Title: Lonely In Space--Will's Perspective I
Author: Feygan
Fandom: Lost In Space
Pairings: John/Maureen, Don/Judy
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost in Space and am just borrowing them for this story.
In canon, Will Robinson is 10 years old, but here ten years have passed since the Robinson family went into space and got, well, lost.
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He was completely miserable. He had never thought that his life was going to be like this. If he could have safely gone back in time and changed things, he would have.
When he was ten years old and they left on this mission, all he had known was that it was going to be the greatest adventure anyone could ever have. Now at twenty, still a virgin and desperate for contact with some humans that weren't related to him, he could only wish that he could go back and relive his life differently.
There were so many things he had never done and probably never would be able to do. And the one thing he was desperate for was something he could never try with anyone in his family and didn't want to, because that was gross. There was no way he was ever having sex with a member of his family.
But at least he had the knowledge that even though he was a twenty year old virgin, Penny was a twenty-five year old virgin. It was about the only positive thing he could find to bring up his mood, but it really wasn't much.
Curled up on his bunk, he hugged his arms tight around his chest. There was a throbbing pressure in his groin, but he refused to give in to it. What was the purpose? Five seconds of pleasure, then he'd be back where he started, unpartnered and alone. His hand just wasn't enough, not anymore.
Tears burned his eyes as he pressed his lids tight closed. His throat was dry while his tongue was flooded with liquid. His whole body felt like one large ache, though he knew he was almost grotesquely healthy. Judy was obsessive about them all being in the best shape possible.
Twisting his body so he was lying on his stomach, his arms trapped under him, he pressed his groin against the firm surface of his mattress. Arching his back a little, he put more pressure on his erection, not-quite humping the mattress. He just wanted to relieve a little of the tension.
Dammit, how did I ever think that this was an exciting adventure? What the fuck was I on? he thought.
Ever since he hit puberty he'd been battling an almost uncontrollable anger. Sexual frustration was eating him up inside and there was no real way to relieve it, because masturbation only stopped the burn for a little while. And not even masturbation could make up for the personal loneliness of not having anyone of his own to love.
He and Penny both wallowed in their separate miseries, neither one saying a word, but both knowing that they were jealous of things they didn't have. Their father and mother, and Judy and Don… two loving couples that talked and had sex with a sickening regularity, while Will and Penny were left on the outside looking in, unpartnered and alone.
To spend so much time with the same people and yet to never be able to say what you feel. Like his parents or his sister and her husband would really care that he was desperately alone. And even though she didn't have a mate to provide sexual satisfaction, Penny at least had Blarp to keep her company. Will didn't even have a single living friend… just family. It really wasn't fair.
Cursing his body and the way it couldn't help wanting, he flipped over onto his back, giving in to his needs. He bent his knees, pressing his feet flat against the bed, his toes wriggling. Running his right hand over his tee shirt covered belly, he quickly untied the ties at the front of his pants, then slipped his hand under the soft cloth, stroking his erection.
Pulling his cock lightly at first, he tightened his grip after a few strokes, gripping himself with brutal strength. Gritting his teeth tight to keep from moaning too loudly, he tossed his head back and forth on his pillow, stretching his neck out, liking the way the skin pulled tight over his throat. Breath puffed from his nostrils, making a slight whistling sound in his ears.
Bringing his left hand to his mouth, he unclenched his teeth enough to suck the first three fingers, getting them as wet as he could manage. Once they were wet, he brought his hand down, slipping it into his pants to press his forefinger against the puckered opening of his anus.
Little whimpering noises escaped his throat as he pressed until his finger passed through the gripping ring of muscle. With almost painful quickness, barely letting his body become used to the intrusion, he added his other two fingers, thrusting in and out, unconsciously matching the movement with his hips, not caring that his left wrist rubbed against his inner thigh with each movement. At the same time, he pulled on his cock at a fast rhythm, letting his body tell him how much it could take.
