Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the mentioned characters...however, I do have a cat...her name is Moonlight... This is the first of many chapters of drabbles, of pairings as suggested by my disturbed students at "Shazzasbeer: The Australian School of Witchcraft & Wizardry" & the mad people at "The 7 HP Books are my 7 Horcruxes, without them I wouldn't have a Life" [Facebook]
To those from there...Ta Da!
~*Harry Potter Pairings: Damned & Disturbed!*~
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Crabbe & Lupin
"Now!" he cried, and Ron leapt forwards, wand outstretched, the Boggart burst from the cupboard and shaped itself in to the largest, hairiest spider Remus Lupin had ever seen! The Weasley boy panicked a moment, then a trembling hand pointed a wand in its direction and the quivering mouth managed a strangled, "Riddikulus!"
Roller-skates reduced the horrifying arachnid to a helpless, exceptionally humorous, entertainment for the entire class; then he moved and one of the Malfoy-boy's lackeys stepped up to have a go…and a large man, not unlike the boy himself, appeared. He began to yell in another language, hands flashing about in obscene gestures…the boy was speechless, so Remus found his instinct screaming to intervene…
Leaping forth with a "Riddikulus!" the man changed into a giant peacock that exploded into a thousand feathers, that, with a flick of his wand, were sucked back into the wardrobe and the doors slammed shut. "Ah, I would say class is over for now…I know most of you have a Potions exam in ten minutes, so I would hurry if I were you." He smiled disarmingly, the students simply began to pack their belongings and leave in an orderly fashion…
Harry, Ron and Hermione bade him goodbye at the door, where he leant against the doorframe for the last of the students –predictably Draco and his two minions, Goyle and Crabbe- to wander past. His hand shot out to grab the latter, earning him a confused glare from the boy in question and a pointed, baleful glare from Malfoy; he stood firm. "Keep going Goyle, Malfoy…or do you want me to take fifty points from Slytherin?" he asked menacingly, pride glowed inside his ribcage as Malfoy glared momentarily and then turned away.
Lupin turned his attention back to the silent boy to his side, "Vincent…is it? Or do you prefer Crabbe?" he asked kindly, steering the boy to a seat; there was no reply. Internally he sighed, but smiled gently and continued, "I noticed your father was doing a lot of yelling there, Crabbe, exactly what was so terrifying or horrible that he had to do so…? What are you afraid of?"
At this, the boy perked up a little and whispered, "He didn't like that…that… I was afraid that he'd react like that if I told him I liked someone at Hogwarts…" the other mumbled, and Lupin felt great relief and a strange puzzlement. "Liking someone else is a natural thing, Vincent…why would your father be angry about that?" he tried to coax the answer out, warning bells clanging in his mind…Crabbe blinked back tears and whispered, "Because they aren't a Slytherin and…and because…they're not a girl…"
Lupin blinked, "Oh, well…surely that doesn't matter, does it? I mean, we live in the 21st Century, your father wouldn't mind all that much, would he? Would you like me to speak with him?" Well, that touched a nerve, Crabbe's eyes went wide and frightened, "No! I mean, I can't tell him! He's…he wouldn't understand, we're a Pureblood Family…he's already arranging for me to marry another Pureblood girl when I graduate…"
"Ah," sudden understanding flaring in his eyes, he sat on the desk next to the boy, placing a comforting arm around him and trying to ignore how pleased he was when the other snuggled closer. "I can see your problem…maybe if Dumbledore and I spoke with him…? No. Alright, well, it might help if I knew who it was you fancy, then I can make a case for you in their favour…is it Potter? Weasley? Goyle…? I mean no offence, but if you say 'Malfoy' I will Obliviate you…for your own safety!" There was weak laughter at the joke, he already had the opening lines of his argument ready; a space existed for the name and attributes of the mysterious 'other' and he had already run through all the suggestions and saw that no matter whose name was placed in his argument, they all fitted.
