Pointless-(Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time)-story
Mystical voice: Once upon a time, there was...
Mystical voice2: Don't you think that fancy-smancy letters on the monitor will make the story even more legendary?
Mystical voice: ::sighs, puts on the monitor and begins typing::
Monitor: Once upon a time , there was..
Mystical voice2: See? Much better. ::looks at the annoyed face of Mystical voice:: Oh, sorry. Please, continue thy legendary story.
Mystical voice: ::continues typing::
Monitor: Once upon a time, there was a small boy...
Mystical voice2: No wait! You have to make it seriously different. A small boy is sooooooo NOT fancy-smancy. Look at this ::types::
Monitor: Once upon a time, there lived a kawaii boy, His parents past on long ago.
Mystical voice2: See my point here? Ok, try that.
Mystical voice: ::sighs annoyed once more and types::
Monitor: Once upon a time, there lived a kawaii boy, who's parents past on long ago.
Mystical voice2: Stop! Hold it! ::hysterically starts waving arms above his head:: The letters, you must use....the letters.....
Mystical voice: Now you listen here, a-hole. We've already lost heck of a lot of time because of you, so STOP the friggin interruptions already!
Mystical voice2: I just want to get it right. This story needs a lot of attention seen the fact that it is one of the most famous legends of aaaall times ::stretches arms to the side to make it look more dramatically when saying: "aaaall times"::
Mystical voice: Will you shut your hole now and let me do my job? Who hired you anyway?!
Mystical voice2: The kawaii boy in the story did. You see, he wanted a perfectionist to do the job. And that would be me. He wanted me to make sure you would bring out the bravery in him...and all that.
Mystical voice: As long as you shut up it's fine by me.
Mystical voice2: But then how am I able to correct your mistakes?
Mystical voice: Write them down on a blocknote for all I care, just shut the f.ck up. ::gives Mystical voice2 an angry look:: Good. So here we go...again....for the fourth time already...
Once upon a time, there LIVED a KAWAII BOY....
Mystical voice2: Tssk tssk tssk, aren't we forgetting something?
Mystical voice: ...WHAT?!
Mystical voice2: The letters. A good intro has fancy-smancy letters.
Mystical voice: SHOVE THOSE FANCY-SMANCY LETTERS WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE CUZ I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!! Consider yourself fired.
Mystical voice2: ::begins sobbing::
Mystical voice: ::ignores Mystical voice2:: Once upon a time, there was a..AAAAHHH!!!! ::runs out the room, hiding his butt-hole behind his hands::
Mystical voice2: Looks like I found a spot where the sun don't shine, ey?
Link (in distance): HEY! When is the story gonna start already? I can't pretend to be asleep forever! Make that annoying little elf come by to wake me up already.
Mystical voice2: It's a fairy.
Link: I couldn't care less.
Mystical voice2: Right, of course. ::gets an evil look upon his face:: And now that I'm the storyteller, I will write whatever I want... MUAHAHAHAHA ::hysterical laughter continues::
Link: ::sneaking up from behind and throws a deku-nut at Mysticalvoice2's head, who, because of that, passes out:: Aww man, I just wanted him to stop his scary laugh, but sht man, I threw my nut too hard...Oh, this is great, juuuuust GREAT!! Who will tell my beautiful story now? Who will speak about my bravery? About my handsome looks, my muscular body, my....what the hell is this?! O sh.t, that's right. I'm still in this boyish body. Those friggin Mystical voices. Let's see where they left off ::grabs the monitor::
Monitor: "Once upon a time, there was a kawaii boy who's parent past on long ago."
Link: No, that's just no good. Let's see here...how do I....::pushes some buttons::
Mystical voice3: Testing, testing, one, two, three. Wow, it worked. ::does a little dance:: O yeah, uh-huh, o yea, I'm good, uh-huh... ::looks at readers::
Ahum...Ok, here we go. My name is Link, but you cannot recognize me by my beautiful voice right now for I pushed this button.. ::points at red button which says "do not push me if you do not work here" :: ..and it gave me a mystical voice. Here, let me demonstrate. ::pushes red button which says "do not push me if you do not work here" again::
Link: Lalalalala, doody doody doo dada. ::pushes red button which says "do not push me if you do not work here"::
Mystical voice3: Lalalalala, doody doody doo dada. See? I told you. ::evil laugh follows as he stretches his arms to the side:: I'm the king of the buttons! Whoohoo!
