Okay, this was written for suteishichic's b-day, and by request for her. I know I'm supposed to be working on my PSME stuff, and I promise I'll finish it soon! But my Eiji-muse has been eating my BRAIN, so I was glad for a chance to post something to shut him up.
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of Prince of Tennis belong to Konomi Takeshi, not me. I'm borrowing them without permission, and I'm not making any money off them. C&C is always appreciated; flames will be cheerfully used to roast marshmallows.
Promises, Promises
Fanclubs (and the attendant swooning fangirls) were just a fact of life for most of the Seigaku Regulars. Although most of girls didn't have quite the audacity of Echizen's 'Number One Fan' Tomoko, there were always girls hanging about the fringes of the practices. Valentine's Day was a holiday to be dreaded; in some ways White Day was worse, with all the girls hovering around hoping for a chocolate in return. And love letters, of course, were a regular occurrence.
Oishi was therefore not entirely startled to find himself the recipient of yet another confession letter, though he was a little surprised by its appearance and location. It was just a plain white envelope with his family name on it in blue ink, with no hearts or flowers or stickers or sparkly gel pen. Moreover, it was resting on top of his school uniform when he came into the club room after practice, and nobody except the tennis club members were supposed to be able to get in there.
In fact, he hadn't even known it was a confession letter until he'd picked it up and opened it. The contents were probably the most straightforward confession he'd ever received: 'Dear Oishi, I've wanted to confess that I had feelings for you for a long time, but I've never had the courage. Please meet me behind the gym tomorrow afternoon after tennis practice so I can tell you how I feel in person. Even if you're not interested, I want to at least hear it from you so I can know for sure.'
Blinking, Oishi re-read the note, certain there'd been some mistake. Girls just didn't write love confessions like that. He should know; he'd been the recipient of more than a few, and he'd seen the ones given to Eiji, Fuji and Tezuka as well.
"Did anyone see who put this here?" he called to the locker room in general. A few people looked up, but they all shook their heads before returning to dressing.
"Nya, Oishi, what is it?" Eiji asked, glomping him from behind and reading the note over his shoulder. "A love letter! Oishi's so popular!"
"Yeah, it's kinda weird, though," Oishi replied, ignoring the extra weight on his shoulder with the ease of long practice. He studied the letter again, noting the sharp, precise strokes of the writing. Even the handwriting didn't look very feminine. "I think maybe it's a joke or something. It's nothing like the letters we usually get. It's just... not very feminine," he concluded, finally able to put his finger on what had been bothering him about it.
Using Oishi's shoulder as a leverage point, Eiji swung around to face him and snatched the letter out of his hand, studying it with wide eyes. "Oishi! You don't suppose it's from..." darting his eyes from side to side, the redhead leaned in and 'whispered' in a voice that could have been heard out on the courts, "a guy?"
Everyone in the clubhouse went still, and Oishi turned beet red. He snatched the letter back and whacked his doubles partner over the head with it, forcing himself to laugh. "Eiji! I really doubt it. Guys don't do that sort of thing."
"But what if it is, nya?" Eiji insisted, all but bouncing in front of him in excitement at the very idea. "Maybe a guy who's like that would do something like that? How else could they ever tell you how they felt?"
"Well, if it is, he's awfully brave for being able to admit it," Oishi replied. Without meaning to, he glanced over at Tezuka's locker, and almost laughed out loud at the very thought. Tezuka would certainly have the balls to do anything he put his mind to, up to and including giving another boy a love letter, but he just... wouldn't.
Not that it wouldn't be nice if he did things like that once in a while, Oishi admitted to himself. Not anything as public as this, but... well, anything at all would be nice.
That just wasn't the nature of the relationship between them, though. For one thing, the entire point of promising to wait for each other until after Nationals was so that they wouldn't be distracted by a new relationship right when they most needed to be focused on their tennis.
Just a few more months, he reminded himself. We'll make it to Nationals for sure this year - and even if we don't, this season is our last chance. Once this season is over, then we won't have to wait any more.
"Nya, Oishi! Are you even listening to me?" Eiji's strident demand jerked Oishi out of his wistful thoughts and back into the present. The redhead laughed, seeing the distracted look on his partner's face. "So serious! Are you thinking about going to see?"
"Going to see what?" Oishi replied stupidly, and then blushed when Eiji waved the letter in his face. "Oh! That. No, of course not. You know I never go to those meetings. It's cruel to get their hopes up by showing up."
"They did say they wanted to see you even if you were going to turn them down," Fuji interrupted, startling Oishi again. The tensai tilted his head. "It's a remarkably mature attitude for them to have. They seem to hope you return the feelings, recognize that you probably don't, and know that they need the closure before they can start getting over you."
"Fuji? When did you..." Oishi was confused. How did Fuji know what the letter said? He was blindsided by a wild thought, and wound up staring at the tensai. Surely Fuji hadn't...
Laughing, Fuji correctly interpreted his thunderstruck expression. "No, I'm not the one who wrote it. Eiji showed it to me while you were spacing out just now. I think you should go, Oishi. Unlike most of the girls, who would only be hurt worse by having you there, I think this person would benefit from hearing your answer themselves."
Oishi noticed that Fuji carefully did not say 'this girl', which probably meant the tensai thought a boy had written the letter as well. And if a boy really had gotten the courage to tell him something like that, and was truly prepared for the let-down, well... maybe Fuji was right.
"I... I guess so," he answered, retrieving the letter once more from Eiji and shoving it into his pocket. He picked up his tennis bag and slung it over his shoulder. "I guess I'll find out tomorrow afternoon."
"Hoi, good luck, Oishi!" Eiji crowed, grinning at him. "I hope he's cute!"
"Eiji! It doesn't matter if he - or she! - is or not," Oishi reminded him, blushing again. His doubles partner had the ability to make him blush more than anyone else alive. "I'm telling them I'm not interested, remember?"
"Maa, you never know, Oishi," Fuji said, his smile just a little devious. "They might be your type."
"Who might be?" Tezuka's deep voice cut in as they left the clubhouse and headed for the school gates. The captain fell in beside them as they walked, looking at them curiously.
"Oishi got a love letter from a guy!" Eiji quickly replied, his grin a mile wide. Tezuka quirked an eyebrow at Oishi who only rolled his eyes.
"Eiji, you don't know for sure it's from a guy," Oishi corrected his partner. "It might just be an especially practical girl."
"Well, you'll find out tomorrow when you meet them, won't you?" Eiji answered him, dark blue eyes twinkling with mirth. They'd reached the gate, which was where the four of them split up to go home, since they lived in opposite directions. "Ja ne, Tezuka, Oishi! See you at practice tomorrow morning!"
"See you tomorrow, Eiji, Fuji," Oishi echoed, waving in return. He and Tezuka walked together in silence for a while, as they usually did. They had the sort of friendship that was comfortable in silences, where they didn't need to punctuate the space with meaningless chatter. Instead, they could just quietly enjoy each other's company.
The walk home, at least when Tezuka didn't have to stay late doing paperwork for the tennis club, was generally one of Oishi's favourite parts of the day. He didn't get many chances to spend time alone with his friend, especially this year since they'd become the captain and vice-captain of the team.
"So you're actually going to show up?" Tezuka suddenly commented, surprising Oishi. On the rare occasions they did talk on their walk home, it was usually about tennis or the team.
