As Anne stomped her way along the sand, her conversation…or lecture…from Rachel Lynde, was still flaming its way through her mind. It wasn't as if she herself hadn't wondered about such things herself, but to have to sit there and have such words circling around her, from Rachel of all people, was enough to make her want to run headlong into the waves, just so that she wouldn't have to think about this morning ever again.
The only thought that cooled her fury was the knowledge that she would soon be married to Gil. She had denied it for ages, but now she knew in her soul that only he could ever be her kindred spirit. When she thought of him, every indignation brought by Rachel became distant and unfocused. She was counting the hours until he was her husband.
"I should probably be crawling back home," she conceded aloud. "The house is a beehive right now, thanks to Diana and Rachel, and my absence will only make things harder for them." Giving one last appreciative smile at the ocean, she turned towards home and nearly crashed into Gil.
"Deciding to hurl yourself into the briny deep to save yourself from an unhappy fate, my darling?" Gil smirked with his hands on his hips. No one could tease her more cleverly than Gil. No one's teasing was more enjoyable than his.
"Well, I had thought of several ways to save myself. Hanging myself from the rafters was too dramatic, even for me, but the idea of being washed away by the tides to my watery death was quite appealing just now. Of course, Diana would be furious. She never would forgive me for interfering with her wedding organizing."
Anne didn't think that Gilbert's smile had ever been so bright and warm. He wasn't saying much, just savoring another moment of banter with his Anne as he faced her and extended his hand. "Sit with me a bit, will you? It's been a long time since we've had much time alone without someone flinging lace and ribbons and invitations at us."
To Anne, this sounded like the best idea she had heard in months. She plopped her slender self down where she stood, and Gil did the same next to her. Gil held her small hands in both of his and Anne leaned her head silently on his shoulder. They sat like this for ten minutes, both of them appreciating the quiet and the peace and the sound of the waves.
Gilbert was the first to speak. "Anne, I'm glad I found you. I know that the last few weeks of wedding planning has been hard on you. It's been hard on ME! I've been trying to keep an eye on you, making sure you are getting rest, and it seems like you haven't been getting much at all. I don't know how you could. Diana's house starts quaking at six am and they don't stop until midnight, and you, my lovely one, are at the center of all of it. I at least get to go home. I know it's wearing you. I haven't seen you eating much, either. So, I'm concerned a bit."
The tears were already rolling down Anne's face, and Gilbert reached into his pocket for a handkerchief. Anne took it in her hands and started folding it and unfolding it, over and over. "I have so many things to think about. All I want, all I truly want, is to be your wife and have the wedding be over. I know that this is Diana's joy in life, to plan parties, and she is my dearest sister, but all day long, people are chasing me, Gil. I tried to take a walk down the lane just to escape the constant scurrying of Diana and her mother, and before I'd been gone for five minutes, Fred was chasing me, saying that Diana was near hysterics looking for me."
Gilbert was silent. He took one of his hands off of Anne and wrapped it around her waist and pulled her closer. "I was so afraid it would be like this for you. I feel guilty. I should have just taken you away and married you and returned you to Avonlea as a married woman."
Anne tried to chuckle, but it sounded more melancholy than she wanted it to. "Gilbert, I know that this will all be fine. I'm just tired, and Diana is an angel, so is everyone else, I just…I'm tired."
Gil inhaled deeply and kissed her hair, "Anne, I promise that we just have mere hours to wait, and then this will be a memory. After the vows, I'll take you away in a flowery carriage and I'll save you from these hordes of people and we can start our life. Just you. Just me. The way it should be."
That sounded so good. Anne leaned in closer into him. She could hear his heartbeat. To her, he smelled like sunshine and soap and rubbing alcohol and hospital, but the deeper she breathed him in, the more she found her Gil. Then she thought of Rachel, and the reason she had fled to the shore. She lowered her head and rested it on Gil's shoulder again and clung to him, without talking. Gilbert allowed her to find comfort there, and let her rest for a while.
He finally whispered, "Anne, is there something I need to know? I know you are anxious for this to be over, and I know it has been hard, but am I getting this right? Is it just the wedding? Are you feeling well? When I found you here, you looked so pale. Please tell me if you're not well." He continued with a smirky smile in his voice, "Really, Carrots. You know, I am unusually qualified to make you feel better. Medical school was pretty thorough, and I scored very high marks." He tried to joke, but he was serious. She looked too tired and too lifeless for Anne Shirley.
"I'm just tired. When I get into bed, I try to sleep, but then I remember all of the things I promised to get done, and then I feel guilty for sleeping. Last night wasn't so bad, but this morning, when Rachel said….." She stopped talking and was angry at herself for bringing up Rachel.
"What did Rachel say to you this morning?" Gilbert pressed.
Anne did not want to share those stupid words with him. She knew he would be upset at such stupidity. She worried he would be upset that Anne gave them any heed at all.
Anne sat up on her knees and faced Gilbert. She wrapped both arms around him and kissed his neck. Gilbert took in a quick breath and enjoyed her closeness, but he murmured again, "what did Rachel say to you this morning?"
In between little kisses on his neck, Anne responded, "Rachel Lynde is someone that speaks without knowing her subject. She means well, but I don't think she is someone that I want to think about right now. Kiss me, Dr. Blythe."
Gilbert rose up to his knees and kissed Anne's cheek, her nose and her cheek again. He pressed himself closer to her and kissed her lips. She responded immediately and he couldn't help but deepen the kiss. He wanted to kiss her like this for hours. If they had already been married and if he had known for sure that no one was within five miles of them, he would have pulled her onto the sand and kissed her until the next day.
Anne started to feel weak and broke off the kiss, grabbed his strong, warm hand and laid herself down on the sand, like a piece of seaweed, closed her eyes and rested. Gil put his other hand over her eyes when he saw her squinting out the strong sun.
