Disclaimer: I would just like to say. that.. I. just. bought. nothing.
Aren't you guys happy for me? J.K. still has Harry, but I still love her.
Hugs and Kisses J.K.
Ron's Conscience
Chapter 1: Inside's Ron's Head
Dear Bob,
Ok, I know you are really a diary but do you have to rub it in? Bob is what I will call you, and you shall be mine, and you are my Bob. Anyway, Ginny gave you to me for what she calls "my early Christmas present". Ha! Gin, I love you dearly but you are a bit. well how can I put this? Brain Challenged. Sorry but Christmas isn't for another five months, three weeks, six days, seven hours, 10 minutes, and 123673 seconds and shut up I know you count too. So, yes, brain challenged, that is what you are and always shall be Gin my dear; don't even try to deny it. But now that I think about it she did snigger after handing it to me. I wonder if she knows something. I wonder if she knows too much. That would really suck. What if she knows that I really like Hermione and I want her to marry me and have tons of kids and live happily ever after? Did that just come out of my mouth? Well not technically since I am writing to you Bob, but still? Did that really-
"Ron! Shut up it did. It got annoying after did the first time!"
"Sorry." Ron said putting his head down in shame, then immediately shot it back up. "Wait, Who's there? Where are you? Show yourself! I just want you to know-"
"That you are some type of lethal weapon. Yea, Yea, I get that a lot. And for your 411 I cannot show myself because I just happen to be inside your head. Sorry I didn't get you anything for your little celebration for meeting your conscience for the first time. You can call me Pete."
"Pete?"
"Yea Pete. It's not my fault all the other consciences took all the good names. Take Cricket for instance." The newly named creepy guy Pete stuck in Ron's head said.
"Sorry 'bout that mate"
"Hey it's ok, not like you can do anything about it. I've been thinking about bringing up a name change at the next UGCOTW meeting."
"UGCOTW?"
"United Great Consciences Of The World."
"Right."
"It's great fun. This week we have a guest star speaking. Pinocchio is comin'."
"Sounds just grand." Ron said meaning it like he believed Malfoys are wonderful people.
"Oh it is! He's speaking about-"
"How to wish upon a star?"
"No, that's what Cricket spoke about last time. No, this week Pinocchio is telling us how to save the trees." Pete said. "So, how's life?"
"Can't complain"
"I see. Any girls in your life?"
"Umm."
"Wait. Don't tell me, it's comin' to me. Hermione?"
"How'd ya know?"
"Lets just say a little Bob told me." "What? Oh! Right."
"You know Ron, you have got to get quicker on the uptake."
"There's hidden meaning behind that statement. I know it."
"You'll figure it out soon enough."
A creak from the staircase was heard and not wanting to be heard Ron quickly told Pete to shut up and shut Bob in a flash. His bedroom door slowly opened to show a curious Hermione on the other side. She and Harry had come over just a week ago to spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys.
"Hey Ron, um. I heard voices and I came up to see what the trouble was. I don't see any so. I . guess I'll go now. " Hermione said confused as to why there was only Ron there.
Tell her to stay! Quick before she leaves.
"Oh! Right! Umm. Hermione why don't you come in? We haven't had much time to talk. Yea, talk." Ron said not knowing why he was taking advice by a psycho conscience.
"Umm. Sure Ron." Hermione said carefully coming into to the pigsty "What do you want to talk about?"
Flowers!
"Flowers?" Ron whispered in shock hoping Hermione didn't hear. She did.
"Flowers?" Hermione said fully believing that Ron should be put in Mungo's.
"Uh. Yea. Flowers. They are pretty this year aren't they?"
"Yea, Ron they are pretty." She said slowly creeping towards the door.
Just like you!
"Just like you!" Ron blurted realizing he had no control over his mouth.
Hermione stopped dead in her tracks. "What did you say?" She asked hoping against hope she heard right. After all it was her dream to marry Ron, have tons of kids, and live happily ever after. Though she highly doubted that Ron shared her view.
"I said just like you."
"Why did you say it?" Hermione said waiting for the answer. It didn't come in the proper way.
"Pete, the guy in my head told me to say it."
"Pete?"
"Yea Pete. It's a bit pathetic. He said its because all the other guys took the good names. He wants to change it."
