I just read "Why do you Hate me" By Emachinescat, and so I decided to write a story in which Merlin is not cursed, stabbed, hit, tortured, killed, captured, or in any way angsted over. Work in progress! Some Mergana.

Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin, Morgana would never have turned evil, Lancelot would go die in a fire and be replaced entirely by Gawain.

Chapter 1

In which Merlin goes out to pick herbs for Gaius, and nothing happens. No, really.

"Well." Said Merlin "Really, what are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting!" He shouted out to the forest around him. "I'm out here, alone, and it's dark. This is statistically, the best and most obvious time to attack me!"

Nothing happened.

The forest was silent and still in the pre-dawn light. The grass under his feet was dewy, and the branches of the trees hung ominously, the way everything looks different in the shadows. All was quiet-a little too quiet.

Now Merlin was confused. Ever since the start of something called "fan fiction" every hunting trip, every time he left the castle walls, was an opportunity for him to get captured, tortured, beat up, or anything else the crazed author could think of. Merlin was really quite sick of it all, but had at least learned to be prepared. He knew it was times like these that the authors normally struck, and he would very much like to get it over with.

"Hello!" He shouted again, when he was startled by a rustling in the trees behind him. Someone was coming. He turned around; resigned to put up a good fight before the inevitable "Whumpage" began. Whoever it was was coming closer now. Closer, closer….

"Merlin." Said Morgana "Whatever were you shouting at?"

This, of course, startled poor Merlin so that he jumped nearly a foot in the air. "Morgana!" He shouted in surprise. "Is it really you?"

"Of course." She stated, puzzled "Who else would it be?"

"And you're sure that you're not going to stab me with pointy and also damagingly blunt objects? Or torture me with magic?"

"Merlin." Morgana said slowly "Is this about that fan fiction those crazy people have been writing about me? The ones where I am evil and conveniently used as a torturer for Whumpage"

Merlin, frightened, nodded.

"Well." Said Morgana pensively, "I can see why you might be scared. Those things scare me. But I assure you that I have no intention of bludgeoning you, or sticking you full of pointy objects, or in any other way torturing you."

"Really know" said Merlin. "Then would you be interested in joining me in..." He raised an eyebrow suggestively "...picking some herbs?"

Morgana smirked.

…Later….

"Merlin." Gaius said. "What happened? You came back late and disheveled, and without my herbs."

"Oh, nothing." Merlin smiled "Nothing at all."

To be continued…