"Yeah, probably," he replied, glancing at his friend. Anyone who didn't know the stoic boy as well as he did would have missed the flash of jealousy that went through his expression, and Oishi knew that if anyone else had been present Tezuka wouldn't have allowed even that brief a slip in his mask.
Softening his voice, Oishi added, "I haven't forgotten our promise, Tezuka. I'm still waiting for you. Fuji just made a good point that whoever this person is, they seem mature enough that they deserve the closure of hearing me tell them outright that I'm not interested, so they can stop hoping."
"Mn," was all Tezuka said in reply, but Oishi saw the way the tension around his eyes lessened. The taller boy shifted his grip on his tennis bag, freeing one hand to reach for Oishi's in a very rare display of public affection.
The tingling caused by the feel of Tezuka's calloused palm against his ran straight up Oishi's arm and into his heart. He had to fight to keep a stupid smile off his face. However frustrating the non-relationship dictated by the promise they'd made years ago might be, Oishi reminded himself, Tezuka was worth waiting for.
-------------
Oishi's days tended to have a certain routine sameness to them, especially on school days. As he jogged to school the next morning, he already knew his routine for that day was going to fall apart. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about the confession letter all night, keeping him awake until the early hours of the morning. He'd overslept as a result, which was why he was jogging to school instead of walking. Well, it would be a good warm-up for the laps he was going to get for being late to practice.
The more he thought about it, the more he became certain that it was a boy who'd written the letter. There was just nothing feminine about the entire thing. Moreover, since only the tennis club members were allowed in the clubhouse, it meant it was probably one of them who'd given him the letter. Oishi had spent the night going over each of the members in his mind, trying to figure out which one might have done something like this.
He was still thinking about it as he ran, so he was completely startled when a lithe figure broadsided him from a cross street and caught him in a tight hug. "Ya-hoi! Good morning, Oishi!"
He staggered from the sudden weight, thrown off balance by Eiji clinging to him like that. He managed to keep his feet under him, preventing them from both going over in a heap, though he'd automatically wrapped his arms around his partner in turn to help him keep his balance. "Eiji! What are you doing here?" he asked, bewildered.
"Couldn't sleep, got up early nya," Eiji replied, hanging onto him for a moment longer before releasing him and making a production of brushing him off. "I was bored so I thought I'd come out here and wait for you to walk to school together, but you're late Oishi!"
"I know, I overslept," Oishi replied, embarrassed both by the attention and the reminder. "You shouldn't have waited for me, now you'll be late too!" He started jogging again, Eiji easily keeping pace beside him.
The redhead grinned and gave him a v-sign. "Nya, now you'll have company for your laps, so it's all good," he declared. "Not like you to sleep in. Thinking about your love letter?" he asked slyly.
"You know me too well," Oishi admitted, laughing. "I couldn't stop wondering who in the club would do something like this. I just can't picture it from anybody, can you?"
"I would, if I liked someone," Eiji replied, still grinning. "Couldn't you see me doing something like that?"
Oishi laughed harder. "No. You'd just march right up to him and tell him how you felt, without even hesitating," he said. "People give love confession letters when they're shy and afraid of having other people know about it, Eiji. You're not afraid of anything."
His partner stuck his tongue out at him. "Nya, maybe you don't know me as well as you think! I wouldn't want everyone laughing at me for making a confession! I'd want to do it in private, too."
"I can understand that, I guess," Oishi agreed. "I wouldn't want everyone to know about it, either." He pointed at his partner. "So just think about that before you start badgering me to know who it was after I meet with them, okay? You wouldn't want me to tell if it were you."
"I won't ask," Eiji promised solemnly. Oishi didn't believe him for a moment. He knew his friend too well; the redhead would be dying of curiosity.
They were almost at the school entrance when Eiji turned to him, uncharacteristically serious, and said, "Hoi, Oishi? We'll always be friends, right? No matter what?"
"Of course," Oishi replied, surprised Eiji would even feel the need to ask. "We're partners, remember? The Golden Pair. Nothing can come between us."
"Not even if you get a boyfriend?" Eiji insisted, and Oishi finally understood where his friend's insecurity was coming from. He stopped running, forcing Eiji to stop beside him. They were already late, a few more minutes would just mean a few more laps. Reassuring his friend was more important.
"Eiji, no matter what, we'll always be friends," Oishi told him, his voice firm. "You know I'm planning to turn this person down today, but even if for some reason I didn't, we'd still be friends. Whether I have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it doesn't matter. Okay?"
"Okay," Eiji agreed, looking a little reassured. "Promise?" he added, apparently still not entirely mollified.
Oishi took just a second to think about it, because promises meant a lot to him. He didn't make promises he wasn't sure he could keep, and Eiji knew it. "I promise," he finally said, causing a sunny smile to break out on his partner's face.
"Unyatta!" Eiji cheered, grabbing his hand and taking off running once more, forcing a laughing Oishi to either run with him or be dragged. "Friends forever! Remember, Oishi, you promised, and you never break your promises!"
"I'm not likely to forget, Eiji," Oishi protested, smiling back at him. No matter what else was happening in his life, he was glad he could count on Eiji to always be there for him. He couldn't ask for a better friend, and he had no idea what he would do without the other boy to lighten his life.
Thank all the gods I'll never have to find out, Oishi thought as the tennis courts came in sight and he could already see Tezuka frowning at them for being late. There's nobody more loyal to his friends than Eiji - I think I'd have to pry him off me with a crowbar to get rid of him, and I'm not likely to do that.
-----------
Oishi was badly distracted in their afternoon practice that day, and if anything Tezuka was harder on him, knowing the reason for his distraction. He lost a singles match against Momoshiro and contributed almost nothing to the doubles match he and Eiji played against Fuji and Taka. He ran so many laps his legs were burning, but it still wasn't enough to drag his mind off the subject that was so consuming him.
In minutes, he would know who had written him the letter. He was getting nervous, and starting to think it had been a bad idea to agree to go the meeting after all, no matter what Fuji said. What if it made things awkward between him and his admirer? What if it really was a member of the tennis club? Gods, what if it was one of the Regulars?
"Oishi, stop worrying nya, you'll be fine," Eiji whispered to him as they changed after practice. Oishi was almost shaking with nerves, and he actually jumped when Eiji reached over and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. The redhead chuckled. "Calm down. Breathe. Everything will be okay."
"Easy for you to say," Oishi muttered back, buttoning his school tunic. "You're not the one who has to go face his admirer who might or might not be a boy and/or a member of the club."
"Oishi, trust," Eiji insisted, smiling gently at him. "It'll be fine, nya."
Oishi took a deep breath and forcibly calmed his nerves. He smiled back at his friend. "Thanks, Eiji. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."
"Be lonely and panic a lot," Eiji promptly replied, making Oishi laugh, which was exactly the reaction the redhead had been hoping for. He offered Oishi a high five which Oishi accepted, and they held hands a second longer than was strictly necessary, Oishi taking strength from his partner.
"All right, I'm going to do it," he finally declared, tugging his hand free and swinging his tennis bag over his shoulder. "Wish me luck."
"You won't need it nya, but good luck!" Eiji wished him, watching him leave the club house with sparkling blue eyes.
