This is completely stupid. I know this. Please read only if you have a bizarre and slightly perverted sense of humor.
I ran through the station, expecting something to jump out at me at any second.
Guess what?
Exacally that happened.
"DIE, YOU CREEPY THING!" I screamed, blasting it to bits with my gun that was welded onto my arm. What looked like a porcupine/turtle/rat/bat/thingy died with a loud gurgle. I shot it a disgusted look, but it didn't notice. It was dead.
I crossed over to a door. Only then did I realize that my buddies in armor were still following me.
"Come on, Samus. We need to secure this base." One of them said.
"I know." I unlocked the door with a giant missile. The leader cringed.
"No more missiles, Samus. Honestly, you use them too much."
I rolled my eyes, but orders were orders. We entered into the room to discover a huge bug thing with a giant eye. It began to shoot at us, but we expertly dodged. Well, except me. it smashed me into the ground and then threw me into a wall.
"Samus! We'll freeze it and then you shoot at it! I give you permission for missiles now! Just KILL IT!" The leader shouted again.
Oh boy. My lucky day. I was going to enjoy this.
So they froze part of it and I blasted it with missiles. It exploded in a burst of bugs, bug guts, and missile remains. The eye tried to crawl away (Yes, crawl) but I disposed of it with another missile.
"Piece of cake." I said happily.
Then a guy came to the balcony above us.
"Hello, troops. I'm your commander. So obey me." He said. "Now we need to secure this space thingy, Colony ARK…station, whatever you want to call it. So you guys have to do it, because I'm your leader and I say so. Also if I get killed it will cost the federation a bazillion dollars to hire another guy to take my place."
I rolled my eyes.
"All right, so you need to go now. Simple as that. Communicators are on, and Samus, no bombs. I'm the commander, so I say what should be done. And I say no bombs. MU HA HA HAA!"
I felt like charging a bomb and flinging it at him just to disobey orders.
"Oh, and one more thing. I put a camera thing on the front of your visors and stuff, so I know where you are and what you're looking at and things like that. So if you need backup I guess I could call some in."
One of the body armor guys raised his hand. "Sir?" He asked.
"Yes?" The commander asked.
"What if we have to go to the bathroom?"
"Then I would greatly enjoy that." He eyed me.
I began prepping a bomb.
"…Oh," The armor guy muttered.
"All right. Now, you guys go and secure this place. I'll be here, being lazy. Away with you. Any objections, lady?"
Instead of the normal thumbs down, I gave him the finger. "Yes." I said, throwing the bomb at his face.
With a giant boom, he was gone.
"Good job, Samus!" one of the body armor guys patted me on the back. "Now we can continue in peace!"
And so we left. I had a feeling this was going to be one terrible adventure.
It was.
Details later, after I finish killing this giant hive of bees.
The end. No chapters after this, because I don't know if there's anything I could use for this. I know this is terrible. It's a joke, ok? No Flames. Thank you.
Hasta la Vista, Readers!
Lordoftheghostking28