A/N: THIS VERSION HAS BEEN EDITED SO I DON'T GET BANHAMMERED OVER FF'S B.S. 'ADULT' POLICIES. FULL VERSION WILL BE POSTED ON ANOTHER COMMUNITY WHEN I FIND ONE WORTH ARCHIVING IN!
-picimadar
Act On Your Emotions
He looked out of the corner of his eye, seeing the pure white porcelain container upheld by an equally pure, pristine, porcelain-skinned arm, before he reached out and took it gently out of her hand. No thank you's were uttered, no offers; the silence pervaded the nearly empty home as though no one living truly inhabited it. The high ceilings trapped the light of the morning sun glamorously, but the young pair did not relish the sunrise, or chose to take in the beauty of the luxurious mansion, the smell of the lush, dense tropical forest nearby, or the lulling lap of the sea on the even nearer beach. They simply sat in silence, the two staring at their empty plates and slowly depleting cups of coffee.
The sudden deep inhalation and the following sigh punctuated the stillness, her chest rising and falling slowly and deliberately as she leaned forward and pressed her cheek into the palm of her hand, staring at the reflection cast in her dinnerware. Sky-blue eyes cast around until they met his before glancing back down quickly.
"They'll be fine, Relena." She didn't look up, a few locks of her long, honey-blonde hair falling slowly to frame her face, obscuring the view Heero had of her pert nose and pale cheeks, her long lashes pressed to her cheekbones.
"I'm not stupid," she whispered quietly, moving her spoon around her empty plate slowly. "We barely made it out alive, there's no way there weren't… casualties." Heero lowered his dark eyes, staring intently at the tablecloth. While inspecting the finely woven white fabric, he watched a tear fall noiselessly onto it, making it transluscent.
"Don't cry…" he said, trying to brush Relena's hair aside so he could see her face. She pushed his hand away angrily.
"Like you even care!" she growled, standing up from the table abruptly, the sudden screech of her chair against the hardwood floor causing the hair on Heero's neck to stand on end.
"You need to relax. You're letting your emotions completely rule you."
Relena barked out a short laugh. "Yes, well, at least I actually allow myself to feel. For all we know, all our friends are dead, and you feel nothing." Her eyes were blazing now, the tracings of her tears drying on her face, her fists balled at her sides. Realizing Heero would proffer no response, Relena sighed exasperatedly before turning and marching out of the room, angry. Heero continued to sit at the overly large dining room table for a time, her words echoing in his mind.
Is that really what she believes? Heero shook his head. It had been years since he had learned that vital life lesson: to always act on his emotions. Have I already forgotten? Standing up from the table, he gathered the dishes quietly before putting them in the large, stainless steel sink. He pondered as he washed, wondering where Relena had gone to hide in the generously proportioned estate. Deciding on his destination, Heero dried his hands and walked out into the dining room, past the table, enormous bay windows filled with bright morning light, toward the grand staircase, winding along the far wall near the entryway. Sighing with his first step up the red-carpeted stairs, Heero brushed his dark hair back off his face tiredly. The past twenty-four hours had been some of the longest of his life, and the fact that Relena so pointedly exposed his emotional vault hadn't helped matters. He brought his hand up to his face again, pressing his fingers against one temple, trying to ease the headache he felt throbbing just behind his eyes.
"Are you alright?" Relena asked quietly, startling Heero. His heel slipped off one stair, and he flung a hand out for the rail instinctively. Instead, Relena reached out her hand and grabbed his, pulling from her perch on the topmost stair, helping him regain his balance. He leaned forward finally, his hand still clasped around her warm one carefully, and he released it quickly as his gaze met hers.
"I'm fine," he lied, slowly moving to sit down next to his charge. She moved over quietly, her hands in her lap.
"I'm sorry for what I said, before." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, ashamed, her cheeks still flushed from the feeling of his hand in hers. "I just… God. How will we even know they're okay?" A new tear fell down her pristine cheek slowly, and she sniffled sorrowfully before looking over at him. Heero felt his breath catch in his chest as he looked deep into her bright eyes, shining with tears.
"They know how to find us, Relena. We'll have to wait until they send someone to bring you back to Sanq." She nodded, slowly, tears continuing to brim over.
"Heero… Do you think he'd have lived?" Her eyes were imploring now, seemingly boring into his soul, urging him not to deceive her. I could never lie to you, Relena… Not even to protect you.
"I don't know. He lost a lot of blood, but it's Duo. He's honestly had worse and come away practically looking better than before." He raised an eyebrow at Relena's new expression, a mixture of the same sorrowful eyes mixed with a distinct smile forming on her lips.