Gil sat down on the sand and said, "My darling Anne. I cannot wait until tomorrow, when we are official." He pulled one hand free and casually placed it on her wrist."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to find out what has put my almost wife into a state of I-don't-know-what. So, I'm doing what I learned in medical school and residency."
Anne managed a small laugh and said, "Fine, Dr. Blythe, just please let me rest while I can."
Her pulse was fairly normal, maybe a bit fast. but still acceptable. He counted her respirations and they were becoming slower and deeper. Her color was still paler than he thought it should be, and he announced, "Anne. I'm not marrying you until you share your heart with me about this morning. Clearly, Rachel has said something ignorant, and it has affected you. That means it has affected me. Please just tell me, Anne-girl." While he spoke, he pressed gently on several areas of her abdomen and watched for any signs of discomfort.
"Any pain or tenderness, Anne?" he asked.
"No, Gil. As I've said, I'm just overtired and a flustered soul right now. I just need some peace, not an operation, although it would be an honor to have Canada's finest surgeon give me one."
He pulled her wrist up to his lips to give it a tiny kiss, and then used both of his hands to feel the sides of her neck. "Your lymph glands aren't enlarged."
"Gilbert Blythe, stop!"
"I'd love to, Beloved, but since you won't tell me what's on your heart, I have to keep looking for clinical signs of disease. I believe I may have to get a blood sample and see if your lymphocytes or erythrocytes will tell me what Rachel did to distress you so, since you refuse. "
Anne pulled herself out of her recline in the sand and placed a hand on his cheek and whispered, "Gil, it is so outrageous and so discomforting that I would like to keep it where it belongs, crumbled up and discarded and soon to be forgotten. But thank you, though, for being the most attentive and Gilliest of Gils."
"My Anne, I am certainly going to have quite a life with you, aren't I? May I ask you a favor?"
"Gil, I would do anything for you. Anything, at anytime, anywhere."
"Then show me that you trust me with anything. I want…I need to know that you trust me."
Anne sat back down and drew designs in the sand and Gil sat down again next to her. "Gil, it's not that I didn't trust you with it. It's that it is so stupid, and I didn't want you to think that something THAT stupid could upset me. Do you understand?"
Gil nodded with such earnestness that Anne knew that she was going to have to prove that she trusted him. It was that important to him.
Anne looked out onto the water and said, "Rachel came over early this morning. I thought she was going to argue again with Diana about which teaspoons and fish forks should be used at the wedding breakfast, but she got that look in her eyes, the look that reminds me of a rampaging bull, and she said, 'Anne. It's my duty, in honor of Marilla, rest her soul, that I speak to you at once, while there is still time.'"
Next thing I knew, she had my hand in hers and she was marching me up to the guest room. She sat me down on my bed and sat across from me and said, 'I know you are excited about your blessed day tomorrow. No one can ever say that I don't speak my mind, and I think you are marrying a fine man…a fine, fine man. But I have to let you know, that men are men, and that Gilbert is a man like any other.'"
A look of indigestion started to wash over Gilbert, but he erased it from his face quickly. He wanted Anne to know that she truly could tell him anything. "Go, on."
Anne lowered her eyes and made smaller movements in the sand, transferring one pile of sand to the pile next to it. "She said that Marilla should be the one sitting with me, but even if she was still with us, she hadn't been married, so that it was obvious that she must be the one."
"Alright. I see. Keep on."
"It was so mortifying. The embarrassment of it all." Anne gasped, "She said that the wedding will be the best part of the day because what comes after will be anything but pleasant. She said that, as your wife, I must do the right thing and submit to you and your…God given rights and husbandly activities, but that it will be an opportunity to offer up the bodily pain in reparation for my past sins and that if I….lay there and remain still and repeat Psalm 23 in a prayerful way, I will emerge with only a small amount of bleeding and pain and I might be spared becoming with child for a few months. She said that 'it's them that struggles so hard the first time that the Lord increases right away.'"
Practicing the calm questioning that medical school had taught him, Gilbert asked, "Did she say anything else?"
"She said that she was sure, after living on a farm, that I had seen the goats and the other beasts during mating, and that it wasn't much different with men. She said to bite my lips together if I need to, that I mustn't move, and that I must know that there is a price to pay for being married. At that point, Gil, I ran out before my heart stopped beating from humiliation. Can you understand why I wanted to just not talk about this?"
"Anne. Anne-girl, I am so sorry that this happened to you. I don't know quite where to start. First of all, of course, I can understand that you were upset. I'm upset just listening to what was told to you. Rachel is unlike any other woman I have ever met. I…I…want the wedding to be over so that we can start our lives together, just like you do. And I can understand how, as tired as you are, this must have felt like the straw that broke the camel's back."
Anne leaned into him and started to get up. Gil carefully placed her back on the sand next to her. "Anne, just one more moment?"
"Of course, Gil. I just thought the bloodhounds might be released on me soon if I don't return to the generals at army wedding headquarters."
Quietly, Gilbert whispered, "I can't let you leave this beautiful beach without saying this. You must know that I would never, ever want you to think of our marriage bed as a place of pain and terror, as Rachel told you. It might have been like that for Thomas and her, and…the… knowledge… that I have of this is derived from clinical lectures and actual cases, but I do love you and I admit that I have thought of this part of our life. I admit that I have thought of it more as the wedding draws closer. Every hair on your head, every freckle, every crazy thought you have, is loved by me. Anything that happens after the ceremony, and I will leave whatever that is up to you, is going to be done with me making sure everything is fine for you. I am not an animal on a farm. I am going to be your husband and your doctor and the father of your children, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. That's how much I love you. Remember how hard I fought for you? Remember what I put up with for so many years? That was because I can't live without you next to me, and I'm not going to do anything unless it is good for you."
