A/N: A huge thanks to Anja for the prompt and the talented Chelsea once again for the beautiful cover art. I hope you guys enjoy this fic. There will be five chapter total; the first two will be rated T but everything after that will be in M rated territory. Thank you for reading, I'd love to have your thoughts!
Some people long for a life that is simple and planned
Tied with a ribbon
Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land
To follow what's written
But I'd follow you to the great unknown
Off to a world we call our own
Hand in my hand and we promised to never let go
We're walking the tightrope
- Tightrope, The Greatest Showman
She stares at him, his eyes just as terrified as she imagines hers look right about now, doesn't know what else to do as she holds on to his hand, clinging to him literally for dear life as they have about five seconds left to live before the bomb goes off and blows New York City to ash.
She sees him reach forward towards the open doors of the van and she ducks, turns away from the source of the expected explosion, her heart pounding against the wall of her chest harder than it ever has before, jabbing at her insides as panic settles deep in her bones-
He yanks at the wires and recoils, squeezing his eyes shut as he waits for the blow that never comes. Her eyes blink open after a moment and she watches as he looks back at the bomb in the van, the bright red timer at zero, but the rest of it is no different than it had been a minute before. Everything stands the same.
It didn't blow.
Castle drops the handful of wires he pulled from the explosive and a sob climbs up her throat when she exhales a long shuddering breath.
"Castle," she sighs out his name, throwing herself into his arms, not even ashamed of the ragged sound of pure relief that makes it past her lips when he pulls her in tight, his arms coiling around her waist and clinging just as tightly. He laughs, euphoric as he pulls away, and she gulps in another breath, hadn't realized she'd seriously depraved her lungs of air when she thought they were seconds away from being blown to pieces like the rest of the city. She pivots to look at the bomb again, still can't believe her eyes when she sees it there, intact. Kate brings a hand up to rake her fingers through her hair. Her head is pounding, body still trembling in fear, hasn't caught up to the fact that she's not about to die and she lets out a startling laugh when she sees Castle rub his hands over his face and point out at the bomb in victory.
"Yes!" He shouts, still can't seem to believe that he just defused a high-end explosive by pulling out the wires. Adrenaline continues to pump through her veins, her heart still racing, though not as painfully as it was moments before but he has her smiling and she isn't thinking when she lets her feet carry her across the small distance separating them; she just acts on pure, raw instinct, wrapping her arms around his neck once more, only this time she pulls him down and captures his lips with hers.
She's been thinking about his mouth for weeks, ever since their kiss in that alley. It was supposed to be nothing but a ruse, just a distraction for the guard – it's what she's been repeating to herself over and over every night when she closes her eyes and continues to be haunted by the memory of his devastating kiss.
He groans in surprise but doesn't pull away, tugs her in closer as his hands fist in the material of her coat, gripping her waist and she offers no resistance, revels in the heat his body emanates even through layers of clothing. Kate weaves her fingers through his hair, wishes she didn't have her gloves on so she could feel the softness under her fingers. She moans when he sucks her bottom lip into his mouth, laves it with his tongue after nipping it with his teeth and she lets her lower body grind down on the thigh he slips between her legs. The sweet friction sends flames licking up her spine and god, she wants him, has wanted him for so long and she sighs at the thought. He takes advantage of her open mouth to tangle his tongue with hers, drawing her body in, closer still-
"One-Lincoln-Forty, are you guys okay? ETA one minute." The crackling voice coming from the radio attached to her hip startles them apart. She recognizes the woman's voice from dispatch on the walkie-talkie and turns away from Castle who looks just as stunned as she does. Biting down on her bottom lip, she pulls the device up to her mouth.
"Dispatch, this is One-Lincoln-Forty, I think we managed to diffuse the bomb. We're okay."
She sighs and closes her eyes, still turned away from Castle and she can practically feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to say something.
Only, she doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know what happened. She just-
She kissed him. This wasn't his crazy idea, or a distraction tactic and while she may have been hit with a massive wave of adrenaline, she's the one who reached for him and initiated that kiss. There's no way she can deny it, not even to herself.
God, what was she even thinking? She has a boyfriend who just turned down a job to Haiti to be with her and she thought she was happy about that, thought it meant they had a chance of making things work.
But they never really stood a chance, did they? Not when the man standing right behind her, waiting for her to turn around and say something already has a piece of her heart.
Kate turns to face him and her heart stutters at the gentle smile lining his lips, the glimmer of hope in his eyes. She lets the corners of her mouth curl upward, taking a small step towards him.
"Castle-"
She's interrupted before she can even start by the ringing of her phone, recognizes Fallon's number across the screen and she knows she has to pick up. She gives Castle an apologetic look but she can see he understands. They did just stop the city from being blown to smithereens and she needs to inform her colleagues of what's happened.
He's disappointed when they don't get to ride back to the precinct alone together. He was looking forward to it, thought it would be the perfect moment to talk about what the hell happened after he stopped the bomb from going off. They drive Nazihah back to the precinct seeing as she was driving the van, but the bomb squad took hold of the vehicle. The ride is awkward and strained, his mind constantly flashing back to the way she pulled him in and kissed him, the way her body had listed into his, how she'd undulated against his hips. It has him clearing his throat more than once as he tries to dispel the images from his mind, focus on something else until they can talk about this properly.
