt in weeks.
No one answered him.
"I'm serious." He fiddled with the red and white fidget spinner his mom had bought him because in her words he just never stops moving. "Do you think we're being cowards?"
"Yes," Nino said, his voice muffled.
"Lahiffe,"
"We're literally hiding in your mom's basement, Kim."
"We are not hiding." He said, scandalized.
"Oh yeah?" Nino didn't need to turn his head for Kim to know he was giving him a look. "What else would you call it?"
"A tactical retreat," Max said as he finished with the console.
Nino rolled his eyes. "Whatever man. At the end of the day it's the four of us holed up underground while Ivan and the girls run wild over Paris."
"And Adrien," Nathaniel shuddered.
Kim waved him away. "Agreste will be fine. His dad's got that crazy security system."
"Didn't stop that akuma."
"Are you seriously comparing the girls to an akuma?"
Nino made the effort to roll his head towards Kim so he could meet his eyes.
"Okay yeah fair point."
Kim would never admit it but he still had nightmares about the year Chloe and Marinette cornered him at the arcade. It was the first and only time he had seen those two working together and Kim could only give thanks that they couldn't stand each other every other day of the year.
"I can't believe I didn't warn him," Nino sighed. "Some friend I am."
Nathaniel took the controller Max offered before sitting down on the floor in front of the couch. "Do you really think his dad would let him come out tonight if we had?"
"No. Dude wouldn't even let him have a birthday party."
"Then we're fine!" Kim said, trying to shake off the feeling of guilt that had been eating at him since everyone had arrived. "Agreste will be fine. Besides, it's not like there's anything we can do about it now. His house is like the fucking Bastille."
"Actually," Max said thoughtfully. "That's not entirely true."
6:30 PM
Alya Cesaire wasn't a bad person.
She was nice to her sisters (when they weren't being horrors), she stayed out of trouble (if it wasn't entirely necessary), and she didn't steal things (Adrien's phone notwithstanding).
Which is why she was completely and utterly dumbfounded that a good and just universe (which Alya believed it must be) would place her on the same godforsaken team as Chloe "just wait until my father hears about this" Bourgeois.
She must have done something awful in a past life because nothing she'd done in this one could warrant such torture.
"It won't be so bad," Marinette told her as she whipped up what was sure to be some killer shirts for her team.
And maybe she would have believed her if it weren't for her friend's grimace as she said it. Alya groaned and threw herself face first onto Marinette's chaise.
"This is such a buzzkill," She grumbled. "I've been looking forward to this thing all year."
Marinette paused long enough in her sewing to shoot her a sympathetic smile.
"Honestly, being on Chloe's team doesn't mean you won't have fun. Trust me, no one hates her more than me and we managed to wreak a lot of havoc together."
"I know," She said. "I just didn't expect I'd be competing within my own team, you know?"
Alya's phone buzzed in quick succession as several text messages came in at once. Glancing at the sender Alya let out another long-suffering sigh as Chloe's texts blew up their team group chat.
"You have got to be kidding me."
"What is it?"
Alya held out her phone in defeat. She could hear Marinette's laughter even as she tried to swallow it down.
"Oh my," Alya wanted to hit her for the grin she just knew her supposed best friend was sporting. "Well, at least the fabric should be soft."
The fabric was soft.
That was the only saving grace of the godawful shirts Chloe had specially made. Alya fingered the edge of her assuredly expensive black t-shirt. She could have done without the golden rhinestone crown that sat smack center in the middle of her boobs, but what really took the cake was the embossed cursive Team Chloe on the back.
Awful. Past Alya must have been completely and totally awful to be subject to this.
She caught Marinette's smug grin from across Alix's living room and narrowed her eyes.
Just see if I help her the next time she word vomits in front of Adrien.
Turnabout was, after all, fair play.
"Hey! Eyes over here, Cesaire." Chloe said, snapping a perfectly manicured hand in front of her face.
"I'm not a dog, Chloe. If you snap your fingers at me one more time I'm going to break your hand."
"Hey, guys," Juleka said, quietly. "Can we maybe not do this tonight."
They both ignored her.
"There's no fraternizing with the enemy. You and Clumsinette can flirt on your own time. Tonight is for winning."
