Her Biggest Regret

A RWBY Fanfiction

Chapter 1: A Loving Mother

I do not own RWBY or any of these characters. This is a complete work of fiction and any text resembling the actions or opinions of Rooster Teeth and subsidiaries is completely coincidence and is not planned at all.

A/N: Every line break is a passage of time. I can understand it being a little confusing so please leave me a review because honestly I'm not sure.

Raven Branwen was known for many things. Cold, Cunning, a Pragmatist, never one to run from a fight. But this is the first time she ever felt like running from anything.

Raven was screaming at the top of her lungs. "Keep pushing! You're almost there!" the doctor reassured. She had never felt this much pain in her life. She was an official Huntress. She's been stabbed, beaten, broken; but none of that could compare to this.

She kept screaming and pushing. She just wanted this to be over. Tai burst into the room, "Raven!"

'Not like this.' she thought. "Get Out!"

Tai stood there for a moment unblinking.

"GET OUT!" Raven screamed.

Tai blinked, "OH! I'm sorry!" He was about to close the door when Qrow ran into the room with Summer pushing Tai back into the room. Embarrassment did even describe how she was feeling. Raven let out a ear shattering scream as she felt her face heat up faster than she could handle. Everyone went to close their ears. The doctor flinched for a moment before he swerved back muttering under his breath.

"IT'S A GIRL!" the doctor yelled. Raven took deep breaths. She laid back on the bed and felt the pain lesson to a mild sting. She felt tears on her face. Raven closed her eyes for a well-deserved nap.

"Did you just almost drop my baby?"

'Tai, what the hell are you talking about?'

"No of course not. I'm a professional, I do not drop babies."

'What?'

"I just saw you. Don't-"

Raven's eyes shot open, "WHAT!?" Everyone stopped clearly scared out of their minds. She saw her team standing next to the doctor. Across from her hospital bed. Raven paused, 'Please no.'

Her legs were still propped up. Her anger turned into desperation as she willed them all to keep eye contact. Summer was the first to break eye contact; her eyes falling to Raven's clearly exposed lady parts. Raven felt the world slow to a crawl as Summer gasped raising a hand to cover her mouth as she instinctively hit Tai's arm which made him break contact and look at where Summer was looking. The sound of Summer hitting made Qrow break eye contact and follows the others. "Oh! What The Fuck!" Qrow covered his eyes.

That's it, Raven had to murder her entire team. Move to a remote part of Remnant and live the rest of her days as a hermit.

Raven groaned, it felt like she was hit by a Giant Nevermore tied to an Airship. She placed a hand on her head. Raven picked her brain with the list of things she had to do. She had to get groceries from the local market in Patch, and get the baby checked before delivery. 'Delivery?' she had almost forgotten about that horrible dream.

"So Ms. Xiao Long, what's the baby's name?" Raven rubbed her temples. She didn't recognize the voice but Tai had grew a habit of faking voices for his stupid pranks.

"Her name is Yang. Yang Xiao Long. How many times do I-" Raven opened her eyes to a strange man in a doctor's cloak. "Huh?" she blinked squinting at the doctor she was supposed to see for the checkup.

"Yang? Tai did you convince Raven to name your first born after you?"

'Summer?'

Her vision began clearing as she yawned. Raven looked around seeing her team crowd around her as she laid in a hospital bed. Tai held her hand and chuckled "It was actually Raven's idea." He caressed her hand smiling at her. The horrible dream was a reality, but if it was with him she would do it all over again. His smile always calmed Raven down. She smiled back at him.

"Here she is." the nurse said. Raven's attention flicked to the nurse. She saw the small blanket covering most of Yang's body. 'Had I made this?'

"Here take her."

'Am I even ready for this?' It was too late to ask because the nurse practically threw Yang on top of Raven.

"Remember to cradle the head, just like we taught you." Raven briefly glanced at the nurse who was gesturing how to do it. Raven shifted copying the nurse and trying to remember the lessons she and Tai went to.

She could see Yang's sleeping face. She had a bit of blonde hair on her head. Raven couldn't believe it. Yang yawned and Raven stiffened. Her little eyes opened blinking a bit before fixating on Raven. Yang giggled at Raven; her tiny hands reaching up to Raven.

