The world is a dark place. At almost three years old, I'd lived a lifetime in the darkness. Even now, it surrounds me. All the bright lights in the city couldn't push it away. Rain fell steadily from the sky, soaking my cardboard patched roof that fit snuggly between a dumpster and the rough brick wall in the alleyway.
Although, for now, I was relatively dry, it was only a matter time before my roof crumbled around me. The stale, moldy bread that someone had thrown away made me sick to my stomach. Chewing hurt my jaws but I had to eat today. My stomach clenched, disgusted by the rotting bread, but grateful for something to devour other than itself.
Today would be the first day I met him. How he found me remained a mystery to me. This city wasn't kind, not to me. No one noticed. I stole from dumpsters in the dark and kept my distance from onlookers. They'd take pity on me. They'd think they were saving me. When the reality was that they were lying to themselves. People send kids off the streets to foster care to ease their own guilty consciousness'. They'd continue their lives believing that they'd somehow bettered my life.
They'd never know.
Foster homes were cruel places for little girls like me. I was too smart for my own good. There was even less food and if wasn't quick enough, there would be none. The other kids tormented and taunted me. They laughed and made fun. I wanted to kill them all.
But today, things changed.
Today, a young man in a white lab coat and square black glasses knelt in front of my makeshift home… and smiled at me. "Hello."
I blinked. Maybe if I'm silent, he'll leave me alone. Tearing off another nibble of bread with my teeth, I tried to ignore him.
"I see. A little loner, are we? I saw you fall out of the dumpster behind that café. It must have hurt," he continued looking at my bleeding, skinned knee.
He must be what they call a doctor. I've only ever seen one once before. One of my so called foster siblings mysteriously stepped on a perfectly placed sliver of broken glass. He had to have twelve stitches on the bottom of his foot and still has trouble walking on it.
"Not a talker, huh? I guess I am a stranger. My name is Shinra Kishitani. Can I patch up your knee?" He reached out slowly, waiting to see if I pulled away. When I didn't, he opened his medical bag. "Good! For a minute, I thought you didn't like me!" His laugh was… nice. Friendly.
I watched Shinra clean and bandage the wound, placing a sticker band-aid over the wrap. He then offered me his hand. "How does a warm meal and dry bed sound? This part of the city gets pretty scary after dark."
No one ever taught me not to talk to strangers. My parents didn't teach me much of anything before I ended up another number in the system. But Shinra didn't feel dangerous… not like so many other people I'd encountered in my short life. And all that did sound appealing.
Placing my small hand in his, Shinra smiled and helped me up, squeezing my hand gently. He led me out to the sidewalk's edge and a cab rolled up to a stop in front of his. Releasing my hand to open the door, Shinra tried to balance his bag and umbrella in his other hand.
There was no way I was getting into that monstrous thing. They moved much too fast and I refused to get in. when I took a step back, I thought this was a mistake. I should have never left the safety of my solitude. Being alone in the world kept me alive.
"It's alright," Shinra said, making sure the umbrella stayed above me, allowing himself to get wet. "If you don't want to take a car, we can walk. Though it is a long way in this rain." He rested his finger on his chin. "Ah ha! Russia's sushi is right around the corner. We could duck in there to wait for the rain to pass." Again, he offered me his hand.
Something about the gesture relaxed me. Maybe it was the choice. I could do whatever I wanted. I could say no… but I didn't. Taking his hand for a second time, we walked down the city street and into a strange building.
Shinra set his umbrella down and greeted the man behind the counter, leading me over to the stools. He pulled one out for me and waited.
My shoe slid, causing me to almost fall. I tried a second time and climbed up into the seat. The chef glanced at me. "Who's your friend, doc?"
"Very cute friend! Little, but very adorable. Where you make friendship with her?" Another Russian man came around and smiled very big.
"She's… actually I don't know her name. We just met." Shinra settled into the chair next to me, still as friendly as before.
"Well, you have a name kid?" The chef asked, starting on whatever Shinra had ordered.
I stared at my dirty pants. Everything about me was a dirty mess. My dark purple hair had tangles in it. My clothes were worn and muddy, with holes chewed by rats. Even my shoes were cracking from old age. What did a name matter to a little forgotten girl? So, I shook my head.
"You don't seem so sure," he said, raising his eyebrows.
"Hey! If she doesn't want to tell then she doesn't have to!" Shinra started, jumping to my defense. He made no sense.
"Kuro." The word left my lips before I could think. I wanted him to know. "My… my name is Kuro."
Shinra rested his chin on his hand, smiling at me again. "Kuro. I like it. It suits you."
He had no idea how true that was. My name can translate to mean dark. Even my name brought it to me. I'd never be able to escape its horrible grip on my life.
A platter of five sushi rolls slid in front of me. The smell wafted up to me and my mouth watered. Fresh food. Picking one up, I took a small bite, chewing slowly. The salmon on top tasted like the finest meat I'd ever eaten. After my third small bite, I glanced at Shinra, who was watching me eat with a laugh.
"I imagined you might gobble it all up in one big bite… but you're taking it slow, like it's your last meal. Or your first. I can't tell."
I lowered my head, still munching on the sushi. Strange emotions fluttered inside me. The rest of my meal was ate in silence. I wanted to make each bite last as long as possible. The rain had stopped by the time we left.
"Have nice night little girl and Doctor Kishitani! Return soon okay?" Simone waved us off from the front door.
The walk to his apartment was long. If my fear of cars hadn't been so severe, I would have caved and let him pay for a ride. Never the less, we arrived and he unlocked the door. "Celty, I'm home!" He sang, locking the door behind me. I followed his lead in taking off my shoes. "Aww… she's not here! How about a bath then?"
Shinra led me into a bathroom, turning on the water. He searched the cabinets while I stood and watched the water rise. Hesitantly, I reached out to touch it. "Warm…" I muttered and ran my hand back and forth. The few baths I've ever had were cold.
"Found them! Celty likes to use bubbles sometimes but don't tell her I told you that." Shinra leaned over me and poured some liquid into the bath. It began to foam up into bubbles. "Ready to get in?"
I nodded, mesmerized by the bubbles. I lifted my arms up when he pulled my shirt up. He froze so I looked at him. He looked… hurt? That wasn't the right word. Angry? Maybe…
"Kuro… are those burn marks?" He asked, gently touching the scars on my stomach.
Lie, Kuro. That's what I'd been taught to do. If any asks, lie. "N-No. They're birthmarks… they've always been there." I stuttered out.
Shinra nodded his head slowly. "Okay, Kuro, it's okay." He took my shaking hands, rubbing circles on the tops with his thumbs. "How about that bath now?"
He told me all about himself. He's 24 and he's a doctor, but not the kind that works in a hospital. His roommate, Celty, was a little different but he was confident that she would like me. Shinra only left for a moment to get clean clothes for me and to fix the futon in another room.
I yawned, rubbing my eyes with my wet hand. I hadn't been this clean in a long time. The dark t-shirt almost hit the floor. After my hair was dried with a towel, I followed Shinra to my temporary bed. He'd barely turned the light out before I drifted off to sleep.
False hope. I knew I shouldn't allow myself to become comfortable here. One night and I'd be back on my own again. That's where I belonged. Being independent kept me alive and safer than when I'd lived in that house. The doctor, though, Shinra… he was kind. Too kind to a little girl who never mattered in this big world.