There was nothing Anne could do that would be more appropriate than kissing him deeply and running her hands through his curls. She wanted, just then, to do that, and to do that all afternoon.
"Should we talk more about this now, or should we get you back?" Gil queried when he finally broke the kiss.
"I don't know, Dr. Gilbert Blythe, but I wish that you had come to speak with me this morning, instead of Dr. Rachel Lynde," Anne laughed.
"Well, I'll say that Dr. Blythe is thrilled that you have some more color in your cheeks. That's for sure, Anne. And I want to say this before we head back. Yes, many ladies do have pain, and some do bleed at the beginning, but I also know that there are things that can be done to prevent this, and I know this may embarrass you, so I'll stop, but I do know what those things are. As far as children are concerned, that is a big question. And we can take this slowly. And we can talk more. Mostly, thank you for telling me what you were afraid to tell me. I had to know. I'm glad you did."
They walked together to the house, arm and arm. Gil poured Anne a glass of milk and cut her some cheese and an apple, while Diana and Rachel went over the serving schedule, and he talked to her while she ate. If it had been appropriate, he would have sat her on his lap while she snacked. Anne is strong, Gilbert knew, probably the strongest woman he had ever known, but everyone had their limits and he didn't want her to become ill with worry of any kind.
He stayed later than usual, and when he decided it was time for her to sleep, he kissed her sweetly on the stairs and then ordered her to bed. "Tomorrow, you are my wife," he whispered, "and we won't have to leave each other at the end of the day, and we are going to be happy and rear a good family, and we will laugh and imagine and be together. And I expect you to sleep a full eight hours. Doctor's orders! Actually, what if I go home and get you something to make sure you do what I say? I'll bring something very mild that won't overly sedate you. It will take me five minutes." He kissed her check and turned to go.
Anne saw him giving this thought fertile ground and she grabbed him by both shoulders. "You will not come back to this house and drug me so that I sleep, Dr, Blythe! I am going to crawl into my bed and sleep like a rock. And you, my beloved, will see me tomorrow, under a bower of beautiful blooms, and we will get married. Good night."
Anne did sleep, and it was Gilbert who didn't find rest. He was furious at Rachel for upsetting Anne and assuming that he would brutalize her on their first night together. He knew she didn't mean it that way, but Anne was physically much smaller than him, and while she was fiery and spirited, she also deserved the most glorious and careful wedding night possible. He would hate himself for hurting or tearing her. His mind flashed back to the patient in Halifax who had been attacked by her drunken husband on their wedding night, and was injured so badly that she had required surgery to stop the bleeding.
When it was three am, and sleep remained elusive, he found a textbook on female health. He had long since passed the course, but if he had insomnia, he might as well read something that suddenly was of personal interest.
They both woke early on their wedding day, and while they were a mile away from each other, they both spent some time thinking about memories that were common to them. They were congratulated by both of their families and fed huge breakfasts that were nibbled instead of devoured. At 9:30, Anne was helped into her gown and Diana re-arranged her veil five times so that the lace and the ivy and the white baby roses all were bunched the way Diana had envisioned.
Gilbert's father shook his hand with pride as his voice quivered and said, "You will be an excellent husband and father. I could never imagine the amount of pride that you have brought me. Anne is so fortunate to have you. We all are. I wish Marilla could be here, but I honestly feel that she and Matthew will both be watching this wedding and will be happy that you are going to take care of their Anne."
"Anything that I have done that is good or honorable, I learned from you, Dad. Thank you for everything you did to help me get through my education. I hope that I am as good a father as you are."
Mr. Blythe's eyes got a little misty and he rubbed them dry with his sleeve. He suggested that they both get over to Diana's house as she was liable to send out the constable if they didn't get there soon.
No matter how many guests floated into their chairs, no matter how many flowers were strung and how many ribbons were tied, Anne could only look at Gilbert when she walked down the aisle, and Gilbert had to breathe deeply to keep steady on his feet as he watched her. When the minister pronounced them man and wife, he was living his dream, finally. They were married.
When they ran through a shower of rice hurled at them by their guests, they hugged and kissed their people, and they slid next to each other across the buggy seat and squeezed each other's hands. Family and friends were shouting congratulations to them, but neither of them heard. It was finally done, and they knew it was right.
There would be no wedding tour right away. They really didn't have time for one. Gilbert needed to take over the practice in Glen Saint Mary as soon as possible, and there was still equipment that needed to be ordered and boxes to be put away. The office was fairly well-stocked, but Gil was used to new and high quality equipment at the hospital and he wanted the best for his patients.
The ride to Glen Saint Mary seemed to fly by, and when Gil carried her over their threshold of their new home, Anne was amazed that the morning was already over. Neighbors that Gil had met while working at the house had brought over a warm chicken dinner and a loaf of bread that was still toasty, along with fresh butter, a huge chocolate layer cake and an earthenware pitcher of lemonade. The fire was already set and there was a lovely quilt wrapped in a tidy green bow resting on the hearth. Gil opened the small card and it read, "Welcome home to Dr. and Mrs. Blythe, with warm regards from your new neighbors." They were both touched.
"Shall I show you around, Mrs. Blythe?"
"That would be lovely, Dr. Blythe."
Each room was sweet and clean and several wedding gifts had already been moved in during the past week. Gil had been careful to leave the windows open after he had painted each room. There was only a small hint of fresh paint smell.
This was Anne's home. Gil had told her a lot about it, but as they toured together, she asked God to burn these memories into her heart of their first moments in their new home.