"Raven? Are you okay?" Summer said with concern. But Raven couldn't be bothered to do anything but give Yang her complete attention. She felt the tears fall from her face, a warm smile breaking her cold exterior, a feeling she had never experienced before.

Raven leaned in and nuzzled Yang. "I love you, Yang." she whispered as Yang giggled and tiny hands felt her face. This is the happiest day of her life. She's a mother now to the most beautiful girl in the world. There is no way that she'll leave. There's no way that she'll regret this.

Crying. Crying is what woke Raven up from her sleep. "Yang?" she rubbed her eyes and looked over to Tai who was still sleeping. "Tai?" she shook him. He didn't even budge. "Tai." she tried again, this time with more force. He moaned and shifted his body away from Raven. The young woman started to panic. What was she going to do? She didn't know what to do. Yang kept crying and it broke Raven's heart. Yang needed her. She needed Raven. Raven is a mother now, she can do this. Raven got up from the bed and quickly jogged to Yang's room.

She in fact had no idea what Yang wanted. Holding Yang close to her she bounced up and down whispering kind words of affirmation. It had been hours and Raven had done everything she could think of. She changed Yang, fed her, changed her again and now Yang won't let Raven go back to bed. Every time Raven would put Yang down, she'd act up again and Raven would have to spend another hour to calm her down.

"Good morning babe." Raven turned to see Tai at the doorway.

Just who she needed. "Tai, honey, can you please look after Yang. Please." Raven was practically begging Tai as she quickly walked up to him.

But he stepped back and Raven froze. "No can do love I need to go to work." Tai threw his hands up in defense. Raven could hardly believe her ears. Ozpin promised her that Tai would be excused until they were comfortable. Tai promised her that he would be there with her.

"B-but I haven't slept all night. Yang keeps crying unless I hold her." Raven stepped closer to Tai.

"She's asleep Raven. Just put her back in the crib." Raven couldn't believe her ears. This can't be happening.

She stepped closer, "PLEASE, just ta-" Crying. She felt a dark pit in her stomach. She woke Yang up. She internally chastised herself while whispering to Yang calming her down a bit.

Raven felt Tai's arms wrap around her. He kissed the top of her head; and Raven looked up at him. He seemed so big. "I'll be right back."

"Tai-"

"I'll finish this one job and tell him to not call me for work until we are ready." Raven let out a sigh. Tai always knew what to say.

"Please be safe my love." Raven gave Tai a weak smile. Tai turned her around and pressed his lips against hers. She felt loved. They parted and Tai was gone. Raven looked at Yang who yawned and looked at her back. "Oh now you're tired." Raven chuckled as she went back to singing a fable and trying to get Yang to sleep.

Tai was able to leave work for a couple of months. Him and Raven would take turns taking care of Yang's needs. Raven felt a weight lift off her shoulders. They were a family. Just like Tai promised her. Raven was woken up by the morning sunrise. She yawned and stretched; laying back down into Tai's arms she gently caressed Yang. She looked even tinier on the young man's chest. It was too cute not to take a picture.

She rolled over and picked up her scroll. Going back to Tai and Yang she lifted her scroll and took a family selfie. It was perfect, she had to print and laminate it as soon as she was able. She finally rose from her bed, kissing both Yang and Tai. She picked up Yang with a huff and took her to her room. Placing Yang softly in her crib, Raven couldn't help but smile. She watched Yang while she slept. "I love you, Yang." she whispered. Raven pulled herself away from Yang and walked back to her and Tai's bedroom.

Crying; but this time Raven was fully awake and Yang was already in her arms. "Tai! You can't leave!" Raven passed Yang's bedroom into the living room where Tai was getting ready.

"I have to go. Summer needs me." Tai quickly put on his gauntlets.

"I need you! Yang needs you!" Raven retorted.

"You'll be fine. Yang has you." Tai walked over to the kitchen and prepped some food for the travel.

"I can't do this alone." Raven tried calming Yang down but it helped little as she was on edge too.

"Yes. You. Can." Tai looked at Raven. His eyes piercing her invisible defense. "It's been 6 months. I think we're ready." Tai walked to their bedroom and Raven followed.

