Your Love Is My Drug

Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or anything related to Bones. All characters belong to FOX and Hart Hanson, I am merely borrowing the characters for the purpose of my entertainment.

A/N: This fiction is not related to Ke$ha's song at all, just thought the title was relevant to this fic so I borrowed it. Thank you to my lovely beta . for reading through and correcting my silly typo errors. Thank you.

Friday 20:00 hours…

Hurrying up the steps of her apartment building Brennan squinted her eyes against the fierce wind and driving rain, which was turning rapidly into sleet. It whipped her face and tingled as it pricked at her eyes. Making a soft purring noise as if it would somehow urge her to keep going, then she stopped and groaned as she fought with her lock that refused to turn. Until finally, the door opened and she fell into the warmth of her apartment, for a long moment, she just stood there, thinking about the day's event, not really taking the time to do much else. It made her sad. Angry all the things she believed to be irrational. Then shaking the dampness off her brown hair, she walked further into the apartment and removed her heavy wet coat and hung it in the bathroom to dry then pulled her boots off before she ran a brush through the tangled tresses. She looked in the mirror without really seeing her appearance except a blob for her face, two ocean blue eyes that just seemed dull now. The memories of that same afternoon played within her head. She remembered his words exactly.

"I moved on Bones. You're too late. You're the one to blame" she couldn't say his words didn't hurt like a flame. He was right. She waited too long. He had all the right to be a free man, to plan dates and such, but when she told him that she loved him and she wanted those years he had mentioned to her, she really did think he'd drop it all and follow her…How naïve was she?

One by one she peeled her clothes off as she stood there, dropping her navy blue cashmere skirt and white blouse on the floor besides her trembling legs, she turned the tap and a rush of hot water ran into the white tub.

Friday 9:00 am…

"Booth, I…I think I'm in love with you," she told him while they drove to the crime scene. He looked at her in disbelieve and annoyance.

"You think? Come on Bones…We already went down that road. You chose to leave our relationship platonic. I told you I had to move on Bones. I told you if we ever crossed this bridge again you would have to be sure Bones. I need my forever. I thought it was you, but you told me you couldn't do it, you told me you couldn't change, so this is me….moving on. You had your…chance." he told her and continued to drive without looking at her.

Brennan was speechless, her jaw dropped a little, "Booth…You know I…" she licked her lips and went on, "I can't process these things like regular women. It takes time for me to properly give my feelings a sound….This is me trying to change Booth," she said and paused for him to speak. When he didn't she continued, "How do you expect me to feel Booth? Seeing you going on dates with other women? Women who are beautiful and objectively smart?"

His hands tightened around the steering wheel, "I don't know Temperance. Why don't you enlighten me?" he responded with the smallest hint of aggravation.

"It gets me irrationally angry. The last one you dated…I wanted to beat her with a femur…" he chuckled and continued to drive. "It is not funny Booth. I didn't know why I felt like I did. I had to search through some psychology journals! The feeling I felt made me contradict myself. I remember studying this at college; I know that the release of oxycotin is to blame. It's like…dopamine. When you're in love, dopamine gives you the same feeling as when one would feel when on cocaine…"

"Are you saying I feel like a drug? Or that you're on cocaine?" Booth asked.

Brennan shook her head, "Every time I see you, you give me a shot of dopamine and it's addictive. Another matter that gave me the conclusion that I am in love with you was the levels of my adrenaline. It's on standby. When you're near, my pupils are bigger, my heart rate increases…I have observed this…." She said on a side note, "my breathing gets faster AND I'm not so hungry anymore. You wanna know why?" she asked. "Because being in love screws up my adrenaline…it messes with my digestive system, it works slower…That's how I know that I love you Booth…" she touched his hand to get a reaction from him, when he pulled away she looked down at her knees and tightened her lips together.

"Bones, I don't want to hear the science of love. All I ever wanted out of us was a love that science cannot define. I love you too Bones. I really do. I would kill for you, but I want you to want me forever not because you are experiencing what you have read in some book, but because you truly and completely love me without a doubt and your "I think I'm in love with you" just isn't enough for me,"

She nodded and looked out the window before she looked down at her notes and nodded once more, "fine, okay," she paused to compose herself, "Tell me more about the crime scene. You said the body was discovered beside a high school…"

"No, No, No Bones…You aren't getting out of this one just yet. I want to hear what you know about love." she was about to open her mouth when he rapidly added, "not scientifically."

She thought about it. Never had someone ever asked her this question before, every man that she had ever dated was content with her scientific definition of love. At the time, she thought they understood her but now as she thought about it maybe they were just scared to question her mind. "Love has three stages. First comes lust, which is driven by the sex hormones testos…"

"I said no science Bones."

