Broken Hearts
Spring had come to the Former Hell once more, and with it came the dreaded Spring Cleaning. Of course, even in The Palace of the Earth Spirits did this terrifying phenomenon take place.
Satori donned an apron, brought out a mob and got to work. And a lot of work it was, seeing as the Palace of the Earth Spirits housed more pets than some cities. Of course others would help her, but Orin wouldn't get near a bucket of water even if she was dying of thirst, Okuu was just not suited for cleaning and Koishi… Koishi was unable to help. No, Satori had to count on herself for this. Just like she had for years.
And so it happened, while Satori was dusting off a particularly tall cupboard, that a small, wooden box tumbled from on high and smacked her square on the forehead. As the girl fell onto the cold, hard floor, she heard the box clang against the floor, the rumbling from inside telling her it wasn't empty. Satori held her head, nudging the sore spot left by the falling item.
Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen that box before
It was ornately decorated, with dust giving the wood a grayish shine to its otherwise dark brown colour. In the front, the small container had a lock with a small key stuck inside it. Unable to contain her curiosity, Satori picked up the taunting box. There sounded a quiet click, and Satori slowly opened the lid, revealing the box to contain… A small book. The reclusive girl couldn't help but feel disappointed at this. She didn't know why, but she had somehow expected more from a box hidden for Gods-knows how many years.
Still, this book had cost her a bump on her forehead and she needed a break from cleaning, so it was going to be read!
The book itself was leatherbound and carried the distinctive smell of old paper. It had probably lied inside the box for years, hidden away in a dark corner of the Palace. However, there was something more interesting about this book than its age and production. The writing was one that Satori hadn't seen for ages. Upon the front page was a small, yellowed label with flowery writing saying:
Koishi's Diary
Don't read this, Satori!
Ó-Ó
Old memories washed over Satori, and her face broke into a smile.
She even made a tiny smiley… That was so like her.
Naturally, Satori knew she was supposed to honour her sister's privacy and stop reading there, but Koishi wouldn't mind and besides… It would be nice to hear her thoughts again. Satori sat down and began reading.
4th of Minazuki
Hi diary!
I'm Koishi! Satori gave you to me today, and told me to write stuff that happens during the day inside you. Yeah, she's a little weird, but she means well. Anyways, we'll be seeing a lot to each other from now on, so please take care of me, okay? :D
Oh well, you wanted to hear what happened today? See, it all started when Sis came into my room in the morning and said…
*Ø*Ø*
"Koishi, time to get up!"
Koishi slowly stirred underneath the sheets. Why did Satori always insist on interrupting her sleep so early in the morning? Her sister was blessed with a boring mind that could lull even a hyperactive cat on caffeine to sleep, but why couldn't she have a little mercy on the more creative souls that spent the night doing stuff? The younger satori groaned as she switched sides and continued her napping.
"Koishi, you aren't getting out of bed soon, we won't be able to go on a picnic as we planned."
A split-second later, and Koishi was standing by the doorway.
"What are you waiting for, let's go!"
Satori sighed.
"Koishi, breakfast comes first."
The smaller satori pouted for a few seconds, before the two sisters went on to eat. Together.
Later on, they gathered outside for the picnic, finding a bench on a remote location away from everything. No pets. No one but them. It was at that time, when they were separated from the world that shunned them, that Satori had given Koishi the diary.
"It's for writing your memories in." The purple haired girl told her sister with a smile. "If you write down the events of the day, you'll be able to remember the feelings and souvenirs that the day brought you."
"That's silly." Koishi giggled, "why would I forget today?"
Satori slowly shook her head, she knew this would come.
"Koishi, can you tell me what your 10th birthday was like?"
"Of course I can!" The young Komeiji slammed her fist boastfully into her chest, almost knocking off her hat. "It was… Something. It was very much something!"
Satori laughed. "You don't remember~!"
"I can't hide anything from you, right Sis? I guess I can see how this thing could be useful"
"Of course you can't, you should have learned it by now."
Satori giggled as Koishi stretched back, basking in the glory of the day. Unfortunately, a dark cloud soon entered the freespirited satori.
"Hey sis…"
Worry struck Satori's heart as she watched her sibling's troubled mind.
"What is it, Koishi?"
"Don't you ever feel lonely, being cut off from people like this?" Koishi's usually limitless energy had vanished, leaving behind a lifeless body.