"What if I'm not ready?" Raven exposed herself. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to be alone. She needed Tai to be there. She was scared to mess up and that fear was palpable. Tai stopped packing cloths and took a deep breath. He looked back at Raven. She looked like the world was falling apart. Yang was crying in her arms. Tai had to choose his words wisely if he was going to calm both of them down.

"Raven." his voice was soft as he drew closer. Raven stared back at him, her expression looked desperate. He kissed her forehead, "Everything is going to be okay." Tai wrapped his arms around Raven and Yang. He made sure Yang wasn't squished between them. "I trust you to take care of Yang while I'm gone. You're a great mom and I think Yang thinks so too." Tai smiled at Yang who calmed down.

Raven searched his eyes for an opening, but there wasn't one. He was leaving and there's nothing she could do about it. Tears feel out of her eyes as she leaned into him, listening to his heartbeat. "I'll be back soon. With me and Summer we'll knock these missions out fast and I can return to help." Tai kissed Raven's head rocking her side to side.

"Okay." Raven caved, "I'll try to be the best mom ever while you're gone."

Tai picked Raven's head up and gave her a firm kiss. He smiled at her and she smiled back. He packed and left; and she watched him go. Standing at the door to their house she slowly slumped to the ground never letting go of Yang. Raven whimpered softly as she rocked back and forth. This was hard and she was scared. All she had to do was wait for Tai and do her best. Yang deserved the best. She smiled at Yang while she hung around the door frame.

Raven woke up to crying. She waited for Tai to get her. She didn't feel the bed move. It's been a week and she hadn't heard from Tai at all. This was the longest she was alone. She didn't like how he was here for a day or two only to leave again on another mission. Raven slowly got up and walked over to Yang's bedroom. Yang was standing in her crib. Usually Raven would be thrilled but this just meant Yang made even more noise than before. Raven stared for a moment. Exhausted. She willed herself to her child and picked Yang up. Yang was getting bigger. She would be a year old in 2 months. She had to start teaching her words and shapes.

She was lost in thought as she went through the motions. Diaper changed, fed and then changed again. She sat in the living room and turned the TV on to VBS. A puppet show was on and the letter of the day was F. Yang sucked her thumb as she lay on Raven's chest. The show was mind numbing. Whoever made it clearly didn't care about the parents. Raven sat there holding Yang in place as she checked her scroll. Nothing. Again. Raven checked on Yang whose eyes were glued to the TV.

She sighed softly as she tried to block out the world.

Raven blinked and rubbed her eyes with her free hand. A TV show about cyberspace was on and she could see math. God she hated math. She checked on Yang again who was fast asleep tucked in on her body. Raven carefully rose up from the couch and walked to Yang's bedroom. She slowly placed Yang into the crib. She seemed so peaceful. She walked over to the chair and picked up Yang's favorite Teddy Bear; it was a normal teddy bear except the big red and white accent bow around its neck. She took the blanket that she placed there and proceeded to make Yang as comfortable as possible.

Going through the motions she got a pillow that had fallen on the floor. She walked back to the crib and watched Yang for a moment. She just stared for a moment not moving. She squeezed the pillow in her hand, 'Use the pillow.' Raven paused trying to process what her mind just pictured in clear detail. She dropped the pillow and staggered back holding her mouth to stifle a scream. She couldn't believe herself. She hit the door frame and slumped down. Tears filled her vision as her hands pulled at her hair. 'What am I doing?' she cried to herself. How could she think of such a thing? Was she going crazy? She prayed for Tai to return. She needed him.

But she couldn't tell him. No. No one can know. No one can know the dark thoughts that plagued her head from time to time. She had to keep this a secret. She
had to bury the fact she was a terrible mother.

Raven whimpered and moaned. She had to remind herself to stay quite just in case Yang woke up. That did stop Tai from banging the bed frame against the wall. Raven pulled Tai into a loving kiss as he finished in her.

Tai pulled away looking down at Raven. She was breathing heavily, her chest raising and falling as she tried to register her surroundings. He had been gone a full two weeks and Raven had coxed him into a bit of fun with drinks. Tai got up leaving Raven in bed twitching a bit as he went to the bathroom. After he was finished Raven was sitting up smiling at him, "I missed you. I missed this."

