A/N

This is a oneshot based on mine (MrLoonSalvatore) and ExquisiteElenaG's RP on twitter. Basically, Damon and Elena are human (long story) and have a daughter named Marvel, they made a deal with Klaus that they can raise her however they want, as long as he's not seen as the bad guy. So, in a sort of mini-revenge, Damon decides to treat Klaus as if he's Marvel's uncle, and puts him and Jeremy in charge of the boarding house, and Marvel, for the night so he and Elena can go out. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a PM!

Klaus Mikaelson frowned at the three year old and teenager at the kitchen table as he flipped through the channels on the big screen TV. "If they have so much money, why don't they hire a nanny?" The faint click click click of the remote continued as the young girl let out a high-pitched giggle.

Jeremy shook his head and glanced over at the hybrid. "Damon wants us to bond with her, even if it means just drawing pictures all night." The Original rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, the young human cutting him off. "And, no, we're not calling them and telling them they have to come home because you have a 'family emergency.'" Using air quotes, the human rolled his own eyes. "We all know Kol, Rebekah and Elijah can take care of themselves; even Marvel knows it."

The young girl nodded, her chocolate brown curls bouncing at the movement. "Uncle Kolly can use a baseball bat to hit the bad guys." She looked up at Jeremy, her ocean blue eyes shining. "And Auntie Bekah can yell at them. And Uncle 'Lijah is big and scary."

Klaus let out a low laugh. "Yes, Elijah can be scary. But I personally think I'm the scariest."

Jeremy nodded in silent agreement as Marvel shook her head, her curls bouncing again. "No, Uncle Klausy, you not scary at all." There was a moment of shocked silence before she continued. "You is nice to me, and you gonna buy me a pony when I'm biggerer." She hopped off the chair and grabbed her sheet of paper from the table, walking quickly to where the hybrid was on the couch and holding it up to him. "See? I drawed her. Her name is Pwincess."

The Original glanced up at the chuckling teenager still at the table before looking back at the stick-figure "pony" that the child had drawn. "That's not bad, Marvel," he supplied hesitantly. "But I bet you I can draw a better one."

"Uncle Jerbear can draw the bestest ponies, Uncle Klausy; you not draw one betterer than him."

Klaus narrowed his eyes, his gaze travelling to the aforementioned "Uncle Jerbear" before speaking. "Rubbish. Jeremy can only draw creepy monkeyman apes and emo hearts."

Jeremy's eyes narrowed in response. "They're better than your fairies."

"They're cherubs," Klaus growled. "Cupids. And my ponies are much better than yours." He nodded confidently. "Plus, I'm Marvel's favorite uncle."

The small girl looked between the two confusedly, not know what cherubs or cupid or monkeyman apes even were. Of course, Marvel's small frown went unnoticed as the argument began. "You're her favorite uncle?" Jeremy half-shouted. "How about "no"? You're not even technically her uncle; you're her god father. Stefan and I are her only real uncles."

The hybrid rolled his eyes in annoyance, shaking his head and standing. "I will buy her a horse when she's older, which Stefan will quickly do away with if I, or another someone like myself, is there to stop him. You, boy, are not in that small faction of people."

"That's the future, you won't get her a horse for at least seven years; Damon won't let you. I, on the other hand, get her things now."

Marvel looked back and forth as they argued, Klaus shouting that a pencil and paper aren't real gifts and Jeremy yelling back that gifts that haven't been given yet don't count either. Her small frown grew and transformed into a pout as the boys continued to shout, their voices getting louder. In a final attempt to direct the attention back to her, she began to cry. Jeremy and Klaus went silent immediately.

"What's wrong with her?" the Original asked, simply staring in confusion.

"She's upset, Mr. Ponies," was Jeremy's clipped reply. "She doesn't like it when people yell." He walked over and scooped her up, holding his niece close to his chest as her sobs slowly subsided. "We're sorry, Marvel, we didn't mean to yell."

After a few minutes, the toddler raised her head and looked between her two uncles. "I like you both. Both you is my favorite."

Klaus shook his head stubbornly. "You have to pick one, sweetheart."

Jeremy shook his own head in annoyance as Marvel's frown reappeared. "But I no want to pick. I want you both my favorites."

"Your mommy wanted both Damon and Stefan as her boyfriends, but how did that work out?" Klaus grumbled under his breath, raising his voice to speak cheerily. "It's alright, Love, I know it will always be me."

"Does that make you Stefan?" Jeremy asked, clearly amused. "Because I don't care if you let me go and pick him, I know you'll make the right choice in the end." He nodded smugly, hugging his giggling niece tightly as Klaus narrowed his eyes at them. "Let's go finish our pony drawings, okay?"

Marvel nodded eagerly and wiggled her way out of Jeremy's arms, sprinting back to the kitchen table as soon as her feet touched the ground, her voice floating back to them. "I care about you, Uncle Klausy, but it always be Uncle Jerbear."