Oishi made his way around the gym, which was right next to the tennis courts. There was a semi-secluded area on the other side of the large building, not near any of the entrances to the school and therefore not frequented by many students, especially at this time of day. Oishi could faintly hear what sounded like the kendo club still practicing inside the gym; the rhythmic cries and wooden clacks helped him stay calm and steady.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," he declared quietly to himself as he pushed aside a branch from a tree and entered the green space behind the gym. There was nobody there; either he'd gotten there first, or his admirer had chickened out. Not that Oishi would blame him if he had.
He decided to wait for a while though, and see if anyone showed up. He'd been one of the first people out of the change room, so if his admirer was another club member it might take them more time to get there.
Setting his bag down, he leaned against one of the pine trees and closed his eyes, inhaling the scent and trying to calm his ragged heartbeat. He tried to think of something that would make him less nervous, and fixed on the mental image of Eiji smiling as he insisted Oishi wouldn't need good luck. The image made him smile as well, which helped.
A good twenty minutes went by as he waited, wondering if his admirer really had decided not to come after all. He was a little disappointed by the thought, now curious about who it was that could have sent him the love confession, but also rather relieved. The larger part of him still thought he was better off not knowing, so things wouldn't be awkward with the other boy later.
Just when he was about to give up, cool hands reached around from behind him and covered his eyes, a warm body sliding up behind him and to one side, from around behind the tree. Oishi jumped; thanks to the thick carpet of pine needles and his own distraction, he hadn't heard anybody approaching. "Guess," a husky voice whispered in his ear.
He didn't need to guess; he'd know the scent of his closest friend anywhere. "Eiji, what are you doing here?" he asked, frowning. "Did you come to see who it was? You might have scared them off. Though, I don't think they're going to show up after all."
"Nya, you knew?" Eiji laughed, the sound oddly strained, and released Oishi's eyes. Oishi turned so they were both leaning against the tree trunk, now facing each other.
"How could I not know it was you?" Oishi countered, his frown turning to a smile. "I always know when you're near me."
"Really?" Eiji looked inordinately pleased by this piece of information, smiling smugly. Oishi's own smile faded a bit as he noted that his friend still looked distressed by something.
"Eiji, what's wrong?" he asked, concerned. "You're not still afraid that you'll lose me as a friend because of this admirer, are you?"
Eiji shook his head, then nodded, then sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, his expression was unusually serious for the second time that day. "Nya, Oishi. That's not it. Well, kind of."
Oishi waited, knowing from experience that pushing Eiji when he was this uncertain would only result in the redhead hiding his true feelings behind another laugh and smile. What he needed was space until he worked up the nerve to spit out whatever was bothering him so much.
Taking a deep breath, Eiji squared his shoulders and looked Oishi straight in the eyes. "I'm the one who wrote that letter, Oishi. I wrote it, I put it on your bag, and... and I meant every word of it!" The last part came out quickly, almost defiantly, as if he were daring Oishi to claim it had been a joke or prank.
For a moment, Oishi was absolutely certain all the air had left the clearing they stood in. He couldn't seem to draw breath. "Wha..." was the most intelligible sound his brain managed to produce.
Eiji was the one who had given him the love confession? Eiji had feelings for him? iThose/i kinds of feelings for him? It's not... it's not possible, he thought, dazed and shocked. Suddenly all the friendly touches and hugs, the way Eiji never strayed far from his side when they were together, the insistence on getting Oishi to promise that they'd stay friends no matter what, all took on a very different meaning.
Oishi's mind whirled, struggling to process the idea. Eiji was his friend, maybe his closest friend. Eiji was the one he could talk to about anything, who had listened to his most embarrassing stories and deepest secrets, to the things he couldn't even tell Tezuka. Eiji was the light in his life, always bringing laughter and joy to everyone he spent time with. Eiji was just always there, omnipresent, like the air or the sun. Eiji was his partner, his other half. Eiji was...
Eiji was kissing him, he realized with a second shock. Kissing him like he really meant it, with his arms around Oishi's neck and his tongue in Oishi's mouth. He was obviously inexperienced, but like everything else he did, he did it determined to give it his all. And, perhaps more importantly, Oishi was kissing him back. Like he meant it.
And he found as he pulled back to gasp for much-needed oxygen, he did mean it. Eiji started to protest the separation, but Oishi was kissing him again before he'd gotten more than the first syllable out. They clung together, hands clutching at each other like they were drowning and the other one was their only source of oxygen.
How could I have missed this? Oishi wondered, stunned from the force of his own emotions. How could I have spent all this time with him and not realized how much I needed him? How could I not have known how I felt about him? The way kissing Eiji made him feel made his few kisses with Tezuka seem like...
Oh gods! Tezuka! The knowledge hit him like a thunderbolt, and he jerked away from Eiji, pushing the other boy away so forcefully his partner actually stumbled and tripped over a root. The redhead sat among the pine needles, looking dazed and confused and very aroused. Oishi had a feeling if he could see himself in a mirror at that moment, he'd have much the same expression on his face, plus a good helping of horror.
"Oishi?" Eiji's voice was small, and his big blue eyes as he looked up at his partner were uncertain. "What is it? Why'd you stop, why'd you push me away? Oishi?"
"I... I can't," Oishi stuttered, unable to really wrap his mind around any complete thought. "I can't, I can't do this... Eiji I'm sorry, I can't!" He staggered back, putting another foot or two of distance between him and his friend.
"What? Why not?" Eiji demanded, confusion changing instantly to hurt and outrage. "Why can't you? It's not 'cause I'm a boy, you weren't disgusted by the idea that a boy gave you a love letter. So why not?"
"Because I just can't!" Oishi cried, anguished. The other part of his promise to Tezuka was that he wouldn't tell anyone about them - Tezuka had known then that he would be made captain, and hadn't wanted others to accuse Oishi of receiving better treatment from him.
Before Eiji could say anything else, throw any more words at him to tear up his already bleeding heart, Oishi turned and ran. He ran like Inui was right behind him, threatening him with the worst Penal Tea ever created if he didn't break his own speed record. His heart was breaking, his mind was spinning, and he was more confused than he'd ever been in his entire life.
What is wrong with me? he demanded of himself as he ran. How could I do that, how could I feel that? I love Tezuka, I promised him I'd wait for him, and then I went and kissed Eiji like... like...
Like you're in love with him, some distant corner of his mind whispered back at him. Like you've finally realized why you always want to play him, to spend time with him, to be with him, and damn that kiss was about a hundred times better than the ones you had with Tezuka before you agreed not to let yourselves be distracted from tennis until after the Nationals...
"Stop it!" Oishi exclaimed aloud, staggering to a halt and clutching at his head as if it physically hurt. "Just stop, stop it, stop!"
"Oishi!" The deep, smooth voice was about the last thing Oishi wanted to hear right at that moment, except maybe for Eiji's sweet piping tenor. He turned and saw Tezuka running to catch up with him, looking badly concerned. "Oishi what is it? What happened?"
Oishi couldn't seem to catch his breath, couldn't find his voice to explain. Explain WHAT? he thought, almost hysterical. What the hell could I possibly say to him? I promised him I'd wait for him, and I almost broke that promise... I'm not sure I haven't anyway.
