Author's Note: I don't own CSI. I just watch it religiously.
She's in his bed and it's the third time this month that she's gotten too angry and confused and she's given in. It gets easier each time. She just convinces herself that she needs him and it suddenly makes this right.
He's undressing her and it's the third time this month but she doesn't care anymore. It gets easier each time, because he knows what to do and what she likes and she knows he's enjoying himself just as much as she is.
She's digging her fingernails into his back and it's the third time this month and his scrapes from last time still haven't healed. It's easier each time to scrape his skin, because she feels like there's no way she'll ever be important enough to hurt him.
He's pressing her closely against him and it's the third time this month and her heart throbs as he keeps pushing into her. But it's okay, because he knows as well as she does that this pain is the only time she ever feels alive.
She's completely naked under his stare and it's the third time this month and she's still self-conscious about it. He's seen her twice before, and she's seen him. But there's something strangely awful about them that makes everything new and awkward every single time they touch.
He's inside her and it's the third time this month but it still feels the same as it did at first; he still doesn't know what to do about this, she still can't believe herself for pushing him so far, and they still can't make anything perfect.
She's come storming into his house three times this month. She hasn't bothered to knock, and she hasn't spoken a word to him about why she suddenly has to have the only part of him that he'll allow her. She hasn't bothered to be gentle or careful or polite, the way she always imagined a relationship is supposed to be. But as they both reach their limits and slow their movements she realizes that this really isn't much of a relationship at all, so it shouldn't surprise her that the rules are all broken.
He's breathing heavily and she bites her lip to keep her ironic grin away and it's the third time this month that he's given her the gift of not asking why. He doesn't ask, she doesn't tell, and as disastrous as this whole mess has turned out to be, she hopes it never changes.
She knows things can't be this way forever. She knows this isn't what he wants out of life, and it shouldn't be what she settles for, either. But she thinks that maybe this will allow her to survive. Maybe this is enough for now.
Reviews are amazing.