Title: Broken Hammers (1/1)
Author: Serenity Goddess
Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own any of this.
Author's Note: Haha, the return of Serenity! Watch out world! Erm yeah.
This takes place after season six. Willow's off in England recovering, and
Spike still hasn't come back from wherever it was he went (it's not
important).
--------- "What's up Buffster?" Xander peeked into Dawn's room.
"I'm trying to nail this window shut, but I keep bending the nails, " Buffy answered between several loud poundings. "And, breaking the hammers."
She pointed helplessly at the two broken hammers lying by her side. One of the hammers seemed to have broken into two, the other one was missing its head. Buffy was currently pounding a third, new, hammer into a bent nail. Several other nails seemed to have fallen victim as well, as they poked out awkwardly from the window Buffy was trying to nail shut.
"For a minute there I thought you were baking again."
Buffy raised an eyebrow at him and put her hammer down. "For the last time, those muffins were supposed to be hard. I planned it like that."
"Well, any reason for you doing that eludes me," Xander said as he strolled in. "But I'm sure you work in mysterious ways."
"If you must know, I thought you were getting a little tubby," She poked at his stomach with the end of her hammer gently, "So I figured that was the way to go."
"What, break my teeth on rock hard muffins so I can't eat anything else? Wicked."
"The important thing is that I tried." Buffy turned back to the window. "Which is more than I can say for you, Mr. Oh-God-The-Kitchen-Is-On-Fire- Save-Yourself."
"It was a high flame. The book said low flame."
"I don't follow everything that's in the book."
"I believe your muffins firmly accentuate that point." Xander leaned over her shoulder. "Why are you nailing this window shut anyways?"
"Oh, Dawn's going through that awkward teenage phase," Buffy answered him without looking back, continuously hammering the stubborn nail into the wood. "Where she wants to sneak out, kiss boys, play truant. You know."
"And you figured the best way would be to lock her up like an animal?"
Buffy turned back to look at him. "Oh, I wouldn't say animal. okay, maybe like a cute little monkey. But not like Mrs. Hendricks' one, that little freak gives me the nerves."
Xander sat down on the edge of Dawn's bed, playfully bouncing up and down on it. "You know, if you needed help, you could have asked me. I am after all, Lord of Wood."
"That sounds disgusting."
"Fine. Lord of Carpentry. Whatever." Xander laid back on Dawn's bed and stretched out. "Would have saved you a lot of time. And nails. And hammers."
Buffy stopped and looked at the hammer she was holding. "You know, I never knew we had so many hammers around the house in the first place."
"Well, you don't anymore. And after this, I think you'll be pretty low on nails, too."
"Funny. What's this, Xander Harris Live at The Summers', One Night Only?"
"It's two o'clock in the afternoon, so no."
Buffy decided to ignore him and turned back to her window. She slammed her hammer down on the window-sill a bit too hard, cracking the hammer's handle and breaking it into two. "Ah, damn."
"Another casualty?" Xander looked from the bed, hardly interested. "It's a hammer massacre."
"You know, you'd be a lot more useful if you stopped lying there making sarcastic remarks, and help me strip away what the little of Dawn's freedom that remains."
"Say no more." Xander jumped up and walked to the window. He surveyed the carpentry nightmare that Buffy had inflicted upon the window, and then looked back at Buffy.
"Well?" She asked impatiently.
"Well," Xander mimicked her, "As much fun as it is driving nails through woods using my bare hands, I normally prefer to use a tool commonly known as a hammer. You should know what it is, you've seem to have broken every one in California."
"Ha, ha," The slayer gave him a fake laugh. "Your wit is astounding. Why, I will certainly be laughing about this for years to come."
A silence followed for about twenty seconds.
"Uh- Buffy?"
"What?"
"Hammer?"
"Yeah, oh right." Buffy spun around. "I'll see if I can find you another one. If you're lucky we bought them in sets of five. That means we would have two more left. I'll see if I can find them."
"Try not to break them on the way up , okay?"
"Shut up, Xander," Buffy said as she marched out of the room. "Shut up."
* * * * *
"And, behold." Xander took a step back and spread his arms towards the window. "Check out this window. Nailed shut. Perfectly shut. It would take two of you to break this baby open."
Buffy crossed her arms and examined it carefully. "Good."
"I don't think Dawn would be very pleased with this, you know," Xander said, as he put down his hammer and sat on the edge of Dawn's bed. "And if you could, try not avoid mentioning my involvement in this little Nazi Prison Camp scenario building."
