Summary: She had a choice, her career on ice and a chance at the Olympics or him. Her decision only made her all the more determined to win. While her heart would forever belong to him, her soul begged to skate. Two-piece.

{~Golden Grief~}

[...]

At eighteen all her dreams would come true; at least, that was how she had it planned since she was four. She would practice each and every day, she'd get better and better, she'd enroll in competitions, she'd win and get the attention of an incredible instructor that could teach her all she would need to know to end up at the international event that the entire world would watch. That's how her life went, she devoted herself to little more than skating, school was important but not gravely, and boys were a nuisance.

Expect for one, expect for the boy with hair the color of ice and eyes the hue of the blinding sun, a boy she knew since childhood, a boy that walked her home from practice every day, a boy a few years older and always there at her competitions to encourage her. A boy that took her first kiss and stole her heart, the first boy to confess his love for her, her first and only boyfriend...

Toashi Inuyasha, her biggest distraction. Dates got in the way of practice, endless thoughts of him made it hard to remember when she was meant to spin, leap, or how many twirls she was destined to do, and her love for what had always been her backbone, skating, began to waver for the flaming sensation she held for him… that was why, she was certain, that she needed to end it. At the age of sixteen, she was too young to know what true love was, wasn't she? It was just a fleeting feeling, it would get in the way of her dreams, and her instructor the infamous old silver medalist Hayashi Kaede encouraged her decision, too. So she ended it with the boy, she said 'let's be friend' and at first he refused to speak to her anymore, refused to support her resolution…

A year passed and she devoted herself fully to the sport once more, she honed her skills and even partnered up with a handsome skater by the name of Akitoki Houjo, they were a perfect pair, they were in sync when it mattered, he could throw her higher than anyone else, and they won often together.

Then he came back, their friendship had lasted years before they dated, right? They could manage to be friends, she was giddy with delight to see him in the stands along with their mutual friends before any one of her performances—as long as it was relatively close to Tokyo, otherwise no one but her instructor was there. It was fine, it was a bit lonely, but slowly she reached closer and closer to her goal…

She made it, she qualified for the Olympics like she had always hoped for, she had never felt such a joy in all her life consume her when she discovered her and her partner would be going to represent their country.

Everyone was so happy for her, but the celebration was cut short for her, at least, when—at her party—he showed up with another girl, a pretty one… an ever so beautiful, brown haired, chocolate eyed girl that same age as him. When had he started to date other people? Her friends were awed that she did not know, apparently it had been going on for a year… how idiotic was she, how could she miss it? Worse yet, it was through her that they met, caring, cute, Kikyou was the niece of Kaede, it was at one of her competitions the two crossed paths.

She loathed the girl, Hayashi Kikyou, the moment they met though she knew she hadn't a right. She had given him away and for good reason, right? After all, she would succeed. She'd go and win, she would. The girl, no, woman was so kind, too, so sweet, and calm, the opposite of Inuyasha and his perfect balance—that's what everyone said, at least. Higurashi Kagome couldn't see it, they didn't work, she thought, though when she saw them kiss it seemed like their lips were designed for the others.

It was the first time in two years she shed tears over the relationship she had ripped apart.

She made the right choice, she did, she'd prove it… in just a few months, she'd show everyone that she made the right choice.

Not that anyone was asking, no one seemed to care but her any longer.

{~X~O~X~}

"Well done," Kaede, the old hunchbacked woman, congratulated as the two slid off the ice to place their protectors on their blades and wobble over to their seats, "Kagome, on your double spin you were off, Houjo, you were going too quickly near the end, slow down. You two need to be perfectly in sync for the short program, remember that."

"Yes, Kaede-sama," Kagome chimed just like Houjo did.

"We'll do fine, Kagome-chan," Houjo assured when he noticed her nervous tick of constantly rubbing her hands together come about as the announcers proclaimed the first couple would start, "we just need to get through the short program today and then we'll do the long one in two days, we've done very well this year, we placed—"

"None of those other competitions matter, Houjo-kun," Kagome chimed as her eyes wondered around the rows upon rows of seat, if there was a familiar face out there she wouldn't be able to tell but she couldn't help but continue to look anyway.

"We placed second in the world competitions—"

"Second is not good enough, we need to place first, don't think that anything less is OK, Houjo-kun, or else you won't do your best."

"Alright, Kagome-chan, I won't," he nodded with a warm smile, he was such a sweet boy and obviously doted over her with extreme affections but she pretend as if she did not notice. They were partners, romance needn't be added to the equation or else it would all be ruined, and besides she'd hadn't eyes for anyone but a certain hot-headed hanyou… not that that mattered any longer.

That's why she needed to win, for him, to prove that she had made to give him up to achieve her dreams. He'd understand, then, wouldn't he? Did it even matter… did he even care anymore? She shook her head; those worries were the least of her concerns at the moment, so she shut her eyes and sat back trying her utmost to meditate her fears far, far away.

It worked well enough until she felt her partner tense up beside her, the American couple that beat them in the world competitions, the second to last couple before them, took the ice. Both held their breathes as the two soared across the ice as if they were floating on clouds, they had such grace, such relentless fabulous flowing motions, not one of their actions were at fault, nothing went wrong for them.