"No, I don't." Satori grasped her sister's hand. "The rest of the world might hate us, but there isn't anything we can do about it."
Koishi's mind was about to react, but her sister cut her off.
"Not yet, let me finish." The eldest took a deep breath, while Koishi held her's. "We are satori. People fear us, not for what we do, but for who we are. That is their nature, their instinctive reaction. For them not to do so would mean they ceased to be people. At the same time, we can't deny our hearts without tearing them apart." Satori's eyes turned downwards. "Such is the way of the world…"
"But are we just destined to be alone all our lives!"
"Of course not!" Satori did her best to give an uplifting smile, despite the nature of the talk. "We aren't alone. We have each other, do we not? We don't need anyone else, do we?"
Koishi brightened up, the black fog dispelled from her mind. "No way! We are way cooler than the rest of them!"
The white-haired satori let out a hearty laugh, and Satori laughed with her (albeit she was a bit more subdued than that. At least one of them had to have some dignity).
"That's the spirit!"
And then Koishi threw herself at Satori. As Koishi buried her face in her sister's body, silent words emanated from her heart.
Thanks for the present, sis…
*Ø*Ø*
… and after that, we went back and Sis bought me ICE CREAM! I still don't know why she thinks me childish for liking that, we both know she likes it just as much. I just happen to be more honest about my feelings concerning ice-cold sugary goodness. Totally awesome day.
Anyways, I should probably get to bed, Sis warned me about a cold bucket of water should I stay up all night again… ( = 3 =)
Love, Koishi
Satori put the book down. Oh, she had totally forgotten that day. Aside from the present, back then it had seemed like a regular outing. Looks like Koishi thought a bit more of it, though.
Did we even talk back then, or were spoken words needless between us? God, it feels like an eternity has passed since then.
Satori found it slightly ironic. She was the one who had given Koishi the diary, but now it was her who was remembering the days gone past. Even some things she didn't want to…
That girl had always seemed less than content with her lot in life… If only I'd realize how much it actually meant to her.
Still, it was overall a pleasant memory. And, honestly, reading Koishi's take on things was refreshing (and Satori most definitely did not share the bizarre craving for Ice Cream her sister had. That was a delusion on Koishi's part). But before Satori could return to her reading, a cry called out to her.
Satori! There's a big problem!
Down the hallway darted a small black and red cat, her twin tails blazing behind her. Orin quickly localized her master, and immediately dove into her special spot in Satori's lap.
It's horrible! We are almost out of catni-What are you reading?
The kasha's head perked up, trying to catch a glimpse of what the lady was reading. Satori slowly stroke her pet's head.
"Now, now, Orin. What was it that killed the cat again?"
Not getting hearing the secret? The small youkai looked hopefully up at Satori, who just shook her head. Bah, cats have nine lives anyways. Tell me!
The satori giggled at her pets antics. "It's just Koishi's old diary. I found it while cleaning."
Orin came as closing to jumping as one could while still sitting comfortably in a girls lap. Oooh, let's read it all! Koishi's dark secrets will finally be mine! Muahahaha!
"Okay then, let us read it together."
And so they began a stroll down memory lane together, laughing when Koishi got kissed by a sturgeon and snickered when Koishi wrote some rather unsavoury comments about Satori (alongside a disturbingly accurate copy of her handwriting when Koishi felt the need to quote her sister). Koishi hadn't written every day, though, so they quickly ate through the months. Near the end, Orin was rolling on the floor, laughing (as much as a cat could laugh, anyways).
Oh, I always wondered why that picture was broken. So much for my theory of Okuu headbutting it by accident!
A small laugh escaped Satori's lips. "Yeah, that was how it broke. Pretty embarrassing at the time, honestly"
Oh, it's not so bad. You should've seen some of the things the other cats get up to. The denizen of Blazing Hell gathered herself enough to look Satori in the eye seriously. Never feed one of them junkfood. The results aren't pretty. Trust me.
"I do, I do." Satori stretched her arms out back, tired from holding a book for so long. While picking the book up again, she thought quietly to herself.
I guess I remembered wrongly. There wasn't as much of her sorrows as I had expected. Satori turned the page, ready for the next story. Perhaps this won't be as ba- Oh. This Day.