"Oishi..." Tezuka's eyes were unusually worried as he reached up and brushed his thumb against Oishi's cheek. Oishi was floored by the completely out of character gesture of affection, until Tezuka moved his hand away and he realized the taller boy's thumb was wet. Oishi had been crying as he ran, and he hadn't even been aware of it.
"Tezuka, I..." Oishi forced the words past the lump in his throat, but that broke through the floodgates as well. He collapsed to his knees, burying his face in his hands as he started to sob for real. "Oh gods, what have I done?"
Strong hands on his shoulders held him steady, supporting him while he cried himself out. A deep voice murmured over him, words he couldn't even understand through his tears, but the tone was soothing and slowly calmed his wracking shudders.
"Oishi, what happened?" Tezuka finally asked again when Oishi's crying had slowed enough for him to be able to speak.
"I..." Oishi squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to remember the hurt look on Eiji's face when he'd pushed his friend away. "I think... I just destroyed something very important to me." Something I'm not sure I can live without...
"It was Kikumaru, wasn't it?" Tezuka made it a statement rather than a question, and Oishi looked up at him in surprise. "He's been even more clingy around you than usual today. And he's the only one you'd be this upset about rejecting."
For a moment, Oishi panicked. How could Tezuka have known about Oishi's feelings for Eiji when Oishi didn't even know about them himself? How could the other boy have guessed that breaking Eiji's heart would break his own in turn?
The reason reasserted itself. Tezuka knew he was close to Eiji, hell, the entire school knew that. It was pretty hard to miss. Of course he would assume that Oishi had turned Eiji down, Eiji had reacted badly, and now Oishi was upset about the loss of that friendship. Nothing more.
And if Oishi had anything to say about it, Tezuka would never know any different, he decided in that moment. It wouldn't be fair of him to tell Tezuka about the feelings he'd suddenly discovered he had for Eiji. Tezuka had been true to their promise, waiting for Oishi, and Oishi could not bear to break a third heart with this mess.
It wasn't as if he'd stopped loving Tezuka. In that moment, with Tezuka breaking his own habit of aloofness to offer Oishi comfort when Oishi needed it most, he thought he loved the taller boy more than ever.
The problem, he was discovering, was that he loved Eiji more.
----------
To Oishi's horror, but not really to his surprise, he found himself completely unable to face Eiji the next day. He couldn't look at his partner without remembering that kiss, and worse, remembering the hurt expression Eiji had borne when Oishi had pushed him away so suddenly.
It didn't help that Eiji looked pretty much the way Oishi felt; as if he'd locked himself in his room and cried all night, hurt and confused and completely at a loss for what to do next.
They played one game together that morning, losing 6-0 to Momo and Kaidou of all people, before Ryuzaki-sensei separated them in disgust. She declared that they would play either singles or with other partners until they 'got over their latest spat and got their act together'.
It wasn't the first time the Golden Pair had 'broken up' - they'd had fights before, days where they wouldn't speak to each other, even times when they'd declared the partnership finished. Nobody ever believed it, and sure enough, within a day or two they'd be back together, working as smoothly as if they'd never left each other's sides.
This time, though, there was a different quality to the 'break up' that even the most insensitive club members had picked up on. Everyone was tiptoeing around the two of them, avoiding even mentioning them to each other, and the rumours were already flying that this time the Golden Pair had broken up for good.
Oishi wasn't sure they were wrong. Despite his promise to Eiji that nothing could ever come between them, neither of them could so much as look at the other now without flinching. The few times he accidentally met Eiji's eyes, there was such a wealth of pain and confusion in the redhead's expression Oishi had to look away or break down in tears again.
He'd never meant to cause pain to anyone, least of all to Eiji. More than anything he wanted to wipe that look off his partner's face, tell Eiji that everything would be all right, but in order to do that he would have had to break his promise to Tezuka.
His morning classes didn't go any better than morning practice had. He found himself utterly unable to concentrate. The only things on his mind were Eiji and Tezuka, and the teachers caught him uncharacteristically daydreaming more than once. He saw the way Tezuka kept glancing at him from across the classroom and knew his friend was worried, but he had no reassurances to offer the taller boy.
Maybe it's just an infatuation? he thought, trying to reason with himself. Something sparked by Eiji confessing his feelings for me. Or maybe it's even transference of my feelings for Tezuka - I never get to express them to him, and Eiji was willing, so I used him as a substitute...
Biting back a growl of frustration, Oishi clenched his fists so tightly his forgotten pen snapped from the pressure. The growl turned into a strangled noise of surprise as blue ink flowed over his fingers and his notes, threatening to turn his desktop into a blue puddle. He jumped up and away from his seat as the ink spilled over the edge of the desk, trying to save his uniform from being stained.
"Oishi-kun?" the teacher paused his lesson, staring at the tennis player in surprise. Oishi flushed darkly and bowed a few times, quickly.
"I'm sorry, sensei, I broke my pen and now there's ink everywhere, may I be excused to clean it up?" he asked, feeling his face burn hotter at the sound of muffled giggles from around the room.
"Of course, go ahead," the teacher acknowledged, and Oishi all but bolted for the door.
In the boy's washroom he scrubbed furiously at his hands, trying to get the stubborn ink to come off, feeling tears track slowly down his cheeks despite his best efforts to suppress them.
It's not transference, he acknowledged silently to himself, knowing that running from the problem wasn't going to do anything to solve it. Eiji's nothing like Tezuka, nothing at all. I couldn't pick a worse 'substitute' if I tried. I don't think it's an infatuation, either. So why didn't I ever notice?
Because you didn't want to notice, that calm, cool part of his brain quietly informed him. Oishi froze, his hands still covered in soap and ink, staring at himself in the mirror. Wild green eyes in a tearstained face stared back, mocking him. You didn't want to notice, so you just came up with any and every excuse you could to spend time with him, and pretended you didn't feel anything more than friendship.
It was true, he realized. He lowered his gaze, unable to meet his own eyes in the mirror. His friendship with Eiji had begun with much the same pattern as his friendship with Tezuka - making excuses to see him outside of school and tennis, calling him just to talk, spending more and more time with him, doing things just to make the other boy smile.
The difference lay in the way his two friends had responded to his attention. With Tezuka, they'd started out the same way, but then realized their friendship was starting to interfere with their tennis. They'd been choosing to spend time with each other rather than practicing, and that had led to them promising to wait for each other. And in an effort to keep from distracting themselves, they'd spent less and less time alone together, even in a platonic capacity.
With Eiji though, maybe because they were doubles partners, their tennis had never suffered from the time and attention they lavished on their friendship. Every moment he spent with his partner enabled Oishi to understand the other boy a little better, which only improved their performance on the courts. And so he'd never even considered limiting his contact with the redhead, never gave a second thought to the fact that he wanted to spend more and more time in Eiji's presence. He'd just written it off as part of his desire to improve their tennis.
"What am I going to do?" he whispered to his reflection, despairing. He was promised to one, burned for the other, and loved them both despite it all. His reflection, unfortunately, didn't have any answers for him.
He heard the door open behind him, and quickly ducked his head, splashing his face with cold water to get rid of the evidence of tears. That was all he needed, to have someone find him crying in the bathroom like a girl with her first heartbreak. Turning, he was startled to see Tezuka waiting for him, leaning against the door, holding both his and Oishi's bags.