Neither of them were shocked to see their score come out good enough to debunk the French couple the formerly held first place. That left them, the last couple…

"Are you ready, Kagome-chan?" Houjo whispered as he stood up, holding his hand out for her.

No, but who ever felt they were really ready to step onto the ice at their first Olympics? Or any Olympics, for that matter, so she nodded regardless and took his aid to get up. She had to focus inward and ignore the world, the roaring coward, the annoying announcers as they slid into place on the ice, he was behind her, his hands floating about her waist as she posed and waited for their music to start.

This was it, this was her moment, the one that would define her future, the one that would justify her past.

Together they glided across the frozen slate, interlacing themselves with each other as they spun, they were in perfect synchronization as they both leaped up for a double-toe loop and landed at the same time, both with perfect posture, backwards to slid into their next place, his hands grasped her waist to through her in the air for a triple axel.

That was when they—she—made a faulty landing, not a completely noticeable one, not one worth falling down over, but it was enough that she knew a point or two would be deducted. Together, they ended in the proper post to hear the uproar of all the generous onlookers applauded their efforts.

It wasn't good enough, she knew that as she slid off the ice to ignore Kaede's praise, they wouldn't debunk the Americans, they'd come in second at best.

Worse… they came in at third, the French must have done miraculous—she hadn't been paying attention.

{~X~O~X~}

Practice, practice, practice, those were the only words that she knew for the next two days, she ignored all calls from her friends, she didn't bother to see her family that had traveled all the way to Vancouver with her to watch, and devoted herself to their program more so than even Houjo.

It was not all for naught; she didn't throw away something that honestly should not matter to her anymore—right? It wasn't like he was the love of her life; she had a long time to find that, right? He was just her first, that was why it was hard to let go… she needed to date someone else and all would be fine. Later, after she won her medal she'd find someone else. Someone better, just like he did…

"Damn it," she cursed quietly to herself as she landed improperly and fell to the empty ice, "damn it," she whispered again as she hit the cool sheet. No. No… she need to stop, she closed her eyes and took a breather, she would do fine tomorrow, she'd make her point—was that really all it boiled down to her now?

To prove that breaking up with that boy was the right choice?

"I'm so stupid," she whispered to herself as she lazily got up to brush the flickers of ice off and skate off, "any girl would kill to be here… I should be here for me."

But she wasn't and she doubted she ever could be… it was about him, it always would be.

{~X~O~X~}

"Kagome, you'll do very well," Souta, her darling little brother assured her as he sat down on the bench next to her, he was ever so giddy when she got him a pass that would allow him to come down to 'ground zero' with her.

"Thanks, Souta," she smiled, really, for her brother. It was not for selfless reasons that she pulled so many strings so he could sit beside her while she watched all the other couples do their long programs, it was for her benefit, really. He always calmed her, it was what she needed before going out on the ice, he was so darling to her.

"You're the best, no matter what," he kept up.

To him, that was true, so she brightened her smile and even laughed as she pulled him into a hug, "that's why I love you."

"I know," he chuckled back before his hand moved to his pocket, "hey, look, it's Miroku, can you take calls down here?"

"I don't know," she mused but did so anyway, what was the worst that could happen, "hello?"

"Kagome! You're going to do great; I figured Souta was with you so I called him. You've been ignoring my calls, little lady."

"Sorry, I've been busy," she coaxed, "but thank you, Miroku."

"You're very wel—" but he was not able to finish his sentence before the phone fumbled from him and a familiar female began, "you'll do awesome, Kagome!"

"Thanks, Sango."

"Seriously, I have complete faith in you and Houjo. You're going to win gold for sure, that's what all the announcers keep saying on TV."

"That's because you are watching it in Japan, of course they'll say that we'll win."

"That's besides the point," she assured, "you'll do great. We all love you and are rooting you on."

"Thanks," she sounded like a broken record.

"Hey, have you seen Inuyasha? He's there, Kikyou got them tickets and they went on a like pre-honeymoon vacation—"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, Inuyasha's there with Kikyou, it's not surprising you haven't seen them, you must be practicing all the time, right?"

That wasn't what got her the pre-honeymoon part tore at her… pre-honeymoon, meaning, he popped the question? She had overheard him asking Miroku what the best way to propose would be but she thought that they were talking about how Miroku should ask Sango not how he should ask Kikyou.

So, she lost him, completely and totally? He was to marry another… the phone slipped from her hands as she slid down in her chair to stare at the ground aimlessly. Great, just great, that's exactly what she wanted to hear before doing her long program.

Again, the Americans did brilliantly to keep their first place spot secure, the French did well, too, and a Canadian couple bumped them out of third place but that was understandable since they had yet to do their long program.

"We'll do great this time, Kagome-chan, we can actually win this," Houjo encouraged his blatantly nervous partner as they walked to the door that would lead them onto the ice.

"Yeah, we will," she whispered back with the weakest of smiles before they slid onto the ice to find their positions once more, the start of the program was much like that of their short, faultlessly they twirled together, perfectly they jumped and landed on cue, together they did a triple lutz grandly, then it was the second half—where they'd get more points for their efforts. The hardest part, when their legs were both weak, when they would have to focus more on their footwork, where their bodies were aching to stop, when Houjo would throw her in the air.

A little too high, a little too fast, was it his fault, then, that she lost her balance after her triple axel and didn't land right? That she hurt her ankle so badly when she fell to the ice with quite the thud… it echoed about her as the world stilled for that second, her dream died.

There was no doubt in her mind…

Yet they had to go on, and with grave pain she managed to get up and pretend that it did not just happen, that they were fine, that they'd be fine, that it would be OK…

But it wasn't.

She didn't let the tears that threatened her eyes come out as she slid off, ignoring Kaede's 'it could happen to anyone' completely as she sat down on the bench to wait for their terrible score. They might get third but… oh well; a medal is a medal, right? A bronze would be good enough, it's be better than any damn diamond ring, right?

No, her heart protested as she cupped her mouth and leaned her forehead over to kiss her lap.

Fourth place, they won forth place over all. There was not a place worse than that, she was certain, it meant that you were just barely not good enough to win a medal but still pretty damn good.

Just not good enough, that was the part she'd always recall, no one ever remembers who won fourth place. Yet, everyone tried to cheer her up, even Houjo was pleased with himself, it was their first Olympics together, no one ever really placed on their first trip to them, they'd do better next time.

In four years… in four years, would Inuyasha have a cute little baby to dote over with his pretty wife?

{~X~O~X~}

That moment was why she gave up on him, she couldn't hold back the tears as she slid down in the blazing hot shower to feel the water pelt down on her, the sound overshadowing her sniffles and sobs as she wrapped her arms around her legs. That moment was why she wouldn't be the future Mrs. Toashi but just the friend, gods; could she ever go to that wedding? No. She didn't care if it was selfish, rude, or anything of that nature, she'd never go to it. She could not endure it, she'd be practicing instead.

She'd win, eventually…

Maybe… yet, all her resolve to do so died the moment she had a doctor look over her ankle, it was fractured, she'd need to rest and get it fixed, lay off practicing for some time. Perhaps it was a sign, a universal F-You, Higurashi Kagome, you made the wrong choice, let me prove it to you by wrecking your ankle and making you fall. Yeah, that seemed about right, that's what she thought at least as the tears swirled with the water from the shining shower head.

If it was under different circumstance, if she weren't trying to prove anything, she'd probably be thrilled with even placing fourth in the Olympics at all. She'd do better next time, for certain, that was how she should be thinking but now…

Now all she could do was cry and contemplate whose fault it was, Houjo's or hers? Did he throw her too high, too fast, hence it was his fault, or should she still have been able to recover?

"Damn it," she cursed sourly at the sound of the pounding door, with absolute reluctance she wobbled over to open the door in her oversized, complementary white, fuzzy, robe to glare at whoever was on the other side, "go away, Sou—"

"Gome, it's me," Inuyasha countered before the door was fully open, he stuck his foot in the suddenly closing door, "hey! What the hell—?!"

"Go away! I don't want to see you, ever!" She shrieked as she tried to push the door closed with all her might but she was weak compared to him, he had no trouble pushing it open enough to see her but she blocked his effort to walk in with her own body.

"I'm sorry you lost! You did really well—"

"No I didn't!" She hissed back as she opened the door to look at him coarsely, "I didn't get a medal—"

"You are an Olympic athlete, Gome," she felt a stabbing pain each time he called her that name, only he ever did, "that's still really great, come on—"

"I don't want you comforting me, go to hell," she demanded.

That shocked him into silence, a rarity for the loud mouth.

"Go back to your pretty fiancée, I don't want to see you anymore, I never want to see you again. I don't want to be friends, I don't want to be around you! Don't you dare invite me to the wedding, I won't come!"

For moment, that seemed to only baffle him more before her flustered words registered a growl erupted from his throat, "what? You are jealous of Kikyou now? You broke up with me! What the hell was I supposed to do? Wait forever for you to change your mind!?"

"I don't care about you! Even now you still get in the way; if I'm ever going to win I need you gone!" She declared as she kicked his foot out of the door with her good one and grasped the handle so tightly that her knuckles whitened, "I'm going to be back in four years, I'm going to win! Watch me!"

"That's all you give a damn about, Kagome!" He snarled, "winning a stupid medal! Nothing else matters, you have no life!"

"I have no life with you," she corrected before slamming the door shut.

In four years, she'd be back, in four years, she'd win gold, in four years, she'd redeem herself to the world… in four years, she'd prove her point.

Right…?

Then why didn't deciding that make the pain go away? Why'd she still fall to the ground and cry her heart out all over again?

A/N: I couldn't help myself, I looooove figure skating and the winter Olympics. I know the winter Olympics isn't as popular as the summer but it's my favorite. I want to point out, though, that I didn't watch the couples so I don't really know who won, I just put whoever, it's a fictional story, so why not? (I was beyond happy when Evan Lysacek won gold he's sooo gorgeous.)

Anyway, this is a bit depressing, huh? It's a two-piece. They'll be one more chapter.

I hope you enjoyed and pretty please review.