Orin immediately caught on to her masters feelings. What's wrong, Satori?
"Oh, nothing. Let's embark on another story, shall we?"
Are you sure about this?
Satori sighed silently. "Yes… This should prove to be educational for you too."
16th of Shimotsuki
Hi Diary!
I know I'm supposed to wait until the day is over before writing, but I am simply too excited for that! Today Satori's going to take me out and we'll buy a pet! We are going to town to find a pet! And I get to pick it! This is so awesome I could just SING! Seriously, this is going to be the BEST! DAY! EVER!
"She didn't write anything more concerning this day…" Satori shook her sadly. "Needless to say, it didn't turn out like like she wanted…"
*Ø*Ø*
Koishi practically dragged Satori across the pavement, she was that excited.
"Come on, sis! No need to be such a slowpoke!"
"No need to hurry so much either." Satori wheezed, having tried to keep up with her sister for several miles.
"But if we don't hurry, the perfect pet might have been sold when we get there!" Koishi did her very best impression of a sad puppy, a trick she had learned long ago. Still as effective now as it would ever be.
"I understand… Just let me catch my breath, okay?" Satori leaned up against a nearby wall, resting her sore muscles. "So, have you decided what kind of pet you want?"
Koishi quickly grabbed her sister's hand. "If you have time to think, you have time to run! Let's go!"
And over the hills they went… Until Koishi realized only Satori knew where the Petshop was. And since even she only had a vague idea where it was, Koishi was forced to slow down until her sister managed to navigate them to their destination.
"WHOA! Doesn't it look great, sis?"
"I don't know, it seems like your average shop to me."
The shop was decorated with a decayed sign saying "Yamada's Fantastic Pets" in bombastic writing, complete with a parrot giving an anatomically impossible thumbs-up.
"Come on, let's go in!"
The door slammed open as Koshi bursted her way through it. Her eyes were filled with stars, and her excitement was impossible to quell.
"Hi, we've come for a pet~!"
Satori, naturally, took a more dignified entry by simply walking through the doorway. "Please excuse my sister; she can be a little energetic sometimes."
The shopkeeper (presumably Mr. Yamada), to his credit, didn't seem very surprised at all this. He barely lifted an eyelid as he leaned up against the counter with a toothpick in his mouth. So even they come here, huh? Word must be spreading faster than I thought. "So what do you two want?"
Koishi immediately darted around the shop, looking at everything from the smallest salamander to a rather large capybara stuck in a far too small cage. In the meantime, Satori answered the shopkeeper.
"Koishi here will just be looking for a while, please wait warmly until she is ready."
"Sis, they have Archerfish! ARCHERFISH!"
The purple haired satori sighed. "It might take a while, though."
The middle aged guy spat out his toothpick as he said: "Sure, take your time. " As long as it doesn't take too long. No other buyers will come as long as those two are around.
Satori sighed, but let the comment slide. There was nothing to be gained from a confrontation here, and thankfully Koishi was too emerged in animals to hear what he said. A comment like that shouldn't ruin her sister's day.
It took a while, but eventually Koishi found a pet to her liking: A small, white rabbit with shifting, red eyes.
As her hand reached down towards the small critter, its alarmed heart echoed throughout the room.
Ohgod,I'mgettinggrabbed?WhatdoIdo?Oh,pleasedon'tbeanothergradeschooler!
Koishi slowly lifted the frightened lagomorph up and looked deeply into its tiny eyes.
Ohwhew, it'safullygrowngirl.
"Hi! I'm Koishi! What's your name?" The satori said at a volume for too high for the panicky mammal.
Ohno,it'sagrownupchild!Someonehelpme!
"Don't worry, there's nothing to be afraid of." Koishi cradled the little guy gently in her arms, slowly swaying back and forth as if to lull him to sleep. "I will protect you. I will definitely protect you."
Oh, thisiskindanice. Icould… Getusedtothis…
Koishi giggled as the rabbit rested by her bosom, before turning towards her sister. "I'd like Mr. Waddles, please."
"Mr. Waddles?"
"Well, he doesn't appear to have his own name, so I call him Mr. Waddles!"
Satori then approached Yamada.
"We'd like to buy that rabbit." She said, pointing to the furball currently nested on the chest of her sister.
"Well, that'll be-" 10,000 yen for that rabbit I paid 2,000 for.
