"This is nice." Lincoln leaned against the porch railing next to his brother, watching Mike and Heather's son, Dylan, chase the soccer ball around the yard. He took a swig of his beer, and held out a second to Michael.
Michael smiled, accepting the proffered bottle. "Yeah." His smile widened when the sound laughter drifted from the kitchen, where Sara, Sheba, and Heather were gathered. "Never thought I would get this back."
Lincoln cleared his throat as the question he had been avoiding since Michael's return was pushed to the front of his mind once more.
Mike was now dribbling the ball, Dylan running to get ahead of him.
"Hey, man," Lincoln began, deciding all at once not to put it off any longer. He studied the grain of the boards beneath his feet for a moment before meeting Michael's gaze. "Do you ever regret it? Knowing what you know now." His voice was gruff and casual, but in his eyes there was a silent plea for honesty. He needed to know, despite his fear of the answer.
He owed Michael his life.
But what Michael had done for Lincoln had cost him years of his own life; years that should have been spent with Sara and his son.
Michael was silent, keen eyes studying Lincoln's face.
"No one would blame you," Lincoln added. "I wouldn't."
Michael nodded. "I thought about it," he answered eventually. Lincoln could see the shame in his eyes as he spoke. "Three times. Once in Turkey, once in Africa, and once in Yemen." He turned to look towards the kitchen's open window, his eyes falling on Sara and lingering for a moment before he continued. "I allowed myself to weigh the deed against the consequences, retrace my steps, sort through the variables. Rework the problem." He smiled bitterly. "There are definitely some things I wish I could take back, do differently."
Lincoln ran a hand over his scalp and nodded. His statement from years before ran through his mind.
I don't know if I'm worth all this.
"But I always got the same results," Michael went on. "Ultimately, all the ways I played it back in my head ended with me someway, somehow getting myself tossed into Fox River. Knowing what I know now, that's one thing I wouldn't take back." He took a deep breath and met Lincoln's gaze earnestly. "I have many, many regrets. But saving your life is not one of them."
A fresh wash of guilt flooded Lincoln's gut at Michael's words. "Look what I did with it. You gave me a second chance. I threw it away, went right back to my old habits." He chucked his now-empty bottle into the nearby garbage can with just a little too much force. "Almost ruined my life all over again."
"But you didn't," Michael reassured him. "And Linc...I wanna thank you. Sara's told me how you were there for her after - while I was gone. She said she wouldn't have made it without you."
Lincoln snorted. "We both know that's not true. Girl's tough. I haven't seen a lady that strong since V. She would have been okay."
Michael smiled at the sentiment, nodding in agreement. "Maybe. But still, I'm grateful." Sara was strong. The strongest person he knew. But she wasn't invincible. "She needed someone, and you were there when I couldn't be. Thank you."
Michael offered his hand, and Lincoln looked at it a moment before he shook it. Michael's grip was firm, and when Lincoln looked at his face, the look in his eyes washed any remaining doubts from his mind.
He had made mistakes, but Michael's eyes told him something he hadn't believed in years: he was forgiven, wanted, and worth something. And while he wasn't sure he would ever fully get rid of the guilt in his head, it was enough for now.