Chuck wondered how much Morgan paid this girl Sarah to go out with him. Sitting right across from him was the definition of as good as it gets. Black dress with silky smooth blonde hair pinned up by an alarmingly sharp pin, she was definitely the prettiest girl that he had ever gone out with. Her blue eyes pierced through his own and he wondered what mysteries they held. He didn't completely believe that the only big secret about her was a long-term relationship ending.
These types of girls shouldn't have even taken as much as a second glance at guys like him, much less go out with them. He wondered if the email that Bryce had sent him had somehow transported him to an alternate universe where he had some kind of animal magnetism. I mean it would only make sense right, how else could you explain it?
Now that he thought of it, had he even looked in a mirror recently? What if he had suddenly turned into a Bryce Larkin-like figure with the looks and the bad-boy charm and everything? Now that he thought of it, he should really excuse himself to the bathroom and verify that he was indeed not Bryce Larkin.
"Chuck?" Sarah prompted interrupting him from his thoughts.
"Yes that's me! I think so at least." Chuck muttered near the end.
"Well, is there anything wrong? You were gone for a while there; I was afraid that I scared you off with me talking about my ex Bruce so much!" Sarah laughed nervously.
"I can tell you as a dating expert that the number one rule of dating is never talking about your past relationships." Chuck stated in a serious tone.
"Okay Mr. Dating Expert, from now on, I'll never talk about Bruce ever again. What's in the past is in the past right? No need to dive back into it."
"Right, totally agree with that."
Chuck flashed a shy smile and returned to his meal. They fell into a comfortable silence as they finished their food. As the waiter came around to pick up their plates, Sarah looked up and ask Chuck the question that he was dreading.
"So Chuck, tell me a little bit about your story." Sarah asked with a smile.
Chuck thought about his life up to that point. The scars from his parents leaving were still etched into his memories. Many days of school-sponsored therapy had done little to alleviate his confusion and anger. What did he do wrong? Why did they just take off? Did they even still care about Ellie and him?
"Well I grew up with a loving family- Mom, Dad, and my big sister Ellie. It was great until my parents just decided to get up and leave. Ever since then, Ellie has taken care of me. Cooking, laundry, school, she's been like a rock to me."
"I'm sorry to hear that Chuck, I'm sure that something must have happened for your parents to just leave like that." Sarah replied with attempted sympathy.
"You know what? I've thought about it for a long time and I don't think so." Chuck stated bluntly.
"What reason could possibly justify leaving your own kids and abandoning them? We didn't have any other family members either so I'm sorry but I don't buy that!" I just don't understand what made them suddenly stop loving us." Chuck started in anger and then sadness overcame his voice.
Sarah looked into his confused brown eyes and spoke softly,
"I'm sorry Chuck, I really am, I don't know what to say."
Chuck realized that he had just poured his grief out onto a perfectly wonderful woman on a date.
"No Sarah I'm sorry, I shouldn't be dragging you through my baggage. We agreed to not talk about our past anyways. It doesn't matter anymore, I'm here now on this amazing date with a beautiful woman who I still suspect might be a cannibal." Chuck teased.
"Well if tonight goes well, maybe we'll find out." Sarah replied seductively.
Chuck wasn't sure if he was more attracted or petrified, but vowed to find out.
If someone had told Sarah that she would be here on a real date with Chuck Bartowski when she was first assigned onto the Intercept mission, she would've been confused. For one, Chuck Bartowski was her asset and she would never jeopardize a mission by becoming romantically involved with an asset. She had gone out with Bryce because he was her partner and the work they did just naturally brought them closer together.
Before she met Chuck, Sarah wasn't even into nerdy guys. But a year later and everything changed. She found herself smiling a lot more, and her job didn't even feel like much of a job. She had been so used to always being prepared and assuming the worst.
Ironically nothing could've prepared her for the new challenges that she faced when she was with Chuck. More and more, she's noticed that she's jeopardized the success of missions in order to protect Chuck at all cost. She tells herself that protecting the Intercept is her number 1 priority, but it wasn't the Intercept that she wanted to protect, it was the amazing person it was stored in that she wanted to keep safe. She would do anything to keep Chuck safe, anything.
Sarah asked questioned herself if this was the case, why didn't she bring her gun? Her gun had been a part of her travels all over the world, she trusted it, it was something familiar and safe. But on this occasion she didn't want to bring it with her.
Just for one night, Sarah wanted to be a regular girl going on a date with a guy that she really liked being around. She had always been dedicated to her job as a spy to the point where she had forgotten who she was as a person. As she looked across the table at Chuck eating with chopsticks, she hoped that Chuck could bring her back, show her what it's like to live a life without violence, anger, and mistrust.
