This is a collaborated piece with my best friend, Shadoweddrm. Tea Party was created a long time ago during a very interesting sleep over, and now, our parody will finally be published. Please enjoy!
He sighed. It was going to be a very long two hours. He chucked in his seat and watched the spectacle around him unfurl.
Katara coughed, rupturing the eerie silence. She lowered her head after feeling everybody's eyes on her. She blushed and grabbed her teacup.
Toph pushed her hands under her thighs to make it look like she was uncomfortable. "Hey Twinkle Toes!" she shouted, "Pass the sugar!"
"Now, Toph," Iroh said, "remember you manners."
"Umm…" Toph stuttered, "Aang, could you pass the sugar?"
Aang stared at the blind earthbender because she had been passed the sugar a long time ago. Aang grabbed the tiny spoon and container and handed it to her anyway. There was an awkward silence and then Toph let out a violent burp. "'Scuse me! I didn't know that was there."
Katara giggled and turned to her droopy brother. "Hey Sokka, wanna pass the teapot?"
"This is the worst idea ever!" said Zuko. He adjusted his Fire Lord crown and Katara snorted.
"Iroh," Katara said, smiling, "your idea was great. Your choice of guests, not so much."
"Shut your mouth!" Zuko snorted. "A tea party? Really? I mean come on, Uncle! I don't even like tea! I even hate how it's spelled. T-E-A. It's like some codename for terrible!" Zuko was panting as he finished.
Aang looked around at the heated guests. "Anyone wanna see…?"
"NO!" erupted the angry benders (plus Sokka). "Nobody wants to see the stupid marble trick!" Zuko and Katara screamed at once.
Sokka looked at his sister and the unbearable one. "Hey! Look!" he shouted. "A monkey on a tricycle!"
Everybody turned to look. "That's just Zhao," Zuko sighed. "Wait a minute…" He turned to look at Zhao and was speechless.
"General, do you have another cup?" Zhao asked.
Iroh placed a cup on the table and filled it with Zhao's favorite tea. Zhao grabbed it and sipped. He smiled. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" Zuko shouted.
"Yum, good tea," Zhao told Iroh. Iroh smiled. Zhao smacked his lips and stuck out his hand to grab another teapot close to him. Katara, Sokka and Aang shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
"Why do I feel a lot of tension?" Toph asked. "Who is this Zhao guy anyways?"
Zuko started to growl. "He tried to kill the moon spirit and failed. He got himself killed. Idiot," Zuko said. He watched Zhao sip more tea. "Hey deadie…pass the ketchup."
Zhao looked frantically for the ketchup and couldn't find one. "Very funny princy-poo," he cooed.
"Why are you even here anyway?" Aang asked.
"I'm the entertainment!" Zhao shouted as he stood on the table and stripped his armor. He had a pink thong covering the middle section of his body. Katara screamed. Sokka and Aang struggles to beat her to the ground and cover her eyes.
"AHHH!" Toph screamed. "I'm blind!" She immediately removed her hands from the table and her feet from the floor. She sat in a fetal position, trying to block what she felt from her brain.
The large cherry door opened revealing two women. Their names were Koori and Kiki.
"Hey Iroh, we're here for the tea-"
"What the heck?" Koori shouted as Kiki ran over to the table, threatening him with a kunai in her hand.
"Zhao, you son of a bitch, get off of the table and put your damn pants back on!" Kiki shouted.
"Aww, come on. You know you want to touch these…" he smirked, pulling at his sideburns.
Koori was hiding behind Iroh and she squeaked, "They're not that great."
Katara was now waterbending the shit out of Sokka and Aang. "Let me go! He's not showing anything!" she shouted.
"Yet," Zhao replied.
The room fell silent. "Oh my God! Get off the freaking table!" everybody shouted.
Iroh had now turned a bright color of pink. Toph started to rock back and forth in the fetal position, sucking her thumb with one hand and covering up her ear closest to Zhao with the other. "AHH! My virgin ears!"
"We can fix that you know…" Zhao growled, his eyebrows going up slowly.
Toph screamed, "RAPE!"
"It wouldn't be the first time," Koori said. Aang blew a giant air pocket and Zhao was blasted off the table. One leg of Zhao's was hanging off a chair when he landed beside the now seated Koori. Koori screamed loudly and she took the heat out of the air, but that made a bigger problem. Since Zhao was only in a pink thong, he was immediately cold. He turned in the seat and sat properly. He turned in the chair and a giant, 'faaaaarrrrrrrrtttttttt' engulfed the sound waves in the room.
Zhao blushed. "It was the chair," he said, "honest."
"Well, at least he's off of the table," Zuko sighed.