The last room he escorted her into was their bedroom. It was upstairs with a fireplace and burning embers shedding light on the dark walnut furniture. The large window had a view of a massive tree and one could sit on the bed and see the flowers that Gil had asked a gardener to plant blooming in their beds. Gil looked at Anne's face for signs of tension connected to yesterday's talk as they surveyed their bedroom together, and he didn't see any. He suggested that they go downstairs and have a cool drink of lemonade and some of that warm, crusty bread with fresh butter. They had already missed lunch and it was approaching suppertime.
After their snack, Gil suggested a walk outside. The air was so extra fresh that Anne and he both inhaled deeply. They could smell the ocean and they saw nearby trees that were so large that they both craned their neck to see the tops. Gil had one more surprise for his Anne-Girl. He grinned and said, "Come on. I have another surprise for you."
She walked slowly on his arm and he made his way to the backyard. There was a lovely, grand tree in the corner of the yard that shaded the whole back of their house, and hanging from it were new marine ropes and a piece of teakwood that was fashioned into a garden swing. "Hop on, Mrs. Blythe. I hoped that you would like this part of your new home." Anne scampered to the swing and started to trip on an ancient tree root, but caught herself and sat down.
"Push me, Gil." He grabbed the teak seat and gave a healthy push. The arc cut by the swing was grand and low and she beamed. She began to slow herself down after a moment because, as much as she loved the swing, she wanted to hold his hands much more. They were warm and strong and capable.
They found their way back into their little house and Gil excused himself to the restroom. Anne looked around the kitchen and moved some canisters into locations of which Marilla would have approved. She was surprised that the icebox had fresh ice in it and a supply of thick cut bacon and a basket of eggs, and someone had already stocked onions and potatoes in the root pantry. There was even a set of red glass spice jars filled to their tops with cinnamon and cloves and ginger. Gil must have many people wanting him to feel welcome in his new town, she thought. When she turned and noticed the bouquet of irises and lilies on the buffet server, she felt overwhelmed with good fortune.
She heard Gil clearing his throat and she turned around. "Surveying the ramparts of your hard-won castle, dearest?"
"Everything is just so…so…beyond what I even imagined, Gilbert. This is our home, now. Not Diana's, not Marilla's, not your father's. It's ours. And it's perfect."
"I'm so happy you like it, Anne. Are you hungry? Someone must have snuck in here this morning and stocked the icebox."
"Not only that, Gil, but they filled the canisters, these spice jars, brought flowers, and just now I saw these embroidered kitchen towels sitting here. I feel like I've lived here for years, and it's been two hours."
"It's a good home, Anne. And you didn't answer me when I asked if you were hungry," Gil responded.
"Are you hungry, my Gilliest of Gils?"
"Not really. More thirsty than anything. I'll have a large glass of lemonade and maybe some more bread."
"I'm not hungry, but I am thirsty. That fresh bread smell is intoxicating. I plan on making you good bread, with Marilla's special recipe, everyday if I can."
Gilbert brought her a glass of lemonade and a huge slice of bread for himself and said, "Mrs. Blythe, I simply can't wait."
Anne involuntarily yawned and Gilbert didn't miss it. "You, Mrs. Blythe, are exhausted. Come here, please. Gilbert put down the bread and wiped his hands on his napkin. He pulled her into his lap and held her closely.
"Anne," he whispered as he kissed the back of her neck, "I think we should prepare for bed. I know you are tired, and I am comfortable with simply falling asleep, and we can…we could…do…more at another time…tomorrow if you want. Does that sound fine?"
Anne let Gilbert kiss her neck for another moment and said, "Gil. I love you and I am very anxious to prepare for…to… prepare for bed. She pulled away so she could kiss him on his lips and they were so incredibly soft and ready for her. The more she kissed him, the more he kissed back. She stood up and reached for his hand and together they made their way up the staircase in their house of dreams. She would never walk up that staircase again as the same person. The next time, she thought, she would know what it was like to have been with a man. Her husband.
Gilbert had already put out their toothbrushes and the dentifrice powder and he quickly brushed his teeth and washed his face. He told Anne that he needed to check the fire downstairs, but Anne knew that he had already checked it. He was a dear man and he purposely was giving her time to prepare for their wedding bed.
Anne used the time to brush her teeth and wash her face as well, and then she brushed her hair in the mirror until she was happy with its shine. "Orange," she sighed. "Why not nut brown or dark sable or honey blonde?"
She reached into her smallest traveling bag, and found a small bottle of lavender water. She sprayed some on her hair; she knew that lavender was one of his favorites. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered if she would look different in the morning. She chastised herself for being such a goose. Giving her hair one more brush and pinching her cheeks, she slipped on the pale peach nightdress that Diana had ordered her from Charlottetown. It was softer than anything she had ever owned, and she suddenly giggled, wondering what Marilla would think of "such frivolity." She shivered when she imagined Marilla watching her…in this gown…with Gilbert.
"STOP," she told herself harshly. "This is Gil. You are scandalously in love with him. This is a wonderful night, and it is supposed to happen. You want Gil. You want Gil to do it."
She closed the door to the small bathroom and walked softly to the bedroom. Gil wasn't in there. Not sure entirely what to do, Anne pulled the quilt down and patted the pillow. It was soft, and smelled like homemade soap. She sat in the bed and pulled the quilt over her.
Gil walked in softly. He must have stopped in the bathroom on his way upstairs; he was wearing his nightshirt now, and he smiled softly as he approached the bed. Leaving the nightstand lamp on, he crawled next to Anne and rolled to his side, facing her. "Come here, Anne" he murmured. He lightly traced her arm and kissed her softly at first and then more deeply. He brushed the tip of his tongue along her lower lip while he traced her arm. She placed her hand on his face and traced his jaw with her fair-skinned hand. He breathed in deeply and said, "Anne, you are my love."