"The bell rang a minute ago," Tezuka explained, perhaps correctly interpreting the confused look on his friend's face. "I brought your bag, but your notebook was a write-off. You can borrow my notes if you like."
"Thanks," Oishi replied, taking his bag and the proffered notebook, dredging up a smile from somewhere to offer his friend.
"Is everything all right?" the taller boy persisted, his dark eyes worried. Oishi's smile grew a little more sincere. Many people believed Tezuka was cold, but Oishi knew his friend was just very good at hiding his emotions.
"I'm okay, really," Oishi assured him, hoping the words didn't ring too false. He was a terrible liar, and they both knew it. "I'm sorry, I'm just a little stressed today."
"Are you and Kikumaru going to be able to play together, do you think?" Tezuka asked as they both walked out of the bathroom, heading for the spot outside where the tennis Regulars often met to eat lunch together during the summer. Oishi hoped he hadn't turned as pale as it felt like he had.
"I... I don't know, Tezuka," he finally replied, shaking his head. "Not right away. Just give us some time, I guess. It's too raw right now, and we can't synchronize if we can't even look at each other."
He wondered if Eiji would be waiting at their spot as usual; the thought of having to eat next to the redhead made his stomach turn. Suddenly, he was anything but hungry. "I think I'm going to go up to the roof," he announced abruptly, halting at the stairway. Tezuka turned to him, surprised. "I need the fresh air," he explained, knowing the other boy would understand what he really meant. I need to be away from him...
"Do you want some company?" Tezuka asked quietly, and Oishi shook his head. "All right, then. I'll see you in class." He turned and walked away, heading for the door, and Oishi was grateful for his friend's reticent nature. It meant Tezuka was willing to give him space when he needed it; something Eiji had never quite learned how to do.
Sighing as he realized his thoughts had already returned to Eiji, Oishi made his way up the staircase, hoping he'd be able to find some measure of composure before their afternoon practice became a complete disaster.
----------
As it turned out, Oishi needn't have worried. Eiji was absent from practice; an unsmiling Fuji had quietly informed Oishi, Tezuka and Ryuzaki-sensei that the redhead had become ill in class that afternoon and asked the teachers for permission to go home.
Ryuzaki had given Oishi a hard look, as if expecting him to comment on his partner's absence. When Oishi only looked away and said nothing, the coach sighed and ordered them all to go start on their agility drills.
Oishi spent the entire practice trying not to feel like there was an empty space at his side where Eiji would normally have been. He threw himself into his tennis, putting everything he had into the game so that he wouldn't have to think about anything else, at least for a little while. By the end of practice he was completely exhausted, dripping with sweat, and regretting the fact that he'd felt too nauseous to eat his lunch.
Tezuka walked home with him, surprising Oishi who'd expected him to have paperwork to do as usual. His friend didn't press him to talk about what was going on, at least, for which Oishi was grateful. He didn't think he could talk about the situation to anyone at the moment, let alone to one of the people involved.
What really surprised him however was the way Tezuka took his hand again for the second time in three days. Tezuka had showed more affection for him since Oishi had received that love letter than he had in the year since they'd made their promise. In a way, Oishi almost wished he wouldn't - it just made it even harder. The thrilling tingle that always crept over him at times like this was nothing compared to the jolt that kissing and touching Eiji had given him. Oishi really could have done without the reminder of the dichotomy of his feelings for his two friends.
They reached the street where they parted to go their separate ways, and Tezuka paused to look at him. "Oishi, are you sure you're all right?" he asked, obviously still concerned about his friend. "Do you want to come over?"
Normally Oishi would have jumped at the chance to spend more time with Tezuka, but right at that moment he didn't think he could face the idea of needing to act like nothing had changed for him. "Thanks, Tezuka, but my family is expecting me for dinner," he declined with a wan smile.
When Tezuka continued to hesitate, studying him, Oishi shook his head. "I'll be fine. I just never expected my friendship with him to end like this. I need some time to deal with it. I'm sorry."
Tezuka nodded slowly, and squeezed his fingers lightly before releasing his hand. "You know my phone number if you need it," he said. Oishi nodded, and stood watching as Tezuka reluctantly turned and walked away.
When the taller boy was out of sight, Oishi finally started on his own way home. His footsteps dragged and he felt as if the very air were pressing down on him, making his shoulders slump and his lungs ache for fresh air. Something in his chest hurt, anyway. He still had no idea what he was going to do. He could only hope that in time these feelings for Eiji would abate, and let him go back to his friendship with the redhead. He wasn't holding out hope, though - he had a feeling the Golden Pair was truly broken at last.
The last thing he was expecting as he walked in the front door of his house, therefore, was to have his mother call to him from the kitchen, "Shuuichirou! Eiji-kun is here, he's waiting for you in your room. He said you left something at tennis practice and he wanted to give it back to you."
Oishi stood frozen in the front hall, one shoe off and his other foot lifted to remove the second. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. Eiji is here? Why? I didn't leave anything at practice... and he wasn't at practice anyway!
If he could have, he'd have begged his mother to go tell his friend that he couldn't see him. He couldn't imagine what Eiji wanted, but he knew it wouldn't be easy for him to deal with. Unfortunately, as he knew from experience, if the redhead was determined to see him, Oishi wouldn't be able to dodge him for long. He might as well get it over with now.
Slowly starting to move again, he pulled his other shoe off and slipped his feet into the slippers that were waiting there for him, before padding up the hall to the stairs. "I'll be upstairs if you need me," he called to his mom as he made his way slowly up the stairway, feeling like each step added another pound to the pressure on his chest.
Sure enough, Eiji was waiting for him when he got to his room, perched on the edge of Oishi's bed with his hands fisted in the covers, looking nervous and upset. If he was ill, he showed no signs of it now; Oishi suspected his 'illness' had been much the same as Oishi had been feeling all day as well.
"Oishi, close the door," Eiji ordered him as soon as he set foot in the room. He was uncharacteristically serious again, his blue eyes firm and a stubborn set to his mouth. "I want to talk to you. Please?" he added when Oishi hesitated. "Just let me talk, and then I'll leave you alone if you really want."
Knowing Eiji would probably talk whether or not Oishi actually closed the door, and not wanting to chance any of his family overhearing the conversation that was likely to come, Oishi sighed and gave in. He shut the door and leaned against it, dropping his bag at his feet as a sort of barrier between him and his friend. As barriers went, he reflected, it wasn't much, but at least it was something. "All right, I'm listening," he said, proud that his voice was steady.
Eiji jumped up off the bed, pacing back and forth in the narrow confines of Oishi's room. "Nya, Oishi, just tell me why," he insisted. "You owe me that much! Why did you push me away like that? Why have you been avoiding me? Why can't you even look at me? Why?"
Oishi tried to hold firm, but it was so hard when he could practically feel the pain radiating off his friend. He wanted nothing more than to go to Eiji and hold him and tell him he was sorry and that everything would be all right. But it would have been a lie, and cruel to Eiji to make him think they had any chance. "You said you'd accept it if I rejected you," he pointed out, somehow still keeping his voice steady. "You said you just wanted the closure. So why are you here?"
"Because you didn't reject me!" Eiji cried, spinning to face him, hands in fists at his side. "Oishi, you didn't! You kissed me back, like you meant it. You wouldn't have kissed me like that if you didn't really want me back!"