"We both know it is worth much less than that." Satori stared at him calmly as she said so. "Had it been anyone other than us, you'd only charge 5,000 yen for this rabbit. Which, I might add, was illegally acquired."
Yamada sighed deeply. "Both you and I know that-"
Satori was about to intercept, but was cut off by the shopkeeper blocking her mouth. "Quiet! You will let me finish this!"
"You and I both know that this-" He gestured towards his shop with his free hand, "is the only place in town willing to serve your kind. So, that means I set the price around here."
He rubbed his chin, giving an obviously fake image of thoughtfulness. "I think, after the behavior you've shown so far, that you'll have to pay 12,000 yen instead."
After that, he finally removed his hand from Satori's mouth. She could have done it herself, of course, but it would only generate more hatred for Koishi… Who was currently clutching Mr. Waddles a bit too tightly.
Lungschrushed,can'tbreathe!
"Fine, here you go…" Satori reluctantly paid the cash. She hated giving in so easily, but Koshi was more important. Who knows, she might be able to leave an anonymous tip to the local law enforcement some later time. For now, she turned around and walked out the store "Let's go Koishi."
"O-okay sis."
And good riddance! Echoed the shop behind them.
*Ø*Ø*
Finding a bench outside again, the two sisters decided to take a small break (and allow Mr Waddles to gain some exercise himself, since he had been stuck in a small cage during his time with Yamada).
"You really didn't have to do that…"
Satori looked at her sister. Sometimes, that girl could be blind.
"Of course I did. You couldn't leave Mr. Waddles after that, right?"
"Well, no, but… He could have hurt you!" Koishi was visibly shaken by the events in the shop. "Just because you have that 3rd eye!"
"I know, Koishi, I was there." Satori reached down and stroked Mr. Waddles. "There's a reason we usually keep to ourselves. He was right; most people wouldn't even deal with us. Afraid of what we can see, what lies within their own hearts."
"It's… Just not fair." As Koishi was on the verge of tears, a small paw touched her feet. Mr. Waddles stood at her feet, looking up at her with his big eyes.
Pleasedon'tcry. Idon'twantKoishicrying.
Koishi sniffed, but forced a smile upon her face. "Okay, I won't cry. Just for you, Mr. Waddles."
Satori knew it wasn't over yet, but it was a start. At least Waddles was able to drive the young satori to smile. She was about to suggest that they returned home, but before Koishi could answer a voice broke the serenity.
"Excuse me; may I pet your rabbit?"
Satori had been so caught up in her sister's well-being that she hadn't noticed a small kid approaching. He was at most ten years old, and didn't seem to realize what exactly he was talking to. Of course, Satori didn't plan on telling him.
"Of course you may" Koishi said immediately, before quickly correcting herself. "Provided it's okay with you, Mr. Waddles."
What? Ohgod,gradeschooler. Panic seized the critter within milliseconds, Gradeschoolersarethe sourceofallevil, theyconsumetheflesh ofrabbitseveryday. Everybodyknows it,peopleget pickedupbygradeschoolers andneverreturn. Theygetdevoured andeverythingandit's ohsoterribleand-
"Don't worry Waddles. I'm here to protect you, remember?" Koishi picked up the pet, slowly scratching him behind the ear. " He doesn't want to eat you, he just wants to hold you a little. And maybe give you a hug, it seems."
Waddles eyes darted back and forth, memorizing every single escape route. Despite his instincts to run away, though, the satori's words calmed him down. IfKoishitrustshim… Imightbeabletoaswell.
Jumping from the hand to the ground, the rabbit slowly hopped towards the boy. Upon arrival, the boy was just about to grab the white rabbit when Koishi yelled:
"Stop! Don't hold him like that. If he moves even a single muscle, you'd drop him and he would be hurt."
The boy, stunned beyond belief, instantly lost all thoughts concerning little Mr. Waddles. "How did you know how I'd pick it up?"
Satori rose from the bench. She had a bad feeling about this. "Koishi, we should probably go now."
"No need sis. See? He doesn't fear or hate us, and he likes Waddles." Koishi felt, for the first time in a long time, hope that she could change her own loneliness. So she told the kid things exactly as they were. "Me and my sister are satori. We can read people's hearts and minds."