"Well, I'll try," Buffy said, "But I don't think she'll believe I nailed that shut all by myself."
"Maybe you could show her the broken hammers. She'll believe you then."
"Enough about the broken hammers. How long do you intend to go on with that?"
"As long as I can remain charmingly witty."
"Well, I think you'll need to travel back a good six, seven years for that." Buffy scooped up the broken hammer parts and dumped them in the wastepaper basket under Dawn's desk.
Xander drove an imaginary stake through his heart. "Ow, the words. cut through . heart. so painful."
Buffy shook her head and smiled. "All grown up, but still so much like a kid."
"What can I say? Women love that boyish charm of mine."
"Yeah, I am after all talking to Man of April for Drywall Monthly."
"Speaking of that, I don't see that calendar anywhere around your house," Xander looked about interestedly. "I would think you ladies would like a little beefcake around."
"Well, as much as Dawn protested, I just thought it would be creepy to have a picture of you shirtless pretending to plaster something, up in my house for a whole month."
"Hey!"
"I'm sorry, but plaster really freaks me out."
Xander gave a chuckle.
"Yeah, what is it? What is it made of? Why does it feel the way it does? It just frightens me."
"If you really want to know, plaster is actually made out of a combination of seve."
"I don't."
"Are you sure?"
"I think it'll just freak me out even more." Buffy sat on Dawn's bed beside him.
"Is Dawn still at school?" Xander peered at the clock on the table by the bed. "Seems a little late."
"Oh, no, she has this club thing she has to do," Buffy laid back and grabbed one of the pillows. "At least she's joining a club. My after-school activities included prowling around a graveyard with a stick. It looked very bad on my transcripts. And speaking of which, why are you here anyways? No work?"
"Blah, I took the day off."
"Why?"
"Didn't really feel like dry walling anything today. Called in sick, actually, so if anybody asks, I'm suffering for bronchitis." He gave her a couple of fake coughs.
"Uh. So you took the whole day off, but only bothered to come here in the late afternoon," Buffy looked at him, "I'm glad I'm way up on your priority list."
"Well to be honest, I was afraid if I came earlier you would have me do things," Xander replied with a cheeky grin. "Like the last time. Shopping for groceries, cleaning windows, fixing your fan, checking your gas. I felt like Cinderella. Only prettier."
"I'm sorry, it's just that sometimes us girls needs a big, strong , macho man around the house."
"Ha, you're not trying that on me again. The last time I fell for that I was carrying your bookshelf up and down the stairs."
"I just thought it would look better in the hall."
"And then your bedroom."
"Yeah, yeah, so I exploit you. Big deal. That's what friends are for, to exploit, and be exploited. I wouldn't even talk to you otherwise." Buffy got up. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."
"Don't you want to wait for Dawn to get home?"
"Not really. I don't want to hear that long piercing wail of hers when she finds out what I did to her window. Hehe. Although, I think that's partly why I do the things I do."
She got up.
"Hey Buffy?"
"What?"
"Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" Xander looked her straight in the eye.
"Yeah, sure. I don't have any plans later. I never do." She turned to go. "We'd better hurry, lil' sis might be back anytime soon."
"I meant . as . have dinner with me." Xander stood up.
"Oh," Buffy turned around. "Oh, you mean.. have dinner with you, as in have dinner with you. I thought you meant have dinner as in take up modern dance and then do cartwheels around the park. Really, what's wrong with you."
"I meant like a date."
"Oh." Her voice fell. "You meant like that."
"Uh-huh. If you don't want to, that's fine, I mean, I was."
"Why so sudden?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Why? Pretty out of the blue."
"I don't know," Xander sat down on the bed again. "I guess. in a way this was coming for a long while now. I mean, after Anya. and. I don't know. This past few weeks, we've been getting along pretty well, and I just thought. You know what, forget it. I was probably just reading too much into something."
"Well, Xander, I'm. flattered that you asked," She sat down beside him and put his hand on his shoulder. "It's just -."
"Yeah, I know the drill." He looked at her. "Nah, really, it's no big deal. I understand. It was stupid of me to ask anyways."
"I was going to say . the timing's just way wrong," said Buffy. "I mean. with Willow. I don't think it's the best time for us to be - changing anything."
"Okay."
"If you ask me again. later.. You never know what I might say."
Xander gave her a smile. "No. I guess I don't."
"So, you want to grab a bite or what? I'm starving." She got up and walked out of the room. "I actually intend to eat something before I wither away into a bag of bones."