Staring into his eyes, Oishi knew that the kindest thing he could do at that point would be to lie to his friend. Eiji was right, Oishi had given him mixed signals, and that meant he hadn't gotten the closure he needed. Eiji deserved better than that.
"You're wrong, Eiji," he forced himself to say. "I didn't mean it. You surprised me, and I reacted without thinking. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped." He shook his head, struggling to meet his partner's eyes and not look away so Eiji wouldn't know he was lying. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that to you, but it was a mistake. I didn't mean it."
Eiji studied him for a long moment, his dark eyes seeming to see right through Oishi. "I don't believe you," he declared, stepping closer until he was near enough for Oishi to reach out and touch. "You're lying. I don't know why, but you're lying. Why? Why can't you just tell me the truth?"
"I'm not lying, Eiji," Oishi replied. "I've never lied to you, why do you think I'd start now?"
"I don't know!" Eiji cried, anguished. It broke Oishi's heart all over again. "Prove it! If you're not lying, then kiss me right now. You're not surprised, you know who you're kissing, so if you're telling the truth you won't have any trouble kissing me like you don't mean it!"
Oishi groaned silently. Eiji had the oddest logic sometimes, but in some ways it was truer logic than anything anyone else might reason out. And once Eiji reasoned something out like that, he never let go of it. He wouldn't believe Oishi's words unless and until Oishi 'proved' it to him.
All you have to do is kiss him and not react, he told himself. That's it, and then he can get on with his life and get over you, and be happy.
It was the last thought that decided him. "Fine," Oishi declared, bringing his hands up to Eiji's shoulders and holding the redhead still in front of him. "If that's what it will take for you to believe me, I'll do it. I'm sorry, Eiji, I never meant to hurt you."
Eiji tilted his face up, a defiant look in his eyes. He clearly didn't believe Oishi could follow through on it, and he'd be proved right in the end. Taking a deep breath, Oishi closed his eyes and tried to focus on someone else. Someone he'd never had iany/i interest in kissing.
To his surprise, Eiji immediately jerked away, refusing the kiss. "Oishi!" he said, sounding angry. "Eyes open! I want you to kiss ime/i, or else it doesn't count!"
Oishi's eyes flew open, and he stared at his friend in dismay. Once again, Eiji proved just how well he knew his partner. With his eyes open, Oishi wouldn't be able to convince himself he was kissing someone else - and he didn't think he could kiss Eiji like he didn't mean it if he was really kissing Eiji.
But if he balked now, Eiji would know he was right anyway. Just do it, he ordered himself. Just kiss him and get it over with and let him go!
Almost angrily, Oishi closed the distance between them and fastened his lips on Eiji's. It was a rough kiss, full of Oishi's confusion and inner turmoil. Eiji made a small startled noise at the contact, before melting into Oishi's embrace just as if it were the sweetest, most romantic thing he'd ever experienced.
Staring into the familiar, deep blue eyes from just an inch away, Oishi was lost. He didn't even realize he'd gentled the kiss in response to Eiji's reaction until Eiji whimpered softly, twining his arms around Oishi's neck and letting his eyes fall closed.
Knowing Eiji had won, Oishi gave in and just let himself go for a moment, closing his eyes as well and revelling in the taste and scent and feel of Eiji against him. It was wrong of him to do it, and he knew he was leading Eiji on, but he couldn't resist the temptation to be selfish for just an instant.
Finally he pulled away, gasping, forcibly putting distance between them. Eiji hung on to his shoulders, refusing to be pushed completely away this time. The redhead stared up at him, blue eyes both glazed with pleasure and full of accusation.
"See? I knew. You did mean it," Eiji said, his voice quiet but no less firm for that. "Why did you push me away? Why did you lie?"
"I had to," Oishi almost sobbed, struggling to contain his emotions. "I'm sorry, Eiji. I was just trying to let you go so you could be happy."
Eiji gave him a look as if he thought Oishi were either stupid or insane. "Oishi! What would make me happy is exactly what you're trying to deny me! You love me, you want me, that's what makes me happy!"
"It doesn't matter!" To his further distress, Oishi's voice broke on the words, illustrating just how distraught he really was. Eiji stared at him in surprise. "However much I might love you or want you, it doesn't matter Eiji!"
"Why not?" Eiji demanded. "Why can't we just be together and be happy? Oishi, I'm not just going to leave this alone, you have to tell me why!"
Shuddering, Oishi gave in and told him as much as he felt he could without betraying his word. "Because of a promise, Eiji. I promised someone, a long time ago, that I would wait for him. And I always keep my promises, you know that."
Eiji's eyes had gone wide with shock and dismay. "Oishi? You have someone else?" Oishi nodded. "But... but you do love me, I felt it! You kissed me like you loved me, and it was me you were kissing, I'm sure of it!"
"It was, and I do," Oishi acknowledged. Eiji knew the truth, there was no point in denying it further. The least he could do was be honest now. "If I were free, I'd be with you in a heartbeat. But I'm not. He's kept his promise, and I won't break mine."
This time it was Eiji who pulled away, breaking free and stumbling back to the bed, collapsing to sit down on it as if his legs wouldn't hold him any more. "But you're breaking your promise to me," he pointed out in an anguished voice. "You promised we'd be friends still, no matter what. Sometimes you can't keep promises, Oishi, because your feelings don't listen to your head."
Oishi knew what Eiji was trying to say. If he was going to be breaking a promise either way, why couldn't he break the one that was keeping him away from Eiji instead?
"Eiji, if I broke my word to him and went with you, how could you ever trust me to keep any promise again?" Oishi asked softly, with just as much pain in his own voice. "How could you trust that I wouldn't turn around and break my promise to you when someone else interesting came along?"
Tears gathered in Eiji's eyes as he stared back at Oishi. "But... it's not fair," he whispered, heartbroken.
"No, it's not," Oishi agreed. "Sometimes life isn't fair, Eiji. And then you just have to make the choice that will let you live with yourself later."
There was a moment of silence between them, broken only by Eiji's sniffles and Oishi's ragged breathing, before Eiji finally stood up. "I'm sorry," the redhead murmured, not looking at Oishi. "I'll go now. I... I hope you're happy with whoever you're waiting for!" With that Eiji fled the room, brushing past Oishi who still stood near the door. Oishi heard his footsteps thundering down the stairs, heard his mother call out to his friend in concern, then heard the front door slam.
He slid down the wall, curling up on the floor and burying his face in his knees as he cried helplessly for what could have been.
----------
The next morning it was Oishi's turn to skip practice. He'd cried himself to sleep the night before, ignoring his mother's repeated attempts to get him to come out of his room or at least talk to her about what was wrong. When his alarm had gone off just after dawn, he'd felt so miserable he'd given up on the very idea of facing tennis practice, and reset his alarm.
Even with the extra sleep he had to drag himself out of bed when it went off again. He briefly contemplated telling his mother he was sick and staying home from school, but he knew that wouldn't solve anything. Spending the day at home would only give him time to brood, and his problem would still be there the next day.
Feeling at the same time light-headed and as if his brain was stuffed with heavy wool, he made his way to school. He managed to avoid Tezuka's concerned questions by the simple expedient of arriving for class at the same moment the bell rang. He sat through the class, not taking notes or even really understanding what the teacher was saying, completely unable to focus.