"Someone has a little crush," she murmured before patting Heero on the back and standing quickly to walk away, entering the bedroom she had claimed as 'hers' following their unplanned arrival. Heero could do nothing but sit, mouth gaping, before he glowered and followed after her.
Her door was open, and Heero glanced inside the door cautiously before following after her. It always stunned Heero how much Relena managed to pack, even in the duress she had been under when they fled Europe under the cover of night. No matter where she goes, it looks like home, he mused, his eyes perusing the dresser, no doubt full of the young woman's favorite clothing, a stack of books perched on one side, her makeup laid out on the other, the bed made up with sheets that mirrored her cream-coloured set back at the palace. Heero walked further into the room, smirking at the slippers he saw half-tucked under the edge of the large bed. His smile fell, however, once his eyes passed over the nightstand, the old brown teddy bear he had so long ago given Relena sitting there, its button eyes somehow still staring back at him brightly. I can't believe she kept you, Heero thought, reaching out to touch the incredibly soft fur atop the tiny bear's head.
"I guess it'd be too much to assume we have cable," Relena said from her place in the sitting area, her voice speaking musically into his ears from the far end of the massive room, snapping the young man out of his reverie.
"Well, whose name would we put it under? Or even the address? Besides, we're so far out, I don't even know if we could get a satellite signal here." Heero turned away from the bear and joined Relena on the couch.
"That's alright. I always come prepared," she said, smiling cheekily, producing a number of data cards with various movie titles on them. Heero groaned outwardly as she sifted through the sieves, reading out various titles. "Oh well fine then," Relena finally conceded. "Pick something you want to watch. I'm not too picky, I just want something to take my mind off…" Her unfinished sentence hung between them, intensifying the silence. Heero gently took the cards from her and started picking through them before finally settling on something he deemed interesting enough. Standing up, Heero put the data stick into the port on the television and picked up the remote, settling back onto the couch and propping a foot up onto the coffee table.
He felt Relena's eyes on him, but he kept his dark-eyed gaze determinedly forward, feigning interest in the film, the title of which he could no longer seem to remember. He swallowed hard as she tucked her feet up on the far end of the couch and snuggled against him warmly, giving him a smile before resting her head against his bicep. She sighed, comfortable, and before long her breathing had slowed to the point that Heero was sure she was asleep. It wasn't until she was completely, undoubtedly sure that her deep breathing was that of an equally deep slumber before he dared to look at her. Impulsively, he reached out and stroked his free hand along her cheek carefully, savoring the warm, soft sensation, the increase in his heartbeat and desire fogging in his mind.
"I've missed you, too," Relena said, causing Heero to nearly jump off the couch in surprise. He carefully leaned back into the couch, and Relena repositioned her head against him, smiling to herself over his newly rigid posture. "Oh, relax. I meant it. I missed you so much… It's too bad you picked such a rotten time to come back." Her hand found its way into his, her fingers squeezing gently.
"I didn't want to go, you know…" Heero ran his thumb over the soft top of her hand, his other arm wrapping around her as she settled deeper into his half-embrace.
"I know. You weren't the only one who left, either. Only Trowa really stayed, but I think it was just because he didn't have anywhere else to be… honestly, I didn't think you'd ever come back." Relena's voice wavered slightly on her last admission, and Heero felt a pain in his chest.
"I couldn't stay away," he said impulsively. Relena sat up quickly, staring at him, and he immediately regretted his response. She was staring at him blatantly, her mouth slightly open with surprise, before she smiled broadly.
"I'm glad," she whispered coyly, leaning closer to him. He could smell her, now, the familiar blend of whatever floral perfume she favored, her favorite soaps and fabric softeners blending together into a bouquet that was uniquely her own. Just as he reached for her face, both were jarred out of their moment by a distinct ringing coming from his pocked.
"Oh my god, answer it!" Relena practically shouted, nearly reaching for his phone herself.
"We can't," he answered passively, taking his phone out and holding it away from her deliberately, having to stretch his arms out over his head as she climbed over him to try and reach it.
"Are you crazy? What if it's Wufei, or the Commander? We need to know what's happening. Give. Me. That. Phone!" She scrambled up onto the couch, frantically trying to pry the communications device away from him, but to no avail. It all too quickly stopped its chiming and returned to its silent state. "What have you done?" she demanded, stepping away from him.
"I'm under orders. I can't take any calls from anyone. It risks exposing our location."
"I don't care about your orders! You're ridiculous! All you care about is your mission. You don't even care if Duo is alive or not! There are things more important than protecting me! Don't you care about anything of your own?" She was on her feet now, backing away from him, a look somewhere between horror and the utmost rage on her face.
