Okay... this is just an AkuRoku drabble I thought up while I was playing Kingdom Hearts 365.5 days.

The title - for once - isn't a direct pun on the series and/or the name of a song I like; but the reason should be fairly obvious, anyway. Roxas and Axel are incomplete; but if that's true, why are they so close? Why does it seem like Axel really cares about Roxas? And why the hell is it that I think of them like normal people think of Kairi and Sora? I'm not usually this into yaoi pairings, but I still think they're cute and realistic as a couple.

This will be a two-shot, hopefully - one shot Roxas, the other shot Axel. Yes, it will be angsty. Deal with it. Kay? Shounen ai - no lemon, cuz I'm not good at that. So, it'll be T for Teen.

Kanpai!

-Nana

Part One (Roxas)

I don't understand you. I never have, but I suppose it's more applicable now, as I sit on the edge of this dock, trapped inside Sora's body.

You've always watched over me, like I couldn't take care of myself. Well, I suppose it's only natural; I was the youngest member in Organization XIII. But... I had the keyblade. I had enough power to take care of myself - hell, I had enough power to destroy the Organization, if I had to. I didn't need to be your "friend." I didn't need your help, even if you wanted to give it to me.

I could have pushed you away, as I had pushed the others away many times before.

But something told me to stay with you. A voice... or maybe a feeling. I can't be sure anymore. All I knew was that I was drawn to your bright, red hair, and to that emotionless laugh that some mistook as being "happy." I was drawn to your reckless nature.

I was drawn to you.

But... it couldn't have been love. Love's an emotion - something a Nobody doesn't have, something we can't have. It's a fact. Could it be that I was reaching out to you because you reminded me of someone from my past - the past I couldn't even remember, the past no one wanted me to remember? Could it be that I longed for you only in a physical sense? I'm not sure. All I know is that I would have betrayed the Organization for you, even if you wouldn't do the same for me.

I shudder as my host licks his Popsicle, trying to erase those memories from my mind. I never liked Sea-Salt Ice Cream - I always detested the bitter aftertaste it left behind. But... I couldn't bring myself to stop eating it. You bought it for me every time we managed to meet outside of the Organization. I ate it because it was impolite to refuse a gift.

Then, when I became "normal," I started buying it myself.

I think... I did it because I remembered you. Even back then. I remembered you - I didn't just recognize you. I know now that there's a difference. Everything I was called out to you. Even now, I still call out to you. Every time I taste that revolting ice cream, I find myself wondering what would have been... if I'd have told you. I would have been rejected, almost definitely - maybe even laughed at. What kind of a Nobody can love? Hell, why could I love? Why did I love? None of it was rational - and that was what we were, right? The rational side of our former selves? A mind without a heart?

Now you're dead. And I'm stuck with half a heart and the memories of someone I barely even know.

I was supposed to love Namine. But I didn't. I don't. Even now, the idea of being with her... romantically... sends disgusted shudders up and down my spine. I wanted to be with you, to make love to you, to see you cry out in ecstasy when... well, you get the idea. But if I had told you this, what would you have done? Thrown a fuck my way? Would you have ruffled my hair with your fingers and told me that I was "too innocent" to want those kinds of things? Either way, I would have felt disgusted with myself. I still do. I fell in love with a guy - a guy who wasn't gay, who could never reciprocate my feelings even if he was gay. A guy who was sleeping with Larxene, for God's sake. My survival depended upon me doing my job and keeping the peace between our members, and falling into reciprocated love with you wasn't part of the plan. Eventually, I decided to run away and look for the memories I had lost when I became a Nobody.

Then I became trapped in Twilight Town and lost what few memories I had. Again.

I found Pence, Olette and Hayner while I was in Twilight Town, although I'm pretty sure they didn't really exist. I... cared about them. I enjoyed our time together. We were normal. I was happy... for a little while.

And then, I saw you again.

"Come back to the Organization," you said as you held your gloved hand out, obviously waiting for me to grab it and go back with you. I felt... something pushing at the back of my mind, a bittersweet feeling that I couldn't quite name. I felt myself wanting to reach out to you, knowing that if I did, I'd be leaving behind everything I knew back in Twilight Town. But... I didn't know you. It was crazy to go off with a stranger - and even if that girl, Namine, was right, I didn't know you. It didn't compute. Now I wonder what would have happened had I done what I'd wanted to do, instead of staying in Twilight Town like Namine told me to.

I can't blame her - she only did what was necessary to save Sora, and ultimately Kingdom Hearts - but I want to. I want to blame her so badly I could scream, and I think she knows that. If she hadn't taken Sora's memories apart... I wonder, would you still be alive? Would I still be in love with you? Would I even exist? I don't want to die, but I would rather do that than have to live with the fact that my existence indirectly caused your death. You were so vibrant, even without a heart.

I love you, Axel. I've never admitted it - and probably never will - but I do, and I believe I always will. I just... wonder whether or not we'll meet again.

Who knows?

Okay, there you have it - Roxas vagging out on us. Well, okay, he's sort of emo anyway, but still - I hope I haven't gotten him totally out of character. (I'm working from Kingdom Hearts 358.5 Days, not Kingdom Hearts II - because technically, Roxas only existed in that timeline.) Next up, it's Axel - the guy without a heart, who somehow ends up falling in love with Roxas anyway. (Because let's face it - his last lines were total Yaoi-Fangirl-Fodder.) And yes, he's going to be funny in this.

3,

Erin.