Endless Questions
By: Lily
Prompt: #82 – If
Approx. Word Count: 238
Rating: PG, for slightly depressing themes
Summary: Mika asks herself a few burning questions.
What if? What a strange question. To ask what would have happened if we had done things differently. What if I hadn't met him? No… that's far too difficult to think about. What if he hadn't met him? That is easier… more pleasant. He wouldn't care so much about him… why does he now? That overly childish man. Why is he so special? If he were normal, would people still love him so much? What if he weren't so talented? Would he still be allowed to walk free on the streets? Or would he have been placed in an insane asylum long ago? What if he just didn't care so much? What if my husband had just dropped him after Nittle Grasper broke up? It is something he would do… why didn't he?
I don't wish to linger on that thought. It is upsetting… What if I hadn't allowed him to take Eiri to New York? What if I had gone with them? Would things still be the way they are now? Would Eiri be so cold? Or would he still be the happy, naïve boy he once was? Like Shindou… is that why Eiri is still with him? Because Shindou is the image of his former self? Is that what draws them together? There is a lot I do not understand… What if I were different? Would Tohma still love me? Or would he love me more?