Vincent took his time to answer, mumbling at first softly until Lupin was forced to sharply tell him to spit it out –as it were-, to which the boy's large, round puppy-dog eyes were fixedly attached to his own with a gaze of fiery, shy intensity… There was a breath, a soft whisper that took a moment to process as it echoed through the small space, "It's…you, Sir…"
Again, Remus blinked…floundered a moment, and then smiled ludicrously widely… "Then I think, dear Vincent, it's going to be a lot easier to win this argument than you think!" And he began to laugh…
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Draco & Snape
Stalking through the corridors, eyes flashing left and right with their usual crippling gaze, Professor Snape made his way back to his chambers; exceptionally fatigued after a long, tedious, meeting within Dumbledore's office…
For many hours, he and several of the other Heads of House had been sequestered in the spacious office, though by the end, he was near ready to strangle Professor Flitwick; the man was constantly bumping into him with that ridiculous 'Swish and Flick" nonsense he was always going on with! It seemed, the reasoning behind their enforced captivity…was that Professor McGonagall caught wind of certain rumours flying about, that one of the Professors may have been having an inappropriate relationship with a student…
All morning and afternoon [a break for lunch in between] had been spent assessing the candidates from the student body and each member of the faculty, long lists of potentials being drawn up, argued over and eventually crossed out. Through much conflict, raised voices and ceaseless argument…and it had garnered no true result; for all their deliberation, no one teacher or student had been pinpointed…
As he felt the robes swish about as he turned around the corner, to stand before the secret entrance to the Slytherin Common Room, "Shaviesh!" he hissed impatiently, not even pausing to consider the irony that the word was Parseltongue for 'Forbidden'...
Students clamoured right and left, dropping whatever it was they were currently engaged in –he made note of the half-a-dozen odd students who separated from more amorous pursuits, and those who were swiftly concealing contraband items; all of them would receive House Points for deviousness… Snape raised his arms for silence, as they stood to attention; students of all ages were instantly quiet in obedience.
"I have been informed that several of you were involved in a prank against the Gryffindor House earlier, and I commend you your efforts," he said, to rapturous applause, there was a chorus of 'We got 'em good!' before it lulled as he once again raised his arms. "However, Professor McGonagall, and Headmaster Dumbledore, did not see it in this light…and the four main culprits will be rewarded for their efforts with detention. Would Miss Pansy Parkinson, Mister Vincent Crabbe, Mister Victor Goyle and Mister Draco Malfoy…"
Draco strode forwards with exaggerated swagger, looking like the Champion of a Quidditch match with all the arrogance he displayed; Crabbe and Goyle followed like the toadies they were, ever in Mr Malfoy's shadow… Miss Parkinson, however, emerged from a cluster of so-called 'popular girls' in the room, with a swish of her short brown hair that defied his authority. He looked at her coldly, but said nothing. There was far too much pleasure involved in dishing out her- their- punishments…and who said he shouldn't indulge a little?
"Miss Parkinson, you are required to report to Professor Hagrid, it appears the Thestrels have had a run of diarrhoea and their stables require shovelling," whilst he did refrain from smiling at the complete and utter disbelief on her features, he did enjoy it secretly. Especially as, though he had been given a list of tasks for them to complete as penance, it was his complete discretion as to whom was given which task…her attitude had given her the task he had ear-marked for Crabbe and Goyle…
Speaking of which… "Mister Crabbe and Mr Goyle, you will be assisting Professor Sprout in Greenhouse 2, as the venomous tentacular requires pruning. And Mr Malfoy…" he drew out the last name, as was his wont, before continuing, "I have several dozen cauldrons that require cleaning in the Potions Room. It seems, several first-years misunderstood the words 'Do NOT put salamander tongue in the Sleeping Draught' which resulted in rather chaotic explosions, and near insoluble coat of rock-hard, red potion. That is all, you must report immediately to your tasks, although…again, I congratulate you on your 'prank'."
To be fair…the multi-coloured rainbow of what was once the student body of Gryffindor House was exceptionally amusing…even if Minerva McGonagall did not seem to see it that way… He turned to sweep out of the room with his 'prisoners' before him, and turned to call over his shoulder, "Carry on with what you were doing…"
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After the incessant complaining of Pansy Parkinson faded into the distance, her shrill voice still echoing upon the cold walls, Snape shepherded the thick creatures Malfoy had found as Lackeys, Crabbe and Goyle, down a corridor to the left. Sunset peered over the edge of the horizon and glistened off the three Domed Greenhouses where Herbology was held each day, there was a hint of rain as ominous clouds rumbled overhead…as Professor Sprout would say, it was 'magnificent weather for tentacular pruning!'
