Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK does and "Till I Get Over You" isn't mine either, it belongs to Michelle Branch.
AN2: Just a quick reference to the lyrics. "Chaque fois que tu ton va, je pretend que tu fais bien" is French and it translates to "Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay"
Chapter 1: Til I Get Over You
Every time I feel alone
I can blame it on you
And I do, oh
You've thrown me completely and totally out of your life. I thought that we were the perfect couple- even if we were not the most conventional of all them all. I love you with every part of myself and you've just pushed it aside as if it were nothing. We are broken and quite frankly I have no idea how to pick up my pieces.
The reason I feel so alone is all your fault. Every stab of pain I feel, every longing glance and quiet sobs happen because of you. My heart's broken, so broken that I don't think I'll ever be able to fix it. Maybe deep down inside I don't want to. As if it's my last way of clinging to you.
You got me like a loaded gun
Golden sun and skies so blue
And the sad thing is that you still brighten my world whenever you come waltzing back to me. Whenever you smile, my heart leaps. I may not have experienced as much as you, but you are like a drug to me. Intoxicating yet dangerous. When you come near me with your brown eyes twinkling merrily, I am floating on Cloud 9.
I don't know how to stop this. I'm so deliriously happy when you're here that I can't seem to remind myself of how you've broken my heart. It doesn't seem to matter when you come close to me and whisper promises in my ear. It doesn't matter because you complete me. Scary, isn't it?
We both know that we want it
And we both know you left me no choice
There are days when I know that you love me. I know that you long for me as desperately as I long for you. You wish that we could have forever, that nothing would come between us. But they do and you can't understand why. I am left to handle it, to figure out why it's happened to us.
I know why we can't be together. It's everything that you've done to me. All the hurt and sorrow you've caused is why I have to leave. The way you'll hang on to my every word one minute then coldly shut me out the next. There's nothing else I can do but this. When you left the last time I let you go willingly even if I cried for days afterwards. Letting you go is all I could do.
(Chaque fois que tu ton va)
You just bring me down
(je pretend que tu fais bien)
So I'm counting my tears till I get over you
I'm trying to get over you and move on with my life. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do- I don't even know if I'll succeed. I see you everywhere. Your presence lingers and weakens my resolve to let go. It starts dragging me back down to what once was.
I was barely able to let you go, now I'm holding on to my strength to stay away from you. What happened is in the past and I can't bring it back. What we had was beautiful and I wish every day that we could have it back. But you walk on by and pretend that nothing's happened. What's a witch to do?
Sometimes I watch the world go by
I wonder what it's like
To wake up every single day
Smile on your face
You never tried
Harry has asked me out several times now, did you know? Dear, sweet Harry. He's been so good to me through all of this. He's given me time to grieve over you, but now he's beginning to take me out places, he's showing me a whole world I didn't know could exist. Harry's been amazing and nothing short of loving to me.
The part about him that awes me is that he's actually making our romance public. In fact, he just told my family yesterday at dinner that we're together. He just stood up, clanked his glass and informed everybody at the table that he loves me and we're dating. I sat there stunned, unable to comprehend what just happened. Harry wasn't trying to hide our relationship.
My mum was so happy for me, as were they all. They all hugged him and welcomed him properly into the family as my suitor. He's always been so close to us that it's easy for them to accept him. My mum had tears in her eyes as she kissed him on the cheek and declared that she'd never been so happy for either of us in her entire life.
We both know we can't change it
But we both know we'll just have to face it
(Chaque fois que tu ton va)
You just bring me down
(Je pretend que tu fais bien)
So I'm counting my tears 'til I get over you
They would have done the same thing for you had you been in Harry's place. If you had had the courage to tell everybody about us. But you didn't, and now Harry's in your place. He's incorporating himself into my life. This man has done more for me than you ever did.
Oh yes, you gave me gifts and loved me with all you had. But Harry's gone beyond that. He's made an effort to show our relationship to everybody. He isn't ashamed of what's between us, he's proud! With his messy black hair and sparkling green eyes he's slowly changing my life, and healing my wounds. Harry understands that I'm hurting, and he's trying to help me.
If only I could give you up
But why would I want to let you off this soapbox baby?
We both know that we want it
But we both know you left me no choice
I saw you last week at Order headquarters. Harry was standing beside me, and when you looked up an unreadable expression came over your face before you hurried out of the room. I've tried to decipher what went across your face but it's beyond me. Harry simply drew me into his embrace and held me until I pulled away. He knows everything that conspired between us. I told him when we first got together so that there'd be no misunderstandings between him and I.
Seeing you hurts still. Whenever you're in the room my breath gets caught in my throat and I have to squeeze Harry's hand for reassurance. It's still surreal that he actually loves me. He's been nothing but supportive and I suppose that in time I'll grow to feel for him what he obviously feels for me. I'm still healing from the blinding flash of lightning that you and I shared.
We both know that I'm not over you
I'm not over you
I feel guilty because although I'm with Harry now, I'm still in love with you. I may try to tell myself otherwise but my heart knows. Your presence still makes it flutter and I get weak in the knees. It isn't fair to myself, or you, or Harry. He deserves for me to love him the way I love you, and you deserve to be free of me for good.
Perhaps someday I'll get over you. One day I'll be able to look into Harry's eyes and tell him honestly that I love him more than anything else on this earth. One day I'll let you go and move on with my life for good. But it is not today. And until then, I'll simply let myself be healed by Harry and slowly, ever so slowly, I'll set our love free.