A/N: Ah, it's that time of year. Snow, hot chocolate, baking, fun... ;)
Since I'm working on my other story Surprise Destination at the moment, I decided to write this as well...
It just popped up in my head and most of this actually relates to what I'm going through personally. I've been having a rough year and I'm going to start seeing someone soon to help me with my personal issues, but right now I wanted to kind of write them out instead so that I can get some emotions released anyway.
NOTE: I might not continue this, so maybe review and tell me your thoughts? Even if you just need to talk to someone about things going on in your life, I'm here. Don't hesitate to contact me.
Oh and a late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all. (:
Disclaimer: The Vampire Diaries belongs to the CW and L.J. Smith. I do not own any of the characters mentioned.
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Holiday Insomniac
Chapter 1:
Friday, December 20
Bold red numbers glowed in the room of Elena Gilbert, reminding her it was still way too early to be awake. At the back of her mind she already knew she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, but she kept trying anyway, in hopes that her brain would shut down and shut up so she could have some peace. It seemed that during the past month she could no longer get enough sleep to make it through most days. No matter how early she went to bed she would wake up every night, attaining only three hours of sleep. Then she'd be stuck trying to fall back asleep to no prevail, and in result sleep straight through her alarm in the morning and be late for class. On top of that, when she actually had enough strength to drag herself out of bed and go to school, it was then she'd finally fall asleep - in class. No reason struck her mind as to why it started happening, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that Christmas was nearing.
She glanced back at the clock. 5:30 AM. School was in another three hours. Great.
Elena tossed from one side to another, making a final attempt at finding a comfortable position to relax. Incoherent curses were muttered under her breath and frustrated huffs slipped past her lips when she finally gave up trying, and she sat up with a groan and threw her feet out from under the covers, letting them dangle over the edge of the bed. Her hands were clammy as she raked them through her hair and she looked around the room, feeling the cool air start to crawl over her uncovered skin. Small figures and silhouettes of her furniture appeared slowly to her human eyes, and the light from the full moon shining down through her window casted shadows over the floorboards that seemed to creep closer and closer, as if to pull her in and drag her away from the world she knew.
Her stomach rumbled loudly in the dead silence of the room, efficiently snapping her out of her reverie and shouting requests of things she suddenly craved. It sent her down to the kitchen where she got out a mug, some milk, chocolate mix and marshmallows, and then proceeded in making hot chocolate. It was a crazy idea - and unhealthy for that matter - but it was something her dad always did for her during the winter season if she couldn't sleep. And right now she felt the need to be as close to her parents as she possibly could.
The ding of the microwave sounded a lot louder at 6 AM, Elena realized, as she moved around to mix everything together in her mug. She hoped Jeremy wouldn't wake up before she got a chance to climb back into bed. He had no idea she'd been having trouble sleeping, and she planned on keeping it secret.
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Jeremy grumbled as he went through his usual morning routine: get out of bed, put clothes on, brush teeth, eat if you have time, run out the door, and hurry to school because you're possibly going to be late. He loathed mornings. And school. The two put together was literally Hell. Who would actually enjoy getting up at 6:30 AM so you could be stuck in a prison for six hours? Certainly not him.
He pulled a pair of jeans on, half-tripping, and grabbed a simple white t-shirt off the floor before he made his way down the stairs and to the kitchen. Surprise struck him when he turned the lightswitch on and saw his sister sitting by the island, brown hair fanned out over the counter and arm stretched forward as a makeshift pillow to lay her head on. From the small noises she was making as well, clearly, she was still asleep.
"Elena?" He pulled his shirt over his head and shuffled around to see her face. What looked like chocolate milk was smeared over her upper lip, and a thin white line went from the corner of her mouth and down the side of her cheek. Jeremy laughed. "Elena, wake up." He shoved her slightly and watched her head slip from the support of her arm, effectively jolting her out of her slumber as she hit the counter. "Well good morning sunshine," he said, putting two slices of bread in the toaster. "What're you doing down here?"
Elena sat up slowly, her bones screaming in protest from being in an unnatural position all night, and she rubbed her eyes a few times as she glanced around the lit room. "Uh..." she mumbled, voice heavy with sleep. "I-, I just wanted a snack. Guess I fell asleep before I got a chance to climb back in bed."
Jeremy looked at her as he pulled out some butter and jam from the fridge. "You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah!" she lied easily and put on her best fake smile. "Yeah I'm fine, don't worry."
He continued to stare as the toast popped up, and Elena could see the gears shifting in his mind as he debated whether or not he should believe her. "Alright," he smiled back and quickly spread the butter and jam on his toast. Then he walked around the island to peck his sister's cheek. "You know you should probably hurry up," he told her, shoving the bread in his mouth as he grabbed his bag and headed down the hall towards the front door. "School starts in thirty minutes!"
"What?" Elena's eyes widened in alarm and she frantically jumped off the stool, nearly losing her balance in the midst of the action. A single piece of semi-warm toasted bread was still in the toaster and she grabbed it, thankful that Jeremy wasn't a greedy pig that ate all the food. As she rounded the corner of the island in her rush against time she hit her hip. "Ow!" she hissed, grabbing her side with her hand. The pain made her feel like she had been stabbed with a damn screwdriver.
Stumbling and chewing on dry bread, she made it up to her bedroom; but now the problem was finding clothes to wear. There was the choice of jeans with a blouse, jeans with a baggy sweater, baggy pants with a tight sweater... So many possibilites yet so little time. Without a second glance at her closet she decided to skip getting dressed altogether. Instead she picked up her brush from her dresser and pulled it through her hair before she tied it in a rather clumsy-looking bun. "I guess I'm going to school in my pajamas today." She looked down at herself, sighing. "Perfect."
