Even after years of friendship one thing Gladiolus just couldn't get used to was Ignis's sense of humor. His own was direct and obvious, nothing you'd have to put too much thought into to understand. Ignis's, however, was something entirely different. He would say something you'd really have to think about, something you'd have to be paying attention to to get, or referencing something he'd read in a book once so you'd go around not knowing any better until slowly you realized you'd been insulted.
"The method is very simple, honestly, the task can seem daunting until you get your hands around it." That was a great set up for an easy joke, but it wasn't like Ignis to take the obvious jokes. Hell, it had taken months after they met for Gladio to even figure out Ignis had a sense of humor. "In order to cook this correctly you only need a vew simple tools and some patience."
"Okay," Prompto nodded taking notes, he'd asked for some help on simple ideas for dinner, apparently pretty conscious of what he was eating. Gladio was just here for the free food and see how long until Ignis decided Prompto was a lost cause. "I'm going to take a few pictures so I don't forget anything."
"You're wasting your time with him." Noctis said not looking up from his phone, he had volunteered his kitchen for this experiment, mostly because the only person who used the kitchen was Ignis anyway.
"We'll see about that." He dismissed Noctis, "First start with the onion, after it's peeled you want to mince it." He explained as he demonstrated. "Keep your fingers curled like so, lest you lose one."
Ignis liked to go along with things when he was the butt of a joke, rolling with it until he found a way to flip it back on whoever thought they could get the best of him. It was like laying a trap, all carefully planned out and hidden so you'd walk straight into it like everything was fine, then bam, he's got you.
"For cutting raw meat you want to use a different board, there's risk of contaminating other food if you use the same cutting board for everything, so it's best to keep them separate." He washed things as he went, so there was less clean up at the end, and he let Prompto try his hand at every step. "I also prefer to use separate knives as well, but that's not entirely necessary."
"I think he just likes his knives." Noctis threw in, indicating he was paying more attention than his eyes glued to his cell phone would indicate.
"Nothing wrong with taking pride in one's tools." Ignis said smoothly. He said everything smoothly, no matter how embarrassing a person might find it to say, or how hard it might be for someone to hear. He never missed a beat, and always took the time to explain things so people would understand them.
"When you're following a recipe for the first time, it's best not to change too much, just go by what's written. As you learn how each ingredient changes the flavor you will know where to make adjustments to get the taste you're looking for." They were working from one of Ignis's own recipes, so there would be no adjusting in this lesson.
"Got it," Prompto measured everything under the scrutiny of Ignis's ever watchful eye. Prompto seemed so careless sometimes, and Ignis so careful, but somehow Gladio didn't find it strange that they got along half as well as they did. Though, maybe Prompto was still a little intimidated by anyone not Noct.
At first Ignis seemed very serious and straightforward, all business and no play sort of guy. Gladio respected that, anyone who took so much pride in his work had to be a good guy. It was nice finding out he had hobbies, and getting him into video games had been pretty easy too. He had a good memory and attention to detail, but knew how to keep a secret. Honestly, if you could get him to warm up to you, he was a friend worth keeping around by any standard.
"Really, that's all you need?" Prompto sounded shocked as they moved onto the actually-cooking-things-with-fire part of the lesson.
"You don't need a lot of oil in the pan, when stir frying. I find that many people over pour and it leaves for a heavy greasy meal."
Gladio was good at reading people, but Ignis had mastered this unaffected calm that let him surprise just about anyone. So far those surprises had mostly all been pleasant ones, and happen to both be working in the castle and about the same age turned out to be a solid friendship.
"Oh man, this is way harder than it looks." Prompto's attempts at stir frying in the wok left something to be desired.
"You're doing fine. It takes practice to get the technique down, just make sure you don't burn anything for the time being."
Then there was his other type of humor, one that Gladio dreaded more than the first kind. He also never saw it coming, not just because of that calm, but also because it was just so against what anyone expected it came as a horrific shock every time.
"Don't turn up the heat, it won't serve any purpose but to cause the food to burn. You need patience and a watchful eye, and I know you have at least one of those thing." He instructed, correcting Prompto's attempts at speeding the process along. "You can't take shortcuts when cooking, that's just a recipe for disaster."
There was a thump as Noct's forehead made contact with the counter top, and Prompto just stared at Ignis like he's been slapped.
Gladio just shook his head, and tried to forget he'd heard anything.
Gods did Ignis love his bad puns.