Wow, does it feel weird to be writing again! Anyway, this is a long (at least by my standards) fanfic for a couple of adorable little books called The Slightly True Story of Cedar B. Hartley and The Slightly Buised Story of Cedar B. Hartley. I know that this type of writing is very un-me, but I think that's aprt of the reason why I absolutely adore these books. They're so basic but have a fantastic plot line and very realistic and lovable characters. No I'm not a salesman (but do you think I;d be good at it?) but seriously if you see these books, read them! You'll like them!

If you have already read the books that this is based on, you don't need to read the following, just go straight on to the story

Anyway, just to set the scene a bit, basically Cedar is a 13 year old girl with an older brother (Barnaby), a single Mum and a dog called Stinky. Kite is her new and first boyfriend. Cedar and kite started being friends when her dog wetn missing and he found it, then she found out that he was an acrobat of types and togetehr they learnt a whole lot of circus tricks from his Dad (Ruben). Then Cedar's best friend (Caramella) and Kite's friend who fell off a clothesline and got brain damage (Oscar) joined them and they made a mini-circus troupe (The Acrobrats) and performed to raise moeny for Cedar's neighbour's (Ricci's) dog (Bambi) to get a life saving operation. Then, Kite and Ruben leave Brunswick (a suburd in Melbourne, Australia where the books set) to join The Fantasic Flying Fruit Flies (a professional circus) in Albury (also in Aus, on the border of NSW and VIC). Cedar gets angry at Kite for leaving (she likes him, duh), but eventually restarts the Acrobrats (which had broke up when kite left) with a bunch of refugees who go to the Fitzroy Learning Centre (a charity which helps refugees to adapt to Australian society). The circus that Kite is in holds auditions and Cedar goes to them and gets in. She doesn't accept the positions however because she feels too attached to the new Acrobrats. Kite and her sort out their feelings and agree to start going out. This story begins at exactly the point where the second book (The Slightly Bruised Story-) ends - Kite has just arrived at the station at Brunswick and he and Cedar are kissing.

Characters: Cedar- the main character, the books are all told from her point of view (in 1st person), she has red hair and is skinny, she is usually confident but admits to actually being quite shy about some things (like being with Kite who she feels is too good for her). Kite- described as handsome with brown hair and brown eyes and tanned skin, he doesn't care what other people think of how he looks but gets nervous sometimes, is very good at acrobatics, is sometimes described as being like a bird (in Cedar's mind). Barnaby- easy-going, Cedar's older brother (early twenties), likes to tease her about everything. Caramella- Cedar's best friend, shy, quiet, usually keeps to herself. Oscar- acquired a brain injury when he fell attempting a circus trick on a clothes line, he isn't mental he's just different. Inisiya- A refugee from Afghanistan (sp?), a friend of Cedar's. Nidal- Inisiya's friend. Lola and Frankie- girls about Cedar's age in The Fantastic Flying Fruit Fly Circus, Cedar thought Kite liked Lola but he actually liked Frankie. In the end he chose Cedar over her anyway.

Kite and me didn't spend too long at the station once we'd finished kissing. This was for two reasons: because we had other, more worthwhile, places to go and thing to do, and because my mum might start to get worried if I as gone for too long. Plus, I was meant to be at the Fitzroy Learning Network in the back room in an hour to meet up with the Acrobrats and introduce everyone to Kite.

So me and Kite walked back to my house quickly, only stopping when I walked along a wall that started going up and up and up until it was so far off the ground that my feet were high above Kite's head and the wall ended and I didn't want to jump down because it was too far and I was worried about breaking my ankle like Hoody Mott did jumping from the hedge which I don't think was as high as this wall was. Kite just laughed at me and told that he knew I'd be fine if I jumped down so I did and I was fine like he said. I still made him promise not to tell Mum that I'd jumped though because she'd be worried. He laughed at me again but promised anyway.

When we got to my house, Ricci came stumbling up to us from across the road holding Bambi and she came right up to Kite and hugged him. I could see Bambi between them and he didn't look very happy at being squashed between Kite and Ricci but they stopped hugging pretty quickly so then Bambi was okay.

'You're back!' Ricci screeched in her usual way and Kite blushed and looked embarrassed and muttered something about how he was only here for a while to see me.

Then Ricci said, 'Of course you see Cedar, she very pretty now,' and that made me blush too even though I knew it was sort of true because I definitely looked a lot older now than I had last year when me and Kite had first met. But once Ricci left again and we started along the path to my front door Kite put his arm around my shoulders like a proper boyfriend and smiled at me in a way that made me know that he really did think I was pretty, but not necessarily any more pretty than I'd been before.

At the door I knocked on it politely, hoping that Mum would come and open it and see me and Kite standing there like a real couple. Only I was a bit disappointed when instead Barnaby opened the door and told me to stop knocking because it was annoying him.

'Oh, hey Kite. What are you doing here?' he asked, once he'd let us in and Kite was sitting at the kitchen table with Barnaby and I was looking through the cupboards for a clean glass for some water for me because it was hot outside and I'd been waiting at the station for a while before Kite had arrived and I'd gotten thirsty during our walk home.

'It's Christmas holidays at school so Dad said I could come stay here for a while,' Kite answered all casually as if he hadn't chosen to stop training with his big-time circus just to come here and see his girlfriend. And to catch up with Caramella and Oscar who he hadn't spoken to (except through me) since he moved to Albury. And, of course, to meet the new Acrobrats who'd joined his old circus troupe.

'So it's all been organised with Mum and Cedy?" Barnaby asked, talking about me as if I wasn't there which he does sometimes just to annoy me.

'Yeah. Dad organised it all with your Mum.'

Barnaby made a sort of shrugging movement that made me know that he was ticked off that he hadn't been told about this big plan and I had. I smiled teasingly at him as he left the kitchen. Even though I don't like to gloat, it's still always nice when I know something that Barnaby doesn't. And he always teases me about him knowing stuff that I don't know, so I don't think it counts as gloating for me to tease him back now.

Once Barnaby had left I sat down at the table opposite Kite, sipping my glass of water and looking at him as he looked around the kitchen. Maybe he was seeing if anything had changed since he'd last been here. For a moment I considered saying something a little bit mean about how long it had been since he been here and hadn't so much changed, but really nothing had changed and I wasn't in the mood for making anyone feel bad, least of all Kite, right now anyway.

Eventually he finished looking around and his gaze fell on me and he smiled his slow smile at me and I felt that funny feeling in my tummy, which I now knew was love, and smiled back. Then Kite reached across the table and took my hand which had been lying next to my glass of water and he twisted our fingers together so they all went through or over or under each other.

Then he said, 'I've really missed you, Cedar,' and the way he said reminded me of when he'd said 'I really like you, Cedar' all that time ago when we were kissing on his veranda steps. I smiled again, but not a big grin just a sort of small smile which I felt meant much more than the biggest grin could mean because it was so much more significant and meaningful and it felt right. Really right. The type of right-ness that I used to feel when me and Kite did double balances and I couldn't imagine doing them with anyone else and I just knew that if I tried it would never feel quite as right as it did doing them with him. Maybe that was how it felt to be in love.

But then the moment was broken when Mum suddenly came barging into the kitchen looking rushed because she had said to me that she'd be home earlier so she could be there when Kite arrived but of course she hadn't been because she'd been held up at work. She stopped when she saw Kite and me and our moment, which had already been ruined so wasn't really a moment anymore.

'Oh,' she said, sounding rushed. Kite quickly let go of my hand and got out of his seat quickly but smoothly and asked if he could help her with something because her arms were full of bags with shopping and stuff in them.

A few minutes later Mum and Kite and me were all sitting together in the lounge room (which we hardly ever sit in because Mum doesn't want it to get dirty) eating lamingtons which Mum had bought for us to have for lunch as a treat. Mum and Kite talked for ages about the circus he was at and how that was going for him and if he was enjoying it and if Ruben liked his job there as a trainer and if it seemed like they'd be going anywhere or doing something interesting any time soon. I just sat on the couch next to Kite and listened because I was interested too but it didn't really seem like a conversation that a girl would have with her boyfriend or even that I'd have with Kite even if he wasn't my boyfriend and we were still just friends like before. I didn't really think it would be a good idea for me to do anything too different to how I acted around Kite before he was my boyfriend in front of my mum in case she started getting all funny about us spending time together especially in the back room at the Fitzroy Learning Centre because, let's face it, there wasn't exactly an enormous amount of adult supervision there because all the adults were always too busy doing something more useful than supervising a bunch of yelling, screaming, laughing, circus-trick-attempting kids. I think I as the only one of those kids, or in my case teenagers, with a boyfriend though. But still, it wasn't like me and Kite were going to do anything even mildly worthy of being prevented from doing because after all I am only 13 and there are some things – like certain things that I used to see Barnaby doing with Laura Pinkstone on the exact same couch that me and Kite are now sitting on – that I just wouldn't do and even though I'm not sure if Kite would do them – we never really talk about stuff like that – I am sure that if he knew I didn't want to do them then he wouldn't make me. He's nice like that.

So me and Kite just sat next to each other on the couch. We didn't even hold hands. I just sort of smiled at him in that loving-girlfriend way and every so often he'd glance away from Mum and smile back at me too.

Barnaby even came in near the end of one of Kite's stories to listen for a while, but once Kite had finished that particular story (about a show they'd done up in Sydney to help raise money for the world trip that a few of them might be doing later in the year) Barnaby turned to Mum and said, 'David called from your work and said that they really need you to go back in later today to help with some guy called Phil, I told him that you'd call back.'

Then Barnaby waited for an answer and Mum sighed and told us that she'd better go and see what they needed and that it was good to see Kite and would he like to go out to dinner tonight as a welcome back treat? He said yes and watched Mum go. Barnaby looked between me and Kite for a second and then said that he better go too because we'd probably want some 'alone time' together and I knew he meant 'alone time' not alone time (and yes, the two are different) because he raised his eyebrows and made it sound all significant and bad before winking at me once and leaving.

Now that we were alone again I started to feel awkward and I was about to suggest that we should go because we'd be meeting up with The Acrobrats soon, but Kite stopped me talking by suddenly kissing me. At first I as surprised but it was such as nice kiss that I let him kiss me for a bit longer before pulling away and asking him why he did that. He looked a bit embarrassed and I could see hat he was starting to blush so I quickly kissed him again and told him it was okay – well, actually much better than okay, but I didn't say that – and I was just wondering why he'd done it.

'Like I said, I've just really, really missed you. It's weird, being at a circus and doing everything that I've ever wanted to do,' he began, and I could tell that a big speech was coming up and I was sort of excited because Kite never really gives big speeches but I tried not to show it. 'Because even when I'm on the trapeze or something-' (at this point I thought of Frankie and tried desperately not to let the tiny little spurt of jealousy that had appeared become any more than that) '-and it feels amazing – like I'm flying – it doesn't feel as good as it used to when we used to play around together doing our acrobatics and stuff.'

I guess I was a little bit offended, because I didn't think that what we'd used to do with The Acrobrats was 'playing around' at all, because it had felt real, but apart from that I couldn't help feeling sort of proud that even if he thought it was 'playing around' (which I really hoped it didn't) Kite had more fun with me than he did with everyone else and all that top quality equipment and everything that he had at his circus in Albury. So I smiled again, this time a really big smile, and leant forward to kiss him again because I felt like I had to thank him for saying something so big to me which he'd obviously thought about a lot.

Caramella let out a little squeal and came running over to me and Kite when we arrived at the back room to already see it all set up and full of people practising their handstands and juggling and tumbling and everything that we'd taught them. Because Caramella hardly ever squeals or anything like that, everyone looked up and went really still at seeing me standing there in the door holding the hand of a person who was very obviously Kite (who everyone had heard an awful lot about from me and Caramella and Oscar telling them all about). Inisiya gave me a big smile because she knew how much I'd liked Kite and she'd been really happy for me when I'd finally told her that we were going out (not literally, because we hadn't exactly been on a proper date yet, but you know, that's just sort of the phrase that people use). I smiled a bit but it was more of an awkward smile than a happy smile because I could tell that Kite was a bit nervous at having all of these people who he didn't know staring at him like he was a God, which is why I was actually happy when Inisiya called out 'Wow Cedar he is cute!' and everyone laughed and the tension broke.

Kite blushed and looked down and I let go of his hand and motioned for Oscar to come over because he was standing against the wall staring at kite as if he couldn't quite work out why he was there.

'You're in Paris.' Oscar said very clearly and with a bit of indignation in his voice when he finally came over to Kite. Kite looked up at him and smiled a bit but he still looked nervous and then he said, 'no I'm not.'

'Yes,' Oscar replied, still sounding annoyed.

'Because he's here," Caramella said, sounding happy and excited. And, just in the second that she said that I suddenly tuned out from all of the laughing and the talking in the background and it was as if the whole world had just shrunk to the four of us standing in a little circle talking as if it was another day in Kite's garage practising for the benefit for Bambi's operation. The moment was so extreme and vivid that I felt tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of it. Quickly, so that I wouldn't start crying properly and look like a baby, it tuned myself back in to the rest of the world and to what Oscar as saying.

'-making pies for breakfast.'

'You don't eat pies for breakfast,' I pointed out, still not entirely sure hat we were talking about.

'Maybe you do in Paris,' Oscar said. 'But I don't know because Kite isn't in Paris.'

Caramella laughed and I did too. Kite rolled his eyes and chuckled a bit to himself.

'Maybe I'll go to Paris next year,' he said, just to make Oscar happy.

'Maybe.' Oscar agreed and then smiled and walked away to stand against the wall again like he'd been doing before.

'Hey Kite,' Caramella said once Oscar had left and we'd both stopped laughing. 'Why don't you and Cedar show everyone some of your double-balances so that The Acrobrast can have at go at some of them?'

'Yeah!' I agreed, probably more enthusiastic than I would be if she'd suggested anyone else to demonstrate. It felt like it had been so long since Kite and I had practised double-balances together. In fact, it had been a long time.

Kite looked sort of doubtful, like he wasn't sure about doing double balances with me in front of all these people. 'I don't know. It's sort of been a while since me and Cedar have worked together…' he muttered, trailing off at the end.

Caramella laughed. 'I'm sure you'll be better than our demonstrations, they're not very good.' I laughed too because she was right and because I'd realised that Kite was nervous because he didn't think he'd be good enough to impress all of these people. So, even as Kite was shaking his head and looking down because he felt weird being here in a group that he'd help created surrounded by people he didn't know, I went up on my tippee-toes and whispered in his ear, 'please? It's been so long since we've done this, and the Acrobrats will really, really like it.'

He looked at me, turning his head so that our faces were almost touching. I knew how he felt, and I knew why he didn't want to do anything. It was like how I'd felt when I'd gone to The Flying fruit Fly Circus and I'd sat in the training gym for hours just watched everyone else because I was worried about what they'd think of me if they saw me training. But of course I couldn't tell Kite all of this because he's a boy and he'd never understand what he was feeling anyway so no matter how well I explained what he was feeling he wouldn't think I as right. So, instead of trying to explain I just inched my face forward a tiny bit and kissed his lips really quickly.

'Please," I repeated, almost begging.

It took him a little while, but finally Kite smiled and nodded. The he kissed me again and for a second I was tempted to back out of having to perform so we could disappear and kiss a bit more (after all it was very nice), but I reminded myself of the right feeling I'd felt before and that if I ever wanted to feel it again now would be the chance. I went down off my toes and grabbed Kite's hand and tugged him out into the centre of the room and called out for everyone to be quiet so that he could show them a demonstration of hat a real acrobat was like.

An hour or so later, almost everyone had cleared out of the room, a few people dawdling to help us stack the mats or to say goodbye and congratulations to Kite and even a few to say it to me because Kite had done a few double balances with me and we'd been amazing. Inisiya was the last one left besides me and kite and she hugged us both before she left too, running to catch up with Nidal who went earlier.

And then there was just me and Kite. He pushed the last mat onto the top of the pile and then stood there leaning against them, not tired or exhausted just sort of ready for the end of the day. I walked over to him and hugged him because I was so thankful that he'd come and not been weird with the new Acrobrats and he really had been a great teacher even though a few of the younger boys had thought it would be funny to tease him (but not me because they knew that I can get scary when I'm angry) about him and me being boyfriend and girlfriend but he'd handled it fine and just said that maybe if they were ever as good at acrobats as him then they might be lucky enough to have a girlfriend like me. I know he said this because Caramella had heard and she'd thought it was so sweet that she'd rushed over and told me.

Kite sighed and then surprised me when he lifted me off the ground and turned me around and sat on the pile of mat that he'd just finished stacking, so now my head was higher than his and his eye line was about even with my mouth. I giggled a bit, but not too much because I don't giggle often and it felt weird even though I knew it was what I should do at the moment. Kite smiled my favourite smile of his. The one that is more with his eyes than with his mouth that he knows I like even though I've neve told him. He leant in quickly and kissed me on my neck lightly, just under my chin, but not in that way that boys like the boy I used to think Harold Barton was kiss girls on their neck, the sort of way that makes them look like their eating them. This kiss was soft and gentle and as if a feather was brushing over my neck. It tickled but in a warm way not in a ticklish way and I was sort of embarrassed when I felt goosebumps come up all down my arms because of the feeling it gave me. I twitched without meaning too and Kite pulled away, fixing me with his eyes. The spot where he'd kissed me still felt all warm and tingly.

Suddenly I felt nervous and when I saw Kite's smile I couldn't smile back. Actually, I didn't feel at all smiley, instead I felt nervous, like a little baby rabbit coming out of its burrow for the first time and seeing a big, scary hawk right there in front of it. Kite was the hawk. And, because of that feeling, that baby rabbit feeling, I started trembling because the baby rabbit only knew of the hawk as something that wants to kill it and eat it. The baby rabbit doesn't think that maybe the hawk wants to protect it. So, right then, I couldn't really think that Kite might want to protect me.

It was only when his eyes darkened in concern and he moved one hand up to hold the back of my neck that I remembered that I wasn't a baby rabbit and that Kite wasn't a hawk (at least not literally) and that there was no reason for me to be trembling. Still, I couldn't stop.

Kite shushed me a little, but I don't think he really knew what was wrong which as understandable seeing as I didn't know what was wrong either. It felt like I was just so overcome with the closeness and seriousness of this, of Kite and me, that suddenly my entire idea of our relationship had changed. It wasn't like we were a couple of kids playing around anymore. I loved him, in a way that scared even me, the girl who for years now has strived for love. It was too intense, too much, too soon. I almost wanted it to all dissolve away an for everything to go back to two years ago when I'd never met Kite and I'd never known about acrobatics or The Flying Fruit Fly Circus or the helicopter or Oscar or even The Acrobrats. But, luckily, all of that timidness and shyness went away the moment Kite pulled himself up to sit next to me on the mats and hugged me so close that I could hear his heart beating against my ear on his chest. He shushed me again, like Mum used to when I got upset about Barnaby or Dad, and he kissed my hair and he hugged my as tight as he could, but not so tight that it hurt.

Eventually I pulled away and apologised and wiped my eyes because a few tears had started to leak out of them and told him that I was sorry for freaking out like that. He said he didn't mind but that he wanted to know what was wrong.

'Nothing's wrong,' I insisted, because the first time I'd said that he hadn't believed me. 'I was feeling… baby-rabbitted.' He raised his eyebrows at me questioningly. 'Like a baby rabbit coming out of its burrow for the first time and just seeing the wide, wide world ahead of it. With all the danger and all the non-dangers and all the good and all the bad things that could happen to it if only it could take that last step out of its burrow and onto the plain.'

Then he nodded and said that even though he wasn't sure whether or not he understood, he was willing to stay with me, right here, until the baby-rabitted feeling had gone away or at least dampened down a little.

I thanked him and said that, if he wanted, we could do something (like kiss, only I didn't say that) until the baby-rabbit feeling went away. He smiled at me in my favourite way and hugged me again tightly for a second and then slid off the mat and took both my hands – one in each of his – and kissed my neck again and then pulled me down off the mats too. For a second I wasn't exactly sure what we were doing because I'd sort of thought he'd want to kiss too if I'd given him the opportunity which I clearly had. But apparently he didn't want to kiss because he picked me up and set me up for some of the harder balances that we'd been learning when he left ages ago to go to Albury.

'I thought you were nervous about doing balances here?' I asked, in one of the small gaps of time when we weren't setting up for a balance or performing one.

'Not exactly,' Kite said, and I could see he was blushing a bit.

I stopped preparing for my cartwheel and looked at him, my head coked to the side like Marnie used to do. 'What were you nervous about then?' I asked, curious.

He blushed more and looked down. But I wasn't going to give up that easily, 'What?' I pushed.

'I was nervous about doing the balances with you. I thought it might be different now because we're… you know…' his voice faded out and then broke off and he shot me an awkward look.

I smiled, and then it turned into a grin and before he knew what I was doing I did my cartwheel and ended up in his arms. And he right. It was different. Before, it used to not mean anything when he put his hands on my waist or shoulder when we were doing a balance, because it was just that: a balance. But now… all of a sudden it felt so much more… intimate. We were standing closer to each other than it felt like we'd ever been before, and maybe if we'd ever stopped at this point of the balance earlier we'd have felt the same thing then.

I don't think we would've though, I don't think we would've felt this like we did now, and even if we had we wouldn't have kissed like we did now.

And I was right too, about it being serious. Because now it was very different way that Kite was touching my waist, and it was for a very different reason that my hands were on his shoulders or his chest. And maybe it did feel weird, because we'd gone from what was once a normal, totally un-intimate balance to the closest thing yet to making out. Maybe we would never be able to do that balance again without feeling awkward or laughing or making out (okay, so the last one's unlikely, especially because we'd probably be performing the balance in front of other people, but still, a girl can dream). But it didn't really matter right now. Acrobats and double balances weren't really the thing going through my mind.

I didn't think they were going through kite's mind either, or if they were, he hid it well.

Mum was angry with me when I got home, but she didn't want to yell at me in front of Kite so she told him to go and unpack in Granny's room (which we still call Granny's room even though Aunt Squeezy stayed in there much more recently than Granny). Once he was gone she got angry with me and asked why I was home so late and if I knew that I'd been gone for three hours and that Caramella had gotten home an hour ago because Mum had called her house to ask where I was. And I really did feel bad for making Mum angry, and I felt even worse because of course Caramella would know that I'd stayed in the back room for that long with just Kite which was a sort of embarrassing thing for your best friend to know, but even though I felt bad I had to bite my lip to stop myself smiling because part-way through Mum's lecture about being responsible and calling if I was going to be late Kite arrived back at the kitchen door and made a face when he heard what Mum was talking about even though I knew he was just joking because he's definitely a lot more responsible than me and if we ever did have kids (except that I never want to be pregnant because of the morning sickness and everything but it might be okay if it was with Kite because he'd be really nice to me about it) he'd probably be the one lecturing them about being responsible and not staying out late with their boyfriends and everything that Mum was saying. But once Mum had finished I apologised and said I'd try not to let it happen again but she knows how bad I am with being responsible and punctual and everything lie that so couldn't she give me a little bit of margin for error. Then I slipped out of the kitchen and went into the lounge room where Kite was waiting for me watching TV on the couch and I sat down next to him and he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him so I ended up being curled up next to him with my head on his shoulder and my eyes closed because I wasn't really interested in what was on TV, I only really cared about the fact that I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend, who was Kite (who I'd been in love with for quite a long time) and who loved me and who was serious about us and who knew that double balances had a whole new meaning now and who was happy to put up with me during and after the baby-rabbitted feeling. And who, even though he lived in Albury and worked in a circus with Lola the hoop-girl and Frankie who could fly, had chosen to come to this little place in Melbourne called Brunswick, and to be here, sitting on a dirty couch watching pointless TV, and, most importantly, to be with me – his girlfriend – Cedar B. Hartley. It was hard to imagine that I'd ever wanted to be anywhere, or anyone, else.

I know that was really long but it's the kind of writing that you can ust go on for ages and ages with, besudes, i didn't quite know when to end it. Please review (that's if anyone reads this which i rather doubt, no offence) or at least have a look for the books which this is based off, I promise that they're worth reading.

I plan to write a HSM oneshot (I know, it seems weird to start down that path again, but that's kind of all I have in mind right now).