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"Can you believe Christmas is only five days away? Like, I already know some of the presents I'm getting but I'm still so excited! I'm gonna call Bonnie and ask her to come hang out with us later and then we can discuss plans over the break and-..."
Caroline's bubbly voice drifted to the back of Elena's mind as she sat hunched over in class with her head propped up in her hand and music blasting in her ears. Her brown eyes were half-closed as she pretended to listen to whatever the teacher was babbling on about, and with the gloomy winter weather that darkened the classroom, sleep would soon overcome her. This was only two classes into the day.
"Elena," Caroline whispered, "come on are you sleeping or something?"
She was tapped from behind but she ignored it, instead letting out a sigh that was meant to tell Caroline to back off when she had the chance. A tired and cranky Elena was someone no one needed to deal with. Class ended in forty minutes thankfully, but by the looks of the teacher, Mr. Johnson, he had no intentions to stop talking. She had no idea what he was even going on about. So what the hell? Elena thought and shrugged to herself, turning the music up a notch on her iPod and letting her eyes close for a few seconds. Little did she know those seconds were all she needed to allow sleep to take over.
"Miss Gilbert?" Her name reached her ears through the dreamy haze she was held in, but her head felt too heavy and her eyes were locked shut, making any kind of response nearly impossible. "Miss Gilbert." She heard her name once more, this time more stern, and she managed to lift her head off the desk and look towards the front of the room, where a very impatient-looking teacher stood with a frown upon his aging face. "If sleep is your top priority in this class then I suggest you leave," he said, pointing to the door.
Elena glanced at her surroundings and swallowed. She wanted to leave more than anything, but it would raise suspicion from a certain blonde vampire if she simply ran out unexpectedly. "I-I'm fine," she replied meekly and tugged the left earphone from her ear. "I'll stay."
The fifty-something-year-old teacher shot her a glare as a first warning before he continued his discussion about expectations in the New Year. It took nearly the whole class before he shut up and handed out a multiple choice worksheet for students to complete by the time the bell rang. Elena however, did not finish her paper, and was called on to stay behind after class.
Caroline passed her on the way out and told her she'd meet her by her locker when she was done with whatever the teacher wanted. Elena nodded weakly in response and approached Mr. Johnson's desk as the classroom door closed behind her friend. "Can you explain to me why you haven't completed your worksheet?" Mr. Johnson asked. He entwined his fingers in his lap and stared waitingly. "This is strange behavior coming from you. I expected more."
"I um..." The girl barely had enough strength to keep her eyes open, let alone stand and explain why she couldn't finish a stupid paper.
"Miss Gilbert are you feeling okay?"
She knew she was swaying on her feet. Everything felt fuzzy and distant, and her sight was dimmed around the edges. But it was nothing to worry about. At least that's what she was telling herself.
"I'm fine," she said and brushed a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. "Sorry about the paper... I'm just having an off day."
"Hm," the man mumbled, his thumb and index finger pressed to his chin. "You've been having quite a few of those lately." He leaned forward in his chair. "Is there something going on that you'd like to talk about?"
"No." Elena immediately shook her head. Mr. Johnson raised a brow.
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yes. Can I go now?"
He sighed and gestured his hands towards the door. "As you wish."
She went straight for her locker, and as expected Caroline stood there leaning against it with a look of annoyance on her face. "What took you so long?" she demanded, moving out of the way so Elena could open the thin metal door.
"Don't worry about it," Elena said. "Let's just get the rest of the day over with." A glance at her schedule told her she had three more classes before she'd be able to leave.
"Well fine," Caroline grumbled. "Now come on," she held out her arm invitingly, "Bonnie's meeting you in history and then I'll see you both at lunch. Okay?"
The two girls linked arms and walked down the halls towards Mr. Saltzman's classroom. Elena was glad her friend hadn't noticed she'd been leaning on her the whole way for support. At least her vision wasn't so cloudy anymore.
Survive these last few classes. Go home. Sleep.
It was and had been her plan all month. Going to school and surviving on three hours of sleep tops was becoming increasingly difficult the more days that went by. Even on the weekends she was tired all day, continuously assuring and reassuring everyone she was perfectly fine. Sooner or later they would all notice something was wrong, so this Christmas break was the time to get her shit under control. Thankfully Ric offered to cook dinner tonight so she'd be able to relax for a few hours before they'd eat. After that he usually went to the Grill to see Damon or sat on the couch with Jeremy for the rest of the night drinking scotch or playing X-Box. That would give Elena a free pass to go to bed early.
Damon.
His name caught her attention suddenly and she wondered if he was home. If he wasn't then maybe she'd be able to sneak in and sleep at the boarding house for a few hours without either of the brothers knowing. Besides... Damon's bed was really comfortable. Perhaps so comfortable that it would help her get more than three hours of sleep. But what if Stefan found her there? He'd call Damon and then questions would be asked. "Are you okay? Is something wrong? What's going on? Why were you in Damon's bed?" Or in Damon's case: "What were you doing in my bed? Were you dreaming about me, or maybe waiting for me? My, my, Elena I thought I'd never see the day."
She could already see that hundred-dollar smirk coming.
"Elena?"
Bonnie was poking her arm with a pencil and Elena felt the urge to snatch it from her hand and snap it in half. "What is it Bonnie?" she asked, irritated.
"I asked you if you've figured question eleven out."
Elena looked down at her desk. An open book and a blank paper stared back. "No. I haven't," she answered curtly.
"Oh," Bonnie said. "Okay. Well hey, I gotta leave early for an appointment at the dentist. See you later, alright?" She smiled as she gathered her things and shuffled to the front of the room, handing a note to Alaric before she waved one last time on her way out.
Two more classes, Elena reminded herself. Two more and then you're free.