Both the boys, with the intelligence of a cinderblock between them, waddled off down the corridor to the outside at his urging; both looking slightly worried that they wouldn't have Draco to guide them, think for them, and tell them what to do. On that note, he swirled about, with swishing dark robes to find Mr Malfoy lounging against a far wall with a smirk on his features; wordlessly Professor Snape gestured at him with a frown of displeasure on his face, and then strode away. He did not need to look back, for, after a moment of rebellion, there came an echo to his own ringing footsteps before the sound was lost in the sudden explosion of noise as the forecast downpour began.
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Swinging open with the slightest creak, though no touch was applied to its wood, the door to the Potions Room obliged the entrants by opening inwards to admit one tall, dark figure, and a shorter, smirking figure that slouched behind the first with great ease.
Immediately, the smaller figure shed his outer robe and moved to behind the teacher's desk, where the other was pacing back and forth, flicking his wand…muttering under his breath as he did so… A small army of scrubbing brushes took up the monumental task of removing great hunks of hard, red potions from the walls, cauldron and…wait, was that on the…ceiling?
"Well Professor, I've been a bad boy…would you care to punish me?" teased Draco, tugging on the other's black hair in the way he liked and pouting like a model, he was exceptionally cute like this… Snape made no response but to sigh as he felt the other running fingers through his hair, "I am assuming, as the others have no real great intelligence between them, it was you who set up the 'Colour-Grenade Spell' in the Gryffindor Common Room…?" he asked at length.
The other blinked, then looked coy as he replied, "And what if I did, Severus, love?" That was a definite wiggle off his backside…without blinking, Snape took his eyes from his lover and reached behind his desk for the golden shackles he had made for this specific purpose [though he had made up a story about a three-headed puppy...when the clerk got inquisitive…] and smiled, "Then I would have to punish you, you beautiful boy…"
Those in the room above were kept oblivious to the sounds of their passion echoing without restraint of the walls, by the mercifully pounding sound of the storm outside…and Snape had time for one last thought back to the meeting of this entire morning and afternoon before they parted that night with a soft kiss, he smirked in a manner most closely resembling that of his younger lover… "If only they knew how close they had come to the truth…"
There was a flickering moment of panic as he thought to the following day's room-by-room inspections, to be carried out by Minerva , herself…and then he was gone, back inside to hide the shackles somewhere McGonagall would never find them…Maybe in her own chambers… How would she explain thatto Dumbledore?
Yes, he was truly a Slytherin at heart…
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Harry & Trelawney
"I see…" there was a long, drawn out pause where the bed springs made a groan of suppression, and skin-tight dark leathers creaked as they were revealed in the dim lighting in the Astrology Tower…her robes sliding to the floor and pooling on the flagstones. "…that you are indeed one of the 'greatest wizards of them all', Mr Potter…" Sybil Trelawney, Professor of Divination, said.
The teenager spread out beneath her was wearing little more than a glorified rag of dark leather underwear, and a self-satisfied smirk of lust as she came closer; her long, frizzy hair rustling over the tight leather of the shining corset. Thigh-high go-go boots made unique noises as she crawled closer to him on the luxurious bed…Sybil smirked at his expression and her own deviousness; her new scheme to assist the students who were failing in her class was turning out to be one of her grandest ideas yet…
Already an influx of students had seen the inside of her chambers [and the "Hang in there, Baby!" Poster on the ceiling], Harry Potter being the latest in a string of conquests that lead from sneering Mr Draco Malfoy, shy Miss Hannah Abbott of Hufflepuff and blushingly terrified Mr Longbottom, …all the way to the less-confident-than-he-acted Mr Ronald Weasley, both of his …voracious…twin brothers and even the pious Miss Hermione Granger, herself!
Something flickered on the face of the student on the bed as she knelt up and drew out an item from behind her back… "Though I do believe…" she smiled, tugging on the multitude of strands hanging from the end of the whip, "you've been a very naughty boy…"
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Sirius/Ginny
It's not that she didn't like spending time with him, she did…she truly did. It was just…their dates were always so awkward! Her heels clacked against the pavement, the sounds of many different people enjoying the sunshine, laughing, smiling, running and playing the intricate games of children…a brightly coloured Frisbee shot past her face, and the lead in her hand yanked on Ginny's arm, near over-balancing her.
