A/N: I don't know why exactly, but music seems to inspire me a lot - and this story is no exception. It's based on the song "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You", by Kellie Pickler. I'd like to dedicate this story to my two favorite authors here, KURRENT and HEIR OF ZAMMITELU. I hope you all like it :)
Standard Disclaimers apply - I own nothing
HANNAH MONTANA
"DIDN'T YOU KNOW"
Miley Stewart, sometimes known as Hannah Montana, lay on her bed, staring aimlessly out her bedroom window. A cool breeze blew gently across the room, a welcome respite from yet another hot summer day in Malibu. It made little difference to Miley, though; she could barely feel the heat, much less the cooling breeze, and she really didn't care one way or another. The only thing she could feel was the pain of her broken heart.
In a way, it was kind of ironic. Miley had always heard people talking about broken hearts and what they felt like. She'd heard songs, like the kind her father became famous singing, about the crippling pain of broken hearts, but she'd always though they were exaggerating or just plain making things up. It wasn't until she experienced it herself that she finally realized just how devastating it really was… and she really had no one to blame but herself.
"Oh, Lilly," Miley whispered sadly to herself. "Why did you have to leave?"
"Are you okay, Lilly-Bear?" Miley asked carefully. She had noticed her best friend had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since school let out. Lilly looked over at her, her eyes filled with uncertainty. She dreaded having to tell Miley the truth, but she also knew she couldn't lie.
"Miley… I have to tell you something." The fearful tone of Lilly's voice sent a chill up Miley's spine. She gently squeezed Lilly's hand, already held tightly in her own.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me," she said gently. Lilly swallowed and turned away, unable to face Miley as she delivered the terrible news.
"I have to move," she said quietly. Miley felt like she'd been punched in the gut. She wanted to believe she'd heard wrong, but she knew she hadn't. Her throat constricted, and no words would come.
"Miley?" Lilly asked, worried at her best friend's sudden silence. "Miley, please say something!"
"Why?" was all Miley could manage. Lilly hung her head.
"Mom…got a job in another city. Some place called Richmond." She looked up at Miley, tears in her eyes.
"I don't want to go, I swear!" she wailed. Miley swallowed.
"I know you don't," she said quietly.
"What about us, Miley? What about our friendship? I don't want to lose you!" Miley finally met Lilly's tearful gaze, and had to fight to keep herself from crying as well.
"You won't," Miley said carefully. "I promise. A little distance can't keep good friends apart." Her voice and demeanor were calm, but inside she was anything but; she wanted to scream, to cry, to grab onto Lilly and refuse to let her go, but instead she did nothing. Partly, she just didn't want to upset herself or Lilly any more than they already were. There was another part of her though, that just couldn't seem to process what was happening at all; as though admitting she was going to lose Lilly would somehow bring it about, and cause her heart to shatter into a million pieces… and so that part of her retreated from the terrible truth in panicked desperation.
"Is that all you can say?" Lilly replied, upset at Miley's apparent lack of concern.
"What do you want me to say, Lils?" Miley responded sadly. "You know I don't want you to go." She felt the tears she'd been fighting so hard against begin to trickle down her cheeks.
"Then how come you're so calm, and I'm the one getting hysterical?!" Lilly practically shrieked.
"I can't, Lilly," Miley whispered, fighting to stay in control of her raging emotions. "I just can't. If I start to cry… I may not stop." She reached out with a trembling hand to gently brush a dangling curl of blonde hair away from Lilly's face.
"You know I love you, Lilly. I always will."
"Miley…" Her best friend's name was all Lilly could get out before she collapsed into Miley's arms, sobs shaking her body. Miley held her close, running her hands slowly up and down Lilly's back. Closing her eyes, she buried her face in Lilly's long blonde hair and let the world slowly fade away until nothing remained but the beautiful young woman in her arms and the grief they shared.
A few minutes passed, and Lilly's sobs finally began to subside. Without really knowing why, Miley reached down and slid two fingers beneath Lilly's chin, slowly lifting her best friend's face towards her own. Their eyes met, their gazes locking together. For a brief moment, Miley wondered how she had never before noticed the amazing blue color of Lilly's eyes. Heart beating wildly, Miley began to run her thumb slowly back and forth across Lilly's chin.
"Lilly?" she squeaked out.
"Y-yeah, Miles?" Lilly whispered back.
"Lilly, I…" Suddenly, words just didn't seem to be enough to communicate everything Miley wanted to tell the blonde haired young woman who had come to mean so much to her. Where words failed, perhaps actions would succeed. Miley leaned forward and brushed her lips gently against Lilly's.
"M-Miley! W-what are you…?!"