Not for the first time since Alix handed her her invitation, Alya considered walking out on the competition altogether. And maybe she would have if she thought that doing so wouldn't make Juleka's night a living hell or bring any measure of satisfaction to Chloe.
No. If she was going to be miserable then by god she was going to take this girl down with her.
"Careful Chloe," Alya grinned. "If you keep scowling like that you're going to get wrinkles."
There was some commotion across the room but Alya's father taught her to never turn her back on a wild animal and for all of Chloe's designer clothes and perfect hair, she knew better than most that the girl had claws.
"Guys," Juleka said, trying again. She was gesturing over Alya's shoulder towards the others. "I think they're-"
Chloe rolled her eyes and smirked. "Save your temper for the games. We've got a long night ahead of us and I don't intend to lose because you couldn't keep up."
She made a sweeping gesture with her hand, one that seemed to encompass all of her. Alya saw red and clenched her fist. Party be damned she was going to deck this girl.
Suddenly Alya felt a sharp pain in her left shoulder before her entire arm went numb. She and Chloe let out twin yelps as they both looked aghast at Juleka who had each hand clenched into their shoulders on a pressure point Alya hadn't known even existed.
Juleka smiled and let go, motioning towards the other teams in the room as they gathered around a rather ornate looking fireplace where Alix and her brother stood, waiting.
"I think we're starting."
And they were.
Alix stood next to her brother, grinning, decked out in a green and black shirt she recognized as Marinette's handiwork. Beside her, Jalil Kubdel was stoic as he held what appeared to be three embossed envelopes that Alya assumed were the scavenger hunt lists. She moved forward in the crowd of girls to get a better look and accidentally made eye contact. Jalil pretended not to see her.
Alya rolled her eyes. The guy tried to sacrifice her. The least he could do was smile.
"Ladies and GentleIvans," Alix said gravely. "Welcome to Girls Night Out 2017."
There were a scattering of whoops and cheers and an impressively shrill whistle from Mylene.
"Thank you," She continued, a grin giving away her excitement even as Jalil passed her the envelopes with all the solemnity of a priest. "I hold in my hands this year's list. It was put together by my brother to make sure that no team has an advantage."
Here Jalil gave a slight bow and Alya resisted the urge to snort. This guy.
"As we've got some newbies this year," Here she gestured towards Ivan and Alya, "We'll go over the basics."
"Each team has a list of dares to complete. You must take a picture of each dare being done and everyone must be in the picture or it doesn't count. Each dare is worth a different amount of points depending on how hard it is to complete. The team with the most points at the end of the night wins."
"As always, there's an optional truth list tailored to each group. The answers are revealed at the end of the night before scores are revealed for extra points." Alix's eyes gleamed as she swayed from side to side.
Alya met Marinette's worried gaze and grinned as she remembered the questionnaire their host had passed out last month. She should be worried.
"When it strikes midnight the game is over and everyone must make their way back here." There was a disgruntled murmur from her classmates and Alix rolled her eyes. "I know, I know, but Pops said we can't stay out all night like last time so midnight it is. Captains, you may collect your envelopes."
Alya didn't even bother moving as Chloe marched forward to claim their envelope, pushing Sabrina out of the way in the process.
"Sorry Sabrina, but there's no room for friendship in competition."
Rose and Mylene helped Sabrina up from the floor. The redhead waved them away and dusted herself off with a strained smile.
"I'm okay, guys."
Seriously why does Sabrina put up with her?
Alya didn't have much time to follow that baffling train of thought before Alix hopped down to join Ivan and Marinette. Jalil stepped forward and cleared his throat before pulling out yet another, smaller envelope from his front coat pocket.
Not for the first time Alya marveled. This was the akuma that nearly took her out.
The excited chatter that had erupted died down just as quickly as everyone watched with bated breath as Jalil slowly opened the envelope. There was a tension in the air, an anticipatory silence that seemed electric as it crackled between the now rapt audience. Even Alya, who wasn't entirely sure what they were waiting for, experienced the spine tingling pinpricks she usually only felt when she was chasing down a scoop.
"Every year," Jalil said, somberly. "Every year there is one item, belonging to a classmate, that it is your duty to collect. The team that collects said item will be awarded ten extra points to be added to their total score at the end of the night."