She had never been so physically close to Gilbert. Ever. They had hugged, of course, and he had kissed her often, but he had never flattened his entire body against hers, and there was only fabric separating them now. She could feel his warm muscles. She bravely moved her foot so she could touch his leg without his wool trousers. It was such a shy thing to do, but it showed Gilbert that she wanted to touch him. Wordlessly, she let him know that she trusted him.
Gilbert sniffed her hair and whispered, "Lavender?" Anne grinned and said, "I thought you might like it. You could imagine yourself with a kidnapped princess locked in a tower and guarded by dozens of angry Spaniards searching for their stores of amethyst lavender blooms."
Laughing out loud, he moved his hand from her arm to her ribs, resting it there lightly. He wanted to go slowly so she had time to tell him if she wanted to stop. He understood the mechanics of what needed to happen, but he knew they had hours if they needed them.
Feeling his arm on her side, she subtly moved closer to him. She continued to be amazed that after all of these years, she was sharing a marriage bed with Gilbert Blythe.
"Anne, darling, may I say something?"
"Well, if you dare say that you are sorry you have married me, I am going to break the nightstand lamp over your head," she breathed. He moved his mouth to hers and kissed her languorously.
"When we were talking on the beach yesterday, and you were talking about…tonight…you mentioned something that I'd like to talk over with you. I wasn't comfortable talking about it yesterday, but I think that now is a better time. May I?"
Anne put her hands on his chest, feeling how warm it was through his nightshirt. It felt so nice. "Gilbert, kindred spirits always find time to share their deepest thoughts."
He kissed her jaw and traveled his lips to her cheek. "Anne, if we continue with this tonight, you know there is a chance a child could come. I know that we both want children, but I wasn't sure if you wanted to start so early in our marriage. I could try to lower the chances of it happening."
"Gil, if a child comes soon, then I will be the happiest wife in the world. Would you be happy, though? Would you hate coming home to a wife as big as a house?"
Gil put both hands tenderly on her cheeks and said, "I would love to come home to a wife as big as a house, as long as you are the wife." His large hand drifted across her abdomen without saying a word. He kissed her again, and wrapped himself around her and placed both of his hands lower on her back then he ever had and after a moment he murmured, "Anne, would you think I'm terrible if I asked if I could see you?"
Anne didn't say a word, but the love and trust written on her face said it all. She pulled the quilt up near her shoulders and undid the buttons around the neck of her nightgown. Gilbert couldn't stop himself from helping her as she tried to pull the hem towards her chest. "Anne-girl, may I?" he whispered.
Anne reclined herself as Gilbert took over the task of lifting her nightgown over her head. She wiggled in the fabric so it would slip more easily. The peach had been a perfect color with her skin and hair. When it was finally just her and the quilt, he caressed her arms and stomach again, and took time to kiss her neck and her jawline and finally, her lips. Dr. Blythe carefully lowered the quilt a few inches to where her breasts began to rise out of her chest. He grazed one finger along her skin, and muttered, "So soft."
Gil held her again and waited another couple of minutes until he asked, "May I lower the covers some more?"
He moved himself closer to Anne so that she didn't have to be so cold while he gazed at a little more of her body. This time, almost all of one of Anne's breasts came into view. All of Gilbert's imaginings did not prepare him for the reality of Anne's body. The look on his face was adoring as he lightly touched her shoulder.
"Are you cold, Anne?" "I'm fine, Gil. Can you move closer to me?" she said quietly. He moved closer to her and put his top leg over hers and rubbed his hand down her porcelain shoulder and down her flank to her side. He didn't lower the blanket any more, but he did lift it so he could see the rest of her. These parts had never seen the sun, and to him, they were the color of cream colored roses. There was so much he wanted to do, and he had to remember that they had all night and he had promised himself to go slowly.
Seeing her undressed made him realize how truly tiny her body was. He knew that he wasn't a small man and he was determined to make this comfortable for her.
Gilbert cradled her in his arms and continued to kiss her mouth and whisper kind words to her and he slowly moved one of his hands down from her back and across her naked bottom. She inhaled quickly, and he could tell that it wasn't a sound of discomfort. She responded by placing her face next to his. He brought his other hand down to meet the other and brushed them both up and down her back and buttocks over and over, cupping them like they were his personal treasure.
"Gilbert, my love, may I ask you something?" Anne questioned very softly.
"Of course."
"Could you, could I, would it be possible for you to remove your night shirt?"
"Yes."
Gil brought his hand down over Anne's breasts and over her stomach, and pulled his night shirt up and over his head. Anne had never seen him without his shirt and she wanted to touch his chest. She didn't mean to, but her hand grazed his nipple accidentally as she shifted in their bed, and his eyes closed for moment and he exhaled slowly. Anne felt much more comfortable now that she wasn't the only one without clothing.
He moved himself back down to where Anne was laying and she put her hands on his chest while he placed his on her back. "Are my hands cold, Anne-girl?"
"No. Are mine, though?"
Dr. Blythe shook his head no, and moved his hand from Anne's shoulder to where Anne's small, but beautiful, breast began to rise from her chest. He felt it and kissed the creaminess of her skin, but he avoided the pale pink center. His goal was to be slow and let her gradually tune her responses to his progressions.
She liked what he had done and she turned her body so that he could examine and minister to the other side. This was unlike anything she had expected, but it was grand. And the grandness was coming from Gilbert Blythe.
He looked at her with a question in his eyes, and Anne understood the wordless inquiry. When she nodded her head and ran her fingers through his curls, he leaned over and wrapped his hand carefully around her right breast. He lowered his head to it, and softly blew on it to warm it. With exquisite care, he took the very tip of his tongue and traced a circle ever so softly around the base of her nipple. She didn't realize it at first, but she had lifted her back up off of the mattress and brought her breast into better contact with his smooth textured lips. Knowing she accepted this new activity, his tongue lingered on the breast and looking up into her eyes to check first, he circled his mouth around the raised, pink little bump and suckled it for a moment. He was careful to not suck too hard, but just enough to try it.