"Lils, I… I just want…" Lilly cut off Miley's stammering with a gentle finger against her lips. Whatever Miley's explanation was, it suddenly didn't matter. She knew what she'd felt when Miley kissed her, and she wanted to feel it again.
"Never mind," she whispered breathlessly, "Just kiss me again." Their lips joined again, and all the world fell away around them…
--
When the morning sun rose into the sky, it found two best friends still clinging to their first embrace as lovers. Lilly and Miley lay together in Miley's bed, wrapped in each other's arms. Lilly snuggled contentedly against Miley's side, running her fingers through her best friend's long, curly auburn hair.
"Morning," Miley purred.
"Morning back," Lilly replied warmly. "I can't believe… what we did, Miles."
"Do you regret it?" Miley asked carefully.
"No," Lilly said with a smile. "Not for a moment. It's just… Miles, what does this mean for us now?"
"What do you want it to mean?" Miley asked her. Lilly couldn't help but laugh.
"Do you always answer a question with another question?" she teased. Miley grinned.
"Why, does it bother you?" she quipped. Lilly shook her head, still smiling. Then she grew serious.
"Come on, Miles… no more jokes. We're not just best friends anymore, are we?"
"Definitely not in normal best friend territory anymore, that's for sure," Miley responded, running a finger slowly down Lilly's bare shoulder. "I just couldn't let you leave… without you knowing how much I care about you."
"So what do we do now?" Lilly asked, shivering at Miley's touch. Miley swallowed.
"I… I don't know, Lils. Everything's happening so fast…" She swallowed.
"I wish you didn't have to leave."
"I know," Lilly said sadly. "I wish I could stay here in this bed with you forever…"
"But you can't," Miley whispered, feeling her eyes grow moist again.
"Please don't make me feel guilty," Lilly pleaded with her, taking Miley's hand in her own. "You know I don't have a choice…" Miley nodded but didn't trust herself to speak right away. Finally, she forced an uneasy smile onto her face.
"All right, no more tears," Miley she said softly, squeezing Lilly's hand. "We can't change the future, however much it's gonna hurt, so we just have to accept it… so what if today is the only time we're gonna have together? We just have to make the time we have left be extra special." She swallowed.
"So before I let you go, Lilly Truscott, I wanna make love to you one last time." Her eyes flashed, and Lilly felt the breath leave her.
"Eeep!" was all she could get out before Miley captured her lips in another passionate kiss…
It had been two months since Lilly moved away, and every moment since had been heart-wrenching for Miley. She'd never thought it possible to miss someone so much – not counting her late mother – and she knew exactly why she felt the way she did. Even though they'd only had one night together, she couldn't deny what she was feeling: Miley knew she had fallen in love with her best friend Lilly Truscott.
At that moment Miley heard a soft knock on her bedroom door, startling her out of her sad thoughts. She knew who it was without even having to ask.
"Come in, daddy," she said softly. The bedroom door opened slowly to reveal her father, Robbie Ray Stewart, holding a plate of food in one hand.
"Hey, bud," he greeted his daughter carefully. "I thought you might be hungry, so I brought you some dinner."
"I'm really not hungry, daddy," Miley replied quietly. Robbie Ray sighed sadly.
"You've hardly eaten anything the last few days, bud," he replied, setting the plate down on Miley's dresser. "I'm worried about you."
"I'm sorry daddy, it's just… it hurts so much…" A single tear began to trickle down her cheek.
"Tell me what's bothering you, baby girl," Robbie Ray said softly. "I hate seeing you like this." When Miley didn't reply right away, he decided to take a guess.
"Is this about Lilly?" he asked carefully. "I know how much you miss her…" Miley shook her head.
"You don't understand, daddy… it feels like someone's torn a part of my heart out!" she wailed. Her tears flowed freely now. "I miss her so much I can't stand it…" Robbie Ray was momentarily taken aback by his daughter's raw outpouring of grief and hurt. Somehow, someway, he had a feeling he knew what was behind it.
"Miles, sweetheart… you're not just missing Lilly as a friend, are you?" he asked her slowly but delicately. Miley sniffled.
"Daddy… I think I need to tell you something." She looked up at her father, her eyes filled with sadness and hesitation. Robbie Ray could see the emotions clearly in his daughter's face, and he rested his hand gently on top of hers.
"You know you can tell me anything, bud," he said gently. "I'll always listen."
"It's… about Lilly," Miley began. Robbie Ray nodded knowingly.
"I figured as much," he responded. "You've been up here like this ever since she left."
"You don't understand, daddy," Miley said quietly. "I think… I'm in love with her." Miley found herself unable to look her daddy in the eye when she voiced the truth she'd barely been able to admit to herself.
