"Another Dragomir", the words were repeated in my head every hour, of every day. Shortly after my trial I explained the note to Abe.
I made him swear to find Lissas sibling, so thats where he was. He had been searching for over a month, but with my trial in less than a week I knew he would be returning soon, I just hoped he wouldnt be alone. I had refused all visitors, (atleast they gave me that right). In the beginning Adrian had visited me every night in my dreams. I was always so happy to see him, but I finally decided that I needed to let him go. I explained to him where my heart truly lied and that I could never truly love another. I chose not to use my being locked up for a reason because I knew he would just argue that I would be out soon (which I knew was more than likely not true). After accepting the inevitable he stopped visiting. Im not sure where he was now since I had decided to stop "checking in on lissa", she needed to learn to live without me, just incase Abes plan (whatever that was) didnt work.
I missed them, all of them. I missed Lissa depending on me, Christian's smart mouth (similar to mine), Adrians annoying cockiness, but most of all I missed Demitri. Demitri had tried to visit in th beginning, coming everyday at first, but slowly it faded. I still have nightmares of hearing him yelling at the guards, "TELL HER ITS ME! TELL HER WHO IS HERE! I KNOW SHE WILL SEE ME, YOU ARE LYING!". Everyday the guards had to wrestle him out of the jail. It hurt me so deeply to refuse him, but I had to stay strong. 'Love fades, mine has", those were the words he had said to me. When the guards first came to take me Dimitri had fought them all, he would have kept fighting them to keep me safe if I hadnt stopped him. But I knew he had to stop, for a long time I thought he fought them because he did still love me but now I knew better. He is a guardian and was just protecting another. So, everyday I had to remind my self of those words, "Love fades, mine has".
Lissa came everyday still. I could hear her asking to see me, and everyday she was refused. Some days Christian would come with her, after the guard would refuse them they would sit and wait. Im not sure what they were waiting for, I guess to see if all of a sudden I would have a change of heart. On days they came together they would only wait about 30 mins, but I could hear them talk to each other. Christian was worried about his Aunt, she had left about the time the queen was murdered and he hoped she was ok. At first I thought that maybe it was Tasha that had set me up just so she could have Dimitri, but then realized she didnt need to set me up. She could have him anytime she wanted, "love fades, mine has".
Aaagghh! This is so aggrivating! Here I am Being tried for killing the queen, more than likely I will be executed, and yet all I can think about is him.I should have a better head on y soulders, maybe Dimitri was right, maybe I am immature, because all I can think of is him, I needed to clear my head. "Guard", I yelled. A smaller guardian (most were smaller now that they were forced to graduate at 16) came to my cell, "what", he asked. "I want my free time now". They had offered to let me have "free time" a couple of times but I always refused. Their "free time" consisted of a 10x10 area that was completley fenced in, similar to a dogs pen."Fine" he barked back at me, I moved to the side, they slid open my cell, and started to handcuff my hands and placed shackles on my feet.
It was about noon time (moroi time, midnight human time) so everyone was up. the moon was shining high and full. I walked in circles around the area trying to pretend to be somewhere else. Everyone in the entire court could see me but I didnt care. I knew the guards wouldnt let anyone near me. The guards stayed in the shadows, guess to give me some privacy. I found some shade from an old oak tree thats branches hungover my "pen" and sat down. I closed my eyes just to bask in the moon light but thats when I feli it, nauseau. It was so strong, I realized it must just be my nerves beause we were in court, and the guards were high. However, the nauseau kept getting stronger and stronger. I looked around but saw nothing. "Guard, Im ready to go in", I yelled but no answer. Thats when I seen her, up in the tree was Tasha, Christias aunt.
She had this wicked smile on her and the moon made her look pale. Just as I finished that thought I noticed her eyes, they were ringed in moon wasnt the reason she looked pale. She was strigoi. Automatically I went for my stake only to be stopped by my shackles, (plus the fact that prisoners dont get stakes). She laughed a menacing laugh and started to speak. "Rose, sweet Rose. Its all your fault. I loved him so much, but he only loved you. I had to cover his tracks, I wouldnt see him locked up again." she hissed. "What are you talking about, why are you here?" I asked, I realized if she had wanted to kill me she could have done it immediately. "I couldve made him happy, but no. He chose you. Over everything else, even his self he has always chosen you", she was starting to get angrier as she said every word. "If you are going to kill me get it over with! Im not in the mood to play 20 questions with some undead bitch!" I spat at her. Why wouldnt she just get it over with? "Im not going to kill you Rose, he wont see and he needs to see. He needs to see what I will do for him to be mine." "What the fuck are you talking about?" I yelled, I kept screaming hoping that a guard would hear me.
