Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! or any of the characters. That property rightfully belongs to it's owner.
Title: Got Ya!
Author: Karrissarella
Rating: T (for safety)
Genre: Humor
Summary: Orihara Izaya loses his resources. His phone isn't working and his computer has a virus. He's going insane without information. Slight OC! Izaya moments
"No...no...no." Izaya muttered to himself. He couldn't have forgot. There was no way he forgot to update his computer. He was sure he didn't download anything that could potentially hurt his computer – okay, so there that was one porno, but come on, he was a guy. A 23-year old man who was nearly hated by every person in Japan. He had to get off somehow.
He was staring at the undeniable blue screen of death. This was not happening. This was not happening to him. He rolled his chair over to his phone charger on the other side of the desk and pulled off his phone – hoping that technicians could make it here as fast as they could to fix his computer.
He slid to unlock the phone and was surprised when he didn't have a numerous amount of text messages, phone, or Facebook updates on his phone. They all were without the little red dot around the number. He opened his text message box and none of them were new, the recent only being last night. He tried to log onto the DOLLARS website on his phone but his phone said he didn't have any internet available but he did have service. It didn't make any sense.
He went to his phone messages button and noticed there were a few voicemails he didn't check. Normally, this didn't bother him. He never really did listen to every single voicemail he got each day – as you know, he was a very popular guy and all. He did however, take notice to what phone numbers he got in his voicemail and he usually always paid attention to his business calls so he was surprised when he found at least three 800 numbers that were mostly likely from his phone company. He pressed the button to listen to the voicemail and each time he pressed an unheard voicemail, his face went paler.
He was late on paying his phone. No...he hadn't paid his phone. That was impossible. He always gave Namie his bill to go send it out and today was Namie's day off. He stumbled back into his office chair, gripping his iPhone with one hand and the armchair with the other.
He sat straight up in his chair when he figured he would just call Masaomi and get him to do it for him. He heard he was in town today for a visit to Mikado and Anri. He moved to call the young teen before he realized – phone, not paid, not working. Can't call Masaomi.
"You're losing your touch already, Izaya." He told himself. He sighed heavily, figuring he was just going to have to find the kid himself or go visit Namie. He figured he'd do the latter first just in case there was some mishap and that she did indeed send his phone bill and this was all just a misunderstanding. He stood up from his chair and threw on his parka, making his way out of his apartment.
…
Namie opened the door, seeing Izaya. Moments later, she quickly shut it in his face.
Izaya frowned, pouting slightly. "Namie-san, open up."
"Fuck off," she responded, locking all the locks on her door.
"I only have a question, no need to get so uptight." He paused, "Oh, I know. You're menstruating, aren't you?" Izaya smirked when he heard the locks unclick and saw Namie's face for a slight second before he saw and felt her hand collide against his face, hard.
Namie pulled back her hand, shaking it as she had hit him hard. "Was that your question, you bastard?"
Izaya shook his head, "I was just making sure I did give you my phone bill last month, right?"
"No."
Izaya's jaw dropped slightly. She knew and didn't say anything about it? "Why didn't you tell me I hadn't then?" He asked. Namie shrugged, "I figured you had taken care of it yourself." She replied, "was that your question?"
Izaya nodded, "Yes, but -" the door had slammed in his face again.
…
Izaya was sulking back to his apartment as he did have appointments to meet with people but they were all pretty spaced out and he would have to wait and do nothing until those times. He wouldn't be able to lurk on any forum, any website, not even on any text messages.
He leaned back on his couch, leaning his head back to stare up at the ceiling. He had turned on the television but it was that time of day where everyone was either at school or work so all they had playing was a bunch of sitcom re-runs. It seemed like the clock was ticking as slow as ever.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Izaya-san. I'm here with those papers you wanted." He heard the familiar blonde on the other side of the door. He stood up from the couch, practically frolicking over to the door. Teasing the former gang member had become one of his favorite hobbies. "Coming~" he sang.
He opened the door to view the blonde below him. "Here," Kida shoved the manilla envelope into Izaya's chest and turned around to leave. "Bye Izaya-san."
Izaya placed a hand on Masaomi's shoulder. "Not so fast, Kida-kun." He smirked. Kida turned around, quirking an eyebrow. "What are you up to, Izaya-san?" He asked. Izaya had always found it amusing that no matter how terrible he was to this boy, Kida always addressed him properly.
"Ne, ne, why do you always assume I have something planned, Kida-kun?" He teased, staring down at him.
Kida frowned, "You always have something planned when it comes to me, Izaya-san." He replied.
This quirked Izaya's interest. He grinned, "why do you say that?" He asked, pulling Kida into his apartment and shutting the door. He wrapped an arm around Kida's shoulder, leading the two to his couches. Kida scoffed at the older man's actions but followed Izaya to the couch, none the less.