Wallowing in sensation, he couldn't help the images that popped up behind his closed eyelids. The things he fantasized about while he masturbated were part of the reason why it didn't bring him as much comfort as it probably could. The guilt he went through after he came was far beyond the small pleasure he got. It just wasn't worth it most of the time, which is why he held off masturbating until it was unavoidable and his body ached with the need for release.
With no other people around, there were very few influences to base his life on. Which meant it wasn't very much of a surprise that when he masturbated, the fantasies that passed through his mind most often originated from his real life. The only relief he had was the knowledge that at least he hadn't become so depraved as to fantasize about members of his own blood family. It was bad enough that his body persisted in feeding him naked imagery of Don and Dr. Smith doing stuff--alone, together, and sometimes with him.
Naked undulating Don with his rippling, sweat-sheened muscles, his head thrown back as he rocked his hips against a moaning, willing ass. Smith on his elbows and knees, his chin digging into his crossed arms as he cried out passionately.
Will didn't completely understand the mechanics of gay sex, but he had a good idea what happened, and at least his fantasies gave him a delicious thrill.
It didn't take much effort to change his fantasy, to push Smith into observer status and put himself on his knees with Don's thick cock inside him. He liked the thought of Smith watching him have sex with Don, it was almost as hot as imagining Don give him a hard ass-fucking
Rubbing against his prostate gland, Will trembled with pleasure, imagining that it was Don thrusting into him and not his own fingers. Matching the thrust of his fingers, he clamped his hand tighter on his erection and pulled, rolling his thumb over the cockhead. He groaned, feeling his balls draw tighter and tighter before he finally came.
His right hand was covered in come and the inside of his underwear was just as sticky wet. His muscles still vibrated with the echo of his pleasure. He slipped his fingers out of his ass and pulled his hands out of his pants, carefully not touching anything else.
Will sat up in bed and reached for the damp towel he had left on the bedside table. He wiped off his hands, cleaning them as well as he could before climbing to his feet. He needed to clean off the rest of his body before he went to sleep; waking up covered in dried semen and sweat residue was not something he wanted to do, especially with Penny likely to barge her way into his quarters without knocking first. She had never quite learned the lesson of privacy, though she did complain when he violated hers, so basically she just didn't recognize anybody else's right to have any.
He hurried to the fresher, stripping off his clothes as he went. Naked, he stepped into the small cubicle, hitting the ACTIVATE button. Warm water shot out of hundreds of high-pressure tubes to blast his body clean. It was almost, but not quite painful, the safety monitor keeping the pressure light enough that it didn't peel the flesh from his bones. It was just a full-body tingle that left his body and hair perfectly clean. It only took about thirty seconds, then warm air blasted over him, drying him off.
Sighing, when the door slid open he stepped out of the fresher, his toes curling as they touched the floor. Masturbating had relieved the powerful pressure that had built up in his groin, but now he was feeling the prickle of guilt that always hit him afterward.
He shouldn't think about Don like that. Don was Judy's husband, which made him completely off limits to Will and Penny both, not matter how lonely they were. It was just that he couldn't help himself. Whenever he masturbated, Will's mind insisted on feeding him images of Don naked and ready for him.
The images of Smith were exceedingly disturbing, but at least they didn't involve him imagining his sister's husband doing wildly exciting things to his body, so he could kind of pretend that it was all right. Even though Smith was kind of nasty personality wise, oozing with oily smarm. Definitely not someone that Will wanted to admit an attraction for.
Rolling his head on his shoulders to make his neck pop, he padded over to his dresser to find a clean pair of sleep clothes.
Changing quickly, he climbed back into bed, pulling the sheets and blanket back up over him. He hugged his knees to his chest and closed his eyes, forcing his mind to stop thinking and rest. He was tired. He didn't want to have to deal with the aftereffects of another sexual fantasy.
It just wasn't fair. He was twenty years old. Why hadn't anyone thought about the fact that he might become sexually mature after reaching Alpha Prime and included at least a couple of sexual partners aboard the Jupiter I for him and Penny to grow up with? Sure, they were supposed to be traveling in suspended animation, but when they reached Alpha Prime where the research colony was waiting, it was still going to take them awhile to assemble the gate, so he and Penny were going to be the youngest ones there. It just wasn't fair.