"Well, tell Pete I said Hi." And with that she walked out of the room shutting the door behind her.
That went well.
"Shut up."
Ron's Conscience
Chapter 1: Inside's Ron's Head
Dear Bob,
Ok, I know you are really a diary but do you have to rub it in? Bob is what I will call you, and you shall be mine, and you are my Bob. Anyway, Ginny gave you to me for what she calls "my early Christmas present". Ha! Gin, I love you dearly but you are a bit. well how can I put this? Brain Challenged. Sorry but Christmas isn't for another five months, three weeks, six days, seven hours, 10 minutes, and 123673 seconds and shut up I know you count too. So, yes, brain challenged, that is what you are and always shall be Gin my dear; don't even try to deny it. But now that I think about it she did snigger after handing it to me. I wonder if she knows something. I wonder if she knows too much. That would really suck. What if she knows that I really like Hermione and I want her to marry me and have tons of kids and live happily ever after? Did that just come out of my mouth? Well not technically since I am writing to you Bob, but still? Did that really-
"Ron! Shut up it did. It got annoying after did the first time!"
"Sorry." Ron said putting his head down in shame, then immediately shot it back up. "Wait, Who's there? Where are you? Show yourself! I just want you to know-"
"That you are some type of lethal weapon. Yea, Yea, I get that a lot. And for your 411 I cannot show myself because I just happen to be inside your head. Sorry I didn't get you anything for your little celebration for meeting your conscience for the first time. You can call me Pete."
"Pete?"
"Yea Pete. It's not my fault all the other consciences took all the good names. Take Cricket for instance." The newly named creepy guy Pete stuck in Ron's head said.
"Sorry 'bout that mate"
"Hey it's ok, not like you can do anything about it. I've been thinking about bringing up a name change at the next UGCOTW meeting."
"UGCOTW?"
"United Great Consciences Of The World."
"Right."
"It's great fun. This week we have a guest star speaking. Pinocchio is comin'."
"Sounds just grand." Ron said meaning it like he believed Malfoys are wonderful people.
"Oh it is! He's speaking about-"
"How to wish upon a star?"
"No, that's what Cricket spoke about last time. No, this week Pinocchio is telling us how to save the trees." Pete said. "So, how's life?"
"Can't complain"
"I see. Any girls in your life?"
"Umm."
"Wait. Don't tell me, it's comin' to me. Hermione?"
"How'd ya know?"
"Lets just say a little Bob told me." "What? Oh! Right."
"You know Ron, you have got to get quicker on the uptake."
"There's hidden meaning behind that statement. I know it."
"You'll figure it out soon enough."
A creak from the staircase was heard and not wanting to be heard Ron quickly told Pete to shut up and shut Bob in a flash. His bedroom door slowly opened to show a curious Hermione on the other side. She and Harry had come over just a week ago to spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys.
"Hey Ron, um. I heard voices and I came up to see what the trouble was. I don't see any so. I . guess I'll go now. " Hermione said confused as to why there was only Ron there.
Tell her to stay! Quick before she leaves.
"Oh! Right! Umm. Hermione why don't you come in? We haven't had much time to talk. Yea, talk." Ron said not knowing why he was taking advice by a psycho conscience.
"Umm. Sure Ron." Hermione said carefully coming into to the pigsty "What do you want to talk about?"
Flowers!
"Flowers?" Ron whispered in shock hoping Hermione didn't hear. She did.
"Flowers?" Hermione said fully believing that Ron should be put in Mungo's.
"Uh. Yea. Flowers. They are pretty this year aren't they?"
"Yea, Ron they are pretty." She said slowly creeping towards the door.
Just like you!
"Just like you!" Ron blurted realizing he had no control over his mouth.
Hermione stopped dead in her tracks. "What did you say?" She asked hoping against hope she heard right. After all it was her dream to marry Ron, have tons of kids, and live happily ever after. Though she highly doubted that Ron shared her view.
"I said just like you."
"Why did you say it?" Hermione said waiting for the answer. It didn't come in the proper way.
"Pete, the guy in my head told me to say it."
"Pete?"
"Yea Pete. It's a bit pathetic. He said its because all the other guys took the good names. He wants to change it."
"Well, tell Pete I said Hi." And with that she walked out of the room shutting the door behind her.
That went well.
"Shut up."