The boy's heart instantly filled with fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the different and, most of all, fear of the future. "So that's how you knew I wanted to hug it." They can read my mind? Everything? They know that I was the one that broke mother's vase, not my little brother. They're going to tell her, I have to get away!
With that thought, the boy turned around and dashed back towards the center of the city. It wouldn't take long for the news to spread, and with the satori's reputation being what it was, the results couldn't be pretty.
"Koishi, we need to go NOW!"
Satori grabbed her sister's hand, but Koishi didn't even notice.
"Why… We hadn't done anything. All we did was telling the truth." Koishi's heartbeat began to go faster, her breathing became shallow. "WHY DO THEY ALL HATE ME SO MUCH!"
Satori had no time for this. She raised her hand high and brought it down upon her sister's cheek. Koishi stopped, looking upon her sister with bewildered eyes.
"If we don't go now, they'll come for us. They'll panic over their "attacked" child, band together for safety and move out to get rid of the monsters once and for all. That is how people survive!" Satori once again took hold of Koishi's hand. "You need to take Waddles immediately and then we run out of here together. Understand?"
Koishi nodded once, before scurrying over to the very much confused Mr. Waddle.
And over the hills they ran again, this time with dread and anxiety in their hearts instead of dreams and happiness. Unfortunately, the city wasn't large enough for them to hide in. By the time they neared the edge of the town, Satori knew they were caught.
"You won't be getting away with this!"
The crowd had surrounded them, scores of different voices echoing from the differing hearts. Some wanted to protect their loved ones from getting their minds violated, others wanted to keep their own secrets hidden for good. A few joined simply because their friends did and one… One of them just wanted to see things burn.
Koishi didn't pay attention to that, though. She was busy trying to get through to the angry mob.
"Just leave us alone, and we'll go away!"
Satori, however, knew it was in vain. Sure, some of them felt satisfied with getting them away, but they didn't have the courage to stand up to those who craved for more. Of course, they had to get through the villagers somehow.
Koishi, listen to their hearts. Only 5 of them have the guts to try and stop us if we walked through. We can use that to our advantage.
Koishi whipped her head towards her sister.
"Eh? But won't that just make it worse?"
Koishi! Think! If we stay here, it definitely won't end well!
Okay sis. If you say so…
And then the two hated youkai moved towards the villagers, who moved to stay a safe distance away from them (utterly unaware of the 3rd eye's effective range). As Satori predicted, only a couple of them stood in their way, and even they moved when they realized they were the only ones standing between the Komeijis and freedom. If I keep this up, they'll reveal everything…
But as the two sisters were about to move past the mob, one of them decided that something should be done anyways. He reached down, his mind's voice drowning in the sea of shouting, and picked up a rock. And as he hurled the stone through the air, others started to join him. Finding what they could and threw it at the satori. Satori naturally tried to protect her sister, shielding her from as much artillery as she could, but a few got through anyways. Even though Koishi got hurt by this assault, she steeled her heart and kept going through.
That is, until one of the rocks struck Mr. Waddles head. Koishi looked in horror as the small rabbit's head got smashed by the rock, his white fur quickly got dyed red. He was still alive, which was both a blessing and a curse.
godithurtssomuchplease helpmeKoishi thepainican'tseeanymore
Satori wasted no time, she quickly grabbed her sister and dragged out of it. The trip home was long, and throughout the entire journey, only one thought crossed Koishi's mind:
It's all my fault…
*Ø*Ø*
"Mr. Waddles died later that night" Satori stated as a matter of fact. "Koishi then wanted to be alone for a bit and… I let her."
Orin had found herself unable to help her master as she retold this painful memory. All she could do was stand by her side and listen closely.
"It had been a rough day. We had to stand powerless by and watch him die, slowly and painfully." The oldest sister slowly shook her head. "I knew she was heartbroken, but I failed to see just how much it hurt her. I thought that, after some time alone, she'd be ready to talk about it and, given time, we could go on like we always had. But…"
Orin had a really bad feeling; she didn't want to hear what came next.
"When I came to wake her up the following morning, she was gone." Orin's fears got confirmed far too quickly. "Her body was still there, but her mind, the heart that had always been alongside me, had vanished."
Satori picked up the old diary once more, and turned a page. "Oh look." She giggled weakly, and revealed a page that was slightly crumbled as if someone had spilled water on it a long time ago. "Only one entry left…"
Satori, you don't have to do this.
