Chapter 1
'What did just happen...?'
Some snowflakes started falling around them, landing quietly on the already white ground. There was an uncomfortable stillness in everything but the sky, forcing the two Guardians to feel even more embarrassed than they already were. The empty playground was overpowered by their silence and the trees that surrounded them encouraged their reasonable bashfulness.
'Did he really just kiss me?'
The Tenth boss of the Vongola Family had frozen with his right hand softly touching his lower lip while the Italian boy had riveted his gaze on the ground, wondering how the hell he could be so stupid as to misinterpret the situation. Somehow their heads had gotten really close to each other while discussing about Valentine's Day and chocolates (and how much Gokudera detested them) that the smoke bomber had mistakenly perceived this as the green light for him to make a move. How could he be so reckless?
"I-I'm sorry Jyuudaime!"
Finally after a while the Storm Guardian bowed his head and broke their uncomfortable silence.
"I... I shouldn't have done that, I'm terribly sorry!"
He repeated as he fell on his knees and started smacking his head on the icy ground; that unfortunately being a daily sight.
"D-don't do that Gokudera-kun!"
Despite Tsuna's bewilderment with the unexpected kiss he had received, there was no way he'd let his Guardian hurt himself.
"I'm really sorry Jyuudaime!"
Gokudera followed his boss's request (not wanting to upset him even more) and as he stood up he kept his gaze on the ground, unable to make eye contact with him.
"But w... Why would you do that Gokudera-kun?"
Tsuna asked, an indication of disappointment echoing in his voice.
"U-uh... For fun Jyuudaime...! It was a joke!"
The Italian boy rubbed his temple, hoping that his easily perceivable anxiety wasn't conspicuous; hoping that his secret thoughts and emotions weren't visible to the other...
'It wasn't a joke...'
The brunette thought silently, feeling an unexplainable heavy burden on his chest.
"I'm sure Jyuudaime will receive lots of chocolate tomorrow!"
Gokudera suddenly exclaimed, desiring to move on to another topic as soon as possible.
"A-ah, I doubt it Gokudera-kun..."
Tsuna murmured as his heart accelerated at the smoke bomber's loud voice; the second's desire of changing the subject being quite obvious.
"We should be heading back now Gokudera-kun."
The Sky Guardian uttered with a fake smile drawn on his face and the silver haired boy just nodded affirmatively in return, causing their small walk in the neighborhood -because their classes had finished sooner than expected- to come to an end.
While they started walking home, the brunette thought that he had never felt so confused and troubled before in his life. Not even the fact that he'd be the boss of a whole mafia family could cause him such bemusement. His first peck on the lips was just stolen in the easiest and simplest way by the person he'd least expect it... His male best friend, his right hand man... Was this for real?
Suddenly, as the two boys were heading towards Tsuna's house (since Gokudera had insisted that an enemy could show up in the brunette's way if he wasn't accompanied by any of his Guardians) a strong wind blew towards their side, forcing all the snowflakes to follow its course, resulting in one of them getting into the Sky Guardian's eye.
Tsuna's low moan of pain, along with his hands that started rubbing his eye were enough for Gokudera to rapidly place his body in front of the first, moving his back against the wind and facing straightforwardly the brunette.
"Jyuudaime are you okay?"
He asked worriedly as he softly touched Tsuna's cheeks, enclosing the gap from where more snowflakes could damage his boss's eyes.
"A-ah, it itches..."
Tsuna, who was more focused on his aching eye and hadn't clearly understood Gokudera's movement, suddenly gazed into the Storm Guardian's orbs, realizing how close their faces were again.
"W-what are you doing Gokudera-kun?"
He finally asked hesitantly and flushed as he felt the other's gloves on his cheeks.
"I'm protecting your eyes Jyuudaime! Wuaah, your left eye is weeping!"
The panic in Gokudera's eyes made Tsuna giggle.
"It's okay Gokudera-kun, how could you- ah!"
The Vongola boss moaned again and closed his eyelids tightly, sensing that a foreign substance had entered his eye.
"Shit! Jyuudaime are you okay? ?"
The smoke bomber repeated terrified but the other boy couldn't open his eyes anymore.
"S-something must have entered my eye..."
He spelled with difficulty and tried to remove it by rubbing it even more, unsuccessfully.
"A-ah, I think I know how to remove it Jyuudaime!"
"M-my eye? !"
Tsuna asked terrified.
"N-no, not your eye Jyuudaime!"
Gokudera widened his eyes at the other's misunderstanding.
"The debris! If you could just try to open your eye a bit, I will expel air into it and then you only have to rub it in a certain way and the debris will go away."
