An unexpected crash on the way to the Avengers training retreat leaves the team stranded, and with the help of psychotropic berries, end up sharing secrets. Based on the puppet episode of Community.
Mostly Stony but with some brusexnatasha and clintxcoulson thrown in. #thor is just going with it
Enjoy :)
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"Sir there has been an incident with the Avengers jet" The Jr. Agent announced from the door of Coulson's office.
Barely resisting the urge to sigh, Coulson called for a jet and set off to find the pack of overgrown children the world calls The Avengers.
After an hour and a half of tracking Phil landed on the beach of a small island where he had spotted the wreckage of the downed plane. He set down near the crash site and walked over the plane cursing under his breath when he steps on animal droppings.
When he boarded the wrecked plane and found all of the Avenges asleep he woke them in the loudest and most obnoxious way possible, then herded them into the briefing room of his jet while he went to get them off the ground and setup autopilot.
Returning, he opened the door of the debriefing room and was met with starling silence, even Stark was quiet, which was definitely not a good sign.
Phil stood behind the empty chair besides Stark and looked around the large rectangular table.
Cap was sitting perpendicular to Stark's position staring holes into his hands that sat in tight fists on the table. To his right Thor who was gazing off into the distance at nothing particular. Bruce and Natasha sat across from Stark looking everywhere but at their teammates. Lastly Clint sat with his knees pulled to his chest and a blank look on his face.
Coulson sighed, "what did Stark do?" He asked looking around the room.
"Fuck you, I didn't do shit" Tony snapped defensively.
"Fine then, what did Clint do?"
"We already did this bit" Clint mumbled.
"'This bit' what the hell does that mean?" Phil demanded but only received blank stares and averted eyes.
"If you don't tell me then I'll get Fury to do the debriefing when we get back to SHIELD."
"NO!" Everyone exclaimed simultaneously jumping out of their seats, then looked at each other before the room fell back into silence once again as they sat slowly.
Thor started to speak, "it all started two weeks ago when I and my SHIELD brethren-"
"Oh for fucks sake" Tony interrupted, "this morning we left the air strip to go on this stupid training thing when...
~~~~~~
"What the hell is happening?" Clint yelled from behind the wheel of the jet as it started to shake.
But before anyone could answer the plane took a nose dive.
They managed to land without injuries but there was no way the plane would be getting back up.
"What did you do Stark?" Natasha growled.
Everyone turned to look at Tony, "fuck you guys, I didn't do shit!"
"Fine then, Clint, what did you do?" she asked dryly-
~~~~~
"See? That's what I meant by 'we already did this bit'"
"Yeah, I got that" Phil rolled his eyes.
"Shut up so I can finish the god damn story! Good, now where was I... Oh yeah so then-"
"I wish to narrate this leg of our tale!" Thor interrupted.
"You just actually said the words 'leg of our tale' I'm not letting you tel-"
"Tony. Just let him tell this part please" Steve pleaded.
And as everyone had started to expect, Tony did as Steve asked with only minimal grumbling.
"Wonderful! It was at this point in our journey that I suggested we...
~~~~~~
"…should go in search of help"
"That's a great idea Thor we should try to find out where we are, maybe people live here and we can make a call for help"
"Well I got no signal but I agree with Steve" Tony said, which received a chorus of mumbled phrases including 'big surprise', "you never know what we might find" Tony continued ignoring everyone to smile at Steve who just looked at the others with confusion. Tony's crush on Steve has grown to epic proportions making everyone with eyes or ears aware of it, everyone except Steve.
"Wonderful! Let us set forth"
"Ooo we should form two groups: the survivors and the others. Where's the manifest?" Clint exclaimed excitedly.
"This isn't Lost Clint" Natasha said punching him on the arm.
"Way to ruin my fun" Clint muttered rubbing the slowly bruising spot.
Minutes of searching later Thor popped out from behind a bush using his cape as a make-shift bowl while shoveling handfuls of gathered berries into his mouth.
"You must try these Steven, they are delicious!" Thor finished by force feeding Steve a huge fistful of berries.
Steve swallowed reflexively to keep from choking but went into a long coughing fit. When he finally regained composure he noticed all of the other Avengers had purple stained fingers.
"Did you guys seriously just eat the strange berries Thor found in the forest?" Steve asked in disbelief.
"Calm down boy scout, Bruce said they aren't poisono…" Tony trailed off as his vision started to swirl and fill with bright colours.
"Seriously, you took psychotropic berries? That's why you guys are acting weird?" Phil questioned pinching the bridge of his nose. 'Overgrown children' was staring to look like way too kind a term of this team.