Her eyes widened with horror as the large, black dog barked, wagged his tail and took off across the park, leaving her to run after him in a pair of heels, screaming, "Sirius, No! Down, Sirius! Bad Boy, STAY! Sit, Sirius!"
Sigh, why must every one of their dates end like this?
Umbridge & Harry
Hem, Hem! Something twitched below his right eye, skewing his glasses but a smidgeon; the unconscious, battered and bleeding body of Hermione at his feet, and nothing but the ominous sounds of the Forbidden Forest echoing all around… "Now, Mr Potter, you are mine, understand?" Umbridge said, circling like a large, pink vulture… "If you want your little Mudblood harlot to live, that is…"
Her grin was feral, accenting the evil glint to her eyes; it was sickening that she hid behind the façade of pink purity…the woman was cold, calculating and cruel under that carefully-placed and curled hair. A regular female Voldemort, but less cuddly…he shuddered.
"And what if I don't want to be?" he tried for bravery in his tone, but it quavered with deep-seated fear…to be her plaything for eternity would be worse than having to kiss Malfoy each and every morning…
Although, the other option was far more pleasant…at least Malfoy would try to act dignified about it, Umbridge would probably put a collar on him, with a bell…oh gods, what if she made him wear pink? These horrifying thoughts and more passed through his mind, robbing Harry of breath and quickening his heart, before Umbridge spoke again, "Oh, you will! No Mudblood will be getting you, Potter…though you are, unfortunately, a child of two half-breeds…a sad state of affairs for one so highly revered in the Wizarding World…but it will have to do…" the woman sighed, then stiffened.
There was a snort, "And what, you vile pink creature, is wrong with being a half-breed?" asked a voice from behind; she whirled about, only to stop short in the face of so many arrows strung in her face. Harry dropped to his knees to cradle Hermione, as the Centaurs surrounded them all; he saw Bane, the Leader, come forth flanked by a younger female centaur and Firenze. Umbridge screeched, "Get back! Get back and away from me you vile half-breeds! I am from the Ministry!"
Puzzlement ran across her loathsome features…as those gathered began to laugh… The buckskin-coloured female and Firenze trotted over to Harry; the female knelt and held out her arms to take Hermione from him. "What has happened here? How was she hurt?" she asked, as blood pooled under her fingers…Firenze patted his shoulder as he stood, "Worry not, Harry Potter, Mira is the greatest of our Healers…and Bane will not let you fall prey to such a horrifying fate as that which the pink toad would offer…" the centaur smiled.
As did Harry, weakly, "It was Umbridge. When we didn't lead her to the 'secret weapon' we told her about to stop her from hurting our friends…she...she tried to stun her, but Hermione dodged the spell…so Umbridge stabbed her… I didn't even know she had a knife! It was…here it is…" he found the sticky object amongst the leaf matter and handed it over… Mira sniffed at it, grimacing with distaste, "Poison!" she cried and looked to Bane for direction.
Still the arrows remained pointed at the shrieking High Inquisitor –and they were all told over and over about thatposition- as the Centaur Leader gazed down on the woman. His expression grew grave with distaste, "You would dare to harm foals? Warriors, take her…bind her far from my sight!" and with a flick of his hand, centaurs rushed to drag her away; Firenze silently patted Harry on the shoulder and began to steer him away, behind Mira who was carrying Hermione and muttering to herself, attempting to source out the elusive poison that was slowly killing the girl in her arms.
The centaurs failed to notice the gaze that passed between Harry and Umbridge, did not see the small nod of acceptance to their fate…they would see each other again, in this life or the next…
Adopting the appropriate expression of fear, relief and concern, his eyes belied the pleasure he got from the pallid colour of Hermione's skin...well, maybe next time the little Mudblood wouldn't try to go running to McGonagall with their secret…even if they maybe should have withheld their passion for that one moment… The telling kiss had destroyed the light in Hermione's eyes…but it was oh-so worth it…
Ah well, at least she wouldn't be waking again, not if the Acromantula venom he'd coated on the knife had anything to say about it…
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Voldemort/Luna
"Avarda Kedavra!"