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Heavy snow drifted down to the streets of Mystic Falls, covering the previously fallen flakes in a new white sheet. The temperature had dropped a whole fifteen degrees since morning and weather reports warned to stay inside, for extended exposure to the cold could result in frost bite or hypothermia. Damon Salvatore couldn't care less what the freaking news said. He was a vampire after all, and the cold didn't exactly affect him as it would a human. He had nothing better to do anyway, he'd already been to the Grill, so what was the harm in going for a nice afternoon walk? He planned to meet dear Elena after school as a surprise, and ask her what sort of plans she had for break. Maybe setting up a Christmas dinner with everyone? Damon hadn't been to a real one in decades.
He wandered around in his leather jacket and dark-wash jeans, along with the usual button-down shirt. And for once he had nothing on his mind. He was simply enjoying his surroundings, taking in the way the trees glistened even in the ugly gray weather and the ground looked crystalline. His ears perked up as he crouched and drew a face in the snow. Kids from the highschool shouted and laughed, some of them gathering snow so they could throw it at their friends and then shriek and yell when they were thrown back at. But the only person he was really focused on was Elena. He rocognized her heartbeat in seconds; it was strangely slower. Odd.
He was at the school before she even got ten steps out the door and he leaned himself against the cool metal of her car with his arms crossed over his chiseled chest. Glacier-blue eyes watched her intently as she trudged through the snow and fumbled for her car keys, huffing in annoyance when she dropped them and growled when she couldn't pick them up through her knitted mittens.
He nearly laughed at what she was wearing though: white and pink striped pants, black boots, a long black coat, a matching set of white mittens and a beanie. She looked kind of... cute.
"Having some trouble there?" he called out to her, his trademark smirk painted across his forever-young face. He expected her to look up at him with a scowl in her eyes and push him aside so she could toss him a few insults about his obsession with her, and then drive away leaving him bewildered yet incredibly aroused. Puzzlement crossed his features when she didn't respond at all to him; only ignored his presence completely before she yanked off her left mitten to bend down and grab her keys from the snow. "Elena?" he said her name again, this time softer.
"Finally," she muttered under her breath when she got ahold of the slippery keys. Today was Friday. School was over for two whole weeks. She could do whatever the hell she wanted. A momentary thought made her wonder how everyone would react if she took off out of nowhere without a soul knowing about it. It appealed to her that she could have time to herself and clear her mind without someone constantly up her ass asking if she was okay. Honestly she was just as confused about her inability to sleep peacefully as anyone else would be.
A hand suddenly laid itself upon her shoulder and she yelped, stumbling back a few steps and slipping unceremoniously on a patch of ice. It sent her falling backwards with her arms flailing in the air, but of course Damon caught her around the waist at the last second and held her up.
"Jeez Elena, are you trying to get a concussion?"
She looked up to the face of her savior, her breath catching in her throat when she was met with those sparkling blue eyes she had been thinking about earlier. She felt but couldn't hear the low rumbles of his voice over the loud music in her ears. He gazed upon her with concern in his eyes, set ablaze almost startlingly. When she was set back on her feet she pulled out her earphones and shoved them in her bag, sniffling as her nose began running. "Hey," she said.
"Hey?" he repeated, his eyebrows shooting up to his forehead. "Are you okay?"
She scoffed and yet smiled, answering yet again the same question she'd been asked numerous times already. "I'm fine Damon. Don't worry about it." Her hand shook as she reached to place her key in the car door lock and Damon stepped forward, placing his hand over hers.
"Come on..." he said softly. "Are you sure everything's fine? You look tired as hell." Being this close to her made him realize just how tired she really did look. Her face seemed thinner and her eyes didn't have the usual spark of life, and the dark circles that hung beneath them brought a sense of alarm to Damon's mind.
Elena's laugh snapped him back to their conversation and he leaned closer, smiling when he could hear her pulse quicken as she became aware of just how close he was getting. "I'm fine," she breathed, her eyes dancing between his lips and baby blues.
"Well be careful," he told her. "And go home. It's cold out here and I don't want my little human to get sick before Christmas."
"I'm not your little human," she shot back with an eye-roll and shook his hand off. He watched as she unlocked the car and opened the door, his lips twitching in amusement when she didn't get in, only stood there with a hand on her hip while she bit her lip in a rather inviting way.
"You certainly act like it," Damon muttered, his eyes darting different directions in feigned innocence.
Elena whipped her head around and opened her mouth just as her vision went blurry and her head started throbbing. Her subconscience yelled at her to tell Damon she couldn't sleep at night but she didn't listen. What could he do? Sing her a lullaby? Even if she actually fell asleep she'd still wake up three or four hours later if she was lucky. "I need to go," she stated simply, slowly folding herself into her car. She seriously wondered if she'd even be able to drive. Her eyelids felt so heavy it was like attaching and detaching a velcro jacket every time she blinked.
"Scoot over and I'll drive," Damon offered with a smile. "I walked-, well sped here anyway so it's no big deal. Plus I'm a way better driver."
"Hey!"
"Honey I've been around a lot longer than you, I know how to drive in all weather conditions." He knew he won her over. She set her lips in a tight line and climbed over the center console of the car to the passenger's seat, then crossed her arms in light irritation.
He didn't miss the amusement in her eyes.
"Are you getting in or what?" she asked, letting the corner of her mouth curl in a smirk.
Damon chuckled, replying in an exaggerated high-pitched voice, "Coming, dear!"
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When they reached the Gilbert residence, Elena thanked Damon briskly and hurried to get inside. She barely managed to stay awake on the way there. Her mind was a one-word track chanting "bed" over and over again, louder each step she took. That wonderful, soft, heavenly escape from reality was just up the stairs. And she had the whole afternoon to bask in it. The thought of it was so distracting she was tripping over her own two feet trying to get her soggy boots off, and the moment she finally walked into her bedroom it was like she was seeing a million dollars lying on those covers. Two strides and Elena was across the room, leaping at the bed like her life depended on it. She landed with a satisfying "hmph", and she closed her eyes gratefully, a very genuine smile flitting across her face.