"We can fix that too!" Zhao screamed.
Angry, Zuko and Kiki both shouted, "If you don't watch it, you'll be getting fixed!" The looked at one another, all eyes upon them. When everyone turned to look at Zhao, he was gone.
"Finally!" Sokka cheered.
Toph stood up and shouted, "WOOHOO!" Her feet landed on the floor. As soon as she did that, however, Zhao came back into the room riding a cow.
He was screaming, "SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COW!"
Immediately, Koori and Kiki chimed, "Save a cow, ride a Zhao!"
He looked at them and smiled. "You wanna try it?" he asked.
Zhao kicked the cow and it wouldn't move. "Move you dirty animal!" he shouted.
Zuko looked. "Yeah Zhao. Move you dirty animal!"
Koori started to laugh. "That has two meanings."
Zhao, who was still on the cow, looked over at Iroh and started to laugh hysterically when he saw the shade of red on Iroh's face.
"Would you please put some pants back on?" Katara asked.
Zhao looked at her and smirked. "Make me," he mocked. Zhao bolted from the cow and jumped on the table again. He flung a giant orb of fire into the air and began to disco dance. He chanted, "BURN BABY BURN! DISCO INFERNO!"
Kiki and Zuko, behind Zhao, immediately screamed. "I don't want to see that!" Zhao turned around and Zuko lowered his hands from Kiki's eyes. Zuko noticed that there was a fray on the one side of the thong. "Oh dear Agni!" Zuko shouted, throwing his cup of tea at Zhao.
"Fine, I have a better song!" Zhao retorted, turning around and dancing, his butt shaking. "I like big butts and I cannot lie!" He jumped off of the table and grabbed Katara's hands, pulling her around the room, dancing and singing the song. He let Katara go and grabbed Aang, swinging him around as if they were ballroom dancing.
Sokka immediately stood up, "There were once three guys trapped by cannibals. The cannibals told them that they would have to bring back 10 of any kind of fruit. The first guy had 10 apples. The cannibals said, 'now if you can stick all 10 of them up your ass without making any facial expressions, we'll let you live.' He got to the third apple before his eyes scrunched up in pain, so he was eaten.
"The second guy brought back 10 cherries. He was on the tenth cherry when he burst out laughing, so he was eaten. When the two guys met in the Spirit World, the first guy said, 'man, I thought you were gonna make it, why'd you laugh anyway?'
"The second guy replied, 'I saw the third guy come back carrying 10 pineapples!"
Everyone laughed, except for Koori who whispered, "I don't get it." Zhao walked over to her and whispered something in her ear. "Oh."
Kiki walked over to Zuko and draped her arms around him. Toph threw her hands into the air. "Dog pile on Zuko!"
Zhao, being the only one who really paid attention, jumped off of the table (which he had been on once again) and landed on top of Zuko, who landed on top of Kiki, who squeaked.
"Get your ass offa me you idiot!" Zuko screamed when he saw the pink thong. Kiki was desperately trying to get some air, to no avail, so she kicked the two off of her. Zhao landed on the other end of the room, next to Aang. Kiki stormed over to Zhao and grabbed his sideburns.
"Listen you-" She was cut off as he clasped his hand over her mouth.
"Let go of the sideburns and I won't have to sick the cow on you!"
Kiki pulled her mouth away. "Put your pants on and I'll let go of the sideburns," Kiki demanded.
Zhao grabbed his pants from the chair and stated, "DEAL!" He shoved his legs into his pants and Kiki released his beloved sideburns. He raced over to Koori and dove behind her for safety.
Koori sighed and looked back at Zhao, "you can't hide behind me forever, you know." She placed her hands on her hips as if to prove her point.
Iroh was starting to get irritated. He had listened to Zhao ruining his party and stood. "EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!"
Everybody sat and Iroh glared at everybody. "I invited you all here for tea, not to fool around." The room fell silent except for the echo of Iroh's voice. Zuko started to sip his tea. Everybody stared at him.
"What?" he asked.
"You're drinking tea," Katara whispered.
"So?" he asked.
"You never drink tea," she replied.
Zhao erupted into applause and jumped onto the table. "We need to dance to the milkshakes song!" he screamed. "My milkshakes bring all da boys to da yard…"
Zhao was again, blasted off of the table, but not by Aang. Stared went from Zuko to Koori. "What?" she asked.
"You," Kiki stuttered, "you kicked Zhao's ass off of the table!"
"General Iroh said that he wanted a tea…" Koori whispered. "Master interrupted…" She turned red and became embarrassed.
"Good for you, Koori. I didn't think that you had it in ya!" Iroh's voice boomed.
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