Green light shot out of his wand, slamming into the terrified Hufflepuff's chest and throwing him clear across the room, to land upon the growing pile of bodies… A small chain-link necklace fell to the cold, stone floor of the chamber; and he levitated it to the blonde by his side, who beheld it with a vague smile of gratitude…
"Thank you, Tom…" she said in her dreamy tone, eyes dancing with joy and innocence…now, had anyone else called him thus, hey would be writhing on the floor, screaming for the release of death…but not Luna. Luna was beautiful, with a spirit as fierce as his own, and if chasing strange little fictional characters made her happy, then so be it. He had his most intelligent Death Eaters looking into the location of the beasts she was so infatuated with…and if they were not actually real, working on a way to manufacture them…
Voldemort smiled and drew her closer, she melded to his form with great ease and seeming not to care that she was stepping over the bodies of former classmates as they strode out of the Hufflepuff Common Room…
"Where to now, my love? What else must we retrieve before you can leave this accursed place?" he asked in a sickeningly sweet voice, the other paused with her vague expression fixed fully on her features for a moment, before replying, "I think…Danny Marcos of Ravenclaw took my shoes…"
He smiled and laughed, "To Ravenclaw we go!"
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Hagrid/Aragog
Rustling sounds swept the forest clear of any potential dangers as the large man trudged through, for once sans the great, drooling Bloodhound, Fang. Hagrid was, of course, oblivious to the whole procedure, but it was simply standard operations…the man was to be protected, so had decreed their Leader, and so it shall be done…
As he reached their stronghold in the center of the Forest, the Great Leader of their Colony bade them greet him with all the enthusiasm of a returning family member…though there was no need, the half-giant was as close and dear to them already. He strode through masses of Arcromantulas, young and old, small and full-grown, as they laced the trees and webs all over the area…
Aragog, esteemed elder and leader of them all came forth, his eight giant orbs almost completely white from so long on this world; but still, he always knew when Hagrid was coming, even before his children could send word back to him of the impending arrival of his most favourite visitor. Some outspoken ones in the colony were against this…but they were a minority, for the rest loved the man, and their leader, and thought nothing of the relationship…did they not have a right to be happy together?
"Ah, Hagrid, it is nice of you to come again…come, there are new hatchlings I would have you see! Come and meet the newest members," clacked Aragog, and Hagrid followed after, exclaiming all the while with his arachnid lover about the new additions, arguing back and forth over names… After all, it soon became practically impossible to come up with an original name, for there were several thousand already in the colony, and no two were called the same thing…
The colony watched, and clacked in approval as the new children were named in succession of hatching: Janiqua, Dumbledore, Maimus, Bathilda, Roxxie, Billius and Millicent… a fine naming ceremony! As with every other time the man visited, it was part of the process…they went on to inspect several new webs, commenting on the structures and suggesting different ideas or the best way to catch certain creatures…before adjourning to a private hollow…
The Colony watched. They saw. But they never spoke of such things to outsiders…Hagrid was Family. Aragog was Leader. This was Secret…and it would be kept…
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Dolores Umbridge/Lucius Malfoy
His face was rather flushed, the eyes sparkling and just a hint of terror in their depths as he stood before her, free for once of his over-bearing wife, Narcissa; the woman seemed to think that, simply because she came from the Pure-Blood house of Black, everyone else was inferior. At least Lucius was a little more…open-minded…
She smiled as he dropped his pretentious cane to the floor and barely managed to gush out a viable spell to lock the door before he was on her, his hands everywhere in ways that would instantly disturb any student that walked in…luckily none did. Although, she very nearly cried out his name as he whispered lovingly into her ear, breath hot on her neck, "Oh, Dolores…"
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Luna & the Giant Squid in the Lake
No one would have suspected…no one could have known…
As she splashed about, laughing in the Lake during a free period of her timetable; no passing students would have even thought anything of Luna Lovegood being exceptionally excited, or giggling like one possessed. They rationalised it was just her nature…or maybe she was under the impression one of her so-called 'Crumple-horned Snorkacks' were in the Lake and tickling her…who knew with that girl anyway?
