Diclaimer: i don't own Fairy Tail

Driving Miss Daisy

"Why the hell am I driving!?" I roar through the metal rock on the radio as Bunny girl in the back fans Levy's forehead down, which does nothing. Their wasted as fuck, what is she even trying to do? Levy's mumbling incoherently and Natsu's throwing up on the church lawn I pass by, out of the window.

"Oh God, I'll never get in a car again! I'll never drink again!"

"Well that's a fucking lie." I say as dizziness hits me. Again,

"Why the hell am I the one driving!?" I get carsick just like Natsu, not as bad, but I'm vomiting out the window too, and I as we stop at an intersection I vomit on a closed window car stopped in traffic. It was nice; it was such a long red light. I catch my breath and gather my bearings right before the window I puked on rolls down.

In the car sits a pissed off policeman. Hes wearing sunglasses, and I scream

"WHAT?! Why are YOU wearing sunglasses at night!? IDOIT!" Before speeding off at the green light I got. Okay, so I was sober but I still felt a little buzz. I hear sirens and speed up even more; I am not getting caught by stupid police AGAIN. No, I don't drive badly and get tickets but the always pull over and question me while I'm walking on the street! Every time I'm with Levy they think I'm kidnapping her!

"Nooo! Gajeel slow downnn!" complains Natsu next to me, and my carsickness hits me again so I lift my foot off the gas lightly.

"Gajeel what are all those pretty lights?" Lucy burps out, looking blearily out of the back window to see the police car gaining on me.

"Shit, shit, shit, Fuccccckkk!" Following Lucy's eyes, I roar and try my best to lose him with sharp turns that destroy my stomach and wreck my mind. I'm surprised we haven't crashed and died yet.

Bunny girls rolling around in the back due to my soft turns and Levy is waking up.

"Gajeel? Gajeel where are we?" how does she even know I'm there?

"We're driving away from the party Levy."

"Why are you driving?"

"Because hes sober" Natsu hics out

"What's that sound?" Levy asks, finding her sobriety

"The coppparhs! Wee-oooh Wee-oooh Weeeee-ohhhhh!" Lucy says, raising her arms in the air and sliding around in the seats on the back screaming out of the now open back windows.

"...Gajeel?"

"I got sick on a police car."

"No." Levy replies disbelievingly as I vomit out the open window onto the dark street nights.

"Yeah."

"Wait... Where did we even get this car?" She asks as she monitors the police that are totally riding up our ass.

"Hey! NO TAIL GATING, BITCH!" I hear Lucy scream out of the open window in the back, flipping the bird to the now even angrier policeman.

" I have no idea." I reply as I lean out to throw up again. Levy crawls to the front and moves her legs to rest on top of mine. She rests her small feet on mine, pushes my hands off the steering wheel and sits on my lap comfortably. I lean completely out of the window, blowing chunks as the fairy of my life sits on my lap and gets comfortable. I hate my motion sickness.

" I love you." I say in between vomit.

She blushes and says

"Of course you do." And so my little levy saved us from the cops, from crashing and dying, and from me keeling over from sickness.

When were back at my apartment, just us two, and I'm not sick anymore, while she's falling asleep in my bed, wearing my shirt I say again:

" I love you."

"How did we get that car?"

"Levy." I say warningly as I nibble at the skin behind her ear. She gasps and says, in a low raspy voice I love

"I love you too, Gajeel."

"S'what I thought."

And she's giggling and the night swallows us, we welcome the darkness and she falls asleep, cradled in my arms.

:A/N:: Okay, so i have no idea where i got that from. And can i just say one thing? I have no idea what a crack fic is. Yeah, i know, lame but i just never understood what it meant, so if this story was considered crack, can someone let me know? I'd get what it'd mean then.

Since schools started back up, and i am already swamped with all the homeword already (AND ITS ONLY WEEK THREEE, DAMMIT) i probably won't update as often. I find myself only coming up with ideas for stories that all either end up inconclusive or just plain depressing. So, yeah, it'll be a while till i update anything.

Oh, but i do have this one idea for a legit long, multi-chapter story , that could either be totally cool and awesome or completely lame and lacking. Who knows? Hahaha, but either way, it might be a while guys :(

Or maybe not, screw homework! :)