"You really dont know do you? Dimka had seen how upset you were about the new age decree so he decided to go speak with the queen on your behalf. Things got heated when she refused to listen to reason and he lost control. He came to my room to tell me, and I told him that I would take care of him. I will always take care of him Rose" Realization hit me then. This bitch had set me up. I couldnt believe it, where the hell are my guards so they can hear this shit! All I had to do was tell someone who did do it and I would be free. Wait, did she say Dimitri had killed the queen? "You are lying, you are a fucking liar, Dimitri would never do anything like that. He couldnt" I looked up but she was already gone. "GUARD!" What was I going to do now?
"Add Dimitri Belikov to my visitors list", I told the guard on te way back to my cell. He didnt even acknowledge that I had spoken, but I knew he heard me. I didnt know what I was going to do about my situation. I decided right now all I could do is wait. Wait for Dimitri to come and tell me Tasha had lied, wait for my trial, wait for my death.
The days went by in a blur. My trial was suppose to be on a Thursday, but they bumped it up to a Tuesday. Abe never even received the message. At least I knew he would find Lissas sibling. That much I was content with. The guards had let me shower and gave me clean clothes for my trial. After dressing I was attempting to get all the knots out of my hair when I was interupted, "Hathaway, visitor!" I didnt even turn around, I didnt believe he would come. "Roza". One word, it took only one word for my heart to stop beating.
"Roza, its me. Thank you for finally seeing me", he was almost at a whisper. I turned around and drank in all of his features. His hair was tied back in a ponytail, but a few strands hung loose around his face. He was dressed casual, but it looked so good on him. His face looked stricken, he looked to be in so much pain, I ran to my bars, "Whats wrong?". He looked down at the ground and started to speak, "Ive done something that Im not proud of. Im not sure if you will ever be able to forgive me, but I have to tell you". He turned and looked at the guard,"may we hae some privacy?" "Make it quick she has to be on trial in five minutes" the guard replied, then turned and walked further down the hall where he couldnt hear us.
"Dimitri I know. I know what you did, I know what Tasha did." I told him. As I said it I sat on the cold ground in my cell and he copied my actions only on the other side of the bars. "How do you know"?, I explained to him quickly how Tasha had come to me as a strigoi and told me everything. I told him how I didnt believe her until now. I knew if he came to see me again tht it must havebeen true. He listened intently, when he finally spoke, tears ran down his face. "I have been searcing for her, I want to kill her for what she has done, it should be me, not you. I love you Roza. I lied, my love will never fade for you. Im going to admit everything in trial today." He went to stand up to walk out, but I reached through the bars and grabbed his hand. "I love you Dimitri, more than I knew possible. I will always love you, till my last breath." We were holding hands through the bars and he was lightly tracing circles on my hand. "How can you love me after everything? I didnt want you to stay in here, but I had to find Tasha, I wanted her to face her justice just as I will face mine", he was whispering now and his accent almost made him hard to understand, but I did.
"I will always love you, no matter what. Thats what love is about, its about forgiving. I forgive you for everything Dimitri, for this, for what you did when you were strigoi. I love you and I forgive you, you need to forgive yourself". Our time was just abut up when I realzed just how much I loved him... "Dimitri, please tell Lissa Im sorry and that I lover her," he started to protest, but I stopped him, "there is something that I need to do, and if you TRULY love me you will let me". He looked me dead in the eyes, "anything my Roza". With that I stood up, "GUARD, I ADMIT TO KILLING THE QUEEN!"
I knew if I admitted to killing Queen Tatianna there would be no trial, I would be immediately executed, and I was right. Guards came out of nowhere, they threw Dimitir aside and swung open my cell. Dimitri was fighting and yelling, but I was escorted out. As I was being pushed down the hallway, I glanced back to see Dimitri still fighting, our eyes met for an instant and I knew I had done the right thing.
Before I knew it I was standing on a chair next to the same tree that Tasha had come to see me at. I had a noose around my neck and was bieng read my last rights. Lissa was in the crowd sobbing hysterically, Christian was holding her tight and tears were freely streaming down his face. Dimitri was in the back, being held back by several guardians. When they were finished reading me my rights, I was able to speak my last words.
"To my sister (obviously I meant Lissa and she knew it), Im sorry and I love you." With that she looked up and half smiled, "I love you" she sent through the bond.
"And to my other love (Dimitri, he also knew I meant him), I love you, I forgive you, pleae forgive me. I will love you for all of eternity and if there is someplace after this life, I will be waiting for you." I wanted to say so much more to him, but when I paused the chair was kicked out from me.
It seemed that everything was in slow motion then, I seen everyones faces, I seen Christian put Lissas head in his chest so she couldnt see, I seen Dimitri break free and begin running to me, but it was to late. I loved him so much, more than I loved myself. I loved him enough to sacrifice my schooling when I went to Russia to find him, I sacrificed my freedom when I broke Victor out of jail, and I sacrificied my heart when he had asked me to leave hime alone. Now I knew, I knew that he loved me, always had, and always will, and so for him, my true love, I sacrificed my life.
I ony regret one thing out of my entire life, I regret that this will be my last sacrifice for Dimtri Belikov. I loved him so.