(The following is loosely based upon the boondocks comic strip from the 12th of July 1999)
Huey Freeman was sitting on his bed, reading a satirical socially critical novel, when Riley Freeman walked into the room.
"Hey Huey. Mind if I use your Computer real quick." Riley , the younger of the two freeman brothers asked nonchalantely.
"I do mind and so would granddad if I asked him. You lost your computer privileges for two weeks out of stupidity and I'm not gonna reward stupidity."
Answered Huey, the older freeman brother matter-of-factly, much to the annoyance of his little brother.
"Man . you're obscuring the facts. I wasn't looking up..."
Before Riley could finish his sentence, Huey interrupted him.
"Let me stop you right there. You are about to tell me that you didn't look up porn.
However , I sure as all hell could have sworn to have seen a group of naked woman getting penetrated analy as well as vaginally.
In fact, that was the entire content of the video you were watching." Explained Huey drily.
"That wasn't porn. That was the new Lil SMG music video promoting his new single "Gucci Bang". It was artistic expression" Defended Riley.
"Listen, even if it was marketed as an educational video for sex ed, it still would be nothing more than a porn tape.
You should have known better than to watch it without locking the door.
You know that grandpa is very serious about us not watching porn in particular, even though I'm certain he wanted to know the videos URL, not to block the website in its entirety.
The point is that it is still his house and his rules. If you want to break them I suggest doing it without him knowing.
Anyway what did you want to use the computer for ?" Asked Huey
"Just putting some new music on my mp3 player, since grandpa took away my smartphone for half a month." Replied Riley.
"He put it away because he caught you watching porn on that too." Added Huey patiently.
"Naw man, that wasn't porn either, that was just the new Kanye release " Gold Pussy Paradise of my Ego"." Pouted Riley
"Whatever you say. So, do you want me to put some new music on your mp3 player or what ?" Asked Huey.
"Just let me plug it in and I'll be done in less than 10 minutes." Pleaded Riley.
"No, either you give me the mp3 player and I do it or you ain't getting anything. I want you to learn from this .
Abuse your power and you lose all responsibility." Explained Huey
Riley was still pouting. He thought about this proposal and hesitantly placed his Mp3 player on the computer desk, but left his hand resting on it.
"Alright. God, why'd ya need to be such a tight ass about it ? I give you my Mp3 player to put the new "Kids see ghost" album on there. Nothing more nothing less.
But don't look at the other folders." He said with an unwavering sternness in his eyes.
" You do realize that I need to get access to your folders to copy the album into the right directory ?" Inquired Huey looking mellow as allways.
"Ok" Said Riley trying to desperately find an alternative to this option. He still hadn't moved his hand from the mp3 player.
"How about you do the clicking with your eyes closed and i guide you with my voice ?" Riley proposed much to Hueys confusion and irritation.
"Ok. That's a definite no from me. How about you tell me what it is I'm not supposed to see and you stop your bullshit so that i can just put that album on your player and you can stop bothering me.
What are you embarrassed about ?" Huey asked a bit annoyed but patiently.
Riley's hand still rested on his device.
"None o' your business, n###ah" Said Riley in a resistant tone as he lifted his mp3 player from the table and turned his back to Huey.
"A'ight, if that's the case then I guess you don't want any new music on the go." Said Huey as he turned his attention back to the book.
Riley peeked over his right shoulder.
"Come on , don't be a bitch man. I promised Cindy to meet her in half an hour. I don't have time for that shit." Bargoned Riley.
"Not my problem." Answered Huey drily.
Riley didn't move. Then he took a deep breath and then turned around again to face his big brother who seemed to no longer take notice of him.
"Alright you win." Riley said as he tossed his mp3 player to Huey who caught it midair with his left hand.
"But don't you fucking think about snitching." Huey wasn't sure, but he could swear that there was a hint of building up tears in Riley's voice.
"I'm not that kind of person, and you know that." Said Huey as he got up from his bed and went over to the computer.
After approximately thirty seconds the machine had booted up.
Huey plugged Riley's player into the USB port and a few seconds later the contents of it were displayed.
"I guess I know now why you weren't to keen on me or anyone else for that matter seeing this. It's not what I had expected you'd listen to." Said Huey in mild surprise.
Riley just scoffed.
"I mean the list starts normal, with the usual suspects. Gangstalicious, Thugnificent,Kendrick Lamar, Kanye, Eminem, Kyle...but then, Les Miserables,Rent, In the Heights,Hamilton, Avenue Q...these are all musicals." Huey said
"Man just shut the fuck up and put the new album on there." Said Riley in a defeated tone of voice.