Kida turned to his superior. "One, the first time I had an encounter with you – my girlfriend's legs broke."
"But they aren't really-" Izaya started but was stopped when he saw Kida's finger up, motioning him to stop talking. Izaya waited patiently.
"Two!" Kida put up another finger in front of Izaya's face. "You nearly got my best friends killed." Izaya had opened his mouth to defend himself again but another finger was shoved in his face.
"And, three! The last time I was here we ended up with no clothes." Kida's honey-colored eyes met red ones. Izaya grinned, there it was again. That adult face Masaomi always wore when they were together.
Izaya moved forward, reaching over to cup Masaomi's chin. "We could repeat three again," he said mischievously. Kida smacked his hand away, glaring up at him. "Do you know how long it took me to convince Saki nothing happened?" Izaya rose an eyebrow, "I don't know why you keep it from her. She believes everything I say – she wouldn't be mad at you if I told her not to." He said, smirking.
Masaomi shook his head and moved to stand up from the couch. "No, Izaya-san. I'm going home now." He replied, turning to move to the door before he felt a hand on his wrist. His eyes widen when he saw that Izaya was on the ground, on his knees with his head bowed down.
"Masaomi. Please...don't leave me!" He begged, staring up at him with hopeful eyes. Masaomi was more than disturbed, he yanked his arm back. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He had never seen Izaya act so ridiculous – and he meant more ridiculous than normal.
Izaya had snapped. "I don't know anything, Masaomi! Do you know what it's like to be me and not know anything that's going on in the world!"
"I'll take a wild guess," Masaomi replied sarcastically.
"I forgot to pay my phone bill and my computer has gained a virus. I can't call the technicians because I have no phone to call with. Namie has the day off and there's nothing but re-runs on television. I even went to Ikebekuro just to pick on Shizu-chan but he was nowhere to be found! Simon-san said he had left for the weekend. Of all the weekends to be gone!" Izaya had rambled on.
Masaomi had grinned, and he crouched down to Izaya. "So, you're looking for me to let you have information. You probably want to know what Mikado posted on the DOLLARS forum, huh? Or what Saki said about you this morning? Or what Namie-san says about you on her days off?" He asked.
Izaya looked up at Masaomi hopefully, "you would tell me that?" Masaomi snorted, "No." He smirked, standing up again and right on cue, he felt Izaya grab his ankle as the dark-haired man was hunched over on the floor. "Please...Masaomi. Tell me anything. Just ANYTHING."
Kida laughed obnoxiously, "alright, alright! I'll tell you." Izaya's head snapped up, looking over at the younger boy. "Besides, this is too pathetic to watch." He chuckled softly. "Come on in, you guys!"
The door opened, and Izaya didn't know what to think. Namie, Saki, and Mikado were all standing at the door. Namie had this undeserved satisfaction on her face, Saki was giggling up a storm, and Mikado couldn't help but letting out a few chuckles himself.
Izaya blinked, "what's going on?"
Kida winked at Izaya, "tricked ya."
Izaya blinked some more, still unsure of what was going on. "What?" He asked. And, there was Kida's finger in his face again. "One!" Kida started.
"We replaced your phone with your old phone. Since it was the same as your last phone it still had all the same contacts in it and we forwarded all the recent messages so it looked like your phone now." Saki replied, smiling innocently.
"Two!" Kida's second finger was placed in the informant's face.
"I put a small virus on your computer, but it's one I can fix so don't worry about that." Mikado replied quietly.
"Tres!" Kida exclaimed loudly, "this was my part!" He grinned. "I told Shizu-chan that he'd be looking for you today so I told him to go out on the town, visit his family or something because nothing would upset you more than not knowing where to find him!" He said, twirling around. "And, quatro mi senorita~!" He sang, looking back at Namie.
Namie pulled Izaya's cell phone from her pocket. "Your real phone is right here. I took it when you went out last night and clocked out early." She said nonchalantly.
Izaya quickly got to his feet and ran over to Namie. "Give me that!" He replied, looking over to snatch it before Namie threw it over his head and over to Mikado. Mikado laughed, catching it as he saw Izaya coming after him now. "Masaomi!" He called and threw it over to the blonde.
Masaomi backed up as Mikado threw it hard, "Oh, hope I don't drop it, Izaya-san!" He teased before catching it. "Saki!"
Saki fumbled it in her hands, smiling softly before handing it back to Izaya. "We got you good, Izaya-san." She said softly.
Izaya was dumbfounded. He didn't know how he let this happen. He busted out into laughter, holding his sides as the rest of the group just exchanged looks with one another. He calmed down, standing up straight, smirking. "Oh, well, this revenge shall be fun, ne?" He grinned.
A/N: I am thinking about making a sequel/sidefic for Izaya's revenge but I do hope you liked this little bit! I enjoyed writing it! R&R!