Xander didn't say anything for a few moments, and just sat there on the edge of the bed.
"No." He repeated the words to himself softly. "I guess I don't."
--------- "What's up Buffster?" Xander peeked into Dawn's room.
"I'm trying to nail this window shut, but I keep bending the nails, " Buffy answered between several loud poundings. "And, breaking the hammers."
She pointed helplessly at the two broken hammers lying by her side. One of the hammers seemed to have broken into two, the other one was missing its head. Buffy was currently pounding a third, new, hammer into a bent nail. Several other nails seemed to have fallen victim as well, as they poked out awkwardly from the window Buffy was trying to nail shut.
"For a minute there I thought you were baking again."
Buffy raised an eyebrow at him and put her hammer down. "For the last time, those muffins were supposed to be hard. I planned it like that."
"Well, any reason for you doing that eludes me," Xander said as he strolled in. "But I'm sure you work in mysterious ways."
"If you must know, I thought you were getting a little tubby," She poked at his stomach with the end of her hammer gently, "So I figured that was the way to go."
"What, break my teeth on rock hard muffins so I can't eat anything else? Wicked."
"The important thing is that I tried." Buffy turned back to the window. "Which is more than I can say for you, Mr. Oh-God-The-Kitchen-Is-On-Fire- Save-Yourself."
"It was a high flame. The book said low flame."
"I don't follow everything that's in the book."
"I believe your muffins firmly accentuate that point." Xander leaned over her shoulder. "Why are you nailing this window shut anyways?"
"Oh, Dawn's going through that awkward teenage phase," Buffy answered him without looking back, continuously hammering the stubborn nail into the wood. "Where she wants to sneak out, kiss boys, play truant. You know."
"And you figured the best way would be to lock her up like an animal?"
Buffy turned back to look at him. "Oh, I wouldn't say animal. okay, maybe like a cute little monkey. But not like Mrs. Hendricks' one, that little freak gives me the nerves."
Xander sat down on the edge of Dawn's bed, playfully bouncing up and down on it. "You know, if you needed help, you could have asked me. I am after all, Lord of Wood."
"That sounds disgusting."
"Fine. Lord of Carpentry. Whatever." Xander laid back on Dawn's bed and stretched out. "Would have saved you a lot of time. And nails. And hammers."
Buffy stopped and looked at the hammer she was holding. "You know, I never knew we had so many hammers around the house in the first place."
"Well, you don't anymore. And after this, I think you'll be pretty low on nails, too."
"Funny. What's this, Xander Harris Live at The Summers', One Night Only?"
"It's two o'clock in the afternoon, so no."
Buffy decided to ignore him and turned back to her window. She slammed her hammer down on the window-sill a bit too hard, cracking the hammer's handle and breaking it into two. "Ah, damn."
"Another casualty?" Xander looked from the bed, hardly interested. "It's a hammer massacre."
"You know, you'd be a lot more useful if you stopped lying there making sarcastic remarks, and help me strip away what the little of Dawn's freedom that remains."
"Say no more." Xander jumped up and walked to the window. He surveyed the carpentry nightmare that Buffy had inflicted upon the window, and then looked back at Buffy.
"Well?" She asked impatiently.
"Well," Xander mimicked her, "As much fun as it is driving nails through woods using my bare hands, I normally prefer to use a tool commonly known as a hammer. You should know what it is, you've seem to have broken every one in California."
"Ha, ha," The slayer gave him a fake laugh. "Your wit is astounding. Why, I will certainly be laughing about this for years to come."
A silence followed for about twenty seconds.
"Uh- Buffy?"
"What?"
"Hammer?"
"Yeah, oh right." Buffy spun around. "I'll see if I can find you another one. If you're lucky we bought them in sets of five. That means we would have two more left. I'll see if I can find them."
"Try not to break them on the way up , okay?"
"Shut up, Xander," Buffy said as she marched out of the room. "Shut up."
* * * * *
"And, behold." Xander took a step back and spread his arms towards the window. "Check out this window. Nailed shut. Perfectly shut. It would take two of you to break this baby open."
Buffy crossed her arms and examined it carefully. "Good."
"I don't think Dawn would be very pleased with this, you know," Xander said, as he put down his hammer and sat on the edge of Dawn's bed. "And if you could, try not avoid mentioning my involvement in this little Nazi Prison Camp scenario building."
"Well, I'll try," Buffy said, "But I don't think she'll believe I nailed that shut all by myself."
"Maybe you could show her the broken hammers. She'll believe you then."