For a minute or two she was floating on a cloud, the air calm as it wrapped itself around her in a warm blanket. And then suddenly she was falling. The rush sent her limbs flying as she jolted up from the bed in a gasp, her brown eyes wide and terrified as they darted around the room to make sure she was safe and on solid ground. A hand flew up to her chest as she took a deep breath through her nose and exhaled shakily through her mouth, feeling her heartbeat pound in every part of her body as it threatened to break free from its confinement.
A noise startled her from the window and her head snapped sideways, finding a pair of green eyes staring back at her. Something tingled and sank low to the pit of her stomach at that moment and it raced through her thoughts that this feeling was maybe... disappointment. Possibly because the man outside her window wasn't the person she expected. He wasn't the man she wanted.
She and Stefan were together, but it didn't feel like they were. She saw him every day at school and they hung out all the time, but they hadn't been together in that way for months. In fact they barely kissed anymore.
He knocked on the window to catch her attention once more before she crawled off the bed and scampered over to let him in.
"Hey Stefan," she greeted. As soon as he stepped foot in her room she returned to her bed and sat down cross-legged.
"Hey, are you okay?" He followed her and sat beside her, his hand landing on her thigh to give it a gentle squeeze. "I didn't even get a chance to talk to you before you were speeding home."
"I'm fine Stefan. Don't worry so much."
"Are you sure? I mean you look-"
"I said I'm fine!" she snapped. A flash of hurt crossed Stefan's face and he looked to her hands, his worry for her increasing when he caught how shaky they were as she fiddled with her thumbs.
"Elena," he began, reaching forward to hold her hands in his own, "I know you're not. Tell me what's wrong. Please."
"I'm perfectly okay, Stefan," she lied. "Seriously, just... leave me alone for a while, alright? I don't want to talk about it."
"You mean you don't want to talk to me, right? You'd rather have Damon here comforting you." He was smiling but Elena knew deep down what he was saying was true. The way she felt when Damon entered the room or when he was close to her, and how much more closer she really wanted to be with him... It screamed that one word she never thought she'd feel towards the blue-eyed bad boy. But she couldn't admit it to herself.
Not yet.
"Stefan, please." Her eyes begged him to let it go as he stood up and paced the room.
"Look, I know you and him have gotten... closer these past few months..." He stopped and turned to face her again. "But I mean, what's changed between us?"
"Everything," she admitted, getting off the bed to approach the frustrated vampire. She froze when he suddenly moved behind her and curved his nose between her shoulder and neck, but relaxed slightly when he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"What is it about my brother that seems to draw everyone in...?" It was a question that Elena hardly had the answer to.
"I don't know Stefan." She couldn't even begin to list all the things that kept pulling her in. "But..." she turned in his arms and placed her hands on his shoulders, "we do need to talk. Just not now."
"Okay," he sighed. "Tomorrow?"
"Sounds good," Elena smiled. She walked him down to the front door and waited until he was out of sight before going back up to her room to grab her diary. A soft breeze blew through the opening of her window as she seated herself and began to write.
Dear Diary,
Yet another day has passed and nothing's changed. I'm still tired as hell, barely getting through school, and now Stefan's on my case. I know he means well, but honestly I'm so frustrated with everything; I'm surprised I haven't snapped completely. Thank God I'm on break for the next two weeks.
Damon came by the school today when I was on my way home. Me being me, I was a total klutz and nearly fell on my ass, so he had to swoop in and save me...
I don't know how much longer I can hide my attraction to him. He can be such a jerk and yet when he's around I find myself nearly drooling over him and daydreaming about having his hands all over me and his perfect mouth moving against mine...
Dear God it's happening again. I gotta stop this before I fall completely out of character.
Ric's coming over tonight to have dinner with Jer and I. That means I can sneak upstairs after we eat and attempt to get some sleep tonight. Hopefully I'll get four to five hours this time. I can't take much more of this.
My brain just doesn't want to shut up. I feel like every time I close my eyes I'm suffocated by the fact that my parents can't be here to celebrate the holidays. Even Jenna. My family no longer feels like a family. And it's my fault.
Nothing puts me to sleep. Nothing keeps me asleep. I'm slipping through my own fingers and there's nothing I can do about it.
A buzz of her cellphone made her jump and she reluctantly left her comfort by the window to grab the device on her nightstand. It was a message from Jeremy.
'With Matt. Be home in time for dinner.'
Before she even had the chance to reply, her phone vibrated once more, signaling another message had been received. This time from Caroline.
'Sleep here tonight? Bonnie's coming.'
Elena almost groaned in annoyance. No way was she going to go over there and listen to them chatter about plans and other crap. She wanted sleep. By herself.
She sent back an "okay" to Jeremy before typing out a short response to Caroline.
'Can't. Staying in tonight. Not feeling so well.'
Within seconds she had a reply.
'Are you ditching us for your bed again?'
Reading it made Elena laugh. Her cheerful friend could be quite a nuisance at some points but she definitely knew her well. Elena replied by telling her she'd make up for it, before shutting off her phone and throwing it on the bed. Then she rifled through her bag to find her iPod and plugged it in the dock, picking a song and cranking it high. She had the whole house to herself until Alaric or Jeremy came home, she might as well entertain herself. If she couldn't sleep, why not dance?
If this room was burnin'
I wouldn't even notice
'Cause you've been taking up my mind
With your, little white lies, little white lies
She stood in the middle of the room, her energy beginning to spike. Thoughts of Damon swirled in her mind and she couldn't help but fantasize how she'd dance in front of him if she knew he was watching. The song strangely reminded her of him.