"I mean these aren't bad. It's just I never would have thought you'd listen to musicals." Added Huey.
"N####h that's gay." Muttered Riley.
"Wait, is that the real reason you're embarrassed about having these on your player." Investigated Huey.
"Yes, if you really must know 'bout it. That's the fucking problem, musicals are gay." Riley said.
"I thought you already got over that after the Gangstalicious incident. You learned that just because you listen to something a gay dude wrote that don't make you gay." Argued Huey.
"This is different. Everybody knows that Musicals are what gay dudes listen to. Oh and Gangstalicious still isn't gay, he told me so" Rebuddled Riley stoicly.
"Tom listens to musicals and he ain't gay." Peried Huey.
"Tom ain't normal, he's the whitest black dude on this planet, he doesn't count." Said Riley as if he was teaching Huey about biology.
"Ok, so you say that only gay man listen to musicals. Yet you obviously do so too. What should that tell you?" Asked Huey with a somewhat depleted tone of voice.
He knew that this was going to be a long and probably pointless discussion. Yet he knew that he had to try to get Riley to understand basic logic.
"It tells me that I'm a homo because I listen to this stuff." Said Riley in a voice that seemed to border on tears.
"First of all you have a crush on Cindy, that's not really a thing gay men have.
Second of all, here's a doozie. What do Eminem, Barack Obama, Jay Z., Kanye West and Tom Hanks have in common ?" Asked Huey.
" They all rich?" Answered Riley with more of a question.
"Ugh, they are all straight man who loved Hamilton. Therefore your dumb ass theory is nonsense and you're not gay. At least as far as I can judge." Reasoned Huey to his little brother.
"Really. Damn that makes some sense I guess." Said Riley much to Huey's surprise.
"You actually learned something from what I just said ?" Inquired Huey carefully as not to be too disappointed ,should his little brother be bullshitting him.
"Yeah man. I mean musicals are still gay ass all hell and imma beat cho ass if you tell anyone that I listen to them." Added Riley.
"Three things. First, you aren't as strong as me, so you ain't gonna beat my ass. Second why would I tell anybody? Do i look like an idiot.
I will use it as blackmail, to keep you from doing really stupid shit. Third, where did you get the albums? How did you become aware of them ? Neither me nor grandpa are avid musical fans."
Riley gulped. "Err, I torrented them."
Huey sighed, and looked proofingly into his brothers eyes.
"None of the computers in the house have been available to you and within the last three months there wasn't any trace of the download in the local files, or the browser history,
which you have a tendency to forget to delete, ergo you are lying your ass off. I mean you don't have to tell me i can always guess." Said Huey.
Riley snickered " Alright ya right about me not using any of the computers in tha house but you'll never guess where I got that stuff from. " Said Riley sounding self assured.
"You got it from Tom, while visiting Jazmine, which you have been doing for the last five weeks with regularity. You try to keep it a secret since you two aren't always doing the most gangster things when you meet up." Concluded Huey much to Riley's horror.
"Were you stalking me. If you snitch to anybody I swear n####h I will make a raft out of your scalp ." Said Riley in a mix of fuming anger and upsettness as he suddenly ran up to Huey with his fists clenched.
Huey was still sitting in the computer chair but was not unprepared. He stopped Riley's fist with the palm of his hand, held a tight grip on it. Then he twisted the fist slowly but non damaging such as to keep Riley in a lock.
"Yo, calm the fuck down. I'm not letting go until you honestly promise to me that you won't attack me again." Implored Huey.
"Man you an asshole bitch you no that, spying on your little bro like some kind of bitch ass cop." Whined Riley.
"I wasn't spying. The Dubois live close by and i saw you every now and then being there while passing by. Plus Jazmine told me." Huey said, not loosening his hold.
"She said what? Oh that goddamn snitch !" Rumbled Riley.
Just then Robert Freeman,the kid's grandfather, stuck his head through the door.
"Will you two ungrateful little monsters just shut the fuck up. I'm trying to video chat with a lovely lady from brazil. But I can't concentrate on her because of your yelling."
"Sorry granddad, Rilley is just having one of his tirades about Gangstalicious still not being gay and how dare I claim such shit." Lied Huey.
"I don't care why, I only care about how loud it is. You two are without a doubt too god damn loud. So keep quiet or my belt will make you scream for better reasons." Warned Robert and then proceeded to leave again.