"I really doubt that this method works Gokudera-kun..."
The Sky Guardian responded with a sigh, not being so optimistic about it.
"We can try it Jyuudaime!"
The Italian boy said hopeful and since there was nothing else they could do at that moment, Tsuna agreed to it.
The brunette tried and with great difficulty managed to open his left eyelid just a bit, waiting for Gokudera to make his move. The smoke bomber took a deep breath and as he shortened the distance between their heads, holding firmly and gently his classmate's cheeks, he breathed out the air from his system, directing it into Tsuna's sore eye.
The brunette flinched at the annoying sensation in his eye and then closed it slowly as Gokudera requested him to do. Then the Storm Guardian softly rubbed in a circular manner the skin next to Tsuna's eye, forcing the debris to slide at the corner of it. Finally the Italian boy caressed with the back side of his finger his companion's eye, as to remove the foreign substance.
"How are you feeling now Jyuudaime?"
He asked almost in undertones. The brunette quietly opened his eye and shocked he realized that it didn't ache anymore.
"Hm, it's much better now... Thank you Gokudera-kun!"
Tsuna smiled to him and Gokudera stared into his orbs for a while, as if he was trying to spell something without the need of words and then hurriedly removed his hands from his face and bowed shyly.
"No need to thank me Jyuudaime! I'm glad you're feeling better."
With these words they continued their silent route towards the Sky Guardian's house.
... ... ...
"Ah, Tsu-kun you're home! Hello Gokudera-kun!"
"Mum?"
The brunette uttered confused as he saw his mother greeting him while exiting their house. Gokudera bowed with respect towards his boss's mother.
"I have to go and buy some things from the store but I won't be late. Does your friend want to stay here until I get back? The neighborhood has gotten so dangerous lately..."
Nana spelled her concern and before Tsuna was able to say 'Gokudera-kun was leaving now' the Storm Guardian hurriedly replied in his place.
"Of course! I will protect Jyuudaime at all costs!"
The woman cheerfully smiled at Gokudera's exclamation.
"Hm, then I have nothing to worry about! Be good kids, ne?"
She carefree said and then left towards her destination.
Even though the Vongola boss didn't want his classmate to leave, he was actually a bit bothered by the second's initiative to stay as there had been many times that Gokudera had hastily made the first step without letting the brunette interfere in decisions that should be made entirely by him. However his annoyance faded away when he saw the bright smile on the Italian boy's face the moment they entered his bedroom. The smoke bomber was always happy being with Tsuna even though their conversations didn't consist of anything crucial -or even battle related. The Sky Guardian softly smiled at this realization.
"What would you like to do Jyuudaime?"
Gokudera asked as if he could read Tsuna's mind.
"Hm, I don't know Gokudera-kun..."
The brunette sighed skeptical. The only homework they had were a few verbal theories that Tsuna had to memorize but he knew that it'd be a waste of time if he bothered Gokudera with that. Memorizing theories was something that he had to do on his own and his friend wouldn't be able to help him.
"G-Gokudera-kun, um..."
The Vongola boss spelled hesitantly as they both sat on the floor, next to each other.
"About earlier... the kiss..."
Tsuna's timid words and uncertain gaze seemed to have a great effect on the other as the smoke bomber riveted his orbs away from his classmate's stare.
"It was just a joke Jyuudaime...!"
Gokudera faked a smile and tried to think of any other subject to talk about.
"But it wasn't Gokudera-kun! You... Why would you do this?"
The brunette's doubtful voice had increased in confidence and his stare was much stronger than he intended it to be.
'Because your existence means more to me than you could ever comprehend...'
"It was... It was just an action out of respect Jyuudaime."
The higher Tsuna's tone was, the lower Gokudera's voice became as if they were unconsciously trying to balance things out.
"An action out of respect?"
The Sky Guardian asked confused.
"A-ah Jyuudaime. An action out of respect!"
The beam on the Italian boy's face appeared anything but truthful to the young brunette.
"I see..."
Tsuna's disconcerted expression forced an awful burden on his Guardian's heart.
"I... I'm really sorry if you got disgusted by it Jyuudaime!"
Gokudera lowered his head embarrassed and regretful and the other student softly spelled a response, as if he was afraid of breaking the letters.
"I... I didn't get disgusted by it Gokudera-kun..."
'...In fact the opposite...'
The smoke bomber's eyes were instantly fixed on his boss's fragile gaze.
"I just... want you to be honest."
The brunette continued, making the reason of his annoyance obvious since all he wanted to hear was the truth.