You say it's getting late, it's getting late
And you don't know if you can stay, if you can stay
But you, you don't tell the truth
No you, you like playing games
At first her movements were soft, precise. She stripped a piece of clothing every few steps and her hands tugged at her hair, letting it fall loose from the bun she had it pinned up in all day. A shake of her head had the long locks tumbling over her shoulders in waves of chocolate-brown.
Your hand's touching me, they're touching me
And your eyes keep saying things
They're saying what we do
When it's only me and you
I can't concentrate
That's all I'm thinking about
All I keep thinking about
Everything else just fades away
The lyrics sent butterflies to Elena's stomach. Yes, she could definitely relate to that. Although she'd never been that... intimate with Damon, every touch ignited her.
If this room was burnin'
I wouldn't even notice
'Cause you've been taking up my mind
With your, little white lies, little white lies
She pressed her back against the walls and furniture, her breath coming out in puffs of hot air as she arched her back and fisted her fingers in her hair, rolling her head around in the feeling of pure ecstasy as she lost herself in the music. She wasn't hiding herself. Her pajama pants were pulled off and thrown on her bed, along with her top and socks; which left her in only a pair of lacy black underwear and a bra.
You say you're a good girl
But I know you would girl
'Cause you've been telling me all night
With your, little white lies, little white lies
With your, little white lies, little white lies
Her eyes twisted shut as she twirled her hips, imagining a certain someone dancing behind her, hands traveling to her midsection and moving over her olive-tanned skin. She could see the piercing blue orbs absorbing her every move and she turned, running her nails up around her neck and down between her breasts. A gasp escaped her lips when she opened her eyes to a spinning room, everything suddenly unfocused and blurry. She stilled and tried to balance in an attempt to calm the pounding on her temples and keep herself from falling unconscious; but everything was so overwhelming, as the blasting music crowded her senses. Swaying between one foot and the other, she pulled in two short breaths before she dropped to her knees and everything went black.
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Stefan mused to himself silently as he crept through the woods, his ears straining to listen for a hunt. He should've noticed earlier that Elena was no longer interested in being with him. She was constantly distracted, and she barely made an effort to spend time together anymore. At first he thought she just going through something and wanted to be alone for a while, so he backed off. But the longer he waited, the more she seemed to drift from him. How could he have been oblivious to the signs that she was in love with his elder brother instead?
He stilled. Leaves rustled in the distance. His nose picked up a scent, his ears reveling in the sound of an animal's blood pumping through its veins, completely unaware of the chase it was currently in. Then Stefan took off, his senses leading him directly to a lone deer, grazing a small grass field, the bold black eyes trained on the little patch of flowers just a few steps from its nose. The vampire watched, waited, for that moment when the deer was most vulnerable. It moved closer to the flowers, its head dipping lower, lower...
Stefan pounced, his elongated fangs piercing the furry skin, as every pull of its blood sent a charge through his body. The deer squirmed under the tight hold, but with a quick snap of the neck, it fell dead, helpless to the hungry and frustrated vampire. When Stefan was finished, he laid the deer by a tree, somehow still feeling guilt that he killed another innocent being. Sure it was an animal, but he normally left them in a state of being on the fine line of life and death, not draining them entirely.
As Stefan made his way to the boarding house, he wondered if maybe his conflictions with his and Elena's situation was what pushed his hunger further.
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She woke up cold, still lying in the middle of her bedroom floor. It was dark, the only sound being the wind that whipped through her open window. Her head wasn't pounding as much as it had earlier, but the fuzzy feeling lingered. Hm. Elena inwardly shrugged. At least she got some "sleep". How long was she out? The question circled her mind as she got up on her feet, balancing herself for a few moments before grabbing a pair of sweats and a sweater to pull over her bare skin. The numbers on her clock displayed 4:45 PM, which led her to open her bedroom door and listen for her brother and Alaric. The lights were on in the hallway, the TV on low volume in the living room, laughter heard from the kitchen. The sound made Elena smile. Yes, they were home alright.
"Good evening, Miss Gilbert," Alaric greeted Elena as she entered the kitchen to put the coffee on. He stood by the island chopping peppers and onions for dinner.
"Hey." She moved to sit by the table. "What're we having?"
"Well," he turned to stir something in a pot on the stove, "I got some pasta going here, and then I'm making ground beef with chopped peppers and onions with tomato sauce." He grinned proudly.
"Ooh," Elena smiled. "Sounds fancy. Where'd you learn to do that?" she asked with a smirk.
"Hey just because I'm not a great cook, doesn't mean I'm completely incapable of making anything at all. Really this isn't that hard to do."
"Sure Ric," she giggled. "So where have you been? I know you stay at the school longer than students, but this time was longer than usual." She tilted her head to one side in question. "Were you with Damon?"
"Yeah I was," he sighed as he finished cutting a red pepper and started on an onion. "I went to the boarding house to 'hang out' for a while." He paused his actions momentarily to use his fingers for air quotes.
"Hang out?" Her brow arched. "By that you mean, drink bourbon and complain about how much you hate teenagers?"
Alaric laughed, sliding the cut-up peppers off the cutting board into the pan on the stove, blending it smoothly with the ground beef and sauce. "That, and just being a friend. You do realize he spends most of his days sulking alone in that gigantic mansion, don't you?"
"Oh Ric, like you do anything better with your spare time."
Elena flinched in her chair and whipped her head around, the new voice catching her off guard. She stared almost longingly at the one and only Damon Salvatore as he strolled into her kitchen like he owned the place, looking just as handsome in his leather jacket as he did earlier and every other time she'd ever seen him. He cast a wink to her when he felt her eyes on him, and she looked away embarrassingly, her cheeks flushing a bright pink. Damon walked up to Ric and gave him a pat on the back; laughing when the teacher shoved him for sticking his finger in the food to taste.