"Why do you say that?" Robbie Ray asked, his expression of loving concern never wavering. Miley swallowed.
"We were… together… the night before she moved away," Miley said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I just wanted to find a special way to say goodbye her. One thing led to another… and it just happened." She sucked in a ragged breath.
"I'm sorry, daddy. You must be so disappointed in me."
"For what?" Robbie Ray replied gently. "Being human?" When Miley didn't respond, he reached up and began to slowly stroke his beloved daughter's long auburn hair.
"Miley Ray Stewart, look at me," Robbie Ray said softly. Finally, almost painfully, Miley did so. Her eyes shone with unshed tears.
"Bud, I've known how you felt about her for a long time. I'm just surprised it took you this long to realize it." Miley blinked.
"You… you knew?" she stammered. Robbie Ray nodded.
"I'm not blind, bud," he said with a grin. "You two were always close."
"So you're… okay with it, daddy? I mean, with me being in love with another girl?"
"As long as I don't have to hear any details," Robbie Ray joked. "Seriously though, the only thing I've wanted for my little girl is for her to find someone who would love her and take care of her – and I believe Lilly would do both." For possibly the first time since Lilly left, Miley felt herself smile.
"Thank you, daddy… I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, bud; I love you, and I want you to be happy. If Lilly makes you happy, then that's all I need to know." Miley wrapped her arms around her father in a fierce, tearful hug.
"I love you too, daddy… so much," she whispered. Robbie Ray smiled into the embrace, gently running his hand up and down his daughter's back. After a few moments they parted and Miley paused to wipe away her tears.
"I just wish Lilly was still here," Miley said sadly. "I should've told her how I felt before." Robbie Ray reached out to tuck a stray strand of auburn hair behind his beloved daughter's ear, smiling gently as he did so.
"Well bud, there's nothin' we can do about the past… but maybe we can give you a shot at the future you deserve." Miley looked puzzled.
"What are you saying, daddy?" she asked him quietly. Robbie Ray grinned.
"I'm saying – maybe we should pay Lilly a visit."
Two hours later, Miley and her father were on their way to Richmond to visit Lilly and her mom. Miley still couldn't believe her daddy was doing all this for her, but he'd made it clear he wanted to see her smile again, and he was willing to do whatever it took to make it happen.
"Thank you daddy," she said softly. "You didn't have to do all this…"
"Sure I did, bud," Robbie Ray said with a smile. "Daddies are supposed to make their little girls smile… it's part of the job." Miley chuckled.
"Okay, daddy; whatever you say!" She gave him a little peck on the cheek.
"See, this job has great benefits too," Robbie Ray quipped. Miley smiled and shook her head in amusement.
"I love you too, daddy." She turned away then to look out the window of her father's pickup truck, the wind blowing through her long chestnut hair. Her thoughts drifted to Lilly once again, and the bittersweet moments of their one night together…
--
I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind?
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am trying to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart
--
Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you…
--
"You okay, bud?" Robbie Ray asked, noticing how quiet Miley had become. Miley nodded distantly.
"Yeah; I was just… thinking."
"About Lilly?" Robbie Ray guessed.
"Daddy… what if she doesn't feel the same way I do?"
"Trust me bud, she does. I told you, I've seen the way you two look at each other." Miley blushed politely.
"Isn't there some law against teasing your daughter about her love life?" she playfully complained.
"Never even crossed my mind," Robbie Ray retorted, playing along.
--
I can't get you out of my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone
You couldn't be more gone
From falling apart to fighting mad
From wanting you back to not giving a damn
I've felt it all
Been to the wall
--
Didn't know you how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you…
Miley fidgeted nervously as she stood on the porch of Lilly's new house, waiting anxiously for someone to answer the door. Finally the door opened, to reveal the stunned face of Lilly Truscott.
"M-Miley?" she stammered, a smile threatening to split her face in two.
"Hey Lils," Miley replied quietly. "Bet I was the last person you were expectin' to see, huh?" Lilly didn't respond; instead, she practically launched herself into Miley's arms, squeezing her in a strong hug.
"I missed you so much!" Lilly whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I missed you too," Miley whispered back, feeling tears dampen her own face. Reluctantly, she pulled partially out of the embrace so she could look Lilly in the face.
"I need to talk to you," Miley said simply.
"Guess it must be important, to get your dad to drive you all the way here, huh?" Lilly teased. She looked up at Robbie Ray then. "Hey, Mr. S," she greeted him with a radiant smile.
"Hey, Lilly; how are you, girl?"
"Much better now," Lilly answered honestly.