"Was that okay, sweetheart? Do you mind if I do that?" he whispered into her hair.
"I don't mind. It felt like it should happen with us."
Kissing her mouth and inserting his tongue to stroke hers, his hand again rubbed from her shoulder down to her thigh and back up again.
Leaving his hands where they were, he circled her left breast and blew and warmed and traced and suckled it, just as he had the right ,tiny rosebud.
Dr. Blythe knew he had been hard for a while now, but he also knew he could continue with his foreplay, without worry of losing his erection. He didn't need any attention to make this a success, because she was his priority. Men could be ready at the drop of a hat, so his professors had taught. Women were different in their adjustment.
"Everything still okay, lovely Anne?" he breathed.
"Everything is fine, Gilbert. Everything is fine" she echoed back in the softest of voices. If she was embarrassed or unhappy with his actions, he didn't find any evidence in her eyes or voice.
Sucking each tiny nipple one more time, his hands urged her to lie flat on her back. He brought the quilt up higher around them in case she felt a draft. Now that she was flat before him, he brought his hand down to her hip, and rubbed her hip, her upper leg and then her hip again. He whispered, "Anne, I'm going to move your leg just a bit now."
She didn't know what was going to happen next, but she didn't countenance any fear of it. She just knew that he was adjusting the leg farthest from him by gently moving it a few inches away from her other leg. He kept his eyes on her face. He would look at her lower body soon, but he was sensitive to any possible embarrassment that could creep into her. They had known each other, yes, for years. But adjusting to being seen unclothed by a man wasn't something that should be rushed. He knew he had plenty of time to study her body.
Young Dr. Blythe noticed that she hadn't slid her legs back together, and he took that as a sign of her trust and comfort with him, and he kissed her mouth, then the center of her chest, and then her mouth again. "Anne, are you still fine?" he asked.
"Yes," she said while she exhaled.
"I love you. I'm going to move your other leg, just a bit, okay?" She nodded and held his dark curls between her hands while he breathed on his hands to warm them again and then used both of them to slowly inch her knee a wee bit further apart from her other leg.
"I'd like to touch you. May I?" Gil asked while taking both of her hands into his.
Anne was feeling so many feelings at once that she merely nodded. She was slightly embarrassed that Gil was going to touch her down there and possibly look, but at the same time, she was enjoying this with him. She wasn't exactly sure which feeling was the strongest at the moment.
To warm her, he laid on his side nearest to her, and she remained supine. He brushed his hand over her lovely abdomen and once quickly over her private curls and rested his hand on her inner thigh, tracing circles lightly on it. He rubbed one thigh for a moment and then the other. Then, inhaling quietly, he placed the flat of his hand across her entrance and rested it there, so she could accustom herself to the feeling of him near her untouched self. He followed that with a kiss on her cheek and her eyes and her lips. It was as he lay at her side that Anne first felt a warm, firm presence bumping her near her side. Gilbert inched a bit away from her, and the hard presence was gone.
Keeping his eyes glued to hers, he shifted his hand and took his forefinger and traced the junction where her legs met her feminine part and he softly stroked the skin. He hoped his hand wasn't cold.
If Anne was embarrassed, her face didn't show it. Gilbert told her how beautiful she felt and how soft she was and how well she was doing and he continued to touch her where no one ever had. He moved his forefinger again and was pleased to feel warm moisture around her vagina. Everything he had learned and studied made that an important observation of a good husband.
Looking at her again, he took her in both of his arms and kissed her shoulders and then her lips. She kissed him back with determination. He repositioned her in her former stance and took the same finger and touched her center again. He said in his quietest voice ever, "Anne, I'm going to do what I can to make the rest of this comfortable for you. Let me know if anything hurts. Let me know. Promise, Anne-girl?"
Anne nodded her head. Keeping his eyes focused on hers, Gilbert used his pinky finger to locate that same pool of wetness between her small legs. When he found it, he traced it back to its origin and instantly connected with his medical training. He spread her with one gentle finger and slipped the pinky a tiny bit into her. He slowly felt for any resistance and edged his finger into her up to his fingernail. Anne's face was a bit red, but she gave him a small smile and a quick, nervous nod. This was so new for her, but she wanted him to continue. She was afraid he would stop if he thought she was ill at ease.
Gil knew that this would feel foreign to her, but before he could ask her to take all of him into her, the doctor in him wanted to examine and feel and, yes, stretch her, if he could. He kissed her neck and whispered sweet words into her ear as he worked his finger another half inch into her. He noted how tight she felt against him and he began to worry if he would ever be able to move into her as her husband. He took to heart what he had read in the wee hours of last night. The book had assured him that it is very normal to encounter resistance in an untouched woman and the resistance can be overcome one way or another.
He felt Anne separate her legs another fraction of an inch and he continued to creep his smallest finger another small bit forward, and when he rearranged his hand to avoid a cramp, his finger moved vertically and he realized that he had jostled his hand inside her. "Did that hurt you, my love? What I just did, did I hurt you?" he worried.
"No, Gil. I felt you, but there wasn't pain," she assured. That wasn't actually true. She had felt some pain when he suddenly turned his finger, but it wasn't horrible and she didn't want him to be upset.
Anne put her hands around his shoulders and he wordlessly slid another tiny half of an inch up inside her. She nodded and urged him on, and after the next inch, he met her barrier.
He had wondered if the fall off of Moody Spurgeon's ridgepole years earlier would have disrupted the maidenhead he was touching now, but its strength was apparent and it was clearly intact. Being the doctor he was, he carefully felt for any disruption, any tiny area where there could be a large hole.