Tai chuckled, "Me too. Now take a shower, your sweaty." He threw a towel her way and she caught it.

"You know you like it." she laughed and got off the bed. She ran up and pressed herself up against him for a quick kiss.

"Hey I just took a shower." he laughed. Raven turned sticking her tongue out at him. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it smiling. She walked over and turned the shower on; she waited for the shower to heat up to the right temperature. She stepped in the shower and let the water wash over her. 'This is perfect' She wasn't lying when she said she missed him. Yang's birthday was this week and she was worried he would miss it. She fell hard and every day with him and without him reminded her why she married him.

She rotated the silver band on her ring finger. Thinking back to her wedding day. It was the second happiest day of her life. It was a very close second to the day Yang was born. Despite her teammates being insufferable like always. Raven finished her shower, took a towel and walked back into her bedroom where Tai was waiting.

Raven exited the kitchen with a small birthday cake with a '1' on the top. The living room was filled with her friends from Beacon Academy. Even Qrow managed to slack off on his duties long enough to attend his Niece's first birthday. Peter and Oobleck brought their respective wives and children. Glynda was still single for lack of trying. Ozpin even showed up looking awkward as ever.

Her Team cheered as Raven sat the cake down in front of Yang. Yang smiled and clapped. She sat down beside Yang and began singing Happy Birthday. Soon everyone else joined in. "Blow out the candle." Raven whispered to Yang. Yang took a deep breath and blew out the candle in one go. Everyone cheered.

Raven cut the cake and gave everyone and their kids a piece. Raven watched Yang make a huge mess before her attention was whisked away by Tai's loving embrace. "Hey can you two stop being so lovey dovey for two seconds?" Raven pulled back to see Qrow smiling at her. He and Summer walked up to their teammates.

Raven laughed, "Nice to see you too little brother."

"The party is wonderful by the way." Summer said with a bite of her cake."

Raven opened her mouth but was interrupted by Tai, "Thank you Summer. I'm glad you can make it." Raven caught that and looked up at her husband. He shifted his gaze from Summer to Raven and smiled. Raven watched him for a moment as he gave her a confused look. She looked back at Summer. 'She's giving us that look', it was so easy to see through Summer. Her heart was always on her sleeve. Raven had hoped that Summer would give up on her little crush on Tai. They both fell for him and it had been a point of contention in the team dynamic. But in the end Tai chose Raven.

'Summer just needs to move on' Raven glared at Summer which startled her out of her daydream. Raven soften her expression once she had Summer's attention, "We're very glad you came, Summer. I know we had our differences but it means a lot that you're here to celebrate our daughter's first birthday." Tai squeezed Raven; she looked up at him only to find that he was tearing up. 'Dear Gods, he always gets so emotional at these parties.' Raven smiled and shook her head. She nuzzled his chest before looking back at her team. Summer wore a defeated smile as Qrow gagged. "It's been more than two seconds brother." Raven joked.

"You two are going to make me throw up." Qrow teased.

The party continued as expected. Raven cleaned Yang up and opened some of the presents. Now she was playing with her new toys and her new friends. Raven took a mental note to keep in contact with the other moms for play dates. Raven wasn't one for company but it couldn't help to have someone to have some semblance of help with Yang.

She quietly walked over to Tai. She spent every waking moment with Yang; it'd be good to take a breather and relax with her husband. As she walked through the living room towards Tai she could see that he was talking to Summer. Then Raven froze. Summer was giggling and her hand was on Tai's arm. It was slow and deliberate. Summer was flirting with Tai. At Yang's First Birthday.

Raven felt a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes shot up to Qrow who wore a blank expression. He shook his head. 'What was that supposed to mean?!' Raven could barely contain her fury. "Let it go. Tai is not that kind of man." Qrow whispered to Raven. She sucked her teeth and her attention was back on Summer who was still fawning over Tai.

"Hey you two," Qrow yelled over to Tai and Summer. They both jumped and looked at Qrow and Raven. Summer shrunk back from Raven's gaze while Tai started walking towards her.