He knew that Command hadn't exactly planned for Dr. Smith to sabotage the mission, but he had to have someone to focus his anger on. He couldn't blame his family for the irreparable damage done to the cryo-stasis tubes, because it was done by the robot--his friend--and Judy had almost died. It would be like rubbing salt in old wounds, so he just had to let it go, no matter how angry it made him.
He just wanted someone to blame for the way his body kept wanting things he couldn't give it. He was angry that there was no one onboard for him to love. He was angry that his father had taken the fate of the world and put it on his own and his family's shoulders. He was angry at Don for being so handsome. He was angry at Smith for being such an unmitigated ass. He was angry at Judy for having Don. He was angry at Penny for being as lonely and miserable as him. He was angry at his parents for being so desperately in love. And he was most angry at himself for being gay and twenty and trapped aboard a ship with only his family for company.
His body burned for contact, and all he could do was worship at the altar of his own hand. It just wasn't fair.
With an angry growl, he buried his face in his pillow and forced himself to go to sleep. He didn't want to think anymore. He wanted to sleep away his troubles and wake up either completely asexual, his passions burned out of him, or in a place and time where he could go out and find another human being to fuck and be fucked by. He was tired of being alone.
Ten minutes later, he finally dozed off, only to dream of naked Don.
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END Will's Perspective I
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Title: Lonely In Space--Penny's Perspective I
Author: Feygan
Fandom: Lost In Space
Pairings: John/Maureen, Don/Judy
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost in Space and am just borrowing them for this story.
In canon, Will Robinson is 10 years old and Penny Robinson is 15, but here ten years have passed since the Robinson family went into space and got, well, lost.
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She hated her name. Whenever she really thought about it, which wasn't really very often, she realized that she hated the name Penelope "Penny" Robinson. It was just so old-fashioned, completely pre-tech. It was like her parents had cursed her with a painfully conventional name dredged up from an age better left forgotten.
Her name was an anachronism, completely at odds with her studied obsession with technology. The name "Penny" just completely clashed with her technocentric ideals, somehow turning everything she stood for into a lie.
Sometimes she hated her parents for the name they stuck her with. Still resentful of how they had dragged her away from her life on Earth, the name just tilted the scales over into full-blown hatred.
Thankfully though, her feelings of familial dislike came in short, easy to manage bursts. They passed quick enough that she could pretend everything was all right. Her family never had to know how much she resented them all, hated them all, wanted to hurt them all. They never had to know what was in her head, she could keep that private from them. Even if nothing else was ever private on a ship cramped with seven people, Blarp and a robot, not to mention the galaxy-sized egos of John, Don and Smith.
The worst thing about growing up in a spaceship with only her family for company was the way they all fell into a way of thinking about her. To them, she was always going to be fifteen year old Penny Robinson, the girl that regretfully left Earth and happiness behind. They just couldn't seem to equate the passage of ten years with her becoming more mature. She was still a little girl to them, and it pissed her off.
She was twenty-five years old, and none of them seemed to realize that fact. They still treated her like a spoiled child.
Her parents never seemed to understand the fact that maybe she had a reason to be so resentful. They didn't understand that as an adolescent she had needed the socializing influence of people her own age. They didn't understand that growing up in space with only her family for company meant that everyone back on Earth had aged ten years too, and she had missed all the time with them.
At least she had Will. He had been as cheated by their parents as she was, maybe even more so because he had never really had a close friend, had never had even the little bit of a life that she'd had.
They would hold long private conversations in her cabin, talking about this and that and everything in between. Those talks were what kept her from going on a rampage and killing everyone. She didn't know what would have happened if Will hadn't been there for her.
She really felt sorry for him, but she couldn't even help herself, much less him. Still, it was kind of sad for him. He was twenty years old and obviously sexually confused, and there was nothing he could do about it, not here on this ship with his family so close around him.
He had never come right out and said that he was gay, but it was kind of obvious to anyone that really knew him. So it was kind of lucky that no one else in the family knew him at all, lucky and sad.
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END PENNY'S PERSPECTIVE I
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