What they didn't know, what they could never guess at…was the real reason she laughed so excitedly, was that the creature who idolised her was stretching it's tentacles to tickle her where she floated on the surface…the Giant Squid loved the way she laughed…and all the other sounds she made in the dead of night when she snuck from the castle for a moonlight rendezvous…
There was no voicing their attraction…but each knew and reciprocated…and that was all that mattered…
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CROSSOVER: Headmaster Albus Dumbledore & LOTR's ~*Gandalf the Grey*~ [Promised to a Friend! ^^]
If there was ever a reason to run head-long into an Orc-attack, it was this…for the two wizards had not stopped talking for many an hour, and even the legendary patience of the Elves was being stressed thin as Legolas punched a wall out of frustration and boredom. Gandalf noticed the movement, "Why, Legolas, I always said you were impatient but this is extreme even for you…why not take the Fellowship with you and explore the School? If that is alright with you Albus?"
Dumbledore looked over the rims of his half-moon glasses and inclined his head sagely, a small quirk on to his lips…this day would be full of the most interesting activities, especially if they ran into a certain group of fifth years… Hobbits leapt up and raced through the doorway, the men, Boromir and Aragorn following at a more leisurely pace; the snoring Dwarf in the corner was swiftly snatched and hurled through the door with Elven strength, and the culprit danced out the door and was away long before Gandalf slammed shut the heavy wooden door on the loud, Dwarvish curses echoing all over the castle.
"I must, in all honestly, apologise in advance for what they may…nay, will do, Albus." Sighed the Wizard as he slid into a chair, propping his staff on the large desk and rubbing a hand through his beard…there was a loud crash, high pitched laughter and a Gondorian battle cry from somewhere below… Gandalf gave a long-suffering look as Dumbledore began to laugh softly, "It seems they may have run afoul of our resident Poltergeist, Peeves…a difficult creature to befriend, but most amusing at times…"
The comfortable atmosphere dissolved into silence, not awkward, but as companionable as an amicable conversation. Someone rapped at the door, Professor McGonagall appeared at the door, worry written all over her face, "Oh Professor! I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you had a guest…but there are some strange furry-footed creatures ransacking the Kitchens! Professor Flitwick had to body-bind them to stop the two twin-like ones from attempting to eat a House Elf…Oh lord have mercy! They're like another pair of Weasley twins!" She looked quite flustered with her hat askew and the tight grey bun falling to the left.
Dumbledore steepled his fingers and laughed, "Now, now, Minerva…they can't be that bad, I seem to remember a certain pair of Weasley Twins managing to get so far as setting a fire and spit up in the Great Hall, with a bound Slytherin student to the side, during Dinner just last year… Most amusing, I believe I gave them 200 Points for Gryffindor…" the blue eyes sparkled, even Professor McGonagall calmed, Gandalf stood reaching for his staff, muttering, "Fool of a Took…and the Brandybuck's not much better… Would you like me to see to them? Merriadoc and Perigrin, or Merry and Pippin as they prefer, can be quite a handful…especially near food…"
"No, please sit, we have dealt with worse…believe me," smiled the Headmaster and nodded to McGonagall, "Bring them to the Great Hall and have them send food up until they are full, much safer for the House Elves…" She nodded, turned officiously and left… "It seems your Fellowship is causing quite a stir in my school, Gandalf…a most fortunate distraction that you arrived so suddenly, it was beginning to get dull here…" The Maia took the complement with a modest inclination of the head. "Now, how did you come to be on this Quest, and most importantly, at Hogwarts?" asked Dumbledore, fascinated and leaning forwards, like an excited child…when there was a shrill scream coming strongly through the nearby window, Albus whipped his head to the side sharply in concern…but the sonorous sounds of an entirely other Professor overrode the noise, and then there was a splash…and then more yelling, but this time in a fairer tone…
Gandalf recognised the voice immediately, and resisted the urge to slam his head down upon the desk, "Ahem, you were asking about the quest?" he distracted the other, gruff laughter was echoing all over the castle…then paused, and the tone became full of familiar insults… He sighed heavily; he just couldn't take them anywhere! Thank the Valar, Elladan and Elrohir had not been sent on this quest, or they would have seen Hogwarts raised to the ground!
