"Dude...Mikey...man...BRO C'MON!" Frank shouted, exhasperated, into the phone. It was the day before Gerard's 17th birthday, and Frank, the reining king of clueless-ness had no idea what to get him...do
for him...what ever. "Fuckin' di- Mikey do NOT hang up- no! YOU need to help me..you are his brother!"
"Frank. Think of something yourself...I'm busy. And, it's a gift from you...use your brain..think. Bye" And Mikey hung up, leaving poor little Frank, who, might I add, was raging like a mad man, to think of a gift
idea. Now normally he had no problem coming up with gift ideas...something perverse was the norm. But this was Gerard. Gerard. The basement-dwelling comic geek he'd been (hardcore) crushing on since the 7th grade.
If he wasn't such a pussy about voicing his feelings, he'd probably march right into Gerard's room and proclaim his never dying love for the black haired boy. And he'd probably do some other thing, providing Gerard
allowed it. I mean, he hates getting stuck with needles..what would he do about Frank's...nevermind.
That night Frank did not get a wink of sleep. Maybe, he thought, I could get him a new comic...or sketch book...yea to add to the collection of extras he already has. Ugh. he did not enjoy this whole 'unprepared
for the big day' feeling. So he went and took a shower, maybe the hot water would give him inspiration. Nothing. He tried watching TV...but the weepy adds for the ASPCA, no, all those dogs, he couldn't do it. Finally he
called Ray, he was sensible right? He had to have some advice.
"Hey. Ray. It's Frank. It's an emergency."
"It damn well better be, Frank, it's 3 o'fucking clock in the morning. What?" a frazzled, still half sleeping, Ray grumbled.
'What are you getting Gerard for his birthday", Frank asked, "because I don't know what to get."
"This is your emergency? Fucking...Frank you could get him a stuffed animal hot dog and he'd love it. He's like...in love with you."
"OH MY GOD. Ray. Are you serious?" Frank nearly screams into the phone, warrenting a shout of disapproval from his mother in the next room.
"Uhm...well he's your best friend. Best friends love eachother don't they? Frank you sound like some crazy fangirl. What's going on, really?" Ray always had a knack for figuring out what when Frank was hiding
something. Frank resented him for that.
"Rayyyyyyyyyyyy. IloveGerard." Frank blurts out in a jumble of words.
"And he finally admits it," Ray announces, mostly to himself, "so, now that you've said what we knew all along, what is the problem?"
"HOW DO I TELL HIM?"
"You are so clueless. Im tired, youll figure it out." And Ray, hung up.
Are you kidding me?! Frank was getting sick of getting hung up on. And Ray was no help at all. Like what was he supposed to make of that conversation? Frank had a theory that Ray was some sort
of...dickhead. Well, not really a theory, but Frank was just pissed so...put that in your juice box...and suck it. He seriously needed some sleep.