"Get on with it, Jalil." Alix snapped. "We've only got a few hours."
"Honestly Alix, I'm doing this for you . It wouldn't kill you to be more appreciative."
"Thank you." She said through gritted teeth.
Jalil rolled his eyes.
"As I was saying," An unsettlingly devious grin lit his face, making him look more like Alix than he ever had before. Alya felt uneasy for the first time that night. "Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to track down and steal a pair of Adrien Agreste's boxers."
There was a moment - one brief, disbelieving moment- as his words sank in
and then
a loud, piercing shriek.
Alya knew even before she turned around that it was her hopelessly mortified friend.
Alix looked towards Ivan and shook her head.
"We're so fucked."
7:25 PM
It was the day that wouldn't end.
From the moment he handed in his last exam Adrien had been swept away by Natalie for an emergency photo shoot to fill in for a model who had contracted the chicken pox.
Plagg's grumbling but it's summer fell on deaf ears as Adrien was whisked off by a flurry of frantic make-up artists and assistant photographers. It may have been the beginning of summer for the rest of Paris but Gabriel Agreste didn't believe in vacations.
Over the next hour, he was primped and washed and polished and spent the remainder of the afternoon pretending he wasn't as exhausted as he really was.
One day Ladybug and Chat Noir were going to catch up with Hawkmoth and when that day came, he was going to give the man a good punch to the face.
Midnight akuma attacks were few and far between but when they happened Adrien's regimented sleep cycle paid the price. He was just grateful for Ladybug's grumbling, sleep-deprived determination that lead to a relatively quick defeat.
After sharing an exhausted bien joue the two heroes returned to their beds with only a few hours left before their final exam.
And Adrien would have managed the last minute change to his schedule just fine if his father hadn't already planned on him joining him at the Gabriel shareholder's dinner.
Which meant that as soon as the photographer got his last shot Adrien was once again collected by the Gorilla to take him back home with just enough time to wash up and change his clothes before his father trotted him out to play the dutiful son.
Which was why, after finally being released hours later, he barely made it to his couch before collapsing onto it in an exhausted pile.
There was an indignant yelp from Plagg, who had spent the better part of the evening in his front pocket, as a hundred something pounds of teenage superhero crashed down on top of him.
"A little warning would have been nice," The kwami said as he struggled out from beneath his charge.
Adrien grunted and buried his face further in the leather cushions.
Plagg scowled.
"Oh I'm so sorry Plagg, I promise I will never do something so inconsiderate again! Here, let me make it up to you by getting you some fresh camembert."
Adrien grunted again but gestured half-heartedly towards the mini fridge under his desk. Plagg took that as all the permission he needed before disappearing into the appliance to claim his prize.
There was a muffled squeal of delight and Adrien smiled despite his exhaustion.
For an ancient god Plagg had very simple needs.
"I really hate those dinners," He said as he flew out of the fridge with the wheel of camembert hanging precariously from his tiny paws. Plagg placed it gently down on the side table near Adrien's head before ripping into the packaging.
"Ugh, can't you eat that at my desk or something."
He was ignored.
"Seriously, kid. Is your dad a robot or something? It's summer."
Adrien rolled over to face his kwami. "Do I really need to answer that?"
Plagg shrugged. "Well he should at least lighten up a bit. I mean, it's not like you're a bad kid or anything."
He smiled. "Thanks, Plagg."
"I mean, you're practically a grandpa with the way you act. Nothing to worry about there."
"Thanks, Plagg."
The little god grinned. "Face it, kid. Before me you were on the fast track to a geriatric home."
Adrien scowled and somehow found the energy to push himself up. His shoulders ached something fierce and he rubbed at the knot that had formed during the hours of shooting. Modeling may not be as strenuous as fencing or... superheroing, but its lack of movement took a toll.
"All I'm saying is you could benefit from a little fun."
"I have fun," Adrien muttered.
"No. Like fun. Like rebel fun. Walk on the wild side fun." Plagg took a moment to shove another piece of camembert into his mouth. "Unscheduled fun."
"I run around Paris in a leather cat suit," He said, poking the kawmi's now bulging cheek. "How much more rebellious can I possibly get?"
"Ir drn't knrw." Plagg swallowed. "What are those girls doing in your class?"