A moment of silence passed by, both boys being completely still, engulfed in their own worries and apprehensions. Gokudera was pondering of whether his mischievous feelings should ever be voiced out loud while Tsuna was staring on the floor anxious, wondering if he had actually pressured his friend beyond his limits, hence he was unable to react to his request of being honest.
"It's an emotion Jyuudaime."
The Storm Guardian's unexpected words startled the brunette.
"Eh?"
He asked perplexed and as he raised his head both of them made eye contact.
"I said that it's an emotion. U-um... The kiss..."
Tsuna continued staring at the other baffled while listening to him, making Gokudera have contradicting emotions, wondering whether his boss's reaction was good or bad.
"What's the name of this emotion Gokudera-kun?"
'I'm so selfish...'
The Sky Guardian had realized everything he needed to know, yet...
...The Vongola boss really wanted to hear it... These words that seemed to be forbidden at times, these words that could change someone's entire life... Tsuna had never examined the emotions between him and his right hand man as the second had always been by his side, whether they were fighting in life-or-death battles or even in his everyday life, while he was waiting for the boring lessons to end. He had never considered Gokudera's loyalty and passion to mean anything more than that.
"A... amore..."
The smoke bomber finally pronounced hesitantly.
"Amore?"
The brunette gazed at him perplexed.
"What does it mean Gokudera-kun?"
He continued.
"L... Love..."
The Italian boy whispered as he riveted his gaze away from his boss, his face colored bright red.
'He said it...'
The Sky Guardian thought in a daze and a soft smile was unconsciously drawn on his lips.
"I'm sorry..."
Gokudera lifelessly said without looking at him, causing Tsuna's smile to fade away.
"These feelings... I shouldn't - ... I'm sorry Jyuudaime..."
"Don't apologize Gokudera-kun."
'It's me who should be apologizing... I should have realized your feelings towards me.'
The brunette guiltily deemed and softly placed his right hand upon the other's with great diffidence.
"I-it's okay..."
The Vongola boss's trembling voice was accompanied by the vivid red color on his cheeks.
"I don't mind..."
He almost whispered while looking away, wondering if this was really a proper reaction towards someone who had just confessed to him.
"J... Jyuudaime..."
However, Gokudera didn't seem satisfied with Tsuna's movement and gently pulled his own hand away.
"I know how kind you are, but you shouldn't pretend in front of me... I can understand if you're feeling disgusted by it, it's completely normal."
The smoke bomber wore a painful smile on his face but Tsuna could feel his inner suffering as if this torture was meant for him instead of his loyal Guardian.
"No Gokudera-kun! I'm being honest with you, I didn't get disg-"
"It's okay Jyuudaime...! I can understand if you want to punish me!"
The Italian boy bowed his head in front of his friend.
"P-punish you? ! There's no way I'd do something like that Gokudera-kun! You are my frie-"
"It's normal if you want to Jyuudaime! What I did is disgusting after all... Do as you wish with me Jyuudaime!"
All of a sudden the brunette, whose rage had been accumulated due to Gokudera's absurd behavior, extended his hands behind the second's head and as he pulled the Storm Guardian towards his side, he sloppily gave a quick peck on the edge of his lips. Tsuna then immediately pulled his hands back and grabbed a random book from the school bag that lied next to him, not really minding whose bag it was or which book he was holding, just as long as he didn't have to face what he had just done. Gokudera who had received a great shock from his boss's unexpected action, was standing still and dazed, staring at the brunette's face bewildered.
"J... Jyuudaime..."
The smoke bomber spelled timidly but Tsuna wasn't willing to respond. In fact, he seemed rather focused on reading the random page on which he had opened the book; his orbs slowly moving back and forth.
"A-ah!"
A loud shout escaped the Storm Guardian's lips as he noticed which of his books his friend was holding. Japanese History... The one lesson that allowed him to freely write down whatever he felt at that moment since the teacher never paid any attention to what the students were doing or how their books' physical condition was.
"J-Jyuudaime!"
The silver haired boy moved rapidly and grasped the book from his boss's hands, leaving the latter utterly surprised and somewhat apprehensive.
"You... you shouldn't read what's written in this book Jyuudaime..."
Gokudera said softly as he realized that he had scared the fragile brunette and closed immediately the book.
"G-Gokudera-kun..."
Tsuna mumbled abashed and stared into the older student's eyes as if they were both surrounded by gloom.
The Storm Guardian felt truly regretful for not realizing what book Tsuna was holding in his hands from the beginning. There were so many things he had written in those pages... Emotions and thoughts no one else knew about.