Hell, maybe I should have stayed home after all, Oishi thought as the lunch break crept up on them. I'm certainly not accomplishing anything here, and Tezuka's going to want to talk to me the moment the bell rings. What on earth am I going to say to him? 'I confessed my love to someone else last night, but don't worry, I'm still waiting for you like I promised'? That will go over well...
He was so distracted it took him a moment to realize someone was standing next to his desk, calling his name. For a panicked second he thought it was the teacher, calling on him, and he tried to leap to his feet to answer.
"Oishi!" Tezuka caught him by the shoulders as he stumbled, holding him upright. "Oishi, what on earth is wrong with you? If you're sick, why did you come to school?"
Oishi stared at him in blank astonishment, before noticing that the other students were either missing or clustered around their desks, eating lunch. The bell had rung and he hadn't even heard it. "Tezuka... I..."
Black spots swam in front of his eyes and he swayed, trying to catch his balance. Tezuka muffled a startled curse and gripped his shoulders tighter, guiding him down into his seat. Oishi's ears were ringing, and he struggled to focus on what Tezuka was saying.
"...ridiculous, I'm taking you to the nurse," he finally made out, and blinked in surprise. Tezuka gave him a stern look. "Can you make it there without passing out, or am I going to have to carry you?"
The image of Tezuka carrying him through the halls struck Oishi as rather hysterical, and he had a hard time muffling his laughter. "No, I can walk, I'm okay," he insisted. "I don't need the nurse, really. I'm not sick."
"Oishi, you just came within an inch of fainting," Tezuka told him bluntly. "You're either walking to the nurse's office or I'm carrying you. Pick one."
Reluctantly, Oishi stood and made his way to the door, trying to ignore the black spots that attempted to creep up on him again. Tezuka grunted, seeing the way he was swaying, and slung Oishi's arm over his shoulder without giving the smaller boy a chance to protest.
They made it to the nurse's office without Oishi passing out, though it was a close call once or twice. There was nobody there; presumably the nurse was on her lunch as well. Tezuka helped Oishi sit on the bed, and started pulling his friend's shoes off without bothering to ask for permission.
"You don't have a fever, and you're not showing any other signs of being sick," Tezuka noted in a steady voice as he dropped Oishi's shoes next to the bed. "Lie down before you do pass out."
Too weary to argue, Oishi obeyed, stretching out on the soft bed and feeling his head swim again. "When was the last time you ate?" Tezuka asked.
"The last time I ate?" Startled, Oishi had to think about it. He'd skipped breakfast that morning because he was late. He'd missed dinner the night before because he'd been locked in his room, he hadn't eaten his lunch yesterday because he'd been tied up in knots over Eiji, and the same for breakfast. For that matter, he hadn't come out of his room for dinner the night Eiji had confessed to him, either. "Uh..."
"That's answer enough," Tezuka declared with a sigh, moving to sit on the chair next to him. Oishi rolled over to face him, feeling guilty for putting his friend to so much trouble.
"Tezuka, I'm sorry," he apologized wearily. "I just... wasn't paying attention. I'll be fine once I eat something."
Reaching out, Tezuka brushed Oishi's bangs out of his eyes, before resting his fingertips against Oishi's cheek. "Oishi, enough," he said softly. Oishi blinked, confused. "You can't keep on like this, it's killing you. Both of you," he added significantly.
Impossibly, Oishi paled further. He actually felt the blood drain from his face. Tezuka knew. "I... I don't know what you're..." he started to croak desperately.
Tezuka cut him off with a sharp gesture and a frown, though his other hand still rested gently on Oishi's cheek. "You've never lied to me, don't start now," he commanded, and the words died in Oishi's throat.
"Tezuka... I'm sorry," he said, tears welling up in his eyes again. He fought them down, not wanting to seem even weaker than he already must. "I never meant for this to happen. I don't know how it did. I swear, I haven't broken my promise to you! I..."
The fingers on his cheek slid down over his lips, hushing him. "Sometimes promises can't be kept through no fault of your own, Shuuichirou." The use of his given name startled Oishi into staring at his friend. They'd been using only family names since they'd made their promise to each other, as an added way of keeping distance between them.
"Tezuka... Kunimitsu, I still love you," Oishi told him. Seeing Tezuka start to shake his head, he continued quickly, "My feelings for you haven't changed at all!"
"That, I will believe," Tezuka acknowledged, his dark eyes unusually soft. "But you don't love me, Shuuichirou. You never did. Seeing you and Kikumaru pining over each other these last couple of days has made me realize that you and I never had anything that strong between us. If we did, we could never have made that promise in the first place."
"But..." Oishi was badly confused. "I don't understand."
Tezuka sighed, and pushed his glasses more firmly into place. "I think what we had - what we still have, I suppose - was a strong friendship mixed with the natural curiosity and desire to explore that comes at that age," he said softly. "Perhaps if we'd allowed things to follow the course we started on, our feelings would have matured into something worthy of being called 'love'. But we didn't... we pulled away, deliberately focused ourselves on other things. We never gave our feelings the chance to develop; in fact we even stunted our friendship in an effort to separate it from the other part of our relationship.
"I still care for you, Shuuichirou," he added, his voice gentle. "As much as you do for me. But I'm not in love with you, any more than you are with me."
"But if it's only because we didn't let things develop, then they will, once the Nationals are over and we can go back to being like we were before," Oishi insisted around the lump in his throat. This felt horribly like a break-up, and it hurt. He wasn't sure he could handle any more hurt just then.
"If you hadn't fallen in love with Kikumaru, maybe they would have," Tezuka acknowledged. "But can you honestly tell me that, given the chance to choose between us with no other factors involved, you'd choose me over him?"
Anguished, Oishi replied, "Kunimitsu, I promised you..."
"Some promises were never meant to be kept," his friend cut in firmly. "Trying to keep this one now will only destroy the chance we still have for a good friendship. Do you honestly think either of us could ever be happy in a relationship, no matter how far it developed, knowing that you'd rather have been with him instead of me? I know I wouldn't be."
Oishi was stunned. He hadn't really considered how this would all affect things from Tezuka's point of view, except in as much as he'd known it would hurt his friend if he ever found out. He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "So, that's it, then? It's over?"
"Hopefully, it's just beginning," Tezuka corrected him, making him open his eyes again in confusion. "For you and Kikumaru, and for our friendship," he clarified. "Maybe now that you and I aren't fighting to keep our distance, we can stop drifting apart."
"I..." Oishi swallowed hard, humbled. "You're a good friend. Better than I deserve."
"Nonsense." Tezuka stood up as they both heard footsteps in the hall, most likely the nurse returning from her lunch. "Now eat something, rest, and forget about practice this afternoon. You're in no shape to play, and you've got something more important to do."
"Thank you," Oishi said, with all his heart behind the words. Tezuka gave him a small smile in return. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"Help me take the team to the Nationals," Tezuka replied. "That's a promise we can all be happy with."