Riley had stopped resisting.
"I'm cool now you can let me go." He requested while desperately trying to move again.
"A'ight, but you try anything funny and i got you in a hold again." Warned Huey without a hint of lightheartedness.
Huey let go of Risley's wrist, which Rilley rubbed in pain.
"Man, that hurt. Imma have a word with Jazmine " Said Riley , still pouting.
"You are not gonna do any such thing. She didn't tell anyone but me.
She only told me after I told her how much of a pain in the ass you can sometimes be. She told me that you can be and I quote"
Huey cleared his throat " kinda cute and loveable , end quote."
Huey said with just an ever so slight hint of a grin that came and went within the fraction of a millisecond.
"Pause." Said Riley.
"I'm not gonna play your stupid no homo game" Replied Huey .
"It ain't no game. What you just said was super gay and you know it. and quoting things doesn't excuse you from it either." Explained Riley.
"No homo, if it makes you listen to what i have to say. Fuck, you can be so unbelievably stubborn.
Anyway I only wanted to tell you that i am not gonna make fun of you for liking what you like.
I accept and to an extend even welcome this side of you as a pleasant change of pace. It's good to know that you're not just about that gangster
stuff, but also engaging in alternative music ventures and although he isn't really black, Lin Manuel Miranda was influenced by black artists for his musical.
Plus he cast a few black man as founding fathers, which even though not historically accurate, is still a testimony to the ever-changing and evolving times in which we live in."
Riley was speechless.
"I ...er ...never thought about that " He stammered.
"Oh, and I'm also proud of you for supporting the cause of the black woman by listening to Beyoncé as well as Lauren Hill."
Once again Riley could have sworn that there was a hint of Schadenfreude in Huey's voice.
"Ok, you see that one I can explain, because I never listened to that. Jazmin just put it on there so that I could give it a try." Riley explained.
"Yeah, no. None of the Dubois listen to Beyonce. Lauren Hill, perhaps. But you don't need to worry about it anyway, since I'm not gonna tell anyone about it. Imma just keep it as blackmail and as a reminder of your sensitive side.
That includes me knowing that you asked Jazmine to teach you a few dance moves which you wanted to use to do a Micheal Jackson like thing for Cindy to impress her.
She taught you a move or two
and told me you are an avid learner. Ballet is a demanding art,I give you kudos for trying" Explained Huey
Riley started to blush.
"What did that snitch not tell you?"
"Nothing else. Once again, she only confided in me." Explained Huey
"I'm honestly kind of happy, even though my face won't show it , to know my little brother a bit better. You are, just like many other young black kids, full of potential.
You have always been, but now you show a bit of variety in your interests beyond just artificial gangster personas on TV.
You already showed that you are good at drawing before.
Now you discover a few new horizons , you may have been to scared to previously explore. Even though it's in your way.
That's , in my opinion, the most gangster thing you've done so far.
There was a moment of complete silence between the two boys, which was only interrupted by Robert hollering at his computer downstairs.
" So, did you actually enjoy the music?" Asked Huey carefully.
"I mean... is not bad. Some of it is dope. Not all of it though. Some of it is some ol' bullshit." Riley clarified.
"There's that one track, wit tha british n####h. He was talking 'bout how he was snitching on some other brits. That was kinda cool." He continued.
" He was not just gonna get knocked down, without getting the fuck up again. That dude sounded gangster."
" That would be Hercules Mulligan" Said Huey.
"Yeah. and then there was this Hoe rapping about how she is like jealous of her sister and shit." Pondered Rilley.
"Angelica Schuyler." Responded Huey.
"Yeah..." Said Riley and thought about what had just transpired over the last few minutes.
"Huey ?" He looked at his big brother with a probing face.
"What is it?" Answered his big brother.
"It's just. Thanks for ..." Riley hesitated.
"...thanks for not being an asshole about it... and ..." He took a deep breath.
"and thanks for being a great big brother..." It almost sounded like he was done but then out of habit he added. "No Homo."
Huey looked at his little brother with the hint of a smile so subtle that it was barely noticeable.
"Thanks, here's your player." Huey said as he tossed Riley his mp3 player."
"Thanks big bro." Said Riley with a smile.
Another moment of silence passed.
"Anyway, i gotta impress a bitch." Said Riley as he turned and moonwalked out of the room.
"Send Cindy my best regards." Said Huey offhandedly as he sat back down on his bed and returned to his book.
THE END