"Not bad," Damon commented with a smirk. "Not bad at all." His eyes glanced towards Elena when he once again caught her staring. "You know," he spoke up, moving gracefully around the room to sit next to the brunette, "you're awfully quiet."
"How observant of you," Elena grumbled. "Isn't that a good thing?"
"It is for me!" Jeremy hollered from the living room, his eyes glued to the TV screen as he played on his X-Box. "Means less complaining and more peace and quiet!"
"Very funny Jer." Elena rolled her eyes but smiled softly upon hearing her brother's laugh.
"Seriously though." Damon reached over and grabbed her hand, noting the immediate race of her heart when he touched her. "Are you okay?"
She swallowed under his gaze, her fingers on the hand Damon wasn't holding fidgeting slightly. "I'm fine," she said somewhat firmly. "I told you that earlier."
"Earlier?" Alaric chimed in back by the sink as he drained the water from the pasta.
"Yeah I went by the school." Damon smirked. "Watched her fumble with keys and curse at the world."
Elena scowled and narrowed her eyes at him.
"So that's why you suddenly seemed all, I'm-concerned-for-Elena's-health when I came by earlier?" Alaric asked as he chuckled lightly. "I'm sure if something was wrong, she'd tell you Damon," he said. "You know you're always the first she goes to."
And then it was dead silent. You could hear a pin drop, with the exception of the TV in the other room. Damon sat there looking dumbfounded. Elena was absolutely mortified. Jeremy sat on the couch chuckling to himself because he knew that's exactly how they were going to react if someone ever said that out loud. Suddenly Damon and Elena were painfully aware they were still holding hands, and the raven-haired vampire pulled his away, clearing his throat in the incredibly awkward tension that floated around the room.
"So um," Elena broke the silence, swallowing once more in habit of being nervous, "what's Stefan up to?"
And just like that, the tension dropped to a much more tense level and Damon's demeanor switched from the sweet guy to the normal, sarcastic, arrogant attitude.
"Oh not much," he replied, "he came home, said he was going out for a while. Probably hunting for Bambi and the gang." He shrugged. "Why, was he here?"
Damon could see her brain going through the contemplation of telling him something or keeping it to herself. He was glad when she decided to open up. "Yeah he was," she sighed. "He just asked me the same as you, wondering if I was okay."
"And what did you reply?"
Her eyes darted to his, unsure whether or not he was being sincere or just asking out of mere curiosity. She repeated the two words she'd been saying all day for what felt like the hundredth time. "I'm fine."
Damon leaned forward, his warm breath tickling the skin by Elena's throat as he spoke so low that only she could hear. "Are you sure about that?"
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Elena let out a breath under the spray of the shower, tense muscles relaxing in the warmth and soothing her nerves. Dinner was surprisingly not as awkward as she thought it would've been. The silence between the four people eating was comfortable to an extent, before someone cleared their throat in that obvious way they wanted someone to start a conversation. But they all kept silent, because they knew most conversations with Damon and Elena in the same room would end up being about their "relationship", or one of them storming off because the other said something stupid.
A knock at the door jumped Elena back to reality. "You okay in there?" the all-too-familiar voice asked. Damon. "You've been in there for over half an hour," he said.
What?
Had she really been standing in the shower doing nothing but thinking for almost an hour? Jeez.
"I'm coming in."
Before Elena could process his words or even react to them, she heard the doorknob twist and felt the vague gust of cool air move throughout the room as he slipped inside and closed the door behind him. Dammit why hadn't she locked it? There was a curtain that shielded her from his steel-blue eyes, but she felt impossibly vulnerable.
She kept quiet, still standing under the soon-to-be cold water as she tried to keep herself busy. After all, she was in the shower. Anticipation gnawed at her very core as she lathered her hands with shampoo and started working it into her hair; waiting, wondering what Damon was going to say. When it came to him, she could never really see what was coming.
"So," he once again seeped through her train of thoughts, "did you enjoy dinner?"
That stopped her in her tracks, and she had to refrain from laughing out loud. Really? He was asking if she liked dinner? "Yeah," she finally answered. "I did." She smiled to herself. "Did you?"
She heard his low chuckle, the sound sending a wave of tingles up her arms and legs, making her shiver.
"I did enjoy it," he replied, half-sarcastically. "It was great listening to how much Little Gilbert wants a new game for his damn X-Box."
This time she did release a laugh, and it was one of those that forced her to bend over and put her hands on her knees just to keep herself standing upright. Man, she was really tired.
Elena could practically feel Damon draw nearer, his hand barely hovering over the flimsy plastic curtain that stood between them. He wanted to yank the damn thing off. Or get in there and join her. Either-or worked. "You sound like you're wheezing in there Elena." Damon's brows furrowed with concern. "Come on, you're getting out now."
"What? No!"
"Get out," he warned, "before I come in there myself and hoist you over my shoulder all naked and soaking wet." He heard her light gasp, the way her heart sped up just a little at the imagery of him tearing back the curtain to see her all glistening and shy with water droplets running down her body...
"Damon I'm not getting out with you in here."
He smirked. Still as stubborn as ever I see.
Quickly and steadily, the vampire snatched the towel Elena had laid out on the counter and unfolded it before pulling aside the shower curtain. Doe eyes bulged wide with shock upon seeing him but before she could utter a single word he had wrapped her in the warm cottony material and lifted her out of the tub, placing her directly in front of him. For a minute they just stared at each other. Elena was surprised, embarrassed, and most importantly pissed off, because she swore she saw a smirk on those lips of his the second he laid eyes on her naked body. He had no right to invade her privacy.