"Sweetheart, I can feel some tissue that could be painful later. It's tissue that I would expect to find, and it's normal for you to have. Give me a moment so I can feel it for just a moment, and I need you to tell me if I am hurting you. Will you promise?"
She nodded.
He withdrew his smallest finger and blew on his middle finger to make sure it wasn't cold. She could see that this finger was substantially larger than the other, but she said nothing. He sought out the same wetness as before and moved half of an inch back up into her. This finger was noticeably thicker and she was starting to feel pulled. She didn't tell Gil. She trusted that he was doing what he had to.
She concealed her discomfort, but that was unnecessary because Gil had shut his eyes. He looked very much like a doctor right then. He used his free hand to move her thighs apart and he kissed her chin. He pushed this new finger up to the tissue that he had felt earlier. This finger was not only thicker, but stronger than the other and he wanted desperately to move the tissue painlessly out of the way or somehow make it disappear with his forefinger. What he least wanted to do was to break it by force. As the seconds ticked by, he realized that his choices were limited. He could force his finger against it to disrupt it. That would be painful since Anne's walls wouldn't be sufficiently stretched to numbness by just his forefinger. He could stop now and sedate Anne tomorrow and try to nick enough of it with a scalpel to allow normal penetration, but that would be more traumatic for her, or he could do what husbands had done for eons and break her with his erection.
Opening his eyes, he took her in his arms and held her close. "Sweet one, the tissue that I was feeling is not moving. If you want to continue, I will be as careful as I can, but I think you can expect some initial pain. What would you like to do?"
She kissed his neck and said, "I want to do this. I want you to do this."
He knew that he was still erect and he wanted her to continue to be moist. He ran his hands around her nipples and noticed that they, too, were erect. He licked each one and he sucked on each of them. He liked it more than he thought, and he was pleased that she seemed to respond nicely to it.
"Okay, Anne, ready?" He urged her more to the center of their bed and he held her left hand in hers. When she was where he wanted her, he lowered himself on top of her. By this time, the quilt had been pushed near their waists, and if he thought she was cold, he would have brought it around her, but he left it where it was. He was careful not to make her bear all of his weight on her body, and he divided some of it by resting on his elbows and framing her face with his hands. He kissed her deeply and lovingly.
Then he inhaled, then kissed her again and took his right hand to position himself between her legs and outside of her private part. He stoked her with himself where some wetness was and felt for the opening with his erection. He was much larger than the opening. He knew that from moments ago, but it was even more obvious now.
He whispered into her ear, "Anne, I'm going to do this nice and slow. Ready?"
"Alright."
His first nudge was already difficult. There was no way to penetrate her without pushing with more force than he wanted. He felt himself push past her lips and he watched her eyes get noticeably wider.
"Little bit more, alright?" he breathed while giving her a quick kiss on her cheek.
Anne nodded and placed her hands on his back. He was so warm and strong.
He moved by millimeters within her, and Anne thought that spreading her legs more apart might make this more comfortable. It didn't help her, but it gave Gil more room to access what he needed.
Gil dropped his head near Anne's shoulder and she put her arms around his neck and pulled his head tighter onto her shoulder. She knew that he couldn't see her this way, and that way, he could do what he had to without seeing her face.
He backed himself out a tiny bit and stayed very still, and then he pushed more of himself inside her until he was flush against the guarding tissue. He whispered, "Anne, I'm going to do it fast. I'm so sorry. Do you still want me to?
Anne took a breath and pulled him as close as she could with her hands so her tears remained private. The burning from Gilbert's pushing was so foreign and the stretch of it felt like flesh tearing. She couldn't imagine what the next seconds held. She loved him, and she trusted him, but she was beginning to feel that this pain couldn't be normal. She really had no idea if it was normal or not.
Gil was tempted to move slowly, as if that would convince her untried canal to admit him, and he wanted to move slowly, but when it came to breaking healthy, strong tissue, his training told him that his only kind choice was to get the worst pain over with, and spend the next moments easing it.
He whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," and with that, Anne felt Gil push all of himself through the skin inside of her, and his inertia was so strong that he had to stop himself once he was sure he had broken her. He didn't want to rip her and then crash into her cervix in the same thrust. Rachel's earlier words were buzzing in his ears.
Anne clung to him and told him, "I'm okay, Gil. It's okay. And while she tried to lock his head in place so he couldn't see the tears sliding down her cheeks, he unwrapped himself from her arms. He dearly wanted to see her face.
Seeing her tears, Gil said, "Anne, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We can stop. I think we need to for now."
"There's no need to stop. I don't want you to. I want you to finish. Please?"
Gil felt terrible. Anne had shed tears and his goal had been to avoid that at all costs. She nodded to him. He kissed her hair and her forehead. She nodded at him again and said, "Please, Gil. I won't be happy until we finish this"
He positioned himself again and rubbed her raw, sensitive tissue with his warm, smooth erection and again, more slowly, pushed all of the way in. He waited for thirty seconds and kissed her face all the while, and at a slow rate, withdrew a small length and pushed himself back all the way until he could feel the end of her birth canal. She was laid open before him, and she was his. That hardened him further and he slid back and forth. He knew her well, and he knew that she wouldn't be satisfied if he didn't do what she asked of him. He began to increase his speed, and after four of five more long strokes, he gasped in the ecstasy that being in Anne had brought, and he tried to subdue himself and pump more gently as his seed traveled into her.
He kissed her and wrapped her up in his arms as his heartbeat began to return to normal. She was flushed, and her face glistened with beads of sweat on her forehead and upper lip.
"How bad is it, Anne. Tell me" Gilbert asked softly.
"I'm fine. Just an adjustment. Feel free to hold me though," she murmured. Inside of her heart, she wanted to hold herself down there and somehow calm the pain that continued to quake through her. If she touched herself, he would notice and he would worry the rest of the night. She loved him. Any amount of pain was worth it for him. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved Gil and any pain from intercourse with him was infinitesimal compared to that. Even if it always hurt, every time, for the rest of their lives, she would continue to be with him this way.
