A/N
Those of you who recall the Love is in the Air promotion for the game might recall that in the trailer, Zagara is seen looking at an app called "Matchmakers" - a made-up dating site that lists the likes, dislikes, and desires of Thrall, Illidan, and Anub'arak. The idea for this series was to take the concept and apply it to the heroes of the game. Not every hero (e.g. not alternate skins, so no Magni or Widowmaker), but every 'proper' hero, including ones that haven't been released yet or were canceled during development.
So, first up, Diablo.
Heroes of the Storm: Matchmakers
Chapter 1: Diablo
Aidan
Likes: Ploughing through the darkness, slaying demons, gathering loot…
Dislikes: That whispering voice within me that haunts my every thought.
What I'm Looking For: Someone who's willing to be there for me during the hard times. Warning – will have to tolerate bouts of insanity and spikes protruding from my face from time to time.
Auriel
Likes: Cheerleading. hopscotch (hey, you know you like it), gardening.
Dislikes: Discord, strife, being compared to Wonder Woman (no, Al'maiesh is not the Lasso of Truth, it's completely different!).
What I'm Looking For: Someone nice who doesn't argue much. Like, at all. Do you have any idea how much family drama I've had to deal with up in Heaven?
Azmodan
Likes: Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. And basketball.
Dislikes: Purity, virtue, and all that nonsense. And nephalem.
What I'm Looking For: Oh baby, you know what I like…
Belial
Likes: Truth or Dare, Twenty Questions, Clue, Where's Waldo?
Dislikes: Juries, polygraphs, nephalem.
What I'm Looking For: A nice stable partner. A person with honesty. One who will assist me in my conquest of Hell.
One of those requests is a lie.
Baal
Likes: To destroy, annihilate, and gouge on the flesh of mortals.
Dislikes: The artsy types.
What I'm Looking For: Someone to march beside me as I lay waste to this miserable world.
The Butcher
Likes: FRESH MEAT!
Dislikes: VEGETABLES!
What I'm Looking For: FRESH MEAT! (particularly sausage).
Cain
Likes: Stories, storytelling, scrolls of ancient lore, ancient artifacts.
Dislikes: Scrolls of identification (steal my business will you?), people who won't stay awhile and listen.
What I'm Looking for: Oh, I'm too old for this thing. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Cydaea
Likes: To bathe in poison with my playthings, and spin my endless web.
Dislikes: Those who cannot have fun, and accept the true natures of their lust.
What I'm Looking For: Oh come into my web and see…
Diablo
Likes: The smell of terror, the scent of fear, and the symphony of nightmares.
Dislikes: Meddling heroes who stop me getting away with my plans.
What I'm Looking For: A mortal host. Seriously, go through one about every game.
Ghom
Likes: Food, glorious food.
Dislikes: To do nothing but brood.
What I'm Looking For: To have that extra bit more.
Isendra
Likes: Little girls who…wait, that didn't come out right.
Dislikes: The Vizjerei Clan, and all those stuck-up sorcerers within it.
What I'm Looking For: I only take the best. If you think that's you, give me a call.
Johanna
Likes: Piety, chastity, dedication, faith, martial prowess, physical endurance, etc.
Dislikes: Weakness, smart alecs, demons, heretics, apostates, infidels, etc.
What I'm Looking For: Fine, I admit it, I'm just looking for an apprentice. Interested?
Kharazim
Likes: Meditation, walks along the Sky Monastery, peace and quiet.
Dislikes: Children. Little brats never shut up.
What I'm Looking For: Alas, my vows of chastity prevent me from answering this. Temptation is a cruel mistress.
Leah
Likes: Adventure (nothing too rough), the ability to just kick back and relax.
Dislikes: People who talk too much. Yes, I can stay and listen, that doesn't mean I have to.
What I'm Looking For: Honestly, I'm a bit wary about the idea of family right now. Just…give me a sec, okay?
Leoric
Likes: Milk, croquet, pleasant walks through my gardens.
Dislikes: Traitors, backstabbers, people who kill me more than once (bastards).
What I'm Looking For: A good partner. But no children. Little twats only betray you.
Li-Ming
Likes: Magic, power, fame, fortune.
Dislikes: People who doubt me, people who oppose me, people who mock me, people who think they're above me, etc.
What I'm Looking For: Hah, you think I would desire something as simple as a partner? Dream on, plebes.
Malthael
Likes: Angels.
Dislikes: Demons, humans, nephalem. Seriously, hate those guys.
What I'm Looking For: Angel or bust. Call me a bigot, I don't care.
Mephisto
Likes: Hmm…not much actually.
Dislikes: Anything and everything. Seriously, I'm the Lord of Hatred, what do you expect?
What I'm Looking For: Someone to subject to my absolute authority as Lord of Hell. All or nothing. Deal with it.
Nazeebo
Likes: Poisons, plagues, pestilences, etc.
Dislikes: People who question my credentials. I'm a doctor. I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself.
What I'm Looking For: Hoodoo voodoo that I hope you do.
Sonya
Likes: Hearing the lamentations of my enemies.
Dislikes: Quitters, people who go AFK, lag…
What I'm Looking For: Snu snu. Lots of snu snu.
Tyrael
Likes: Justice.
Dislikes: Injustice.
What I'm Looking For: Someone to stand with me throughout the ages. Immortal or mortal, until the end of time, and sundering of eternity.
Valla
Likes: Puppies, rainbows, walks along the beach.
Dislikes: Demons, Diablo, and demons.
What I'm Looking For: Someone to mend my cold, barren heart.
Xul
Likes: Zool, muthfucka, Zool! And Ghostbusters.
Dislikes: Weakness, and light. Seriously, hurts my eyes.
What I'm Looking For: Someone interesting. Good body, inquisitive mind…