I couldn't believe what I was seeing. One minute Cas was there; all awkwardly throwing an insult at Lucifer, and then he exploded. The fury on Sam's face when he did it was almost as haunting. I stared in stunned shock as I noted some of him was on Bobby. I opened my mouth a few times trying to say something, anything, but nothing would come out.

Sam turned towards me... no, not Sam, Lucifer in Sam's body. Bobby shot him and with a turn of his fingers Bobby's neck was broken.

I gave up at that point. I only intended to be here for Sammy if Michael should kill him. I wasn't going to leave him alone. Adam either. I didn't really know Adam, but he was family by blood and I wasn't going to abandon him either.

The shock of Cas being gone still hadn't hit me. I knew I should be feeling something about it, but I didn't. It was just too much to take in. I was going to have to watch my brother die again and there wasn't going to be anything I could do about it. Why does life have to suck so much? Why did all of this crap happen to my family?

God sucks.

So does the devil, but at least he's not hiding on purpose.

Nope, he's right here where I can see him. Getting ready to crush every bone in my body, one by one.

You know the crazy part?

I don't care anymore. I've lost my family. I've lost Castiel. I've left a legacy with Ben and his mom; Lisa. Bobby is gone.

...what's left to live for? To pretend to have a normal life with Lisa?

She had my heart a long time ago, but not any more. It belongs to someone else. Someone that's not around anymore. And it was all my fault again.

I should have just said yes to Michael and had him kill Lucifer when he was still in the other guy. I think his name was Nick or something like that. I never really remember hearing it.

...God, Sammy's going to have to witness beating me to death. How am I going to make that any better?

"I won't leave you," I felt myself say. I knew that was what I wanted to say, but most of the time I could never really say what it was I meant to say. I was actually happy it had come out the way I wanted to. I didn't see any visible change in the way Sam; no, Lucifer was looking at me. But I wasn't saying it to save myself, I was trying to offer Sam what comfort I could before the end.

Lucifer kept hitting me and I could feel my face swelling up with the bruising. I kept repeating my mantra out loud.

"I won't leave you, Sammy," I repeated again.

Then suddenly, he paused in his beating me. The light of the sun reflected off the chrome around the doors of the Impala caught his eye and something shifted. I saw Sam for a moment; wrestling with Lucifer, and I silently cheered him on. I was afraid I would say something and break Sam's concentration.

And then Sam stepped back from me. Hands fairly loose and at his sides. He was nearly vibrating from the concentration of keeping his body under his own control, but it was him. I could tell from the look in his eyes. The way his eyebrows scrunched together. The way his shoulders drooped. It was my Sammy and I smiled at him the best I could through the swelling.

I watched as he looked confused for a moment and then quickly dug in his pockets.

The Rings; from the Horsemen. I had completely forgotten about them until my baby brother pulled them out of his pocket and threw them on the ground. He started chanting and the portal to Lucifer's cage opened up. I saw him hesitate. I saw his fear and worry.

"You can do it. I ... I believe in you... Sammy," I said, trying to sound brave and confident. I didn't feel either of those things. I was lying to him. I believed in him, but I didn't want him to go. I didn't want him to have to sacrifice everything for the world. I didn't want to loose my brother again. And what about Adam? Was I going to have to lose the brother I had never met, except in passing?

Why did I have to lose my whole family like this?

To save the world?

...God sucks.

I took a deep breath and nodded to Sam. He nodded back and prepared to fall into the pit. He spread his arms to the sides and started falling backwards when Adam appeared.

I shook my head. It wasn't supposed to end this way. It was only supposed to be Sam and Lucifer in the pit. Michael and Adam should have been safely elsewhere. That's why Cas...

...God, Castiel ...

That's why he had thrown the Holy Fire on Michael. So that Adam could be spared the rest of this particular fight.

But there he was, and I was powerless to stop him.

Michael seemed pissed off. Seemed he wanted this fight. Even through he claimed he didn't really want it.

I gave a mental shrug, who really knew what angels thought?

Well, except for one. I could usually tell what Castiel was up to, what he was thinking.

Why do I keep thinking about him when I'm about to lose my two little brothers? My brain must be more damaged than I thought. I needed to focus on here and now. To give Sam the last bit of encouragement before he had to fall in the pit and trap Lucifer.

"I believe in you. I won't leave," I said.

Sam nodded and grabbed Adam and the two of them fell into the Cage.

The ground closed up and I was left in the deafening silence.

... Sam was gone.

Bobby was gone.

And Castiel was gone.

Everyone was gone now.. And yet, how was I supposed to go on? I had no family left. I know I promised Sam I would go and see Lisa and Ben, but my heart was far from that idea. That might have been my dream-come-true a long time ago, but that wasn't it now.

The only people I wanted to spend the rest of my life with were all dead.

Gone.