Adrien frowned. "The girls?"
"Yeah. They're doing something that's got the rest of you all worked up. Anything that causes that much chaos must be fun."
To be honest, he hadn't really thought much about what the girls were up to. Despite Nino's ominous premonitions, the day had been too full and Adrien too exhausted to give the issue much attention.
After Alix's ceremonial invitations were passed out, he finally managed to corner his friend in the library and get some answers.
"A scavenger hunt?"
Nino slumped over his notes and ignored his lunch in favor of burying his head in his arms.
"Every damn year since we were ten."
Adrien took in his friend's despondent state with increasing confusion.
"Well… that doesn't sound too terrible."
"That's because you're new. Trust me, it's the worst night of the year."
"I don't know man. Maybe you just need to chill." He frowned as, once again, Nino's hands went up to fidget with the brim of his hat. "Dude, what is with you and the hat?"
"I wish I fucking knew!" Nino scowled and threw his hands into the air. Suddenly he froze and his eyes widened as if something terrible just occurred to him "Oh god, it's going to be so much worse this year."
"What makes you say that?"
Nino nodded to something over his shoulder.
"Alya."
Adrien turned around to see that Alya and Marinette had entered the library. Marinette was holding her red envelope in one hand and making wide sweeping gestures with the other. Alya laughed at something she said before being reprimanded by the librarian. The two girls shot her an apologetic glance before falling into each other with hushed giggles.
Catching Alya's eye Adrien smiled and waved.
The redhead waved back but Marinette, realizing where her attention had gone, flushed and waved frantically before tripping over a nearby chair.
Adrien resisted the urge to smile wider.
"Oh my god," Nino's distressed groan brought his attention back to the conversation at hand. "With her and Marinette I'll never hear the end of this."
Adrien frowned. "Marinette?"
"Yes."
"Marinette-Marinette?"
"Yeah, dude. She's a terror."
"Marinette Dupain-Cheng?" He said, again.
Because there was no way he and Nino could be talking about the same girl. There was no way that sweet, blushing, clumsy Marinette could strike this much fear into his friend. Unless this was a residual effect of his crush.
Although he had thought that Nino and Alya were starting something...
"You'll see soon enough, man." Nino shook his head and reached for his forgotten sandwich. "Yre brnd tr be their mern tergert."
"Excuse me?"
He swallowed. "They'll be coming after you."
This was news to him.
Adrien glanced back over his shoulder at the girls. They didn't seem very threatening as they poured over their physics textbook. Nino was just exaggerating to get a rise out of him.
Or at least, that's what he thought until he caught Marinette's eye.
A warm, red blush covered her cheeks as she caught him staring, which wasn't anything extraordinary where she was concerned. Adrien had finally come to accept that he made her nervous. What was unusual however and what gave him pause was the calculating gleam in her eyes.
It was a look he'd never seen from her and he would be lying if he said it wasn't a little disconcerting.
But now, hours later when he was no longer confronted by her assessing blue gaze, Nino's foreboding words, or Alix's knowing smirk, Adrien couldn't really bring himself to worry about anything but how he was going to drag himself from his couch to the bed.
Foregoing his usual nightly face routine and hoping that one missed night wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass, Adrien shrugged off his clothes and tossed them in his closet before pulling out a fresh set of boxers and crawling into bed.
Plagg could joke all he wanted about being old and missing out on life. Tonight, the only thing Adrien wanted to do was sleep.
Which was probably why he didn't hear them come in.
Adrien was a light sleeper on his worst days. But even his advanced senses held over from Plagg's transformation couldn't combat his sheer exhaustion.
So it was that when three shadows crept in through his door only forty-five minutes after he turned in, neither their clumsy fumbling nor their low curses roused the unconscious hero.
"Ouch!"
"Nathaniel, I swear to god-"
"Christ does the boy ever not look perfect?"
As they approached the bed, one of the figures reached out and shook the mass of blankets on the bed. There was a disgruntled murmur, a shaking head, and an effort to burrow back down into the covers.
The shaking hand grew rougher.
Adrien jolted awake as he realized he was no longer alone in his room. Without Plagg's night vision all he could make out was a large, indistinct shadow looming over him. Adrien wound up his free arm and swung.
