An ode to the completely pointless and stupid Self-insertion Tenchi fanfics by Nobu-chan. Tenchi and all related works except MY writing CR Pioneer Entertainment and AIC, Inc. and whoever else has stock in those places. Speaking of stock, don't have a cow when you read this! It's stupid, as the title implies.
Let's get Stupid Part One-- A surround-sake experience brought to you by Suntory, Japan's favorite whiskey-maker! Please do not drink during the consumption of this text. I'd smell your breath from here, plus it's just not cool. But you can if you want. Hey, who the hell cares, right?
One day a young man was typing happily away, yapping it up on IRC when his computer was suddenly spiked by a UNIX using genius with the username Washu.
"Zwa?" the young man puzzled as a hand reached from the screen. This was no mere spike! It was a full-blown impaling thingie! The hand grabbed at his shirt at pulled him towards the screen. "Hey, cool," the man thought, "I'm being pulled into a computer! There was a loud thonk as his head hit the screen.
"Oops," proclaimed a familiar voice, "I forgot to turn this thing on. Wait a sec, Nobu."
Nobu waited patiently as the hand relenquished it's hold temporarily, presumably to type something. Cool, he thought, I get to visit anime world.
"Sorry, it won't work," the voice spoke rather disdainfully. "Nevermind!" The username disappeared from the list.
"Ah, well... It was cool while it lasted." Nobu sighed. He stood and walked to the fridge for some asagohan (breakfast... blatant improper japanese use).
(author's note: too quick... I know! Crazy plot twist time!)
Suddenly, Nobu fell into a hole in the floor and fell directly into Aeka's bed, but quite lightly, actually. It was just enough to wake her. Aeka rolled over and went nose to nose with the stanger. She felt the hot breath on her face, and stirred. Nobu squeaked in anxiety. Oh, how the power logs would pain him, being just a poor anime boy was he. Aeka's eyes flutterd for a moment, then opened. Nobu let out a small "eep" as Ayeka stared at him for the longest while.
"And who are YOU?" Aeka inquired.
Nobu cringed as her mouth opened, assuming that a scream was imminent. He was surprised when the words actually clicked. "Uh, I'm... Nobuyuki." Nobu stammered.
"Nobuyuki. How strange... Master Masaki is downstairs."
"No, I'm Nobuyuki Kirtazumi, not Nobuyuki Masaki," Nobu explained.
"Oh. Well, in that case Nobu-chan..."
"Mm?"
"DIE!" Ayeka flew out of bed at powerblasted Nobu at will. Then she climbed back into the bed with the crispified Nobu. "There... Now that that's taken care of, why are you here?" The others had apparently not heard. Amazing considering there were fights every 2 seconds.
"geHhhh..." Nobu whined. this is *not* my day...
"Aw... Look, I'm sorry I did that. Is there any way I can make it up to you?"
There was a twinkle in Nobu's eye.
(145 minutes later...)
Aeka panted for air as Nobu sat up in the bed.
"Wow, Nobu, you're the best!" she chimed.
"I know," he said with an obvious lack of oxygen.
"Show me more," Aeka said as she rolled back onto his side of the bed.
(25 minutes later...)
Aeka fell back onto the bed. "No more..." she moaned.
"Ugh.. I'm done too..."
Ayeka held onto his shoulder. "Nobu-sama... you were great... I'm sorry I blasted you before."
"That's quite all right," Nobu assured her. "You read well too."
Nobu threw his book onto the floor.
"Although... In retrospect..."
"The book wasn't THAT funny. I don't know why I laughed so hard. I was completely out of breath," Aeka said.
"Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Well, what should we do now?"
Aeka twirled her hair. "Well, we could... You know..."
Nobu stared blankly at her. "No... We couldn't," he whimpered. He felt sorry for him already. "What about Tenchi?"
"Eh, old news. You're much better than he ever was."
Nobu stared as Ayeka pulled off her shirt. This was every otaku's dream. Well, almost every. Whoever wouldn't is an idiot, that's for sure.
"Take me, Nobu!" Aeka cried.
Nobu was dumbstruck. "Uhm... What...?"
End of Part One
Ha ha. Didn't think it was gonna happen did ya? Well, of course you did! But how do you know that wasn't just what Nobu wanted to happen? Mystery... Intrigue... Romance... Obsession... ...Calvin Klein...
