Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot.
Title: Snape teaches P.E.
Author: Kivessa
Summary: What happens when Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry decides to start physical education classes and Professor Snape is chosen to run them?
~~~
Chapter one: The Announcement
It was the first day of school and the returning students were just coming into the great hall for the start of the term banquet.
"Ah Professor Snape," remarked the old school's headmaster "looking forward to the new year?"
'No' thought Snape but politely answered that he was.
Professor Dumbledore smiled as if he heard Snape's private thought and looked at him with a knowing glint in his eye. "Oh I think you'll find many things to look forward to this year Severus."
"What do you mean headmaster?"
"Your new position of course!" Dumbledore answered. But before Severus Snape could inquire more the first year sorting ceremony began.
As the new names were read aloud and the trembling first years were subjected to the painless Sorting Hat procedure. Professor Severus Snape was having a hard time containing himself.
"Finally," he thought, "the Defense Against Dark Arts job is mine!"
Noticing the unmistakable smile upon the otherwise sour Potion's master, Harry Potter and his two friends whispered possibilities to each other.
"Maybe he's got a girlfriend." Harry remarked aloud
Ron sputtered into his pudding and nearly fell off his chair. "Who would like that greasy haired git anyway?"
"You two!" scolded Hermione, "Think about it, what would be the one thing that would make Snape really happy at the start of the term banquet?"
"Harry getting expelled?" offered Ron.
"NO! Snape must've gotten the DADA position." Hermione exclaimed and many heads turned.
"Uh oh" said Seamus
"He'll be unbearable," moaned Neville.
"Actually..." Harry interrupted "he might be friendlier." He said and looked around at the sea of confused Gryffindor faces, "don't you see?" he continued, "Snape always wanted it and he's partly bitter because he's been beaten out of it for so long. He might not be as bitter and resentful if he gets the position!"
Murmurs of assent rose among the Gryffindors and the once miserable looking faces brightened as they hoped for the best.
News of the possible position appointment soon spread throughout the entire hall and there wasn't a single Hogwarts student who didn't think otherwise. Even the Slytherins agreed with this.
Just then Professor Dumbledore rose to address the students and a hush fell upon the hall. "May I have your attention please." He said, "I regret to inform you the Professor Moody will not be teaching Defense Against Dark Arts this year and we have appointed another extremely qualified person to take his place."
You could hear a pin drop in the hall... and Professor Snape held his breath.
"But before I announce his successor... I have another announcement."
Snape groaned
"...Recent studies show that Hogwarts students aren't as physically healthy as they should be. Especially considering that only 28 students actually participate in a sport. Therefore we have decided to implement a physical education course similar to that of muggle schools that you will all be required to take."
All the muggle-borns groaned and protested loudly. The students from wizarding families had varied reactions. Most looked bewildered or curious while the Slytherins looked angry.
"I am required to take a course that muggles take?!" protested Draco Malfoy "My father will hear of this!" but he was not heard over the din of the other students.
The other professors looked intrigued at this idea. None of them were told about this new course.
Professor Dumbledore stood quietly as he waited for the noise to die down again. Severus Snape who was on edge with eagerness to hear that he was the new DADA professor, roared at the students to be silent.
'The sooner he's finished announcing this nonsense the sooner he can announce my new position!' he thought smiling to himself.
"As I was saying," said Dumbledore as the students settled down "obviously we will need someone to teach this semester course..."
The professors all looked at each other nervously... all except Snape of course
"...I'm sure you'll all give your new P.E. teacher Professor Snape a hand for graciously volunteering for this new position!"
Title: Snape teaches P.E.
Author: Kivessa
Summary: What happens when Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry decides to start physical education classes and Professor Snape is chosen to run them?
~~~
Chapter one: The Announcement
It was the first day of school and the returning students were just coming into the great hall for the start of the term banquet.
"Ah Professor Snape," remarked the old school's headmaster "looking forward to the new year?"
'No' thought Snape but politely answered that he was.
Professor Dumbledore smiled as if he heard Snape's private thought and looked at him with a knowing glint in his eye. "Oh I think you'll find many things to look forward to this year Severus."
"What do you mean headmaster?"
"Your new position of course!" Dumbledore answered. But before Severus Snape could inquire more the first year sorting ceremony began.
As the new names were read aloud and the trembling first years were subjected to the painless Sorting Hat procedure. Professor Severus Snape was having a hard time containing himself.
"Finally," he thought, "the Defense Against Dark Arts job is mine!"
Noticing the unmistakable smile upon the otherwise sour Potion's master, Harry Potter and his two friends whispered possibilities to each other.
"Maybe he's got a girlfriend." Harry remarked aloud
Ron sputtered into his pudding and nearly fell off his chair. "Who would like that greasy haired git anyway?"
"You two!" scolded Hermione, "Think about it, what would be the one thing that would make Snape really happy at the start of the term banquet?"
"Harry getting expelled?" offered Ron.
"NO! Snape must've gotten the DADA position." Hermione exclaimed and many heads turned.
"Uh oh" said Seamus
"He'll be unbearable," moaned Neville.
"Actually..." Harry interrupted "he might be friendlier." He said and looked around at the sea of confused Gryffindor faces, "don't you see?" he continued, "Snape always wanted it and he's partly bitter because he's been beaten out of it for so long. He might not be as bitter and resentful if he gets the position!"
Murmurs of assent rose among the Gryffindors and the once miserable looking faces brightened as they hoped for the best.
News of the possible position appointment soon spread throughout the entire hall and there wasn't a single Hogwarts student who didn't think otherwise. Even the Slytherins agreed with this.
Just then Professor Dumbledore rose to address the students and a hush fell upon the hall. "May I have your attention please." He said, "I regret to inform you the Professor Moody will not be teaching Defense Against Dark Arts this year and we have appointed another extremely qualified person to take his place."
You could hear a pin drop in the hall... and Professor Snape held his breath.
"But before I announce his successor... I have another announcement."
Snape groaned
"...Recent studies show that Hogwarts students aren't as physically healthy as they should be. Especially considering that only 28 students actually participate in a sport. Therefore we have decided to implement a physical education course similar to that of muggle schools that you will all be required to take."
All the muggle-borns groaned and protested loudly. The students from wizarding families had varied reactions. Most looked bewildered or curious while the Slytherins looked angry.
"I am required to take a course that muggles take?!" protested Draco Malfoy "My father will hear of this!" but he was not heard over the din of the other students.
The other professors looked intrigued at this idea. None of them were told about this new course.
Professor Dumbledore stood quietly as he waited for the noise to die down again. Severus Snape who was on edge with eagerness to hear that he was the new DADA professor, roared at the students to be silent.
'The sooner he's finished announcing this nonsense the sooner he can announce my new position!' he thought smiling to himself.
"As I was saying," said Dumbledore as the students settled down "obviously we will need someone to teach this semester course..."
The professors all looked at each other nervously... all except Snape of course
"...I'm sure you'll all give your new P.E. teacher Professor Snape a hand for graciously volunteering for this new position!"