Before she could say another word, Heero was next to her, his hands clasped against her face, pulling her against him, his lips pressing against hers hard as he sought desperately to prove her wrong. Surprising and relieving him, Relena didn't resist, letting herself fall into his grasp, her hands wrapping around his back, pressing him back against her chest with equal fervor. Heero tried to clear his thoughts, but they were blurring together at an incredible rate; the only things he could focus on were the softness of Relena's skin beneath his hands, the touch of her warm hands against him, drawing him closer to her, the taste of her lips and the feeling of her hot breath mingling with his.
Relena pulled away from him after a time, but he left his hands where they were, holding her hair back from her perfect face, gazing hazily into her clear blue eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but he hushed her gently, pressing a finger to her swollen lips before taking her hand and leading her to the delightfully nearby bed. He sat down on the edge and beckoned her closer to him, swallowing hard and hoping that his nervousness was hidden. She climbed into his lap with her usual grace, straddling him and pressing her lips back against his hungrily.
Oh, shit, Heero thought, a million doubts running through his mind. What if she… fuck. Relena, sensing his tense demeanor, stopped kissing him briefly and pressed her forehead against his.
"Heero," she whispered huskily, kissing from his high cheekbone down to the nape of his neck. "There was never anyone else." She stared into his eyes, and Heero awaited her next sentence with a blend of excitement and dread. "I love you," she whispered into his ear, burying her face into his shoulder to avoid his shocked gaze. Seemingly unable to respond with words, Heero instead chose to turn Relena over rapidly, drawing a surprised yelp from her before he buried his face into her neck, littering kisses over her perfect skin before leaning back and pulling his shirt off. Relena followed suit, undoing the buttons on her sleek blouse quickly, but not fast enough for the uncharacteristically impatient young man. He grabbed the two separated pieces of fabric and splayed them out callously, exposing Relena's dark blue lace brassiere, its support beautifully up-playing the gentle slopes of her cleavage. Never see enough of that in your work wear, Heero thought, and Relena fought the urge to laugh at the excited look on his face as he kissed along the line between her breasts, down her smooth abdomen to the edge of the jeans she wore.
Heero stayed there, crouched, for a moment, seeming to commit every curve of her womanly body to memory. It had been years since Heero had truly had occasion to take in the beauty of the young Foreign Minister, and her body had developed wonderfully since then, only adding to his desire to be closer to her. Relena propped herself up on her elbows, shedding her open blouse and tossing it off the bed behind Heero, blushing slightly as he reached behind her to unhook her bra with one deft motion. Exposing more of her porcelain flesh only added to his growing impatience. His hands moved on with dedicated concentration now, removing each frustratingly present article of clothing easily and smoothly, tossing her jeans and her matching panties behind him before pulling off his own jeans and boxers.
He looked up at Relena as he climbed over her, seeing the nervousness in her expression, hating the way she was too afraid, or embarrassed, to look at him. "Come here," he said, putting an arm behind her neck, pressing his body against hers.
Exhausted, Heero pulled away from Relena an eternity later, and collapsed onto his back next to her, breathing hard. Turning his head, he took in the beautiful pose she was in, arms limp above her head, breasts heaving with each breath as she struggled to calm the blood that surged through her veins. She turned toward him slowly and smiled, still relishing in the pleasure their unexpected union had brought to her.
"Did I hurt you?" Heero asked, turning onto his side and sliding a hand back under her head carefully.
She shook her head. "Not any more than you had to. Heero…" Internally, the young man cringed, fearing another proclamation of love that he was secretly too terrified to reciprocate, "could you pull that blanket over here? I'm a little cold now."
Heero nodded, relieved, pulling the light cover over both of them. The two lovers languished there in bed for a time, the sunlight still spilling into the room, playing on the golden highlights in Relena's hair, causing Heero to run his fingers though it as she stared up at him, the smile never leaving her lips.
"I love you," he finally said, and her eyes widened as she took in the words she had longed to hear for what felt like a lifetime.
"Well, hell, I missed you, too, pal!" Duo Maxwell's voice jarred them both back to reality, and Relena shrieked as she pulled the blanket over her prone form.
"How long have you been there!" She demanded, shocked.
"That's the best part, princess," Duo said, grinning devilishly despite his injured arm in its sling. "You'll never know." He turned and walked out of the room, limping slightly, shutting the door behind him. Relena looked back at Heero, horrified, blush stinging her cheeks. For one of the few times in her life, Relena watched Heero smile as he looked out at the door and back to her.
"I love you," he repeated, as though they had never been interrupted, as though he had been there with her all her life. He kissed her again, sweetly now, before looking into her eyes, and knew that it was true: he could never stay away from Relena again.