Come Back When You Can

Author's Note: I don't usually write femlash but I am such a big fan of Rizzoli & isles, so I thought I would attempt to write one.

"Oh, how the world seem so unfair Creating a love that cannot be shared As you go your way, and i go mine Our light will shine, and it will be me…" – It Will be Me by Melissa Etheridge

Six months earlier…

Maura Isles never thought that love could hurt this much. She never thought it was possible to not want to feel anything. Every word Jane spoke to her that night pierced through her heart. It played over and over again like a broken record. She pleaded with Jane to think about it and no not end what they have. But Jane was determined and her heart.

"Jane please. I mean, why? It might seem hard at first, but you know, people will get sued to it."

"Maura I worked to hard to be where I am. And there's nothing and no one in this world that could be more important than my job and my family. I can't. I will not be the talk of the precinct because of this. And I will not have my family disown me because of you. No way, Maura."

"So without even trying, you are ending our relationship? You don't even know if that is how your family will react. Gay marriage is legal in Boston, you really think the people you work with would care?"

"I do. And there's no way I am willing to take that chance. As for my family, I am not even going there regarding whatever this is that we have."

"What we have. Or we had was a relationship Jane. Don't you think I feel what you feel? I have never had this happened to me before but I am willing to try. I am willing to put my reputation and my job on the line for you."

"Well, that's the difference between you and me. I am not."

"S you are saying I am not worth it."

Hey you said it not me."

"I don't have to. I'm just going to get my things."

Maura took the last of her stuff that night. She can still recall how much it broke her heart to see Jane not feel half the pain she was feeling that night. But she held her head up high and walked out the door.

Four months earlier…

It has been two months since they broke up. It's been two months since she let Maura walk out the door. It broke her heart to say the things she said to Maura but it was for the best. She could not give up her job nor risk being disowned by her family because of their relationship. She loved and still loves Maura. She misses what they had. She lost her best friend that night.

Jane though enough time had past and maybe, she can try to at least repeai their broken friendship.

They had just closed a case and thought, she should ask Maura to join her, Frost and Korsak for a celebration at the bar. Ever since that night, she and Maura only spoke about work. Korsak and Frost asked but she just waved them away and told them it was none of their business.

It was obvious that something had gone on between her and Maura. The air was filled with tension every time they went down to the morgue. Maura no longer addressed her by first name. It was either Rizzoli or Detective. The light in her eyes were gone and she could only see sadness.

Jane sauntered into the morgue looking for Maura.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Maura in a red dress and in a hurry.

"Maura."

"I am in a hurry. I will see you on Monday.'

"Oh. It looks like you have a date tonight?"

The phone rang and Maura held up a finger.

"Hi. Yeah, I''m ready. I'm sorry that you had to wait another hour. I will see you at the front. Bye."

"I'm happy for you, Maura."

"Thanks. I really have to go."

"Who is he? Or she?"

"You don't get to ask me that Jane. Not anymore."

For the first time, Jane now knows how Maura felt that night.

Two months ago…

Jane, Frost and Korsak were sitting at a booth drinking beer.

They were laughing and having a good time. Frost turned his head toward the door and Jane noticed the look on his face. Jane followed his gaze and there was Maura holding hands with Mike Wilson, the Team Leader in Counter Terrorism.

"Oh, there's Dr. Isles. So the rumors are true, she's dating Wilson. He's a great guy. " Korsak said.

"I think we should invite them over to our booth." Frost suggested.

Before Jane could protest, she saw that Maura and her date were already heading towards their booth.

"Hello, Dr. Isles."

"Barry, please call me Maura. We are not at work. By the way, I'd like you to meet Mike Wilson."

"We've ran into each other before. Hey Mike, I'm Vince Korsak. That's Barry Frost and this is Jane Rizzoli."

"Nice to meet you, detectives. I have heard so much about you guys from Maura of course and also, your impeccable reputation around the precinct. Can we join you guys?"

"Sure."

"We just came from dinner across the street."

Throughout the night, Jane listened and observed Mike and Maura.

She'd join in so not to make it obvious that she really isn't enjoying the night. Seeing Maura and Mike kiss and flirt was not her idea of a good time. But she couldn't do that to Maura. As Maura said, she had no right.

Present Day…

Jane Rizzoli was running late and as the elevator opened to her floor, she heard voices. She looked up and saw Maura, Frost, Korsak, Chief Cavanaugh and Mike Wilson. They were laughing and the moment she saw Maura's face, she knew something special happened and the news will break her heart.

"Oh, there's Rizzoli."

"Hello, Chief. What's going on?"

"Well, it seems like Detective Wilson and Dr. Isles here have an announcement."

"Well, I asked Maura last night to marry me and she said "yes."

Jane felt like the world had come crashing down on her. All of sudden, she felt sick and couldn't breathe.

"I'm so happy for you Maura and Mike. Congratulations."

"I'm the luckiest man in the world. I have been waiting a couple of years to ask this beautiful woman out and finally, I got up the nerve to do it. Thank God, she said yes."

"Oh, Mike."

"He is, Maura." Jane blurted out.

"Thank you, Jane. I think we all need to go back to work."

Jane wasn't able to concentrate at work. She couldn't think. Maura is getting married.

Finally, Jane got up from her and chair and made her way to the morgue.

"Maura."

"Jane? What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk later, please?"

"About what?"

"Just please. I can either come over your house or you can come over to mine."

"Let me just check with Mike if he has anything planned for us tonight."

"Hey. Do you have anything planned for us tonight?"

"That's fine if you are working late. I'm going over to Jane's place. I will call you, later. Yeah, I love you too."

"So what time do you want me to come over?"

"Around 7 o'clock."

"Okay. Should I bring wine?"

"I got that taken care of. I will see you tonight, Maura."

"I've been led on To think that we've been Trying for too long.
Every time we drift We're forcing what is wrong. At last that voice is gone…" – Come Back When You Can by Barcelona

Jane paced back and forth waiting for Maura to arrive. She had just about worn out the wood flooring in her apartment. She has never been so nervous in her life.

She jumped when she heard the door bell.

She opened the door and there stood, the most beautiful thing she has ever laid eyes on. Maura Isles.

"So here I am. What did you want to talk about?"

"Can we just eat first?"

"Sure."

Tension filled the air. It felt strange to talk to Mauar again. It's been six months since the last time she was here. It was the night she broke Maura's heart. It was the night she saw tears coming down that beautiful face of hers. For months now, she wanted to mend what she had done but she first had to come to terms with who she is and what she wants. And no matter how much she argued with herself, it always ended up with not being able to live a life without Maura. She can only hope that it's not too late.

After dinner, they sat down on the couch that is so familiar to both of them.

"So Jane, you wanted to talk, let's talk.'

"Maura, I hope that it's not too late. Maura, I love you. I'm sorry that I said those things to you six months ago. But I was confused. I had to come to terms with who I am on my own."

Maura cried.

"Jane you don't know how long I wanted to hear you say those words. But I can't Jane. I am marrying Mike."

"Maura, please just give me another chance."

"Jane, do you know why I fell for Mike? He never asked me for anything. He just loves me. With you, I had to beg you to love me. I begged you to fight for me, for us. But you said I was not worth it. You told me that nothing and no one in this world was worth losing your job and being disowned by your family. I have never felt so worthless in my life than I did that night. I never felt pain like that. When I told Mike, that I may not be able to love him as much as he loves me, you know what he said? He said it's okay because the love he has for me is enough for both of us. Six months ago, there was nothing I would want more than for you to say the words you just said earlier but it's too late Jane. Mike and I, we are going to have a baby. I can't be with you, ever. Goodbye, Jane."