1.Cherry!

Disclaimer:Me no owney Twilight-y. Got it? Good. Oh yeah, I don't own Lil Weezy either. Dammit.

Bella:Edward, I need to tell you something.

Edward:What is it, Love?

-Bella's All Twitchy and Shiznit-

Bella:Edward, I'm leaving you.

-Edward's eyes about to bug out of his freakin' mind-

Edward:But,but..Why?! What did I do wrong?! Is it because I wanted to protect your virtue by not changing you into an immortal/vampire?!

Bella:Edward, I just found someone else. Sorry.

Edward:Who?

Bella:A banana!

Edward:But it's not even human!

Bella:Neither are you.

Edward:Yeah, but at least I'm not an inatimate object!

-Bella rolls eyes-

Bella:I hate to tell you this, but you sorta are.

-Jasper and Emmett pop up out of no where-

Jasper:HA! Bella left you! For a dayum banana! Hahahaha!

Edward:Where'd you come from?!

Emmett:I dunno. Ask the author.

Everyone looks at Author

Author:What?! I'm drinking Monster, okay?! Geesh! M'kay..back to story..

Edward:Umm..okay. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah. -clears throat- Where did you guys come from and why are you here?

Jasper:We're looking for our puppets!

Bella:Wow this author is random.

Author:Ugh, whatever Belluh! At least I'M a vampire! MWAH-HA-HA-HA!

Emmett:Anywayes. Hey Edward is a 107 year old virgin!

-Jake pops out-

Jake:Oo Burn!

Edward glares and growls

Jasper:Yeah, Edward! You and your laydee ever gonna do it?!

Edward:But..

Emmett:No excuses, budday! When you gonna pop Bella's cherry already? When you gonna put your celery in her bleu cheese? When yo-

-Edward picks up Emmett and punts him to China-

Jasper:Dayummmmm Edward you need to get layed big time!

-Edward does the same to Jasper-

Bella:Um, as I was saying before all these people so rudely interupted me was that I'm leaving you for a banana!

Edward:No! How dare you! You will not! If I can't have you, no human, vampire, dog, or any other mythical creature that may live un-noticed in this world can!

Edward bites Bella

Bella:OW! What the Crap?! You freakin' bit me you devilishly sexy, sexilicious, hot 107 year old virgin vampire! Ow ow owie!

Edward:I'm sexilicous?! Sweet!

-Edward runs off to be a Calvin Klein model in Where? Italy!-

Bella:No! My life is over! I'm gonna go Cliff Dive in La Push like in New Moon!

-Jacob magically appears again-

Jake:Sweet!

-End Chapter-

Wow. I'm crazy. Yuppers. So yeah the popped cherry and celery/bleu cheese thing was inspired by Lil Wayne songs. I lovee him! I lurve him like a fat kid love's banana's! Lol. I heart being random! Well yeah I have some more thingys written and I'll type them up and update whenever I feel like it. Hee. Like I will say in a upcoming chappie, I will update whenever! But yeah, don't fret! I won't take years to update! But you don't have to review cause I'll update, well, whenever, with or without your consent! You can if you like, but all I'm sayin' is you not reviewing will not stop me from updating. Thankss B! On yeah, I personally thought this was sorta funny but not really that great but yeah it'll get funnier. To me. One last thing:If you would like to submit ideas for later chappies PM me or Add my Myspace, (Link in Profile) and PM me or leave a comment with your idea. Gracias! Oh just in case you didn't read the description, all of the things in the chappies are my ideas, unless I say so. Ok. Bye!

-Lori-