Gokudera's heart skipped a few beats while thinking of what the Vongola boss had read that had stunned him in such a degree as to make him stay speechless for so long.
'Could it be something about my father...?'
He wondered distressed as his most violent nature was emerging every time his father violated his thoughts... As if his letters turned into poison, he was filling the book's pages with merciless and deviant words.
'...or is it something about him?'
One question after another, Gokudera could no longer choose what could be worst.
The young bomber abruptly remembered the devastation that had overpowered his mind when he had learned about his boss's death in the future. His whole life had ended right before his eyes; everything he believed in seemed meaningless for a few seconds until he realized that he could still change the future... They could still change it. Yet this intense depression didn't leave his side until they returned to the past and he finally managed to write down all his thoughts and sentiments about it. Sometimes writing was the only way he could forget and ease his pain.
"I'm sorry Gokudera-kun..."
Tsuna's sudden statement startled the troubled boy.
"For what Jyuudaime? Did you read anything weird?"
Gokudera asked agitated.
"I'm sorry..."
The brunette whispered, abruptly wrapped his arms around his Guardian's waist and rapidly buried his head in the latter's chest.
"J-Jyud...!"
"I'm sorry for not knowing Gokudera-kun...! I'm sorry for not... not realizing..."
'Shit, he must have read something horrible...!'
The Italian boy couldn't help but panic as tears started running down his boss's face. He couldn't precisely understand what exactly the latter had read but whatever it was, it shouldn't cause so much pain to him...
"I-it's okay J-Jyuudaime! D... Don't take the things written in the book seriously...!"
The Storm Guardian stuttered, his own statement hurting his chest and softly placed his hands around the other's body.
"D-don't cry..."
Gokudera was trying his best to soothe his precious friend's mind but Tsuna wasn't able to stop his struggle.
"Please Jyuudaime..."
The smoke bomber's voice smoothed even more and as if he was trying to stop a baby from crying, he bent over and softly kissed the Vongola boss's temple.
"G... Gokudera-kun..."
The brunette managed to utter while sobbing and his grip around the Italian boy's waist got even tighter.
"It's okay Jyuudaime... Just... don't cry pleas.. e..."
Gokudera strived to finish his sentence and the Sky Guardian could hear him softly weeping.
'Shit fuck shit fuck...!'
The young bomber was cursing his luck and wiped his tears on his sleeve, without letting go of his precious friend.
"G-Gokudera-kun...?"
Tsuna asked confused as he raised his head from the other's chest and timidly pulled his hands away from Gokudera's body. The Vongola boss exerted himself to stop crying and as the Storm Guardian pulled his hands back as well, they were finally both shyly gazing in each other's teary eyes.
"I-I'm sorry Jyuudaime!"
Gokudera yelled as he lowered his head.
"I didn't want to sadden y-"
"I am the one who's sorry Gokudera-kun!"
Tsuna interrupted the smoke bomber.
"I... I should have realized some things earlier..."
'I was blind for so long...'
The brunette riveted his gaze on the ground as he brought the text he had read along with Gokudera's kiss to mind.
"I should have known about your feelings...!"
His voice came out louder than he wanted it to and with a flush colored on his cheeks, Tsuna stared deep into his friend's emerald eyes.
"I'm sorry Gokudera-kun..."
He repeated like a broken record and the Italian boy couldn't help but feel remorseful for making his boss feel that way.
"N-no Jyuudaime... It's not your fault..."
Gokudera almost whispered his final words, being a bit distrustful at his own talking.
"I... I just didn't want you to know Jyuudaime..."
A fake smile was drawn on his face, trying to persuade his classmate that he was being sincere... Trying to convince himself that he was telling the truth.
"You're lying Gokudera-kun..."
Tsuna's sentence came out with no hesitation, his Vongola instinct finally coming to the surface.
"I've been a horrible friend..."
"Don't say that Jyuudaime!"
Gokudera shouted in response to his boss's painful murmur. He could neither accept these words nor let the brunette be overwhelmed by this unreasonable defeat.
"I... I never let you see through me Jyuudaime... So it's normal for you to not kn-"
"Don't try to justify this...! P.. Please Gokudera-kun... Even though I had heard about your past from Reborn... I... I never thought... I couldn't even estimate...! All this pain... All this sadness..."
A sudden burden was added on the Italian boy's chest. What had Tsuna really read in his book...? If it wasn't something about his love towards him... If it wasn't something about the days they have spent together... If it wasn't even about his own father... Could it be - ...?
"Jyuudaime... What- uh... What exactly did you read...?"
The smoke bomber asked uncertain, afraid of what the answer may be.