He already knows it's no use. If he thought the soft moan she'd made during their first kiss was enough to fill his fantasies, he'd been wrong. He wants her now more than ever, more than he thought possible, and not just for a night. It's always been for more than just a night with her. He needs her to know that, needs her to know that he's pretty certain he's in love with her.
Shit, he is so screwed.
They give their statements when they arrive at the precinct, and then Montgomery is ushering their team into one of the conference rooms, offering them beers and claiming they all deserve it after the day they've had when Castle shoots him an inquisitive look. He shrugs and accepts the drinks from their captain: he can't argue with that.
They sit around the table and even though it's been over two hours since the whole thing went down, he still feels on edge, like he hasn't quite managed to catch his breath since the scare. Kate telling the story of how he managed to save them out of sheer luck helps though, has him smiling and leaning back against his chair, a little more relaxed.
"You know, the mayor wants to give you guys a medal," Montgomery informs them, pride in his eyes as he looks between the two of them. "I didn't have the heart to tell him you didn't have a clue what you were doing." Rick chuckles and the rest of them laugh. It's true, he really didn't know what the hell he was doing but he's so damn glad it worked.
"Captain's right," Espo pipes up when the laughter dies down. "You guys don't know how lucky you are."
He knows what Espo means, what he's trying to say, but he doesn't think it's true. He looks over at Kate, the smile fading from her lips as a more somber expression crosses her features and he thinks her mind takes her back to those few seconds before they thought they were going to die.
"Actually, I do," Rick counters, can't help the fact that the words ring true for so much more than just their survival. He may have inadvertently saved New York today, but he also got to kiss the woman who's haunted his dreams for longer than he can remember. Not just because of how beautiful she looks, or how she captures the rooms attention when she walks in. No, it's so much more than that now. It's because of how she's captivated him for years with her wit, her passion and fierce intellect; the way she keeps him on his toes and makes him want to be a better man. And he thinks they might finally get their shot.
So yeah, he thinks he knows just how lucky he is. He looks back at Kate, his lips curling upward when he sees her looking back at him with a shy smile.
He doesn't have time to say anything more before Fallon knocks on the door of the conference room, asking to talk with him and Beckett. He ends up thanking them and Castle finds himself thinking that maybe he's not such a bad guy underneath the front he puts up in order to compartmentalize and do his job. He has to agree with his partner though, he kind of hopes they don't have to work together again, if only for the fact that he doesn't ever want to get that close to a bomb again.
"Hey, if it does happen again, maybe you could just text me. Have a code word: run," Castle says, only half joking as Fallon walks away. He turns back towards Kate with a sigh but happy to see at least his attempt at a joke made her smile. It hasn't been around very often this past week, but he hasn't stopped trying to catch a glimpse of the white flash of her teeth, the crinkles around her eyes when her lips lift up, despite the severity of their case.
"Hell of a day, huh?"
"Hell of a day," she echoes, nodding and the can't help but notice how the royal blue of her sweater brings out the green and the stream of gold in her eyes. His mind flashes back to the flame surrounding her irises a few hours earlier, when she pulled him in for a kiss there's no way he could ever forget.
He can't help the way his gaze darts down to her lips, wishes he could taste her again right then and there and he thinks he sees the faintest hitch her in breathing, like maybe she's thinking about it too.
But they need to talk first because he needs to know what this all means, where it leaves them and if she really wants this.
"Do you think we could talk?" He asks, can hear the hope in his voice, and he really hopes he doesn't sound pathetic. He just wants to do this right. It takes her a second to answer but just when he's starting to panic, thinking he's gone about this all wrong, that he's managed to mess things up before they could even begin, he sees her nod shyly, tilting her head towards the interrogation room.
He smiles so wide his cheeks ache and he takes a step forward but the call of her name has his blood running cold.
"Katie," Josh calls, walking over to them and his chest tightens, his insides twisting and churning uncomfortably.
"Josh," Kate turns, apparently surprised to have him show up at the precinct and the burn of jealousy flares hotly in the pit of his stomach when he pulls her in close for a hug.
He waits for her to say something, to pull away but Kate returns the other man's embrace despite her surprise to see him. God, how could he have been so stupid?
Did he really manage to delude himself into believing that she'd leave her life-saving, motorcycle-riding, perfect boyfriend for him? If he's being honest, he hadn't even thought about Josh; he'd managed to conveniently forget about the fact that she wasn't free to even begin anything with him at all.
"I didn't know you were coming over?"
"I texted you earlier. Thought I'd surprise you since you didn't answer," Josh answers, shrugging and pulling her in close, tucking her into his side.
He realizes he's been staring at them, just standing there this whole time and the moment of self-awareness makes him feel like a fool.
Kate doesn't answer Josh's words but when she turns back to him, her words stab at his already punctured heart.
"Castle, could you just give us a minute?" she asks, her tone edging on something that sounds like pity and it sends a bucket of cold water down his spine, sobering him up. She doesn't want him. She's choosing Josh.
He knows how to put on a poker face, to act like nothing gets to him. Years of watching his mother on stage and a career involving faked smiles has taught him that at least.
"Of course," he says through gritted teeth, ignores the way his chest clenches tightly, or how a small voice in the back of his mind urges him to stay and fight for her. "I was just heading home anyway."
He turns on his heels, doesn't look back to give her or her boyfriend a chance to respond as he heads towards the elevator, the remains of his bruised and battered heart bleeding in his hands.