"I didn't see anything... private, if that's what you're thinking." It was like he was reading her thoughts as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Elena scowled, her hand coming up to smack him on the chest. "What the hell, Damon!" Strangely she wasn't even that mad but she kept the act up anyway. "You can't just barge in here like that and take me out of my own shower!"
"It sounded like you were half-dying in there anyway! Plus you've been in there for almost an hour. I mean come on, what were you doing the whole time? Coming up with ideas for fanfiction?" he joked.
Good cover story, Elena thought to herself. She should use that in the future. "No," she told him, crossing her arms so the towel wouldn't loosen. "I just had a lot on my mind. I don't get it Damon," she expressed with exasperation. "You're on my case, Stefan's on my case... Everyone's constantly up my ass! I am fine! How many times do I have to say it before you back off?" Her eyes were glossy and she was trembling, willing herself to keep from falling apart in front of Damon. She wouldn't show him she was weak; he couldn't know anything. She was always in trouble, there was always a problem with her. Didn't he ever get tired of taking care of her? She was sure he was. He had to be.
Damon glared down at the shaking girl, his mouth set in a grim line as he tried to figure out what the hell was bothering her so much. Why was she acting like this? She was so jumpy and she looked like she hadn't slept in years. Was it Stefan? "You can say it all you want but your face is evident enough that it isn't true. Elena," he placed his hands on her forearms gently, "whatever's going on... you can tell me."
"I can't," she whispered. "I can't deal with this right now, Damon. Please just... go."
He sighed and forced himself to hold together what little control he had left. God she was so stubborn. "Fine," he muttered. "But whenever you want to talk, I'm here. Got it?" He pointed a finger in her face to show her he was dead-serious.
Despite the fact that they were arguing in a steamy bathroom and Elena was only in a towel, she giggled at him. And the look on his face was priceless. "Got it," she told him quietly and smiled.
That smirk she learned to love so much appeared across the man's face again as he moved around her and opened the door, heading straight for the window on the other side of her bedroom.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Ric or anything?" she asked him, leaning on the doorframe with her towel clutched in one hand.
"Already did." He winked at her briefly, and then disappeared. If he hadn't stayed outside her window for a few moments longer, he would've missed the soft words she spoke as she went back in the bathroom to get dressed.
"Thank you."
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"Knock knock." Damon walked in the boarding house to find Stefan sitting by the fire, brooding like he always did. "Why so glum?" he asked, heading straight for the alcohol.
"Nothing," was Stefan's reply.
"Oh come on, you know I don't believe you when you sound like that." Damon threw back a glass of his favourite bourbon, pouring another one then after. "You look more miserable than usual," he commented as he looked down at Stefan's face. "And that probably has something to do with Elena, or maybe the way she's been acting lately. Correct?"
Stefan suddenly perked upon the mention of his girlfriend. "You've talked to her?" he asked, sounding desperate almost.
"Yeah, jeez, it's not like she's been missing for months. You can talk to her too." Damon plopped down beside his baby brother. "Why do you ask?"
"I was over there earlier and she didn't want to open up to me at all." Stefan sighed and raked his hand through his hair, "Something's up and it's killing me that I don't know what it is."
"Maybe the problem is you?"
"Not funny."
"Sorry, sorry." Damon held his hands up in mock-surrender. "Just saying, your brooding can get a little depressing. Maybe she just wants some time to herself."
"Can you be serious for even a minute?"
"What?" he questioned. "You know it's true. What were you doing this whole time you've been home?"
"Nothing," Stefan uttered.
"Exactly! Nothing. That equals brooding." Damon stood from the couch and started towards his bedroom. "Look, just leave her be for a few days. You have two whole weeks to catch up and talk about whatever it is you lovebirds talk about." He smiled, "Now if you'll excuse me, I will be up in my room for the rest of the night. If you hear weird noises, run 'cause it won't be me."
Stefan laughed softly to himself as he was left alone with his thoughts once again. Maybe he should take Damon's advice. Wait a minute there. This is Damon we're talking about, his subconscious reminded him. Yes, his brother didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to advice, but he usually knew what he was talking about. Right?
Yeah, this time Stefan decided to listen. He'd wait until Elena came to him to talk, not force her. He just hoped she'd tell him soon.
The copper-haired vampire headed to his own bedroom and closed the door, leaving the remainder of the mansion quiet and dark, the only source of life being the flames that burned wildly in the fireplace.
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Okay Elena, sleep. It's simple. You close your eyes and relax. Got it? Good now do it.
She laid in her bed in complete darkness, the wind blowing viciously outside her window. She was hoping that somehow she'd miraculously get over her damn sleep problems and just fall unconscious until the morning. But every night it was the same thing: fall asleep, have nightmares about the deaths of her loved ones, wake up. It was a process Elena was beginning to get accustomed to. But this time she didn't fall asleep at all. She'd been up all night.
She sat up in her bed, hands finding her phone on the nightstand as she unlocked the screen and went through her contacts. She didn't want to talk to the girls. They'd pry and pry until she finally cracked and she couldn't deal with that. It was just too frustrating. Maybe she could talk to Alaric... No. She'd already put him through enough. She wouldn't pile this on him; especially the mention of Jenna. It's too painful. Jeremy was asleep in the room next-door. But he was her younger brother, she couldn't just walk in there and spill everything. What kind of a sister brings up everything painful in her life to her little brother? He experienced it too. She couldn't tell him. No one could know. It was something everyone had gotten past and they didn't need some annoying teenage girl to dig it all up again. She'd suffer in silence until it passed through her system.
But Christmas was in four days; her friends would want to get together. How would she act around them? Surely they'd all notice she looked different. Half of them already mentioned her being tired. Pfft. What an understatement.