Thwack.
"Oh my god what the hell man!?"
"Shhhh!"
Adrien opened his mouth to yell out for Plagg or the Gorilla when he was suddenly assaulted with several pairs of hands smacking him across the face in what he assumed was a misguided attempt to cover his mouth.
"Mmmpfhh!"
"I think you broke my face!"
"Shut up are you trying to blow our cover?"
There was some shuffling, another quiet fuck before a bright light lit up the room. Adrien had to shield his eyes against the cell phone's flashlight, but as they adjusted he took in the somber faces of Max, Nathaniel, and Kim, the latter of whom was still clutching his jaw.
Agitated, confused, but no longer at risk of calling out for his kwami, Adrien pushed their hands away from his mouth.
"What are you guys doing here?"
Max pushed up his glasses. Nathaniel shifted nervously from one foot to the other. Kim's mouth twisted into some painful approximation of a smile as he hauled the tired model out of bed.
"Come on Agreste. We're busting you out of here."
7:20 PM
"They're certainly in a hurry," Mylene Haprele murmured as she watched the other teams race into the night. Ivan's laugh echoed down the street as he lumbered after Marinette and Alix. She smiled, knowing how excited he had been to be included tonight, only feeling a little guilty at how disappointed he would be when her team destroyed them.
She turned to Rose and Sabrina, the latter of whom was focused on the other direction where Chloe's team had taken off running. Considering they were heading towards the more upscale part of the city, it took little effort to figure out what task they were hoping to tackle first.
Poor Adrien.
Mylene, not for the first time that week, felt bad that no one seemed to have properly warned him about what was going to happen tonight. Although, when she thought about the task Alix's brother had set before them, she was starting to think that maybe Adrien wasn't the one who needed worrying over.
Poor Marinette.
"Eh we'll catch up to them." Rose said, fussing with her pink bandana. "Where do you think we should start?"
None of them had much time to design t-shirts this year but the blonde had thought enough ahead to pick up the fabric in a show of team solidarity. Mylene decided to forego wearing it on her head for the sake of ease and kept it tied around her wrist. Sabrina chose to do the same.
"Well," Sabrina said, looking down at their list of tasks. "I know we said we would go for quantity over the highest points first, but the later the night gets the harder it will be to do some of these. Maybe we should start with Adrien or Nino?"
"Knowing Chloe and Alix they'll probably go after them first."
Rose laughed. "We're kind of at a distinct disadvantage for either."
"Yeah," Sabrina frowned. "We kind of got the short end of the stick on that one."
"Actually," Mylene said, fighting a grin. "Ivan mentioned something this morning that I think we might find useful."
"Oh really? " Her teammates exchanged excited looks and Mylene could see the telltale competitive gleam in their eyes.
She hummed in excitement.
"We're gonna need some supplies."
7:35 PM
Adrien wasn't entirely sure how it happened.
One moment he was comfortably ensconced in his warm sheets and drifting off into what hopefully would have been a dreamless sleep undisturbed by thoughts of akumas or schedules or photographers and the next he was being thrown over his classmate's shoulder and hauled out of his room like a sack of potatoes and not the student/model/superhero he was.
"Wait!" Adrien hissed, struggling against Kim's hold as he proceeded to carry him out into the hall.
He thought of Plagg, exhausted, cheese-induced comatose Plagg, and panicked. Kicking wildly, he tried to free himself from his hulking classmate's grip when he felt a sharp smack on his ass.
Adrien froze in disbelief.
"Did you just spank me?"
"Stop squirming. Don't want me to drop you and ruin the money maker."
No, because that would require a conversation with his father about why his classmates were kidnapping him from his bed in the middle of the night and that conversation would probably end with Adrien being home schooled. Again.
ButPlagg…!
"Can't I at least put on some pants?"
Max shook his head and tapped his calculator wristwatch. "There's no time."
"No time to put on pants?" He hissed.
"The others are waiting and we have no idea when the girls got started. We can't risk the delay. Now shut up." The command was punctuated with another slap and Adrien felt all of the indignity of his situation as he stared down the rapidly receding halls. He caught Nathaniel's sheepish grin and resigned himself to his fate.