"Is there something on my face?" Chuck asked puzzled.
"No it looks as doofy as it usually is." Sarah teased.
"So why have you been staring at me for the past minute and 29 seconds?" Chuck smiled.
She was at a loss for words, usually she didn't make it so obvious that she was looking at Chuck. She was a spy for goodness sakes!
"Just thinking about work." Sarah recovered.
"Tell me more about it Sarah. Let me in." Chuck pleaded.
"Chuck you know that I can't do that. As a CIA officer, there's certain confidential information that I'm just not al-"
"You're leaving soon Sarah." Chuck interrupted abruptly.
"Yes but I-I can't just tell you about my past missions." Sarah stammered, startled by Chuck's directness.
"I'll probably never see you again Sarah. Just tonight let's just talk as dates. No CIA. No asset handler relationship. Just two people who may or not have a strong something between them." Chuck replied.
"I don't know if you'll still feel a strong something for me if you know the whole truth about me. My entire story and history." Sarah confessed.
"Let's start with something simple then. Tell me a mission where you had the most fun."
Sarah thought about how she should answer. If she was honest with herself, she hadn't had many missions that she actually enjoyed. Her personal enjoyment was never considered as an important factor by either herself or the CIA.
"Honestly Chuck, this is the most fun that I've ever had on a mission." Sarah replied bluntly.
"So watching Morgan and I play video games on a Friday night has really done it for you huh?" Chuck said with a widening smile.
Even though he was joking, Sarah knew that there was some truth to that statement. The adventure and adrenaline of the spy life was sometimes intoxicating, but watching Chuck and Morgan having fun shooting with some stupid fake guns was strangely endearing. Just the genuine sense of happiness that they shared with each other over some trivial game was so foreign to her.
"I just find it amusing watching two grown men trying to "360 no scope some noobs" on Call of Duty." Sarah teased.
"Well I'll have you know that we are the very best at 360 no scopes. Do you have any other missions that were half as fun as this one?" Chuck asked, eager to change the topic.
"Well there was this one mission in Ethiopia. There was an international arms dealer using a humanitarian food drive as a front for arms smuggling to rebel groups in Eastern Africa."
"Sounds like fun to me."
"If you would let me explain. After capturing the arms dealer, we raided his storage facility. It turned out that not only was he smuggling weapons, he was hoarding food donations that were meant to be helping the underfed kids sitting right outside the warehouse. When we figured this out, we were able to personally distribute the food to people who actually needed it. It was a rewarding experience since I was able to directly see how I helped make people's lives better. Sometimes I just go in and out, take out some goon and report back to headquarters. It's hard sometimes because there're days where you just question what the hell all of this is for." Sarah rambled.
Sarah waited for Chuck to reply, to get a sense of what he thought of her. His opinion of her was mattering more and more each and every single day.
Finally, Chuck gathered his thoughts.
"Sarah, I've seen you in action. You're not a cold-blooded killer, you do what it takes to get the mission done. But I know that you don't enjoy the actual violence that we sometimes have to face. You're not a killer, you help so many people every single day directly or indirectly. People can go to work and come home to their families due to some of the work that you do. I know the spy life isn't always pretty. But know this Sarah Walker, you're a diamond in a spy world that is full of mud. Sometimes, you'll have to get covered in mud, but deep down inside the diamond is still sparking and beautiful like it's always been."
Sarah didn't know what to say. She had never opened herself up like this to anyone else. But Chuck always had a way to surprise her and exceed her expectations. If she was really going to get reassigned soon, she hoped that one day she would be able to come back home to Burbank and get to know Chuck as a person, not just as an asset. Her work is everything to her, it's the only thing that she's been good at her entire life. As great as Chuck is, it would be difficult to throw away everything that she was familiar with and was good at.
"But what if that diamond gets covered in mud for so long that no one ever remembers that it used to be a diamond?" Sarah asked.
"I won't forget. I know the diamond is there. I'll always be there to polish it off if I can." Chuck replied with a sad smile.
"I don't know Chuck. You do know that I've done things that would leave you running if I told you?"
"I'm not leaving. Whenever you feel like you can tell me about the ugly stuff, I'll be right at the Buy More."
"One day I'll be back here in Burbank Chuck, and I'll tell you my entire story." Sarah promised.
"Okay, I won't push you on anything. But no matter how bad it is, I won't run off. Trust me." Chuck implored.