"A... About your mum Gokudera-kun..."
A few seconds of silence passed by while the silver haired student was struggling to quell all these forceful emotions that were trying to overpower him and the brunette was striving to hold in the tears that started reforming in his eyes.
"Aaah... That was it? You shouldn't worry Jyuudaime! I wasn't serious when writing these things, it was just nonsense for the time to pass...!"
The Storm Guardian said with a wide smile drawn on his lips and his last words were uttered with his eyelids closed, not wanting to let his boss gaze at his watery eyes.
"It's okay Gokudera-kun... You don't have to lie..."
The Vongola boss murmured gently, sensing that his friend was about to burst into tears.
"What are you talking about Jyuudaime? I wouldn't lie to you...! A-ah -..."
Two tears violently escaped Gokudera's eyes, making the smoke bomber stand up rapidly and start heading towards the exit of the room...
"I-I'm sorry Jyuudaime, I'll need to use the restr- ..."
"W-wait Gokudera-kun...!"
...only to be stopped by his boss.
"Let me through Jyuudaime!"
The Italian boy swiftly voiced his request, with his one hand rubbing both of his eyes and trying to pass through Tsuna, who was now standing in front of his room's door, not letting him escape the situation.
"I'm your friend Gokudera-kun! You don't need to endure all this pain on your own...!"
Tsuna's voice had transformed to sweet poison for the other.
"P-please Jyuudaime, let me through!"
Gokudera couldn't help his stuttering and no matter how hard he was pushing the other, for some reason the Sky Guardian seemed to surpass his strength, rendering the first unable from leaving. The smoke bomber knew that his treatment towards his boss was too rough but his pride was so strong that he just couldn't let the young brunette see him having a breakdown.
"No Gokudera-kun...! I want to help you!"
Tsuna, who was unconsciously wondering how he was able to exceed his Guardian's strength, had mightily decided that he wasn't going to let the latter suffer on his own ever again.
"Please Jyuudaime, if you don't move I won't be able to - ..."
"You can cry here if you want to Gokudera-kun...! I will nev-"
Tsuna wasn't able to complete his sentence as Gokudera's lips were suddenly placed on his own...
The smoke bomber wasn't able to resist anymore and lustfully succumbed to the only source of comfort he could find at that moment... The Italian boy could sense the fallacy of his actions in every inch of his body, yet he really couldn't help himself. For the second time in a row he was acting recklessly, based merely on his feelings... Based on his last hope for rescue.
The Sky Guardian had widened his eyes in shock as Gokudera wrapped tightly his hands around his waist. The few inches of gap that was found in between Tsuna's lips were easily taken advantage of by the older boy's tongue that smoothly slipped in the other's mouth.
'I must resist...'
No matter the words that were repeated in Gokudera's mind, letting go of his boss seemed impossible. As if someone had glued their faces together, the more Tsuna was stepping back, the more Gokudera was moving forward.
All of a sudden a thump was heard and the brunette's back had become the corridor wall's surface. Tsuna, who was sloppily moving his tongue as to make the other take his away, was now pinned on the wall, unable to protest; all of his strength was gone in a flash.
Eventually, after a couple more torturing seconds for Tsuna, Gokudera backed down a bit in order to breathe and the Sky Guardian took his chance and escaped the Italian boy's suffocating embrace.
"Fuck...!"
The smoke bomber yelled outraged, realizing that he had just forced himself on his boss and as he turned his gaze towards the latter, he bowed once again.
"I-I'm terribly sorry J-Jyuudaime! !"
He shouted and a painful sob escaped from his lips.
"I'm really sorry! I need to - ..."
Before he had even finished his sentence, the Storm Guardian grabbed his bag from Tsuna's room and ran like a chased person towards the house's exit.
"Tsu-kun, I'm bac- Ah, Gokudera-k -"
"I'm sorry, I'll be leaving now!"
Tsuna's mother came just in time and thankfully for the proud bomber, she hadn't managed to watch his tears.
"Tsu-kun...?"
Nana repeated surprised as she saw her son descending the stairs confounded; Gokudera having long left his house.
"Mum, you returned..."
He pushed a smile on his lips.
"What happened? Did you and Gokudera-kun get into a fight?"
Tsuna wondered whether being honest to her was an option.
"H-hm... But it will be okay..."
Another fake smile accompanied his doubtful words.
'Everything is going to be okay... Right?'
He joylessly reckoned and lifelessly returned to his room.
A/N: There will be only one more chapter. I wanted this to be a one shot but it turned out bigger than expected. Pure fluffy 5927 love; it's been ages since I last wrote a story like that...