It wasn't until they crept through the kitchen and into the back garden through the servant's entrance that Kim finally set him down. Adrien scrambled away from his kidnappers and tried to strike a more dignified pose.
Kim snorted. "Nice boxers, Agreste."
Adrien crossed his arms over his chest. It was summer so he wasn't necessarily cold but as he faced the scrutiny of his classmates he was feeling unaccountably shy.
"Yeah, well someone wouldn't let me put on pants."
"Are those Ladybug boxers?" Nathaniel asked, squinting at him in the dark of the garden.
Adrien could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and scowled. "How did you guys even get in there?"
"Well, actually it was rather simple after I–"
Kim waved Max off. "Unimportant."
Adrien thought his father might disagree.
"Listen, do you want to get caught? We've got to make it back to the safehouse before the girls catch up to us."
"The safehouse?" He asked Nathaniel as they slowly followed Max and Kim towards the back gate.
"Kim's mom's basement."
"Gotcha."
Sneaking out without his superpowers was disappointingly easy and Adrien mourned his lost youth as the boys escaped from the garden. Max quietly latched the gate behind them and the four of them let out a collective sigh of relief.
That wasn't so bad.
It wasn't until they heard the sound of racing footsteps and an all too familiar voice crying out that Adrien felt his first flicker of fear.
"Hide!" Kim hissed before they all dove into the hedges that lined the Agreste estate.
Adrien watched through the leaves as first Chloe then Juleka then Alya raced past them towards the front gates of the manor.
"Do you really think they'll let us in?" Alya asked, skepticism clear.
"Of course they will! Adriekins and I do this all the time."
"Really?"
Adrien's eyebrows rose. Chloe hadn't been over to hang out at his house since they were–
"Well we used to do this all the time."
He smiled at her exasperation. That was the Chloe he knew.
Nathaniel tapped his shoulder and motioned for him to follow as their little crusade crawled along the edge of his father's estate, sandwiched between the iron and hedges before breaking free when they were out of sight of the girls.
They stumbled out of the bushes as drunks stumble in the dark and Adrien knew he would have to come up with some viable explanations for the branch scratches he had sustained during their crawl. Those scratches however were the least of his worries as he realized that they hadn't stumbled onto the street alone.
A young couple stood frozen just a few feet away and stared at the four teens. Both of their eyes went straight to him of course because of course they did when he was the only one who wasn't wearing pants. One of the women squinted at him in the dark and gasped. Adrien's stomach sank.
"Aren't you Adrien Agreste?"
Or rather, that what she had started to say when Adrien panicked and grabbed Nathaniel's coat from his hands, throwing it at the startled couple before taking off down the street.
"You didn't see anything!"
The shocked women turned away from the fleeing model and back to his classmates. Kim exchanged a concerned look with Max and Nathaniel before turning back to the aggrieved couple and shrugging.
"Celebrities, am I right?"
7:57 PM
Anthony Gerard Charpentier was not having a good night.
His latest story following the exploits of yet another American child star sewing their wild oats under the Parisian lights had only garnered minimal praise and lukewarm reception from his boss. The web traffic on his article couldn't even beat the goddamn fluff piece listicles one of the interns created during their lunch break.
It was disgusting. Anthony had spent hours on that assignment only to be bested by a better butt listicle. What was the point of doing the work if he wasn't going to reap any of the results?
And now that the summer months were gearing up Anthony had even less to hope for. As their major celebrities fled for New York or Martinique or Bermuda he was going to be slogging for scraps through the B-list celebrity columns and watching as his already dismal career made its last circles around the drain.
He slammed his head on his desk and rested there. Journalism is dead.
A sharp ping from his inbox let him know that another anonymous tip came in. The staff member with the lowest performing articles of the week was in charge of monitoring the inbox and Anthony resented every little red alert that reminded him of his failure.
Probably another Johnny Depp sighting.
Anthony sighed as he opened up the email.
To: tipline
Subject:
model adrien agreste spotted with group of young boys running down the street near the agreste estate in nothing but his underwear. headed east
Definitely not a Johnny Depp sighting.
Anthony jumped up from his desk and scrambled for his camera bag. He ran past his boss's long suffering receptionist and out into the streets.His heart was pounding, the blood racing through his veins like so much electricity.