"Come on," Miley said, grabbing Lilly's hand and leading her outside. "We need to talk." Robbie Ray nodded at them and smiled.
"Think I'll just go say hi to Heather for a bit," he excused himself politely. Once he was gone, Miley turned back to Lilly.
"I really need to tell you something Lils, and I need you to just let me get it out, okay?" Miley began. Lilly nodded.
"I'm listening," she said carefully. Miley drew in a breath.
"Lilly, do you… do you remember our last night together?" she asked slowly.
"Are you kidding?" Lilly retorted playfully. "Only ever night since, in my dreams…" Miley blushed.
"Me too, Lils; me too…" She swallowed and lowered her head.
"I should never have let you go," she said quietly. Lilly blinked, caught slightly off guard. "I shouldn't have said what I did."
"Miley… you know I didn't…"
"Lilly, I love you!" Miley cut her off, unable to contain the emotions any longer. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, ever since you left… it's like someone took a part of my heart…" Lilly stopped with a gentle finger on her lips.
"I love you too, Miley," she said quietly, a beautiful smile lighting up her face. "I always have, and I always will."
"Y-you do?" Miley stammered, her heart hammering in her chest as her hopes soared.
"More than I've ever loved anyone," Lilly answered solemnly. "You don't know how long I've wanted to tell you that. Especially after…" She blushed, but Miley knew what she was referring to.
"That was the best night of my life," Miley said with heartfelt emotion. "You know what was even better though?"
"What's that?" Lilly asked quietly.
"Waking up with you in my arms," Miley whispered shyly. "I wish I could wake up like that every day for the rest of my life." Lilly was stunned speechless by Miley's tender admission. Joyous tears began to fill her eyes.
"Oh, Miley…" was all she could get out. Miley pulled her close and kissed her gently on her forehead.
"I love you, Lilly Truscott… so much." She punctuated her words by leaning in to capture Lilly's lips in a gentle kiss. Lilly returned the kiss, wrapping her arms tightly around Miley.
"I'm not gonna let you go this time," she whispered to the beautiful blonde tomboy who had captured her heart.
"Miley… you know I want to be with you too," Lilly said carefully, her raging emotions making such words difficult, "more than anything, but we still live in two different cities, hours away…"
"We might be able to fix that," Robbie Ray's friendly voice cut in. Lilly nearly jumped out of her skin and pulled away from Miley. Miley refused to let her go completely though.
"It's okay," she said quietly to the woman she loved. "Daddy knows, and he's okay with it." She looked over at her father.
"We're gonna have to work on your timing though, dad," she said with a smirk.
"I hope you'll forgive your old daddy just this once," Robbie Ray replied with a grin. "Especially since I'm bringin' good news." Miley arched an eyebrow.
"What kinda news daddy?" she asked him.
"Well, Lilly's mom and I were talking, and she told me how much Lilly wants to finish her senior year at Seaview High back in Malibu. So, we thought she might be agreeable to staying with the Stewart clan until she graduates." Miley's eyes widened.
"That is, if she wants to," Robbie Ray finished with a grin.
"Daddy, I…!" Miley looked quickly back at Lilly, a huge grin on her face.
"Lilly, did you hear that?!" Lilly smiled and nodded.
"I heard it, Miles… I'm not deaf," she said playfully. "Mom, Mr. S… are you really serious about this?" Both parents nodded.
"I know how miserable you've been without Miley, sweetheart," Heather Truscott said softly. "I have to admit, I never expected your relationship to become quite what it has, but… I want you to be happy, Lilly. If Miley makes you happy, then I couldn't be happier for both of you." Lilly walked over to her mother and hugged her warmly.
"I love you, mom," she whispered.
"I love you too, baby," Heather Truscott said softly. "You just better make sure you call me at least once a week, you got that young lady?" Lilly nodded.
"I promise, mom." Grinning, she raced back over to Miley.
"I can't believe this, Miles! We're gonna be roommates!" she exclaimed excitedly. Miley leaned towards her until their foreheads were touching.
"We're gonna be together," she said softly, smiling. Lilly smiled back.
"Always," she responded. "I'll always be right by your side. I promise, I'll never leave you again." Miley blinked back still more joyful tears.
"Kiss me," she breathed.
"Uh, Miley… our parents are kinda still watching?" Lilly reminded her.
"I'm not askin' you to take me on your front lawn, silly," Miley retorted, causing Lilly to blush fiercely. "I just want the woman I love to kiss me. I don't think our parents will be struck blind by one little display of affection between us, do you?" Lilly smirked.
"I guess your dad better get used to it anyway," she said teasingly. Then she pulled Miley to her and kissed her with all the love she felt in her heart…