"Ah yes, how is it you came to fall through our ceiling, just as the students had sat down to dinner?" inquired the other, fascinated again; there was still more yelling outside, and a horn being blown, but Gandalf simply raised his voice higher. "Well, it SEEMS THERE WAS A SMALL ISSUE WHEN IT CAME TO-…" the noise outside abruptly cut off with a cacophony of sizzling sounds, "reading the map, and I take full responsibility for that, I let one of the Hobbits guide us…an honest mistake! Well, instead of Heading to the Mines of Moria, or even up the fearfully cold mountain Caradhras, we walked the entirely other way and fell into a giant hole in reality! Seems that somewhere to the far east of the Death Vale Forest, there is a large rift between our worlds…we may need a ladder to get back…sorry for the inconvenience. Though I must admit, the cream pie I fell into was simply delicious!"
Dumbledore laughed heartily in delight and clapped his hands, "Ah my friend, that is most enchanting news! Though I doubt we have a ladder that will fit through a rift in reality, but I will, most certainly, pass your compliment on to our House Elves…"
And then the door burst open, an ominously-faced Professor Snape twisting the pointed ear of Legolas, and that of the sodden Gimli, a nerve twitched below his eye… Dumbledore reacted with a calm exterior, although it did make an hilarious sight… "Severus, would you care to explain why it is you have in your hands, our guests?" The other released Gimli, the Dwarf glared and hefted his axe menacingly; Snape simply looked down with a cool expression and twisted the sensitive Elven ear further… "These…two, have committed no end of trouble in the last few moments!"
"This one," he pushed Legolas forward, the Prince of Mirkwood looking like he was about to tear the man's heart out with his slender, bare hands, "was caught attempting to skewer one of my students, Mr Malfoy, with arrows. After I removed the instruments, and was attempting to disarm him of the bladed weaponry, this one, he indicated Gimli with a free hand, "attempted to remove my head with his little toy. The expelliarmus spell was quite powerful and sent him into the Lake, during which time, Professors McGonagall and Flitwick came to assist and were then attacked by sword-wielding ruffians…which were then Stupified."
Legolas twisted free as Gandalf simply stared and wondered at the destructive capacity of his comrades, the Elf threw back, "This insolent brat you speak of, had the audacity to make the assumption that I was something called a 'House Elf' and subsequently tried to 'claim me' as his own. Ordering me to do his bidding. When I attempted to correct his strange mistake, he used the wand he had to set my bow afire…I was simply ensuring the correct amount of penance was paid. Then I, and subsequently Gimli, were apprehended; Aragorn and Boromir came to our 'rescue' and were stunned by some magic of theirs."
Dumbledore stood and walked around his desk to place a comforting hand on the shoulder of the infuriated Elven Princeling, "An honest mistake, little majesty, is it not? Though I will see to it that Draco is punished for damaging your weapon, may I see it? I may be able to repair the damage done…I assume the damage is what I have to thank for throwing off the aim of your arrows and saving me the paperwork of explaining his death?" It was Snape who handed over the bow, and, with a flick of his wand, both the bow was returned to perfection and Gimli was dried as if he'd never taken the impromptu swim in the lake…
"Set them free Severus, and please, refrain from twisting the Elven ears, they are quite sensitive…would you take them to Lunch? I feel they may be peckish…" smiled the Headmaster, and the Potions Master swept the two from the room…
Speechless, the Maia could not even apologise for the strange activities of his comrades any longer, but Dumbledore waved it aside and bade him speak of their journey again…Gandalf was only too pleased to obliged, and they stayed comfortably in their chintz armchairs until Lunch and the lesson directly after that had finished. Only once interrupted as Madam Pomfrey, the School Nurse, informed the pair that the men had awoken from their enforced unconsciousness…and food was brought up by a short Professor who was introduced as Flitwick, the Charms Teacher.
"A most exciting journey, though I sense it is not yet over…?" he asked the other intuitively, moving closer with his chair, Gandalf smiled, "You are correct, there is a long way to go until our world is free from Sauron's tyranny. Though, we may dally here a while if you should let us…we would be glad to help you with your Voldemort problem." He offered politely and was pleased the other was considering it.