Elena didn't realize she was staring at Damon's name until the phone's screen dimmed, notifying her that she hadn't touched it in over a few minutes. She glanced around the room once before tapping his name, almost as if she were a child doing something naughty and trying not to get caught. When the phone didn't respond right away she tapped twice, a jolt of panic shooting through her when the phone started dialing his number. Unfortunately for her, Damon was a speedy answerer, even more so when it was Elena that was calling.
"You do realize it's almost 4 AM, right?"
Elena couldn't even muster any words to respond with. How did one tell another that you accidentally called them at 3:45 AM but didn't mean to, you just wanted to stare at their name on your phone?
"Elena? You there?"
"Uh- um, hey." She ran her fingers through her hair and swallowed nervously. Why was she so nervous?
There was silence on the other end for a few moments, and Elena had to look at the screen to check if the call was still on-going.
"You okay?" Damon asked after a while, his voice soft and comforting. It was like she could hear the love.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to keep her voice in control. "Yeah, I just um... I-... You know what? Don't even worry about it. I'm sorry for bothering you."
"Wait, Elena-"
She hung up before he had a chance to finish his sentence. If he'd said anything more she would've asked him to come over. Lately Damon was her rock. Although she had Stefan - hell he was her boyfriend - Damon was always the one she wanted to talk to. There was just something about him that kept her grounded and made her feel safe and like everything was okay.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, Damon's name flashing across the screen. She swiped the line at the bottom with her finger to answer and placed the phone by her ear.
"What the hell was that? You expect me to believe you're alright when you hang up on me?" He was pissed. Great.
"Sorry!" she said. "I don't know why I did that." Talking to you makes me want to run to your arms and never let you go.
"Just tell me you're okay," he sighed."I know you're not but hearing you say it will keep me sane for the night without going over there uninvtited."
"I'm fine Damon." Elena smiled even though he couldn't see it. "Just go back to sleep, I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Night, 'Lena." She could practically hear his smirk.
"Goodnight Damon."
Two hours passed since that conversation. Not a single blink of sleep was received, and it was really starting to piss Elena off. Christmas break was supposed to start with over-sleeping and lazy days in bed where all you did was eat and watch TV or do whatever you want and have fun. Not restless nights and exhausting mornings. This was just not right.
"Know what? Screw it."
Elena jumped out of bed and went through her closet, pulling out a thick sweater and sweatpants that normally she'd never let anyone see. But she didn't care - they were comfortable. She just wanted to get out of the house and go somewhere.
She quietly slipped down the stairs and out the door, grabbing her keys along the way. When she pulled out of the driveway and turned the corner in the direction of her intended destination, she let out a sigh.
"I'm coming over, Damon."
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The boarding house looked just as intimidating if not more in the pitch-black darkness that enveloped the air. The snow was crisp and thick as Elena stalked to the large wooden door and slowly slipped inside, where she was immediately met with the warmth that still mingled in the fireplace, a few lone embers floating to the air that gradually fell black and dropped back down.
The long hallway that led to Stefan's and Damon's rooms felt longer than she remembered. The carpeted floor felt soft against her bare feet as she crept alongside the wall, her fingers gliding over the surface to feel her surroundings. She slowed her movements when she approached Stefan's door; her mind telling her to go in and stay with him, but her heart carrying her further down the hallway. And soon she found herself standing outside Damon's bedroom door. From what her eyes could take in, the room was lit dimly, flickers of orange crawling over the walls. Upon peeking her head through the opening of his door, Elena was mesmerized. A candle stood by Damon's nightstand, an open book lying on the floor. Damon lay on his side, shirtless to Elena's benefit, his back facing the doorway as his muscles rippled underneath his skin with every breath he took. He was beautiful.
The brunette padded across the room, careful not to bump into anything or trip over her own feet. If Damon woke up now, she'd be screwed. How could she explain being in her boyfriend's brother's room at nearly six o'clock in the morning? Not believably.
When Elena neared Damon's side of the bed to blow out the candle, she stopped for a few moments and took the opportunity to actually get a good look at him. She smiled, almost giggling like a giddy school girl at the fact that she was even in the room. She'd never admit it out loud but she loved his bed, and his room for that matter. It was just so... Damon.
When complete darkness swallowed the room, that was when Elena became nervous. Her feet became clammy, and she flinched every time she heard the sticky sound they made with each step against the floor. Ugh, why did Damon have to have wooden floors?
Three steps. Two steps. One step. She hovered over the bed now, her eyes just barely able to make out Damon's handsome face in the dark. Pulling back the covers, Elena yanked off her sweater and tossed it on the floor, leaving her in her sweatpants and a tank top as she slowly, very slowly slid under them and rolled over to her side so she faced Damon. When he didn't stir at all, she decided to move closer. Now she could feel his body heat.
This is intense.
Elena gulped. She was afraid she'd wake him with her rapidly beating heart; jeez she'd never been this close to him before. It was scary and yet so exciting.
She hoped maybe being with Damon would help her sleep. Just for a few hours. So she slid just a bit closer to him, keeping her breathing calm as she tucked her head underneath his and curled her arms between them. Her fingers were so close to him, but she fought the urge to reach out and touch him. Instead, she leaned forward, her lips brushing softly against his smooth skin. When he fidgeted slightly underneath her touch she gasped and jumped back, thinking she was busted. Luckily though, he simply breathed out contently and continued his peaceful slumber.
"Goodnight Damon."
Was that a smile on his face?
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A/N: Okay, so this chapter is incredibly long. xD Probably longer than I've ever written before.
Song used in chapter: Little White Lies by One Direction. I'm obsessed with their new album so there might be a few songs in future chapters.
Hope you like it. I know it's really late to be posting Christmas stories but just bear with me here people.
Love you all! xx