Ok, let's see here....::reads monitor again::
Monitor: "Once upon a time, there was a kawaii boy who's parent past on long ago."
Mystical voice3: Now how can I make that right? Hmm, what if I do this...and a little bit of that there and maybe some of this here.... ::keeps mumbling to himself::
Background music: Let me be keep you busy while Mystical voice3, slash, Link is doing....well, whatever he's doing. ::prepares a nice song::
Mystical voice3: I'm done! And look! I've grown! I'm aaall grown up now. Don't I look pretty? ::flutters eyes::
Background music: But I was just gonna entertain the kawaii little readers with a nice song.
Mystical voice3: Too f.cking bad, they're gonna listen to the first few lines of the story that I...yes, I said "I", wrote. Yea, I wrote my own story. I'm sooooo good! ::does a little dance:: O yea, uh-huh, o yea, I'm good, uh-huh. I would hug myself if I could...wait I can ::puts arms around himself::
...
...
...
::let's himself go:: Ok, I'm done. Let's begin:
Readers read, for I, Link.... ::thinks::uhmm, what's my last name?
Background music: ::still pissed off because he doesn't get to play his CD:: Piss off.
Mystical voice3: No. ::thinks:: No, I don't think it's "piss off". ::thinks:: Oh well, who needs a last name anyhow. I continue: Reader read, for I, Link, have re-written the famous legend: The legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. And I did it just the way I like it. I did it....my way.... ::evil laugh::
Background music: ::plays "jaws"::
Background itself: ::adds more shades for horror::
Mystical voice3: Cut it out, you bastards!!
Background music: ::stops playing and turns to Background itself:: Moodswings.
Background itself: ::returns colors to normal and turns to Background music:: I wonder if it's PMS?
Mystical voice3: ::turns to readers:: Ok, here it is: The one and only: Legend of Link: Hero of Time!
Monitor: Once upon a slime,
Mystical voice3: ::stops the monitor:: Oops, little typing mistake here. Let's fix that....there. Just perfect. Here, read:
Monitor: Once upon a time, there was a handsome young man, who had great muscles from lots and lots of working out. He was the Hero of Time. But that story, my young little readers, will follow as soon as I have learned how to write a good story.
Mystical voice3: So? Whaddya think?
Background music: That's just crap.
Background itself: Yea, I agree. I think you should wait for Mystical voice2 to wake up. Well, that is if you didn't kill him. Deku-nuts hit you pretty hard in the head, ya know. Or you can wait for Mystical voice to return from the hospital. I believe he has some fancy-smancy letters to remove from his....
Mystical voice3: Shut the f.ck up. You know nothing. My story is the best there has ever been written. You're just jealous that you didn't come up with it. Besides, who asked for your opinion? I asked the cute little readers. ::pushes red button which says "do not push me if you do not work here"::
Link: ::turns to his youthful little readers and gives them a puppy face:: You liked it right? Right? Please, you must review and tell me you like it...
Background music: ::rolls mechanic eyes and sighs:: Here we go.
Link: ::falls on knees and folds hands together, holding them above his head:: My little kawaii readers, you must review and tell me you like it, or else.... ::thinks:: ...or else I die. And you wouldn't want me to die, would you? Me, poor little Link, poor handsome, muscular little Link...
Background music: Poor little airhead Link.
Link: ::scowls at Background music and whispers so only Background music can hear:: ................::whisper::...................::sees the monitor::
Monitor: "You're gonna die you little f.ck."
Link: Sh.t! Who wrote that down?! Which one of you wrote down my threat?! It was for Background music only! Why the friggin f.ck do you think I whispered for? Whoever wrote it is in serious trouble! You know you're violating my privacy! Non of you have the right to butt in to my private life, dammit!
Background music: Your private life? What, so you're a killer then, ey?
Link: ::thinks::....uhm, is that a trick-question?
Background music: Yes.
Link: Then I reply with: I'm sooooo cute. It's my hottyness...
Background itself: ::mouthing:: Hottyness?
Link: ...that makes the girls faint when I'm around. And of course the muscles. ::winks at the female readers::
Background music: Sucking up won't work Link.