There were loud cries of excitement and Gandalf's heart sank once again, but Albus –as if sensing it- laughed and waved his troubles away with a hand, "Only Quidditch Practice, Gandalf, that is all. Though…" he trailed off and moved to the window, Gandalf close behind; just in time to see Harry Potter and Ron Weasley -with a terrified Hermione Granger clinging to him-, flying alongside an interesting variation of Fellowship. An exhilarated Legolas flew fast past the window, arms above his head and golden hair streaming; while Aragorn held fast to the broom and ducked low, increasing his speed until he was but a blur…Boromir, meanwhile, was deathly white and gripping onto the broom so tightly it should –by rights- snap in half…and Gimli? Well, Gimli was attempting to ride the broom in a most unusual fashion…upside down and cursing the sun, moon and stars…
Harry Ron and Hermione were laughing, four small dots sat on the grounds below, looking up and eating, occasionally cheering with delight as one of the more controlled Fellowship members swooped low over them…
Sparkling eyes turned back to meet his own, and Gandalf hoped he had not misread a signal somewhere as he moved closer, placing a slightly-more-than-companionable hand about the other's waist…though Albus made no move to dislodge it… and there they stood, for the whole hour till Dinner, just holding to one another and watching the Quidditch 'Practice'…which consisted of the teams trying to teach his companions the rules. Elves, it turns out, are great Seekers and Beaters, though Rangers were better at deflecting bludgers…Gimli was best at Keeper, for everytime the quaffle neared him, he fell off his broom and caught it by miracle…and Gondorians were born Chasers…even if Boromir wasn't good at sharing it with the others…
"I feel hungry, let us adjourn to dinner…" said Dumbledore, and Gandalf replied, "A Marvellous idea, Albus!" and followed as he was led to the Great Hall…
It was truly magnificent, though they had not truly appreciated it at the time of their arrival, falling through the enchanted roof and such… The Professor's table had been magically enlarged to allow for the members of the Fellowship, Gandalf at Dumbledore's right shoulder; well, all the members bar the Hobbits, who had been given a small 'Kiddies Table' off to the right, behind a screen. Hobbits had unique eating habits…
Dumbledore had just announced the day's events and sat down with a piece of chicken to his mouth, and the hubbub of students rising and swelling like the ocean's tides…when there came a cry, well, four to be exact, as four new figures fell through the roof… One for each table! At the exact moment they stood up and he realised their identity, Gandalf glared at the ceiling and asked of the Valar, Why do you Hate ME?
Elladan and Elrohir, identical sons of Elrohir and foster-brothers to Aragorn stood up and catching sight of him [and their closest friend Legolas] nimbly jumped off the table and ran to hug them in unison…likewise, Faramir –Boromir's brother- looked up in an expression of confusion –twin to that on Eomer of Rohan's face- as he asked, loudly in the silent hall, "Who put that hole in reality there?" Four Hobbit heads appeared over the top of the screen…
Eomer called out, "There you are! The entire Rohirric and Gondorian armies are out searching for you, not to mention the Elves…the King of Mirkwood made it clear we find his son and 'those blasted mortals he ran off to play hero with' or he would kill us all! And here we find you playing games and feasting in another world?" Boromir began a fierce argument with him over it, his younger brother leaping in to both calm it down and defend his brother… Aragorn, Legolas and the twins slipped into seats at the Gryffindor table beside Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione and the Weasley Twins, who were only too pleased to have another set of twins to plot with…
All to the amusement of the entire, silent, student body of Hogwarts…
As if this was the most normal of occurrences, Dumbledore turned to Gandalf and asked in front of everyone, "So, Gandalf dear, I should very much like to have a portrait of you to hang in my office, would you mind terribly sitting for one?" Thrilled at the idea, he replied, "Only if I may have one in kind for the long road to Mordor…?"
"Of course!" decreed the Headmaster jovially…
That night would ever go down in Hogwarts history as the strangest, most confusing event that had ever graced the castle in it's many long years…Oh, and Filch actually DID find a ladder long enough to get them all back to their own reality…funny how things work out, isn't it?
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More to come...be afraid, be VERY Afraid... [LOTS More]
Thanks for reading, although you are probably a) in the foetal position, or b), reaching for the salad fork to gouge your eyes out now...
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~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire 3*~