And there wasn't a thing I could do to save any of them.

I was truly alone.

I found myself kneeling over the smoking rings where the portal had been.

I don't know how long I knelt there and watched my blood fall from my face into the ground like macabre tears before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and was met with a sight I hadn't expected to ever see again.

It was Castiel, looking the same as he had the day I met him in his vessel Jimmy. Right after he had pulled me out of Hell. I looked up at him and he smiled.

"Cas?" I asked uncertainly. I was sure my mind had snapped and I was dreaming. There was no way this could have any kind of a happy ending.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel replied, his voice calm, and the smile on his face was serene.

"Did I die?" I asked, unable to believe anyone had been able to come back from that. The way Michael and Lucifer had been throwing their power around I was certain I'd never see any of the people that meant anything to me unless I was dead. "I bled out, didn't I?"

"No."

"Then, what's going on?" I asked, I struggled to kneel but my body protested my every move.

"Many things are, but first," Castiel touched my forehead with the first two fingers of his right and, and the pain stopped. So abruptly that I was nearly gasping with the feeling. I looked up at him as he held a hand out to me. I took his offered hand and he helped me back onto my feet.

"We have much to do," Cas said quietly.

"What about Bobby?" I asked, unwilling to look at where his lifeless body lay.

"I've already taken care of it," Cas replied.

I turned to see Bobby picking himself up off the ground. His eyes were wide and he laid an unconscious hand on his neck, rubbing it like he wasn't convinced it wasn't broken.

"Bobby," I asked, not really believing it myself.

"Get over here, boy," he demanded. I couldn't help but walk the three steps over and give him a hug before it got awkward. We stepped away from each other and looked away from each other, feeling slightly embarrassed despite the shortness of the hug.

"So, Cas, are you an Archangel now?" I asked, feeling nervous for some reason.

"I think so," Castiel replied as he looked at me. "But you are still my Charge."

"Now I've got an Arch Angel for a guardian?" I asked.

"The rules never changed, only the power I hold I think God brought me back because I need to take care of things. Because I'm the most like ... you. The angels have lost touch with the humans they were meant to guide. Like Zachariah. He lost faith. I nearly lost faith myself, but you gave it back to me," Castiel smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Um, not for nothing but... now what?" Bobby asked.

"You'll go back to what you're meant to do. Hunt creatures of evil and teach new Hunters how to take care of themselves.," Castiel relied. "I still have business with Dean, but I'll send you on your way." He touched two fingers to Bobby's forehead and he disappeared.

"Where'd you send him, Cass?" I asked.

"Home. His home. With his truck," Castiel replied. "You and I have much to talk about. I will have to return to heaven. At least for a while. Raphael is pissed off at me," he gave a small smile at this. "I would like you to ... meet up with Lisa. Ben is your son, despite what she may say to the contrary. You should know your child. Better than your father knew Adam. But ..."

"But what Cass?" I asked. I could see there was more he wanted to say. More that he had in mind but wasn't sure how to say it.

"When I'm done. When I've straightened things out, I want to spend the rest of your life with you."

"The rest of my life?" I asked.

"Well, you're going to die one day. Of old age if I have any say in it. You're my Charge after all. I looked into it. When we were apart from each other. We're bound to each other. Soul mates," Castiel said after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"You want... to be with ... me?" I asked, stunned by the admission form the angel in front of me.

"Yes. Is that not what I just said?" Castiel gave me a confused look as he tilted his head at me and frowned slightly.

"That's what you said. I'm just makin' sure I heard you right," I replied. I thought about it for a moment. I might never get my brother back, and I didn't want to be a dad to Ben the way my dad had been for Adam. Lisa and I knew it wasn't going to work out between us. Not in the long run. But Ben needed a dad. His dad, and I could visit them and keep them away from the life of a Hunter. "Yes."

"Yes?" Castiel asked, still seeming confused.

"Yes. I'll be a dad to Ben, and hang with him and Lisa until you get back. And then I guess you and I will hunt evil?" I asked.

"Yes. Angel's have taken too much of a backseat in the business of helping humanity. It's time we did more to help out. People have lost their faith. We need to give it back to them," Castiel replied. He stood tall and proud, the look of righteousness was back in his eyes and I knew I'd gotten him back.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked.

"Yes. I love you, Dean. I have since I first started watching over you. That's why I volunteered to pull you from Perdition. It's why I rebelled for you. And why I was so angry when you seemed to give up on everything we had fought for," Castiel replied as he pulled me close.

"Well, I'm just makin' sure, 'cause I'm not gonna say it all the time," I replied.

"I would not expect that of you. It's not in your nature," Castiel replied with a smirk as he pulled me inn and kissed me hard. Our first kiss, and it was something else. It would be tough without him, but I'd make it. He'd always find a way to come back to me. And I'd always fight to stay alive for him.

Always.