A/N: No idea where this came from, but it was fun to write, so here you go - a bit of suggestive birthday Gladnis! Happy (seven-weeks-late) birthday, Gladio!
"Thanks for inviting us over for your birthday dinner, Gladio!" Prompto said cheerfully as he and Noctis followed the Shield toward the west wing of the Citadel, where he shared an apartment with his longtime lover and recent spouse, Ignis.
Gladio nodded in acknowledgement and smiled, feeling his heart lightening at the prospect of seeing his bespectacled beauty just as it did every night. Even now, nearly three years after the light had returned to the land of Lucis, the rebuilding effort had only just begun. Since Ignis's talents were better utilized developing and supervising the relief programs for Lucian citizens than by shadowing Noctis and protecting him from bodily harm, the two regretfully spent most of their working hours apart these days.
"Of course I invited you," he replied gruffly, reaching into one of the pockets of his uniform to retrieve his card key as his front door came into view. "You're kind of my closest friends. Not to mention, it isn't every day the King of Lucis and his Royal Consort give people free booze."
Prompto and Noctis each carried some form of liquor in honor of tonight's occasion: Prompto a stout whiskey he knew Gladio enjoyed, and Noctis a bottle of blackberry wine from the year Gladio was born, which he had insisted Gladio save for later so he could enjoy it together with Ignis.
"Indeed," Noctis replied in a hybrid accent somewhere between Ignis's and that of his father Regis. "However, in this instance, we have agreed to make an exception."
"Forgive my insolence, Your Majesty," Prompto teased, "but I seem to remember that I suggested it, and you agreed." He gently bumped his hip against Noctis's, earning a chuckle from the King and an eye roll from Gladio.
Noctis sighed and dropped the accent. "Aww, Prom. You couldn't just let me have that one, could you?"
"Nope."
"Alright, can it, you two," Gladio chuckled, finally reaching his front door and sliding the key card into the scanner. "I don't care who thought of it, I just know it'll go well with whatever Iggy made for…"
He trailed off as he stepped inside, his brain short circuiting for a moment as it worked overtime to process the sight in front of him. Just to the right of the entryway and in the middle of their large kitchen stood Ignis, holding a large white three-layered cake and dressed in nothing but his glasses and a black eight-inch-long waitress's apron. Gladio completely forgot about the other two behind him, all of the blood in his head having immediately rushed downward and left him slightly dazed.
"Welcome home," Ignis purred, striding toward him and sashaying from side to side as he did to show off his long legs and the curves of his perfect hips and ass. "Are you ready for your birthday present, love?"
Just then the advisor caught sight of Noctis and Prompto standing just behind his husband, and he froze in place. The cake slipped from his hands, splattering onto the tile between their feet, and he quickly ducked behind the kitchen island and flushed scarlet from the base of his neck to the tops of his ears.
"Y-Your Majesties!" he squeaked, his voice pitched higher than Gladio ever recalled hearing it before. "What a – a pleasant surprise! I didn't think we were having company tonight, or I – What –" He paused and regained a portion of his composure. "What brings you here?"
"We were just, uh…" Noctis trailed off, looking toward the ceiling even though he was sure that image was going to be seared into his retinas for the rest of his life.
"We wanted to bring you guys some drinks, and uh, yeah. Here…" Prompto trailed off, taking the wine from Noctis and placing it gingerly on the table in the entryway alongside the whiskey. "So anyway, um, you two crazy kids have fun, and uh… use a condom!"
"What the hell, Prom?" Noctis hissed.
Prompto winced. "I don't know, I panicked, okay? Let's go!" He grabbed Noctis's arm and tugged him back out of the door, calling out a flustered "Happy birthday Gladio we'll talk later 'kay bye!" before the two of them disappeared from view.
Gladio and Ignis stood in silence for a moment, trying to get over the shock of everything that had just happened. The Shield was the first to move, stepping over the mushy remains of the beautiful cake and pulling Ignis into his arms for a gentle kiss.
The advisor nuzzled him and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a couple of deep breaths until most of the blush had disappeared from his face. "That," he muttered quietly, "was less than ideal."
"Ah, don't worry about them. They're married too, remember? Not like you have anything they haven't seen before. Sorry about the cake, though. I know you must've worked hard on it."
"No matter," Ignis replied, quickly shaking off the last of his embarrassment in favor of smirking at Gladio with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I've crafted many cakes and averted countless kitchen disasters over the years. It will be no trouble to whip up another." He reached into the largest pocket of his apron and produced a can of whipped cream, squirting a dollop between his parted lips and slowly swallowing it, the tip of his pink tongue flicking out to capture a tiny drop on the tip of his finger.
Gladio's breath caught in his throat.
"Come along, Gladiolus," Ignis murmured, clasping their hands together and beckoning him toward their bedroom. "I'll even let you add the frosting before you blow out the candle."