Gilbert held her and caressed her shoulders and her arms and murmured over and over, "I'm so sorry, Anne-girl. I didn't want it to be that way. Can I check you? I need to check you." He started to roll her onto her back and Anne put her hand on his chest. "Gilbert, could you wait just a moment? I'd like to enjoy being held just now."
Gil would do anything for her, and this request was eagerly satisfied. Gilbert, being Gilbert, still broke off his embrace after a few moments and gently laid her on her back. "I'm checking." She could tell by his tone of voice that asking him not to was pointless.
"I'm fine, Gil."
Anne was feeling very tired and she didn't want to argue with him. She was going to allow Gilbert to do whatever her felt compelled to do. He turned both bedside lamps up, and pulled down the quilt that Anne had wrapped herself in, but he still managed to keep her semi-covered. He carefully laid her peach nightgown across her torso to give her a feeling of privacy and gently nudged apart her closed legs. Milky-white liquid had smeared itself across her inner thighs and mixed through it were dark burgundy streaks and bright red ones. There was more bright red blood than dark crimson.
She yawned and her eyes drifted closed as she laid her hand on his shoulder. Careful to let her drift off to sleep, if she was close to that, he tread softly to the bathroom. He ran the tap until it was medium warm and filled a china basin with water and took it, and a washcloth, back into their room. He kissed her and murmured, just in case she was still partially awake, "Anne, you are going to feel some warm water. Fall asleep, my angel, and I'll hold you until it's morning. I love you, Mrs. Blythe. Go ahead and sleep, alright?"
"I love you, too. You need to go to sleep," she answered drowsily. Gilbert made sure the cloth wasn't too wet, and he cleaned his semen and blood off of her. When he was finished, he wrung out the cloth he laid it against her, knowing the warmth would soothe her tissues. He stayed up most of the night, changing the washcloth and holding and kissing and checking every once in a while for more bright red blood.
When the sun was still hours away from making its appearance, Anne woke and needed to visit the restroom. "Stupid lemonade," she thought. As she rolled out of Gilbert's arms, she saw a red stain where she had been resting. She stood up and felt a pull from the bottom of her thighs up to her chest. The burning feeling wasn't as acute, but there was definitely a sense of something unusual. When she crawled back into bed, she saw the basin and the washcloth lying in the bed. She placed the damp cloth back into the basin and wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep.
She had been dozing steadily, when she became aware that Gilbert was awake. He seemed to be trying to kiss her cheek without waking her. She kept her eyes closed but smiled when his lips came close to her cheek again.
"I can see you are awake, oh lovely wife," he grinned.
"Yes, Dr. Blythe. I am happy, and awake and ready for a full day of marriage."
"How are you?" he asked.
"I'm fine. How are you?" she replied.
"I was hoping you were feeling well. I'd feel better if you let me check you again. I'd feel less guilty today if you let me. I know that I hurt you last night," Gil continued.
"For the time being, I would very much like some breakfast. And then I would like to sit in my swing and look at my flowers and see what they look like in the early morning!"
"I can see that today will be filled with lots of activity. I don't have anything too urgent, except for driving into town to pick up two shipments that Mr. Daed is holding for me. What if we rested for just a bit more, it's still early, and ate some breakfast, and then went into town. There are probably some things that you would like to shop for."
"I would love that! Our first trip to town as an old married couple…I'll have to look extra nice for the townspeople who will be inspecting me!" Anne teased.
Anne had returned to the large bed and was thrilled that from it, she could see so much of their yard. As she pulled the covers aside so she could crawl back in, she tried to hide the larger blood stain on the sheet as soon as she could. Gilbert was still affected by last night, and she certainly didn't want him to perseverate on the whole thing.
It was nice to just lie down and hold hands after a long few days. Neither of them said much, probably because they were so exhausted. Gil and Anne were so close that simply resting their eyes and feeling each other's hands felt like heaven.
Gilbert didn't plan on sleeping for another hour, but both of them must have needed it. As soon as he stirred, Anne was up also. She started to arise out of bed and look for her robe, and Gil held her shoulder, "Let me go wash my hands. I'll be right back." He came back with a damp cloth and said, "This will just take a moment. I won't be able to concentrate today if I don't do this."
"Gil, I understand all of this, but, I feel as if there's something…wrong with me…because of all of this. I'm fine."
"Lie down, please and this will be quick. I just need a moment," Gil countered. She did as he said, simply because she knew he wasn't going to back down. He left the quilt over her, but put his hand underneath it, and palpated her lower abdomen and said, "Any problems?"
Anne shook her head, said, "No" and began to crawl out of bed. "Hold on. Not finished." As quickly as he could, he moved one of Anne's legs to one side and glanced down. Then he took the washcloth and wiped her perineum with it and looked at it rapidly for any signs of new, bright red blood.
"Are you satisfied, Dr. Blythe?" Anne retorted.
"I will be very shortly," he answered, and quickly retreated to his bag that was sitting on the slipper chair. He took a small paper-wrapped square out of the leather satchel and tore the paper away. "Just gauze, Anne," he informed.
She rolled her eyes as he wiped the gauze one more time. This time he saw the blood that the washcloth had hinted was there.
"I'm done, now, Gil. If you do this all the time, you may not have time to ever see patients! I'm fine."
"Just making sure you are well. There isn't a lot, but there is fresh blood and that should have stopped with an hour or two after last night. We'll just take it easy for a day. No trick roping or cattle rustling for you today," he teased.
"Enough. I'm going downstairs, Gil."
"You are going to have deal with being a surgeon's wife, woman!"