"Hey babe," Tai said walking in front of Raven's vision of Summer. "You know we haven't spent much time together since the party started." Raven glared at Tai. Tai kept his cool giving her one of his signature 'please don't kill me' looks he was so good at. That goofy smile of his was going to be the death of her.

"That's why I was looking for you." Raven could feel her anger start to fade and her embarrassment started to take its place. She needed Tai. She needed him to love her and not Summer. She was being unreasonably jealous but she couldn't help it.

Tai took her hand and kissed it. Raven blushed and looked down. Her eyes caught Summer staring longingly at Tai. Raven's expression must have changed because Tai blocked her view of Summer. She looked up at him as he smiled at her, "I love you." Raven was taken back, her face flushed with red.

"I love you, too." she whispered.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite hear that." Tai teased bringing Raven close to him. She avoided eye contact, she hates when he does this. Glancing up at him she could see that big goofy smile of his.

She took a deep breath and looked up at him, "I love you, too." Tai pulled her up and gave her a loving kiss. Raven could feel a tug at her pants. Raven broke the kiss to look down at Yang. "What is it my love?" Raven asked not expecting an answer.

"Mmmmmammm" Everyone froze as Yang tried to say mommy.

"When did-" Tai started but was quickly hushed by Raven.

"Yes baby what is it?" Raven continued to be oblivious to Yangs needs. Tai could see this was Yang's first word and pulled out his scroll and started recording.

"Mmmmommmm" Yang continued to tug at Raven. Raven bent over and picked up Yang. She was almost there, Raven just needed to push her a bit more.

"Mommy; you can say it Yang. Mmmommy" Raven repeated the word trying to will the first word out of Yang.

"Mmommy. Mommy!" Yang shouted excitingly. Raven could feel tears come from her eyes. A surge of emotions broke Raven as she started sobbing. Raven's been trying to get Yang to say mommy since her cries turned into some semblance of language.

"Oh My Gods!" Raven looked over to Tai who had his scroll recording her sobbing tears of joy and ruining her make-up. Yang repeated the word trying to get Raven's attention.

"Do you want cake?" Raven asked. Yang paused and nodded her head with her hands in her mouth.

"Give the big girl a cake, mommy." Tai teased still recording the scene as it took place.

Raven rolled her eyes smiling all the while, "Shut up you dork!" Raven began walking to the kitchen but not before making eye contact with Summer. Summer had tears in her eyes. A wish she couldn't wish for; and Raven loved every second of it. She gave Summer a big smile kissing Yang and turning away from her.

This was too much, but oh did she feel so good. This little moment made up for everything that she saw today. Summer's expression was priceless. She was about to have a break down and quickly walked out of the house trying and failing to keep her composure. Sometimes Raven felt like she could be nicer, try to be friends with Summer. But it felt so much better to brag.

Raven lost in her thoughts cut another piece of cake for Yang. Tai's arm wrapped around her as Yang ate the cake with full force. "Happy birthday, Yang;" Raven whispered giving her daughter a kiss.

Author's Notes: This was planned to be more of a one-shot but it ended up being too long for Tumblr. Follow me if you like it and give me your opinions. I know this is probably longer than Raven stayed but I like the idea of her staying and actually wanting to be a good mother before everything happened.

It's a bit sad what Rooster Teeth decided to do with her character. I hope to see more of Raven at some point; a Raven trying to make up for her past mistakes rather than a one off character for Yang to overcome. When she said sorry at the end of Vol 5, it felt genuine. Like there could be more to her than just a bitch with a katana who saved Yang once.

This was honestly a rush of emotions. I was listening to needy by Ariana Grande while writing this; it helps to listen to a specific song while writing.

It was hard to write Raven go through Postpartum Depression. A very real mental illness that affects many first time mothers; especially if they have no to little help.

I don't particularly like writing Tai this way either. He's a very loving father. Anyone can see that. But sometimes things happen; situations and circumstances affect people. Tai isn't away because he wants to but because if he doesn't Summer will be going to dangerous missions alone and that's his teammate. At the time even Raven will mourn for Summer if she was hurt. Please look forward to the next chapter. I'll try to complete this fanfiction as quick as I can so expect updates galore.