----------
Deciding that the trick Eiji had used on him yesterday had worked well enough once, Oishi walked to Eiji's house while the rest of the team was at practice. There was always the chance Eiji had skipped practice again, of course, but he doubted it. Missing even one practice, no matter the circumstances, was almost unheard of for the Regulars - you didn't get to be a Regular if you were the kind of person who skipped practice. Everyone would be talking about Oishi missing both practices today as it was.
He charmed his way past Eiji's mother easily enough; he and Eiji both knew each other's families well, having spent many, many evenings and weekends over at each other's houses. Oishi's mother never failed to make Eiji's favourite foods if he was going to be eating over, and Eiji's mother often laughingly referred to Oishi as her 'other youngest son'. She was a little surprised to see Oishi there alone, but didn't question him when he asked if he could await Eiji in his room.
Once upstairs, Oishi found himself at something of a loss. He didn't think he'd ever been this nervous in his entire life. What if Eiji was too upset to forgive him? What if he decided Oishi wasn't worth the trouble? What if it had only been a crush after all, and he'd lost interest in the face of Oishi's rejection? What if...
Before he could work himself into a total frenzy, he heard the front door open and Eiji's voice call out 'I'm home!'. Oishi's heart squeezed at the sound of his friend's voice, and it wasn't entirely from renewed nerves. Eiji sounded... defeated, world-weary, as if all the joy and energy he usually possessed had been sucked out of him somehow.
In short, he sounded pretty much the way Oishi had been feeling for the last few days.
He waited for Eiji's mother to tell his friend that Oishi was there, but there was no reply to Eiji's announcement that he was home. His mother must have been out of hearing, Oishi realized. Which meant Eiji was now trudging his way up the stairs, approaching his room, with absolutely no idea that Oishi was inside.
Standing in the middle of the room, trying not to wring his hands together or make some other equally nervous gesture, Oishi listened as Eiji approached. The knob turned, the door opened, and Eiji made his way inside, all without the redhead looking up far enough to actually see Oishi waiting inside.
Finally, unable to bear waiting a moment longer and wondering if Eiji was going to notice him at all, Oishi spoke. "Eiji?" his voice cracked on the word, and he winced. Well, so much for any hope of sounding confident or in control of himself.
Eiji froze, his back to Oishi, as he'd been turning to close the door again. For a long moment he didn't move or say anything; Oishi wasn't entirely certain he was breathing. Then, slowly, he turned back to face the room, his blue eyes wide and uncertain. "Oishi?" he breathed, the name hardly more than a disbelieving squeak.
"Eiji... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you so much, I thought your mom would tell you I was here like my mom did yesterday," Oishi babbled, unable to gather his thoughts coherently. "I wanted to apologize, and talk to you, and I figured this tactic worked well enough for you yesterday, I might as well try it too..."
The redhead was shaking his head slowly as Oishi spoke, biting his lower lip as if to keep it from trembling. "Nya, Oishi, not now," he said, his voice ragged with barely suppressed emotion. "Later. In a few days, or maybe a few weeks. Or months. Right now it hurts too much. Please?" He begged his partner with his voice and his eyes, pleading with Oishi to leave him be.
Oishi heart nearly broke all over again, seeing the pain he'd put his friend - his love - through. "Eiji, this can't wait," he insisted, stepping forward. Eiji backed up until he hit the door, now looking frantic.
"Oishi, what are you doing?" he demanded, raising his hands as if to ward Oishi off.
"Keeping a promise," Oishi replied, stepping forward again and catching Eiji's hands in his own. He pulled the smaller boy forward into an embrace, wrapping his arms around the slim shoulders and lowering his mouth to cover Eiji's in a quick but sincere kiss.
"Nya, Oishi!" Eiji tried to pull away immediately, sounding scandalized. "What about your other person?"
"He let me go," Oishi said, refusing to release Eiji. He didn't try to kiss him again immediately, but he did run one hand up into the other boy's hair, revelling in the feel of the silky strands against his fingers. "He knows, and he let me go. He said it would be better if I was happy with you, and he and I could still be friends."
"You told him?" Eiji blurted out, wide-eyed. "About us? He wasn't mad?" He stopped resisting Oishi's hold quite as much, but didn't give in completely, as if he still wasn't sure it was really okay.
"I didn't tell him," Oishi shook his head. "He knew something was wrong by the way I was behaving, and he knew about you confessing to me. I think the thing that clinched it was me passing out on him in class today."
Always quick-minded, it didn't take Eiji long to put the facts together. There was only one person Oishi shared classes with that he would have told about Eiji's confession. "It was Tezuka? You passed out on Tezuka?" Eiji looked at him, first shocked, then distressed. "Oishi, you passed out? Why? What happened? Are you sick, are you hurt?"
"Just love-sick," Oishi assured him with a little laugh. "And it didn't help that I hadn't eaten anything since you confessed to me, because I was so stressed out."
Eiji looked horrified. "You haven't eaten anything in two days? Nya, Oishi, hurry! Come downstairs, we'll get you something to eat right away..."
Now laughing outright, Oishi pulled him close again and kissed him softly to hush him. "The nurse fed me, and I slept all afternoon in her office before she let me go, or I wouldn't have made it all the way to your house without passing out again," Oishi told him when he broke the kiss. Eiji stared up at him, wide-eyed and breathless, and it was all Oishi could do not to kiss him again right away. "I'm fine, Eiji. The only thing I want right now is just to be able to hold you and tell you how sorry I am for the what I said and did."
"It's... it's really real?" Eiji asked, still adorably uncertain. "It's really okay nya? Tezuka-buchou isn't going to be mad?"
"He won't be mad," Oishi assured him, raising a hand to stroke his thumb against Eiji's cheek. He couldn't get enough of the soft feel of his partner's skin. "It's really okay. That is, if you can forgive me?"
"Forgive you?" Eiji gave him the same look he had yesterday, the one that said he thought Oishi was lacking in some important mental connections. "For what? Keeping your promises? Oishi, one of the things I love most about you is that you always keep your word, how could I be angry with you for that? I was just upset because you'd made a promise that meant we couldn't be together!"
Unable to believe Eiji could just forgive him so easily, after Oishi had broken his heart so badly, he stared at his friend for a long moment. There was nothing but sincere confusion and honest love in Eiji's eyes, no trace of anger or hurt or even upset. Oishi hugged him tight once more impulsively. "Ah, Eiji, I don't deserve you," he murmured into his partner's hair. "You're too good for me."
"Nope, I'm just perfect for you," Eiji corrected him, snuggling contentedly into Oishi's body, his cheek resting on the taller boy's shoulder. "Just like you're perfect for me, nya."
"I'll agree to the second half of that without arguing, anyway," Oishi said, sighing with pleasure.
"Ne, Oishi?" Eiji tilted his head to look up at him slyly. "If you really want to make it up to me, there's two things you could do..."
"Anything," Oishi promised instantly. "Absolutely anything, Eiji. Name it."
A huge, sunny grin graced Eiji's features. "First, can we go back to playing doubles tomorrow? I missed you really bad, nya."
"Absolutely," Oishi agreed, chuckling. "After all, I already promised you, nothing will break up the Golden Pair, and you know I always keep my promises." Eiji looked ecstatic. "What was the second thing, love?"
"Kiss me again!" Eiji demanded, eyes sparkling. "Right now, and keep doing it until I say stop. Maybe sometime next week."
Laughing, happier in that moment than he could ever remember being, Oishi complied.