"Enough about the broken hammers. How long do you intend to go on with that?"
"As long as I can remain charmingly witty."
"Well, I think you'll need to travel back a good six, seven years for that." Buffy scooped up the broken hammer parts and dumped them in the wastepaper basket under Dawn's desk.
Xander drove an imaginary stake through his heart. "Ow, the words. cut through . heart. so painful."
Buffy shook her head and smiled. "All grown up, but still so much like a kid."
"What can I say? Women love that boyish charm of mine."
"Yeah, I am after all talking to Man of April for Drywall Monthly."
"Speaking of that, I don't see that calendar anywhere around your house," Xander looked about interestedly. "I would think you ladies would like a little beefcake around."
"Well, as much as Dawn protested, I just thought it would be creepy to have a picture of you shirtless pretending to plaster something, up in my house for a whole month."
"Hey!"
"I'm sorry, but plaster really freaks me out."
Xander gave a chuckle.
"Yeah, what is it? What is it made of? Why does it feel the way it does? It just frightens me."
"If you really want to know, plaster is actually made out of a combination of seve."
"I don't."
"Are you sure?"
"I think it'll just freak me out even more." Buffy sat on Dawn's bed beside him.
"Is Dawn still at school?" Xander peered at the clock on the table by the bed. "Seems a little late."
"Oh, no, she has this club thing she has to do," Buffy laid back and grabbed one of the pillows. "At least she's joining a club. My after-school activities included prowling around a graveyard with a stick. It looked very bad on my transcripts. And speaking of which, why are you here anyways? No work?"
"Blah, I took the day off."
"Why?"
"Didn't really feel like dry walling anything today. Called in sick, actually, so if anybody asks, I'm suffering for bronchitis." He gave her a couple of fake coughs.
"Uh. So you took the whole day off, but only bothered to come here in the late afternoon," Buffy looked at him, "I'm glad I'm way up on your priority list."
"Well to be honest, I was afraid if I came earlier you would have me do things," Xander replied with a cheeky grin. "Like the last time. Shopping for groceries, cleaning windows, fixing your fan, checking your gas. I felt like Cinderella. Only prettier."
"I'm sorry, it's just that sometimes us girls needs a big, strong , macho man around the house."
"Ha, you're not trying that on me again. The last time I fell for that I was carrying your bookshelf up and down the stairs."
"I just thought it would look better in the hall."
"And then your bedroom."
"Yeah, yeah, so I exploit you. Big deal. That's what friends are for, to exploit, and be exploited. I wouldn't even talk to you otherwise." Buffy got up. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."
"Don't you want to wait for Dawn to get home?"
"Not really. I don't want to hear that long piercing wail of hers when she finds out what I did to her window. Hehe. Although, I think that's partly why I do the things I do."
She got up.
"Hey Buffy?"
"What?"
"Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" Xander looked her straight in the eye.
"Yeah, sure. I don't have any plans later. I never do." She turned to go. "We'd better hurry, lil' sis might be back anytime soon."
"I meant . as . have dinner with me." Xander stood up.
"Oh," Buffy turned around. "Oh, you mean.. have dinner with you, as in have dinner with you. I thought you meant have dinner as in take up modern dance and then do cartwheels around the park. Really, what's wrong with you."
"I meant like a date."
"Oh." Her voice fell. "You meant like that."
"Uh-huh. If you don't want to, that's fine, I mean, I was."
"Why so sudden?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Why? Pretty out of the blue."
"I don't know," Xander sat down on the bed again. "I guess. in a way this was coming for a long while now. I mean, after Anya. and. I don't know. This past few weeks, we've been getting along pretty well, and I just thought. You know what, forget it. I was probably just reading too much into something."
"Well, Xander, I'm. flattered that you asked," She sat down beside him and put his hand on his shoulder. "It's just -."
"Yeah, I know the drill." He looked at her. "Nah, really, it's no big deal. I understand. It was stupid of me to ask anyways."
"I was going to say . the timing's just way wrong," said Buffy. "I mean. with Willow. I don't think it's the best time for us to be - changing anything."
"Okay."
"If you ask me again. later.. You never know what I might say."
Xander gave her a smile. "No. I guess I don't."
"So, you want to grab a bite or what? I'm starving." She got up and walked out of the room. "I actually intend to eat something before I wither away into a bag of bones."
Xander didn't say anything for a few moments, and just sat there on the edge of the bed.
"No." He repeated the words to himself softly. "I guess I don't."