By the way, any spelling errors= intended, any continuity problems= wanted, any flamemail= anticipated. ^_^
Let's get Stupid Part One-- A surround-sake experience brought to you by Suntory, Japan's favorite whiskey-maker! Please do not drink during the consumption of this text. I'd smell your breath from here, plus it's just not cool. But you can if you want. Hey, who the hell cares, right?
One day a young man was typing happily away, yapping it up on IRC when his computer was suddenly spiked by a UNIX using genius with the username Washu.
"Zwa?" the young man puzzled as a hand reached from the screen. This was no mere spike! It was a full-blown impaling thingie! The hand grabbed at his shirt at pulled him towards the screen. "Hey, cool," the man thought, "I'm being pulled into a computer! There was a loud thonk as his head hit the screen.
"Oops," proclaimed a familiar voice, "I forgot to turn this thing on. Wait a sec, Nobu."
Nobu waited patiently as the hand relenquished it's hold temporarily, presumably to type something. Cool, he thought, I get to visit anime world.
"Sorry, it won't work," the voice spoke rather disdainfully. "Nevermind!" The username disappeared from the list.
"Ah, well... It was cool while it lasted." Nobu sighed. He stood and walked to the fridge for some asagohan (breakfast... blatant improper japanese use).
(author's note: too quick... I know! Crazy plot twist time!)
Suddenly, Nobu fell into a hole in the floor and fell directly into Aeka's bed, but quite lightly, actually. It was just enough to wake her. Aeka rolled over and went nose to nose with the stanger. She felt the hot breath on her face, and stirred. Nobu squeaked in anxiety. Oh, how the power logs would pain him, being just a poor anime boy was he. Aeka's eyes flutterd for a moment, then opened. Nobu let out a small "eep" as Ayeka stared at him for the longest while.
"And who are YOU?" Aeka inquired.
Nobu cringed as her mouth opened, assuming that a scream was imminent. He was surprised when the words actually clicked. "Uh, I'm... Nobuyuki." Nobu stammered.
"Nobuyuki. How strange... Master Masaki is downstairs."
"No, I'm Nobuyuki Kirtazumi, not Nobuyuki Masaki," Nobu explained.
"Oh. Well, in that case Nobu-chan..."
"Mm?"
"DIE!" Ayeka flew out of bed at powerblasted Nobu at will. Then she climbed back into the bed with the crispified Nobu. "There... Now that that's taken care of, why are you here?" The others had apparently not heard. Amazing considering there were fights every 2 seconds.
"geHhhh..." Nobu whined. this is *not* my day...
"Aw... Look, I'm sorry I did that. Is there any way I can make it up to you?"
There was a twinkle in Nobu's eye.
(145 minutes later...)
Aeka panted for air as Nobu sat up in the bed.
"Wow, Nobu, you're the best!" she chimed.
"I know," he said with an obvious lack of oxygen.
"Show me more," Aeka said as she rolled back onto his side of the bed.
(25 minutes later...)
Aeka fell back onto the bed. "No more..." she moaned.
"Ugh.. I'm done too..."
Ayeka held onto his shoulder. "Nobu-sama... you were great... I'm sorry I blasted you before."
"That's quite all right," Nobu assured her. "You read well too."
Nobu threw his book onto the floor.
"Although... In retrospect..."
"The book wasn't THAT funny. I don't know why I laughed so hard. I was completely out of breath," Aeka said.
"Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Well, what should we do now?"
Aeka twirled her hair. "Well, we could... You know..."
Nobu stared blankly at her. "No... We couldn't," he whimpered. He felt sorry for him already. "What about Tenchi?"
"Eh, old news. You're much better than he ever was."
Nobu stared as Ayeka pulled off her shirt. This was every otaku's dream. Well, almost every. Whoever wouldn't is an idiot, that's for sure.
"Take me, Nobu!" Aeka cried.
Nobu was dumbstruck. "Uhm... What...?"
End of Part One
Ha ha. Didn't think it was gonna happen did ya? Well, of course you did! But how do you know that wasn't just what Nobu wanted to happen? Mystery... Intrigue... Romance... Obsession... ...Calvin Klein...
By the way, any spelling errors= intended, any continuity problems= wanted, any flamemail= anticipated. ^_^