The scandal-free sheltered heir to the Gabriel fashion house running around Paris practically naked?
He laughed, the sound carrying out into the night.
Perfect.
8:13 PM
It took the boys four streets to catch up to the panicked model and another three before they convinced him he was running in the wrong direction.
"How the hell did you get so fast? " Nathaniel complained, holding his now-twitching side.
"It's a model thing?"
Adrien followed as Kim lead their group silently through several back alleyways and side streets, taking extra care to steer clear of any major thoroughfares or street lamps. Adrien was grateful that Max had been thoughtful enough to grab Adrien's sneakers when they hauled him out of his room. He really would have struggled if he'd had to run barefoot around the not-so pristine streets of Paris.
He watched as the shops grew scarce and the townhouses more prevalent before realizing that they were nearing the university. Kim turned down the back alleyway of one of the row houses before approaching a weather worn two-story brownstone. There was a guy, probably in his early twenties, lounging on the upper balcony and he gave a half-salute to Kim as they passed beneath him. Adrien thought they were heading towards the back door when Kim suddenly turned to a somewhat hidden staircase that lead down to what must have been the basement.
Max caught Adrien's confused look.
"Madam Le Chien rents out the top floor to university students."
"Don't worry about Michel, he's cool," Kim muttered. He rapped on the back door four times paused and then knocked again twice.
There was silence on the other end. The light in the window flickered once, twice, three times. Kim responded by knocking another tattoo and the door cracked open very, very slightly to reveal half of Nino's face. Adrien grinned and waved at him.
"All clear?"
"We're good."
The door closed again and the sound of a chain sliding echoed through the door before Nino reappeared and hurried them inside. Adrien was barely through the door when his friend slammed it shut and bolted the lock.
With a deep, shoulder sagging sigh it looked like all of his stress fell away when he raised a fist that Adrien met with his own.
"Glad you made it bro."
"Thanks for including me." He paused. "Although a little heads up would have been nice."
Nino finally took in his appearance and let out a snort.
"Nice."
"Kim wouldn't let me put on pants."
"Eh," Nino shrugged and moved past him to reclaim his spot on the couch. "We're not going anywhere tonight so you don't really need them."
"Still," Adrien sighed. "Kim, do you think you can lend me some clothes?"
Kim merely shrugged and pushed Nino's legs off the end of the couch before flopping down onto it himself.
I guess that's a no.
Taking his cue from the others Adrien pulled up a rather beat up looking bean bag from the corner of the room to join Max and Nathaniel who had already resumed their video game.
It wasn't much of a fight.
Max grinned triumphantly as he put the finishing move on Nathaniel's robot. The redhead threw his head back against the sofa in defeat.
"Don't worry about it Nath. You did pretty well this time."
Nathaniel shared a look with Adrien as if to say can you believe this guy? before handing over the controller to him.
Adrien smiled and chose the black cat mecha.
It was nice, he decided, as he and Max started their match. Sure, he had been kidnapped, man-handled, and carried half-naked through the streets of Paris. And sure, if his father ever found out, Adrien could kiss his freedom goodbye. But all of that was overshadowed by the fact that his classmates liked him enough to include him in this night of… whatever it was. That they cared enough to try and protect him (a superhero) from whatever the girls had planned that had them all so spooked.
And so maybe most people wouldn't be excited at the prospect of their first (kind of) sleepover taking place in a basement, hiding, without the comfort of a sleeping bag or a toothbrush or clothes. But his friends wanted him around.
At the end of the day that's all that really mattered.
After the novelty of Ultimate Mecha Strike wore off and Kim's mom brought down the pizzas they ordered, Adrien finally asked the question that had been bothering him for weeks.
"So what's the deal with the girls anyways?"
Kim scowled. "Do you want the long version or the short version?"
"Uh, what's the short version?"
"They're crazy."
"It's dipshit's fault over here," Nino said, kicking Kim in the arm. "He's the one that told Alix that there was no way a party with a bunch of girls could be any fun."
"How the hell was I supposed to know it would launch a five year reign of terror?"
Nathaniel stared at him in disbelief. "It's Alix."
"Yeah whatever. This year we've got the best of them."
Adrien frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Well you're new so you're definitely the main target. Grabbing you and Nino will be enough to ruin their game."