As the fortune cookies arrived, Sarah thought about all the missions that she could gone on. She realized that she would go through all the pain and danger all over again just for another chance at something real with Chuck.
It's been 1 month since the kiss that changed her life. It wasn't a magical kiss, she didn't remember everything from just one kiss. But it didn't matter. With that kiss, she knew that it was only going to be a matter of time before they had new memories that were just as beautiful as the ones that she struggles to remember. With that kiss, she committed herself to staying and figuring out how they would navigate their new relationship. After all the stories that he told her on the beach, there was no way that she could run away from him.
The month after the kiss had been mostly spent getting accustomed to normal life. They'd spend each night together visiting someplace that held special meaning to them, places like the hospital where he had proposed to her, and the Chinese restaurant where they had their first real date. Sarah was beginning to remember not just her old memories, but more importantly why she first fell for Chuck. His positivity, his ability to make light of any situation, and his patience, all of it. As Chuck was making dinner, Sarah looked over at him and wondered exactly what she had done to deserve someone like him.
So why was she so nervous as she prepared to ask Chuck out on a real date? She knew that he would say yes. Yet still, a small part of her always worried that he would eventually get tired of waiting for her and just move on with his life.
"Hey Chuck, can I ask you something?" Sarah piped.
"Is it about the delicious chicken pepperoni that I'm making?"
"Ah no. I was wondering if you'd like to go out on a date with me sometime?"
Chuck froze while he was washing the cutlery.
"Really, a real date with the new Sarah Walker?" Chuck recovered.
"That is if you'd still want to go out with the new Sarah Walker?" Sarah asked in a hopeful tone.
"Sarah you could be Sarah Walker version 345 and I'd still drop everything to spend an hour just talking to you." Chuck said with a heart-felt smile.
Sarah warmed in her belly. Once again wondering what on Earth the "original" Sarah Walker had done to deserve the love of Chuck Bartowski.
They drove off to a nice Italian place and sat down at a window table.
"So what will the lovely couple be ordering tonight?" Their waiter Ernesto asked.
"Oh well we're not exactly a couple per-se. Hem, haha you know how it is in today's world, I don't really wanna push any labels around. Let's just say that it's complicated." Chuck rambled.
"No it's okay Chuck, we're a couple." Sarah stated plainly with a smile.
Chuck gave a shy grin, "Okay, I would like as my starter, the four cheese bread and as my main the lobster spaghetti please."
"Excellent selection, and for the lady?" Ernesto asked.
Sarah looked at the menu with trepidation, she could not remember what she always liked to order from this place. Looking at Chuck for help, he nodded and gave a quick grin.
"If my lady allows it, I would like to order for her the whole wheat Cheesy Rigatoni with Roasted Potatoes and Cabbage."
"That sounds lovely, thanks Chuck." Sarah replied while handing the menu back to the waiter.
"Excellent, I'll be out with the bread momentarily."
It still shocked her that Chuck knew more about her than she did herself. She must've opened up to him completely, something that confused her. The spy that Sarah Walker knew would've only given as much information as needed for the mission. Her walls were solid and impenetrable from even the cruelest of interrogators. How did a dorky, adorable computer nerd find a way in?
"Chuck how did you know that I even loved you? What if everything that I did was for a cover?"
"Well Sarah, does the fact that you agreed to marry me convince you?" Chuck replied annoyed.
"Maybe I was under the direction of the CIA." Sarah pushed.
"Okay let me tell his story to ease that crazy insecure head of yours."
"I'm not crazy, it's just that I don't get how two people that are so unlike could fall for each other."
"I don't know how it happened either. Well I know how I fell for you, the sexy spy skills, the beautiful figure you had the-"
"Had?'
"Still do sorry, anyways the beautiful blue eyes and the little smile that you gave. Most importantly, the way you said hi Chuck when we first met up every day just got me hooked." Chuck finished with a smile.
"What about me, how did I get hooked?"
"I don't know when or how but I knew when I realized what you were willingly to give up for me. Whenever I was in danger, Sarah Walker the CIA spy went out the door. You were willingly to do anything as long as it kept me safe. I remember once when they almost put me in a secure holding facility, you pulled a gun on a CIA agent. A CIA agent Sarah!" Chuck exclaimed.
Sarah was stunned. The CIA was everything to her. She gave up her family and what little friends she did have to join it. She was planning on throwing it all away just to keep Chuck safe?
"I was willingly to do anything to keep you safe." Sarah repeated.
"Yes and eventually as we got closer, I realized that your number one reason behind keeping me safe shifted from protecting the Intercept to protecting me."
"I really did love you didn't I?"
"You did, I did too. Love you I meant, not love me cause that would've been totally weird." Chuck stammered.
As their waiter arrived with the food, Sarah thought about everything the CIA had taught her about suppressing love and deeper emotions. It didn't matter anymore, she would have given up the CIA for Chuck before and she would today. She just needed to know for sure that what she and Chuck had before she had lost her memory had been the real deal. But she knew now, this is exactly where we wanted to be with the exact person that she wanted to be with.
"Are you ready to eat?" Sarah asked, looking Chuck straight in his eyes.
"Let's do it."
In the mental health ward of her hospital, Ellie looked on at his brother sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed. She wondered what sort of man she would find as he woke up this morning. Faced with Alzheimer's, Chuck struggled on most days to remember the family he had and sometimes even who he was.
One thing never changed though, Chuck was always so happy every single day, seeing the world through new eyes. She knew that eventually the disease would break him down and he would become unrecognizable, but she learned from Chuck to take things day by day.
As he stirred and woke up, she heard someone approaching her. Speaking of things that never changed.
"Good morning Ellie." Sarah spoke softly.
"Hello to you too Sarah, you're here early today." Ellie replied with a smile.
"Didn't sleep too well last night. So how is he?"
"He hasn't gotten any worse this past week. Still struggling to remember his old life. He did win some games of Connect Four against some of the other patients. He got really happy from that." Ellie chucked.
"Same old Chuck." Sarah mused.
"Let's see if that's the case today." Ellie said as she pushed open the door to Chuck's room.
"Hi Chuck how are you feeling today?" Ellie asked.
"Hi Doctor, I'm feeling pretty spiffy if I do say so myself." Chuck said with bright eyes.
"This is Sarah, do you remember her?" Ellie asked hopefully.
"Well she's not a doctor since she's not wearing a white coat. Are you a maintenance worker?" Chuck replied confused.
Ellie heard Sarah laugh sadly. "No she's not Chuck, she's someone very special to you."
"Is she? Is she a co-worker?"
"No Chuck I'm your wife." Sarah answered softly.
"My wife? I'm married?" Chuck asked incredulously.
"Yes we're married Chuck." Sarah took his hand with hers.
Chuck blushed, "I'm sorry I think there's been a mistake. There's no way that I could've pulled off someone as beautiful as this."
Ellie saw Sarah roll her eyes. "Trust me Chuck, if you knew our story you would know that it's me who's the lucky one."
"You're my wife?" Chuck repeated like he still couldn't believe it.
"Yes I was, I am, and I always will be." Sarah said reassuringly.
Chuck opened his eyes wide, smiled his signature shy smile. Ellie saw this act every single day, but she still felt her heart warm. Every single day, he had to be convinced that Sarah Walker was his wife. On most days he would be convinced and that first instance of realization, the way that he would smile at her and how his eyes would light up with disbelief. It never got old, even as they slowly did.
"Well Sarah, my wife, would you like to grab breakfast with me?" Chuck asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"I would love that." Sarah replied with tears starting to form in her eyes.
"Hey, hey why are you crying? Was I that bad a husband that you don't even want to go on a date with me anymore?" Chuck asked softly with a sad smile.
"No no no, I'm just happy to see you again." Sarah replied wiping her tears away.
Ellie helped Chuck get ready onto his wheelchair. The three of them headed towards the cafeteria for breakfast.
"So Doctor, what are we having for breakfast?" Chuck asked curiously.
"I think we are having either hash browns with ham & cheese omelets, or sausage and eggs."
"Sounds delicious. What should I get?"
"I think that you would enjoy the ham & cheese option more." Sarah piped.
"But the sausage smell so nice." Chuck said with his nose in the air as they entered the cafeteria.
"But it'll spoil your lunch, you never eat much lunch after having sausage and eggs for breakfast."
"Really? Okay I'll trust you on that Sarah my wife."
"You know you don't have to say my wife every single time you say my name."
"I'm just trying to convince myself that someone like you could be my wife."
"You better believe it." Sarah said jokingly.
Ellie looked on at their friendly banter, even after all these years, and with no memories of Sarah on Chuck's end, they could still pull this off. They could still start the process of falling for each all over again every single day.
They got their breakfast and sat down at a nearby table.
"I'll leave you guys to talk." Ellie said as she sat down with some other doctors but was still within earshot of their conversation.
"So if I'm really your husband, does that mean that we also have kids?" Chuck asked.
"Yes, their names are Matilda and Levi." Sarah said proudly.
"Really? That's incredible!" Chuck said excitedly.
"Yea they're pretty great, they're planning to come see you tomorrow. Are you excited?"
Chuck looked crestfallen, "I guess, but I don't really know how to be a father, what if I'm really bad at it?"
"You won't be Chuck, I've seen you raise them to be great parents themselves."
"But what I am? I'm sorry but I don't think that I should meet them."
Sarah smiled patiently, "You know Chuck, I used to feel the same way about being a mother. Let me tell you one of our stories and you'll see how much you helped me overcome that fear.
Sarah was 4 months pregnant and at home watching a TV show. A sudden realization hit her during a commercial, what if she would end up being a bad mother? Her mother didn't exactly have the greatest relationship with her, and some of the things she did as a spy proved that she had a black heart. How could she raise a child in a loving environment after all the terrible things that she's done? She couldn't be a good mother, Chuck deserved so much more than her. As the thoughts bombarded her, she shelled up into a ball and just lay on the couch weeping. 2 hours later, Chuck came home from work and immediately knew that something was wrong.
"Hey, hey what's wrong. Is the baby kicking you again? Is it the sore feet?" Chuck pleaded.
"No Chuck, it's me. I'm an animal, how could I possibly be a good mother?" Sarah cried.
"That's total crap, I've seen you with Clara, you'll be a great mother!"
"NO I won't because I'm a spy who's incapable of opening myself up to people. How is our child supposed to grow up in a loving environment when I can't even express my love to her?"
Chuck was taken back, he really didn't know how to placate a 4 month pregnant spy.
"Look Sarah, I know that you struggle to express your feelings, but I know it'll be different with our kid. I've seen all the research and books you've read, all the preparations that you've done. If that's not expressing your love, then what is?"
"I'm doing all this because I'm scared Chuck, no amount of preparation is going to prepare me to be a good mother!"
"You have to trust me Sarah, I've seen the warm and loving side of you. You'll just have to show it more often and you'll be fine. You're still a diamond Sarah.
Sarah sniffed, feeling slightly better and a bit embarrassed about the whole situation.
"But how do you know for sure Chuck? What if I'm a bad mother and I push both of you away?"
"Look Sarah, there's nothing that I know for sure. Except that I'll always be here for you and that I'll always love you. I didn't know for sure that you would like me when we first met. I didn't know for sure that you would go out on with me. I didn't know for sure that you would be willingly to spend the rest of your life with me. But I took all of those chances because it's worth it Sarah, you're worth it. If I ever had to take a chance on something, I would do it with you in a heartbeat Sarah because you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
"And just like that, you managed to reassure me that I would be a good mother". Sarah finished.
"Wow I did all of that, I said all of that?"
"Yes you did Chuck, you were always there for me when I struggled the most with my own demons."
Chuck smiled and resumed eating. For a while they just ate, drinking in each other's presence.
"I want to show you something." Chuck said shyly.
Chuck reached into his pants and started to pull something out.
"Chuck what're you doing?" Sarah whispered alarmed.
Chuck pulled out a picture, it was the picture of them together that she used to always carry in her suitcase. His arms were around hers, and they looked beaming with happiness.
Sarah gasped, her words stuck in her throat, tears instantly sprang up. Just when she thought that Chuck had shown all the surprises up his sleeves, he managed to surprise her yet again.
"This is important right? I keep it with me at all times. I don't always remember why, but when I see this picture I see how happy I was and it's easy to see why that is. I looked happy because I was standing beside this amazingly beautiful woman. Most days I don't remember who it is and why we're taking a picture together. But when you walk through that door every morning, I remember you from the photo. Sometimes I forget who you are to me, but when I see you, I never forget how you make me feel. Every day I'm so shocked to realize that the girl in the picture is you. You're my wife Sarah. I can't remember what I did to deserve you, but what I can do is to make sue to dedicate every day with you to show you how much you mean to me."
"Chuck." Sarah whimpered.
"Sarah I can't promise that I'll remember every day. But I need you to do something for me. Just tell me our story. Some parts of me will come back. I'll come back to you. I don't care if I have to fall for you every single day if I have to. Tell me our story, and I will. I'll fall for you Sarah Walker, because I fell for you a long time ago and time won't change that.
"Okay, I will Chuck, everyday." Sarah said bursting into tears.
"Okay?"
"Okay."
"So tell me our story Sarah." Chuck said with a bright smile.
She looked at his face, wrinkled from age and years of stress. She probably looked the exact same. One thing didn't change about Chuck though, his eyes were still so bright and his smiles had somehow become wider than even more.
"It all started with a guy called Chuck who worked a Buy More." Sarah started.