"Yes, I do… I need to finish this."
Why did it have to happen? Why must they hate us so? Everything's this stupid eye's fault. I wish I didn't have it. Sis is sad as well. She doesn't say it, but she hates this as much as I do. Being able to read people's mind brings nothing but pain and suffering. Every time I close my eyes, I hear his cries for help, his pleas and regrets.
It's all because of me. Because I a-
The rest of the text was too blurry and impossible to read. Or perhaps was it just Satori's eyes. She couldn't tell by now. She was about to wipe the water from her eyes when she was grabbed from behind. Turns out that Rin had turned into her human form while Satori was reading and decided to hug her.
"Orin, I am fine, you can let g-"
"I don't want to!"
"Eh?" Satori didn't really understand. She really was fine, even if slightly saddened by reliving the worst trauma of her entire life.
Despite this, Orin's heart was determined not to let go. She was 110% sure that Satori needed help, even dismissing her claims of wellness by saying… Oh yeah. Satori can't read their own hearts.
"Of course you are saddened by this! Of course you aren't fine! Koishi didn't just break her own heart that night, she took yours as well!"
Orin turned Satori around, and stared directly into her eyes.
"Satori, you've closed Koishi off as well, haven't you?"
"No, I wouldn'-"
"You stay inside the Palace while Koishi wanders about outside. You make sure the pets will entertain Koishi whenever she's around, so you don't have to do it yourself." Orin took a deep sigh. This was going to hurt, but she had to do it. "Satori… Whenever Koishi comes by, you never look at her."
That cracked Satori's defenses. She broke down and started sobbing. "You cannot imagine what it is like, to see your own sister and yet see nothing. To talk to her and get as much of a response as if it was a stone."
Satori lifted her head from Orin's shoulders. "I just can't shake the feeling that… The Koishi I knew and loved is no more…"
Orin slowly stroked Satori's back. "You know she's still in there."
"Yes, I know that. She still does Koishi'ish things like skipping everywhere and picking up cuddly things. But at the same time, she steals from stores because she simply doesn't think of paying. She leaves in the middle of conversations because a flier seems more interesting at that moment and…" Satori swallowed forcefully. "And she rejected me as well. She found escaping the pain of the world more important than me…"
"Yeah, but is that an excuse not to see her?"
"No, of course not, but I-"
"Then you have to talk to her." Orin wiped the tears of her master's face. "You cannot just deny her like that. She is too important to you."
Orin's ears perked up, and Satori didn't even read all of the cat's thoughts before she dashed out of the room. The cats are making an uproar. That usually means that she has returned.
Satori ran and ran, ignoring every single surprised thought that she passed. She didn't even notice anything that wasn't directly in her way. Until she saw a recognizable black hat on her sisters head.
"Hi sister." Koishi said, wearing the same smile she usually did these days. Her eyes also had the usual energyless shine to them, but the quickly turned curious when she saw Satori. "Your eyes are red. Why have you been crying?"
Satori panted and had to support herself up against the wall. Koishi, on the other hand, didn't seem tired at all. Actually, she didn't look like she was anything other than a tad bit curious. The older Komeiji couldn't help but glance at her sister closed eye, hovering around her chest.
"Just found an old memory. But how have you been, Koishi? Would you like some Ice Cream?"
Koishi stared blankly for a split second, before answering. "Sure, Ice Cream is delicious."
-Fin
Author's notes: Hi everybody, I'm back again. Wait, are people still around? I write anyways!
I apologize for not publishing anything for a year, but my studies have really eaten up all my time, not to mention strategically placed Writer's Blocks make sure nothing ever gets done.
Anyways, this is probably my most serious work yet, and will most likely remain that way for a long time. This is an entry for the MLSF's 22nd Fanfic Challenge, where the theme was Disability. Naturally, my first thought was of a certain satori. Unfortunately, I found the focus of this story to shift while I was writing it, so I am no longer sure it totally fits. But as long as it gets me writing, I don't care!
This AN is dragging on… I'll end this quickly! So long everybody. I plan on writing some more, but I don't know how much I can keep it up! This is Omegahugger Signing off!
P.S. It appears that likes to delete random parts. Therefore, if you see some places where words should be but seem to lack, please tell me so I can fix it. C: