"This is the end," Lex thinks and he knows it this time, he has been held at gunpoint many times in his life but always with the thought that he would be saved, that his angel would save him. But not this time, he felt the finality of the situation, felt reality sink in, he was going to die and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. It felt odd to him, like he was somehow removed from the situation, like he was already dead.
He knew the truth to that though, he was still alive, alive enough to beg like the gunman wanted but not alive enough to care. He no longer had any reason to beg for his worthless life, and it was worthless. He was now in control of Luthorcorp once again merged with Lexcorp; he was the richest most powerful man in Metropolis, probably the country. But none of that meant anything anymore, nothing did. Not since he realized that no one was coming to save him, not since he stopped earning the right to be saved. He had given up, what choice did he have?
The one man in this whole world he thought that would always save him, especially from himself had given up on him. The one man that had such a savior complex that he donned blue tights and a cape to save even the worthless beggars in Suicide Slums had deemed him unworthy of his help. The one man that he thought cared enough about him that he would be there when Lex fell, when he gave up trying to control the world and was ready to just settle down and live a normal life, had moved on. Stopped caring.
How many times had he been saved? How long did he expect to be saved? His life tokens had finally run out and as his time was running short on this planet he wondered if he ever actually changed. But something did change in him that day when his life was breathed back into him on a riverbank by a 15-year-old angel; he grew up. He thought that it had meant that he was now unattached to the Luthor family business, that he wasn't going to become his father, that he was really a good man. All because of his angel, the angel that made him believe that he wasn't his father that stood by him even when all his family and friends told him otherwise.
Too bad Lex couldn't have embraced that and cut himself off from Lionel and stop trying to one up him. If Lex had of walked away from Luthorcorp that day on the riverbank, he wouldn't be standing here with a gun at his temple. He knows this now; everything could have been different if he could have only let go of the darkness inside him.
The darkness that his angel had kept at bay, that he could fight as long as he had his angel by his side. But he screwed that up as well; he wouldn't be a Luthor if he didn't. He pushed so hard to find out all of his angel's secrets that he pushed his angel away.
So now all that he has left was the truth to all of the secrets and a gun to his head. And now matter how much he desperately wished for his angel back, he knew that it was over. He no longer had a chance at normalcy, no longer had a chance for happiness. All that he had left was a multibillion-dollar corporation and no one to share his success with.
When all that he really wanted was someone to love, someone to hold and to have hold him, when he was younger he thought that he could have both his company and love. Now he knows the difference, to gain his company he had to become something that not even his angel, that can see the good in everyone, could love. Someone that was more inhuman than the being that landed in Smallville the day of the meteor shower. Looking back on his life he would have done things differently, wouldn't of pushed his angel into divulging his secrets, wouldn't have done so much to conquer his father and end up losing himself.
He has lost a lot in his life, his mother, his hair and his most recent loss his angel. They haven't spoken since Lex left Smallville 7 years ago but he never felt the loss. He always felt like his angel was there, whether it was when their eyes met in a press conference or when he made it safely home while walking on a dangerous street at night. He always felt his angel's presence, but now nothing. He was finally truly alone, just like is father had always said he would be.
Now with the gun pressed to his head he heard the click of the man cocking the gun and his deep raspy voice saying, "Are you ready to die Lex?"
Lex swallowed hard and nodded his head, "Yes."
He was answered with a long deep laugh and the pressure of the gun at his temple. Lex closed his eyes and prepared himself for the end and just before the trigger was pulled he whispered, "I'm sorry my angel, I will always love you. Goodbye Clark."