Link: Oh, really? ::pumps up muscles:: Then look at the girls now ::HUGE smirk::
Background music: ::sighs and rolls mechanic eyes::
Background itself: I've given this a lot of thought you guys. I really have and can only come up with one theory.
Background music: ::looks wondering at Background itself::
Link: ::he too regards Background itself with a puzzled face:: What the f.ck are you talking about?
Background itself: Actually it's more like a conclusion.
Link: I still have no idea what the f.ck you're talking about.
Background music: I might have to agree with Link here.
Link: ::smiles at Background music:: Aww, you do? That's so sweet.
Background music: 0.o ? What did you give that idea?!
Link: You never agreed with me. I think you're getting a crush on me.
Background music: Are you out of your mind?!!
Link: Look ::points:: you're blushing.
Background music: How the hell am I suppose to blush?! I don't have any skin.
Link: Then how come you can talk?
Background music: Uhmm...well I.....I just.... ::thinks:: Yes, how the hell can I?
Link: Just admit it, you have a crush on me.
Background music: I do not! Now let's move on.
Link: It's ok, I'm used to that. Everyone has a crush on me. It isn't that strange. I mean, I am THE most wanted man in the universe ::runs a hand through his golden hair::
Background music: Link, I'm NOT your average girl. I'm a machine, a manly one too.
Link: So? There are guys who like me. And I believe you are starting to join their club.
Background music: Link, are you suggesting that you like men to have a crush on you?
Link: ::coughs:: Ahum, let's move on. Background itself, you were saying..?
Background itself: Well, since you, Link no-last-name, have so many moodswings, I have come to the conclusion that you really must have PMS. No other explanation comes to mind.
Link: O.o ??
Background music: :D
Link: O.o ?!
Background itself: :I
Link: O.o !! ...................::draws sword::
Background itself: O.o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::runs away, taking the colors with him::
Link: ::looks at himself:: O dear.. I mean: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::falls on knees:: I'm grey!!!! My beautiful blush on my cheeks....it's gone... ::begins sobbing:: My beautiful golden hair...grey!
Background music: ::heavy voice:: There's only one way to get your blush and golden hair back, Link. ::stands bravely::
Link: ::looks up at Background music:: But how? There's no finding Background itself back.... ::stand up:: Wait a minute here. Why did Background itself take all of the color when his name clearly points out to background color only?
Background music: We must find that out. But the only way to do that, is to...get...him...back... ::insert music:: DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!!
Link : O.o Scawy….
Background music: Scawy?
Link: Yes, Scawy. Vewy scawy.
Background music: Link, buddy. You and I must get Background itself back and return the colors to normal before it's too late.
Link: You're right! But most of all, ::lifts sword up in the air:: we need to solve the mystery of the lost colors that are no background.
Background music: What?
Link: ::lowers sword:: You know, how Background itself could have taken every color, even if it's not a background color.
Background music: Ow that. I suppose you're right.
Link: ::lifts sword up in the air again:: Let's go get back our colors! ::leaves::
Background music: Uhmm Link! I have no legs!
Link: ::returns with wheelchair and puts Background music in it:: There, how's that?
Background music: Much better thank you.
Link: Let's go get back our colors! ::leaves while pushing wheelchair:: You're heavy.
Background music: Of course I'm heavy. I've been made out of metal.
Link: That explains it.
Background music: I'm thirsty.
Link: ::stops leaving:: How can you be thirsty? You're a machine.
Background music: I just am.
Link: ::sighs:: Fine. Let's have one cup of thee, THEN we go and get back our colors. ::whispers something::
Monitor: "I miss my hair"
Link: WHO WROTE THAT!!!???
To be continued in: "The sequel; getting back our colors"
My God, that had no story whatsoever! Don't worry, there won't be any sequel either. LOL!!!
I just had to get this out of my system.... :P
Hope you enjoyed it anyway..
By the way: I've been in a fight. My opponent was a wasp. He won, dammit! And it still hurts. I'm serious, the little bastard kept his ass in my finger and when I tried to shake him off, he wouldn't let go! I totally freaked. I got him off though, finally. It really hurt, it still does. My finger began to swell immediately. (My middle-finger :P LOL) The swelling is almost gone, but it still stings. Damn Summer and it's stingin' creatures!