"No, that was unfortunately just the beginning" Steve said picking up the story, "we somehow ended up around a large fire…"
"You have such pretty hair" Natasha cooed carding her fingers through Thor's golden locks.
They were all piled together seeking each other's touch and heat.
"I wouve you guys soooo much" Steve slurred rubbing his hands over Bruce's face, "I feel like I can trust you guys ya know? So 'm jus gonna tell you, I think I might be gay."
"WHAT?!" everyone interrupted, eyebrows making a run for their hair lines.
Steve looked confused, "what do you mean 'what'? I told you guys my secret and that's why none of you would look at me." He tapered off into a whisper looking down at the table.
"Steve, I don't remember you telling us anything." Tony spoke up from beside him.
"Yeah I don't either" Clint confirmed, the others also hummed agreement.
"Wait, so why have you guys been acting so weird?" Steve asked suddenly very confused.
"Well I thought you guys knew my secret" Bruce answered.
"Wait so let me get this straight, we all told secrets and none of us remember what we heard?" Clint received unanimous nods, "Fuck yes! That's awesome. Now we're off the hook! Thor lets go play some Mario Cart!"
Everyone stood to leave but Tony, noticing Steve's heart breaking expression, yelled for them to stop.
"Guy sit back down" Tony demanded, but softened his tone when he was met with challengingly raised brows, "Look I know a minute ago we all felt terrible because we thought everyone knew our secrets, but at least we felt bad as a team. Now Steve is the only one feeling like shit. We have to retell our secrets and even the field."
All of them looked at Steve's watery blue eyes, then at each other, before finally walking back to the take their seats, "Bruce and I are sleeping together." Natasha's confession was met with theatrical gasps.
"Yeah, that's what I confessed too" Bruce said with a shrug sitting beside her.
"WHAT!?" Clint exclaimed, "since when!?"
"There will be no follow up questions" Natasha said glaring everyone into silence.
"I'm happy for you guys" Steve said and received a soft smile from the couple.
"Coulson and I are seeing each other too" Clint blurted out.
"No you're not" Tony scoffed.
"We are actually. If I hear one word about it there will consequences" Phil threatened.
A collective shutter ran through the group.
"Sooo" Tony said turning his focus on Thor, "fess up buddy, what did you share?"
"I did not make a confession"
"What? Then why were you acting all weird?" Bruce asked.
"I merely noted your behaviours and mirrored it, I just assumed your actions were normal."
They all burst out laughing, tears coming to their eyes.
"Thor, buddy, you're seriously the best" Tony complimented wiping his eye.
"Oh, hey, Tony you didn't tell us your secret" Steve noted.
"Yeah Stark tell us, did you knock someone up? I can see you as the secret-child-having kind of guy" Clint joked.
Tony childishly stuck his tongue out at him, "no nothing that exciting... I…uh…Remember that business trip I took to Japan like three weeks ago? Well it wasn't a business trip. I was actually in rehab for two weeks to deal with my alcohol…thing." he said waving his hand dismissively.
"That's such bull, I've seen you drink plenty of times since then" Natasha accused.
"I'm not a quitter, I just…eased up. Every time I'd get drunk Steve would get that stupid kicked puppy look I hate so I got some help" He looked away to avoid what he assumed would be pitying looks.
Tony felt a hand on his shoulder he knew belonged to Steve, "you could have come to me- any of us for help" he said softly.
Tony huffed a humorless laugh, "yeah right, and add another reason for you not to like me. Look we all confessed, story's over, so I'm just gonna go." He said bitterly rushing quickly through the door. This is exactly why he avoided emotional confessions, they always leave him with an empty feeling in his chest and burning desire to drink.
Steve chased after him and stopped Tony shortly down the hall, "what did you mean 'not like you'? God Tony how could you think I don't like you."
"Oh I don't know, how about you never making eye contact with me? Or the fact that every time I get close to you you just find a reason to leave? Actually once you didn't even give a reason you just ran away! What was I supposed to think?"
"That I'm an idiot! I'm stupid when it comes to this" he said motioning between them, "God Tony, I like you, I really like you. Before I met you I never even thought about guys, then you come along with your ridiculous lips, and your charming slightly crazy personality, and your perfect ass and BAM! All of a sudden I think 'hmm, I might be gay'. Which I-"
Steve's ramble was halted by the press of Tony's lips against his, they were hesitant at first but gained intensity when Steve placed his hands on Tony's hips, bring them closer.
Tony pulled away slowly and leaned his forehead against Steve's, "we should get some more of those berries."
Steve laughed and kissed him again.
He'd tell Tony that he kept a hand full in his utility belt when they got home.