"How can I define love if I cannot mention what is involved in it?" she asked and crossed her arms. He looked at her and shook his head before a small sigh left his lips. "Fine" she added, "Love has three stages," her eyebrows rose as she looked at him then continue, "There is Lust. Attraction. And Attachment."

"And you feel all those?" he asked. She hadn't realized he had been driving them in a circle for the last ten minutes until the same sign she had spotted came into view again.

"Yes."

He gulped. His heartbeat started to speed up as his hands on the steering wheel started to sweat. "It's amazing," she went on, "When I'm near you, I become slightly less intelligent," she smiled, "It's like I can't process my knowledge. You make me so angry that sometimes I don't know whether to kick you in the testicles or rip your clothes off and kiss every part of your skin. You have no idea how often I fantasize about us together. I know I'm not the ideal woman and I'll probably never marry you, but I love you Booth. I want my life to be with you. I'm sorry I took my time to realize it." She finally admitted and looked at him. She noticed his chest was starting to fall and rise faster than earlier and when he looked at her, she saw how dark his pupils turned. He stopped the car on the side of the road and looked at her intensely. "Love is so confusing," she whispered in a sigh and before she had the chance to say anything else, his lips stopped her words and sent a powerful blast of emotions that she did know she could feel. His body moved closer to hers as he continued to kiss her lips in a gentle, lingering touch with slight hesitation on both parts as they touched and both took their time to memorize the feeling before their lips parted and when they did Brennan's head felt like it was spinning with the passion she deeply felt.

"Booth," she whispered and as he kissed her, his lips moved to her long slender neck and a little groan escaped him, he wanted more. She was his most powerful addiction that he had faced within his many years on earth. He pushed her closer to him as he continued to kiss her with lust, want, need and most importantly love.

"I love you," he groaned as his desperate breathing and touches became unbearable for them both. She grabbed his tie and yanked it off before she attacked his jaw with her lips as she sucked and kiss him. Her trembling hands then pulled his shirt from his pants until the view of his defined abdomen came to sight. She grinned and complimented him before she moved over to his side, and sat on his lap. They were completely oblivious to their surroundings.

"Is that your gun or are you happy to see me?" she joked and wiggled on top of his aroused manhood with a devilish grin before she kissed the shock from his parted lips.

He kissed her back and ran his hand over the curves of her hips before he met her movement to release some of his arousal. An animalistic moan escaped his parted lips when he pushed back, "Damn it. We can't do this!" he told her. "Fuck… Look what you do to me!"

She looked down at him then moved back over to her side and fixed herself up with anger. "What I do to you? You were about to fuck me and I'm responsible for the actions you choose to make?" she scolded. "You were the one who stopped the car Booth! You're the one who kissed me first! I only told you how I feel, but you blamed me for your actions?" She buttoned up her jeans that she didn't know had been undone and looked at him, "You see what I mean? You make me so angry!" she yelled and opened the car's door. "I'm going back to the lab." She told him and stepped out of the car, "This was a bad idea and YOU still have a date with Cecilia tonight!" she yelled and slammed the door.

"You know what Bones? I WILL go on that date after all," he yelled back, "I can't do it to myself…I need to move on. You know I have moved on Bones. You're too late. You're the one to blame" he shouted and regretted it immediately after before he angrily sighed and drove away with frustration and arousal. He felt stupid for yelling back at her and he knew she was right. It wasn't her fault. He just needed to control himself out before he could be the man for the job. Maybe he should have handled the situation differently.

When the tub was full of steaming water, Brennan eyes lingered on the water before she slowly slipped in and let herself lie there and close her eyes. For the briefest moment she felt as though she were floating, as though she had no past and no future, no fear or worries until little by little the present forced itself into her mind. She remembered the passion that she felt coming from him, she felt it in his touch, but then those little moments faded and the facts swam to the surface. He was out on the date. She imagined him in his casual yet perfect clothes sitting beside a beautiful woman while laughing at her witty comments. It made her sad and for the tenth maybe eleventh time that day she blamed herself for walking away. If she hadn't taken him too seriously maybe he would have been here with her and not out with….Celia…Cecile…whatever her name was, but if he was in love with her like the way he had claimed to be, why wasn't he fighting for them like he had done before?

She sighed and arched her back, which successfully allowed the water to cover her head, and as she held her breath she felt a wave of loneliness and want wash over her and as she fought to stay under the hot water for a little longer. She could not get their moment that morning out of her mind. Each time she went there, she came back feeling worse. It was as if her mind was playing torturing games on her and when she tried to distract herself with the current case, she sighed; her heart wasn't in it. She had admitted her love for a man for the first time in her life and now as she glanced around she wondered briefly, for how long this would go on. For how long she would feel impaired, damaged as though the motor ran but the car would never again get out of first gear because never again would she confess to love because as she had learnt that day. Love only gets you hurt.

A/N: To be Continued