"Kel?" I heard nothing, so I knocked a bit more forcefully on the connecting door. "Kel? Are you there?" She had said that she would be able to help with the logistics for the Own after dinner. But dinner had come and gone; it was now eight o'clock. Something was wrong. Kel doesn't just disappear without providing an explanation. Cautiously, I opened the door. As the hinges finished squeaking, I peaked in and saw her shoot up from what must have been an afternoon nap. Startled, she had to catch her breath before she spoke.
"Oh...wow..I must have fallen asleep. Raoul? I'm so sorry I'm late. I'm coming right now." I had to smirk. She was so flustered. But it was a bit worrisome at the same time. By now, whenever she made a mistake, I had become accustomed to seeing her emotionless Yamani face with a hint of determination underneath to do better next time. To be honest, I thought it would be a good opportunity to discuss that habit of hers.
When she entered my room, I could tell she was preoccupied. Although the emotionless mask was plastered on her face, it wasn't difficult to see there was something under the surface. Logistics were not going to be completed tonight but that didn't matter.
"Kel, sit." I gestured to the window sill. There was room enough for both of us in the alcove created by the bay window to sit comfortably. Mithros, I hope she's dealing with something that isn't over my head. Impatient, Jump tugged at the leg of my breeches as I walked to sit next to Kel.
"Kel, I'm not upset with you for falling asleep. None of us in the Own get enough between our work and the Progress." At least I got a weak smile from that remark. "But what worries me is how you hide your feelings so often. That habit might be useful when confronting an enemy or playing a card game, but to use it all the time..." Mithros, Raoul, just spit it out. "Are you feeling ok? Honestly, how are you?"
Silence. Jump was perched between us on the window sill with his head between his paws. Barely audible was Kel's controlled breathing. She was collecting herself. I was beginning to worry until she replied, "I don't know." Perhaps my sigh of relief that followed was apparent, but that didn't bother me. "I don't know," was a more promising answer than, for instance- I'm pregnant. Not like Kel would do something that stupid while trying to earn her shield. I always knew she was not the type to make downright ridiculous decisions, but I knew about her relationship with Cleon. Thankfully, I could help her sort through "I don't know."
Thwack. The smack of Jump's tail against my arm brought me out of my thoughts. Kel was trying to regain her composure again, but still seemed as unsettled as before. I wasn't sure if I had ever seen her this openly emotional. Still fighting for control, she curled her legs up next to her. "It must sound so silly-" I had to interrupt. Scooting a little closer to her, I interjected, "No. Whatever's bothering you is important, Kel." Be more encouraging. "Take all the time you need. Think it out."
I couldn't tell you how long the silence was. We sat for an age before I heard a small voice tell me, "Not one thing in particular, but all together, everything. Scanra, the Progress, the Ordeal...it's so much to muddle through." I definitely heard a sniffle. As I wrapped an arm around Kel, I felt as if I had been here before...yes, I had been here before. More sniffles. Jump crawls in between us and I pull Kel into a bear hug. Goddess, have I ever seen her cry? The silence, except for the crickets outside, is deafening until Kel pulls away and finds a handkerchief. The atmosphere is heavy despite the fact that the Yamani facade has been abandoned.
"Story time?," I offer, hoping to lighten the mood and ease the situation. Kel nods and leans back against the wall to look out the window.
Slam! My door flew open and closed again. I jumped up from my desk. Who would have the nerve to...and then I saw the hair. Red. Alan hadn't been this upset since his fun ins with Ralon and the time we pestered him too much about his aversion to swimming. Everyone knew Alan had a temper, but he was generally good natured.
Suddenly, the red fireball was clinging to me like a barnacle. Bewildered, I listened as Alan told me about all the extra Midwinter banquet duties, excessive assignments for classes, and the dances they were expected to learn as a part of their class on etiquette. "Raoul, I don't think I'll ever finish it all!" Only when he had exhausted himself an flopped onto the floor to sit did I have a chance to speak. Kneeling down, I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be ok. You always managed before and it won't be any different now. Get your algebra and reading- I can help you with those. Midwinter isn't as awful as you think it is- you won't be up nearly as late as the squires. And perhaps I can help you with that dancing nonsense." After a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, Alan scampered off to get his books. Naturally, everything was finished (or almost finished) as usual and I had two very bruised feet.
Kel's smiling now, probably thinking of how awkward and funny the whole situation must have been. Raoul, with the infamous dislike of banquets and balls, helping Alanna learn how to dance. By now, I've acquired a small audience of sparrows. However, I want to do one more thing; I know Kel's prone to thinking. Not that thinking is a bad thing but thinking too much never helps either. Inwardly, I'm thanking George and Alanna for the trick I'm about to pull, although I intend to be perfectly honest with Kel. "You're exhausted. We'll talk some more in the morning." I've moved to a pitcher of fruit juice and proceed to pour two cups. I grab a tiny white package that looks like a tea bag out of a desk drawer and pour the sugar like contents into one of the cups. Handing the drugged cup to Kel, I tell her to drink. "Now get to bed. You'll be sound asleep in ten minutes."
Author's Notes: Whew! First plot bunny I've bothered to write out and post. I was rereading Squire and listening to Switchfoot's Concrete Girl. And what resulted was a plot bunny that I had to write down. Thanks for reading.