"Why Nino?"
Max laughed. Nino scowled.
"It's not funny."
"It's kind of funny."
"They like taking his hat," Nathaniel explained. "It's like some point of pride with them."
Nino pulled down the hat in question to cover his face.
"Every goddamn year."
Adrien nodded, memories of the last few weeks finally making sense.
"Not this year," Kim said, reaching over to pat Nino's shoulder. "We're just going to hang here and lay low for the night."
"So we're hiding?" Adrien asked.
"We're not hiding!" Kim said, scandalized. "Why does everyone keep saying that? It's a…a… dammit, Max ?"
"Tactical retreat?" The boy supplied helpfully.
"Yes. That. It's a tactical retreat."
Adrien sighed. Ladybug said the same thing when akuma gained an edge in a fight.
They were definitely hiding.
"It's kind of a shame though," Nino muttered through his hat. "Facing off those she-demons might almost be worth it to see Marinette fall to pieces."
"Dude you're so right!" Kim said. "Oh man , it would have been so nice to pay her back for what she and Chloe pulled a few years ago."
"Or what she did to poor Nathaniel last year," Max said. The boy in question's face turned as bright as his hair.
"Ah," He coughed. "Y-yeah. Too bad that's not gonna happen."
Adrien listened in confusion. He'd already learned enough from Nino that Marinette, no matter how difficult it was to believe, was an absolute terror in this game.
"Why would this year be difficult for Marinette?"
There were very few times in Adrien's young life where he had experienced the full force of an awkward silence. Interactions with his father notwithstanding, most of Adrien's social experience was relatively free of the phenomenon. That didn't mean, however, that he couldn't recognize it when it smacked him in the face.
Because really what else was he supposed to call the sudden and complete tension in the room as his previously relaxed friends immediately clammed up, sharing equally horrified and accusatory glances.
"Guys?"
"Ah! Who wants more pizza?" Nino said, jumping off the couch and rushing for the card table where the boxes were laid out.
"You seriously still don't know?" Kim asked, frowning at Adrien in what he could only interpret as disbelief. "God, homeschooling really did a number on you."
"Dude, shut up." Nino hissed.
Nathaniel picked at the rug. "We promised we wouldn't say anything."
"Say what?" Adrien asked.
Max opened his mouth but Nino pointed a half eaten slice of pizza at him and swallowed loudly.
"Don't you dare! Alya will kill me."
"Like that's new." Kim rolled his eyes. "Just say it. He's going to find out eventually."
"Find out what? "
"Marinette has a crush." Nathaniel muttered, not meeting his eyes.
"A… crush?"
Adrien frowned, confused. That was it? Marinette had a crush on someone? He ignored the confusing pang he felt at the thought of his sweet classmate liking one of his friends. Marinette was great. She should have a crush on someone.
Adrien's eyes flickered over to Nathaniel, the Evillustrator incident fresh in his mind, and wondered if he was the recipient of her affections.
Maybe not judging from the look on his face.
"Yeah, a massive, monumental brain-frying crush," Kim said, reaching for another slice of pepperoni from the box a rather despondent looking Nino had carried over. "I can't believe you haven't noticed."
"I, uh, hadn't been paying attention, I guess." Adrien said, rubbing the back of his neck.
Nino snorted despite himself. "I'll say."
"So... who is it?"
For the second time that night the room went still. Adrien looked from Nino to Kim to Max to Nathaniel and then back to Nino. All of them wore the same disbelieving expression.
"What? " He snapped, feeling like an idiot for not being in on what was apparently an open secret.
"It's you, dude." Kim said, shaking his head.
Adrien froze.
Him?
"Me? " He squeaked.
Nino buried his head in his hands and groaned. "I'm so dead."
Adrien opened his mouth to say something, anything, to ask things like how and why and are you sure? but unfortunately Madame Le Chien chose that moment to knock on the door leading up to the first floor of the house.
"Kim! The rest of your friends are here."
Kim sat up, horrified.
"Wait, Mom, don't!"
But it was too late.
At the top of the interior stairs stood Alix and Marinette (Marinette who apparently had a crush on him Marinette!) holding what appeared to be water guns and wearing equally maniacal grins.
"Hello boys."
A/N: poor Adrien