Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Chap.-1~This will burn your eyes~
The cows barked. Chickens burped. Alice screamed way off key and in the midst of all this MICHELLA APPEARED~ "Tra-lalalala!" She screeched as Emmett also appeared did a rock move and vanished in a puff of deep no color smoke.
"I now announce Bella dead!" She continued at her first reign of the Twilight Queen. In a purple flash of lightening, Bella Swan melted.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Were her last words. Michella cackled evilly as she held the key to thee Twilight Book.
"I shall now marry Edward!" As her words commanded, Edward entered, fell on his knees, and proposed to her.
"Kiss my shoes!" She giggled. He did as told. She sighed. All was good "You were way too good for Bella anyway." She again sighed. "Ah. All is good."
But she spoke too soon for . . . A MOB OF RABID TWILIGHT FANS DASHED TOWARDS HER!
"TRA-LALALALA!" They shouted. Then, they circled around Michella and chanted, "Bring Bella Swan Back! Bring Bella Swan Back! Bring Bella Swan Back! Brin—"
An eleven year old who knew nothing of Twilight interrupted, "B.B.S.B!" She then went to smack a "Bring Bella Swan Back" sign in Michella's face repeatedly. This seemed to be her weakness for she exploded with her intestines and everything! While everyone else was grossed out, but happy for their victory, a sadistic bastard showed up and ate Michella's leftovers for lunch. People screamed even more grossed out at this gory scene.
Edward, who had disappeared for the majority of this, laughed at everyone's faces not knowing what was going on.
In conclusion, Bella was resurrected, Edward back to being Edward, Alice got her pretty voice back, Emmett learned to dance, and the rest of the Cullens taught 80 year olds how to cook.
--The End
Ps. And everyone who had chocolate for desert lived happily ever after!