Prologue

John floated somewhere between life and death. Looking around him he wondered why he didn't see the light that everyone talked about in experiences like this. There were no dead relatives to come lead him home. Instead he was cold and alone for what seemed like an eternity.

He stayed in limbo floating in nothingness, unable to move forward or go back. Thoughts and memories strolled through his mind, some of them happy but mostly depressing. John knew he'd ruined his life and he didn't even contemplate getting a second chance, even though McKay had promised one. John wasn't worth it, he'd known that for a long time. He was a washed up flyboy, who destroyed everything he touched.

"Always down on yourself, ain't ya, John? It's time to stop it; you're a good man and your number isn't up yet, not by a long shot. There's a lot for you to do."

With the voice came a light that bathed him in warmth and for the first time in ages he felt loved. It was a feeling he hadn't realised he missed.

Turning his head, John tried to find the source but the light was too bright. Like the darkness before it, there seemed to be no beginning or end, only the light.

"Nothing to say, John?" There was a hint of laughter in the voice and John turned in the direction he thought the voice had come from but there was no one there. "Are you going to talk to me, John?"

Spinning around again as the voice came from behind him he demanded, "Who's there?"

His question was only answered by laughter. "Have you forgotten me already?" The voice made a tsk, tsk sound. "I haven't been gone that long."

Then a figure emerged from the light and John recognised her at once. "Miranda? Is that really you?"

She laughed again. "Can't even believe when it's right before your eyes, can you John? Yes, it's me Who else would you expect; your mother or father? Neither of them are in this place, but they may be somewhere else. I don't have contact with the dead."

Confused, John shook his head. "I watched you die in my arms. I couldn't save you or the others. I failed you just like I have failed at everything. So I'm sorry, creepy dream, Miranda is dead so go away."

"Yes and no. I am Miranda but I'm not dead, just gone from this existence to a place you cannot follow," Miranda answered, talking in riddles. "There is someone who needs to talk to you. There is something she needs you to do; only you have the ability to accomplish this task. It's very important that you listen to her."

Shaking his head, John took a step back. "I don't understand what's happening. Am I dead?"

Miranda laughed again as she shook her head. "Haven't you been listening to me? I'm not dead and neither are you. You're in surgery; the doctors are fixing the damage done to you. You will live, I promise you. There is still a lot for you to do. Millions, if not billions, of lives hang in the balance, unless you help them."

It was John's turn to laugh. "I'm dead; the last thing I remember is lying in the desert bleeding to death. Rodney finding me was just a dream. I was shot in the heart or fairly close; how am I not dead?"

She reached out to him, touching his face and he could feel her touch. This was so real and he wanted to believe that Miranda was in a better place.

"I was watching out for you and I kept you alive long enough for your friends to find you. Now Jayla needs your help and I owe her. I've told her you'd be willing to help. You're the only one who can."

"I'm in no position to help anyone. Leave me alone, Miranda, I have enough ghosts to haunt me. Let me die in peace."

"You're not going to die, I won't let you, you're too important."

"John... Time to wake up." Another voice called John, pulling him away from the light.

"Don't worry, John, Jayla will find you. She needs help and you're the only one who can. Now it's time to wake up, Rodney is getting worried."

Suddenly John was falling but he never hit the ground.

John Sheppard sat up, breathing hard. Lifting his hand he touched his head or at least tried to but it was inhibited by his IV line. Fragments of the dream lingered but the more he tried to put the pieces back together, the more they slipped away. The last image to go was Miranda, laughing and happy.

Looking around, he realised he was in a hospital room. His free hand went to the bandage on his chest, surprised to be alive. She was right, the dream Miranda, he was alive, the doctors had saved him. When he was lying out in the desert, he had been pretty sure he was a goner with the wound so close to the heart.

"About time you woke up, sleeping beauty."

John turned his head to see Rodney sitting next to his bed in what looked like an uncomfortable plastic chair. "What are you still doing here?"

"I was waiting for you to wake up and say thank you. It's not every day you save the world, maybe even the universe." Rodney got to his feet and stepped up to the bed. "So how are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot," John snorted. "How do you think I feel?"

Rodney smiled. "Listen, I've been talking to some people and I might have a proposal for you. I still need to work out the kinks but when I know more I'll let you know. I'm trying to get you reinstated in the Air Force and stationed on Atlantis. We need you, John, you're the missing piece."

John smile was tight. "Yeah, that's going to fly. You know why I left the service and the cloud that lingers? It didn't have anything to do with being bored with the work." He leaned back, not wanting to remember, but it was all there, all day every day. "I got a bunch of people killed. Do you really think the Air Force will welcome me back with open arms? Dream on, Rodney, I don't care who you are or how many strings you pull, it ain't gonna happen. I'm a washed up failure and that's all I will ever be."

Folding his arms across his chest, Rodney smirked. "Just you wait, saving the world earns anyone a few points. You'll be in Atlantis by your next birthday." He got to his feet. "I have to go now, but I'll be back. Rest up, the doctors are letting you out of here in three days and then you'll be on your way to the Pegasus galaxy with me."

He waved and disappeared out the door before John was able to rebut him anymore.

Staring at the now empty doorway, John wondered if the carrot Rodney had dangled in front of him was something he wanted and then he smiled. He could lie to Rodney but there was no way he could lie to himself. As soon as he heard Rodney say Atlantis, he wanted to go. No, he needed to go and he didn't even know why.

There are two more chapters posted on my site if you would like to check them out Google my penname and you will find me. I love to hear from you whether you liked it or loved it. :0P

Also I have published two original pieces of work on Kindle you can find a link to them on my website as well.