Hi everyone! This is my first fic! I hope you enjoy it! It's a translation from my spanish fic with the same title (¿Qué deseas?), so sorry if my grammar it's not good. I want to say thanks to Becca who corrected my grammar mistakes so well! Thank you again! The story will have 2 chapters. Sorry if you are expecting more, but I have more ideas for another fic, so if you like my fic please comment because it motivates me!
Well I hope you like it. Reviews are mooooore than welcome! :)
The music from the drums and horns could be heard all over the village, joined with the chants and the laughs of joy. The moon was shinning in all its glory accompaning them with their celebration. The smell of firewood from the bonefire bathed the atmosphere and it made it completely warm. Grounders and sky people were celebrating together, blended, teaching one another. Three nights ago their attack on Mount Weather had been a success and all the prisoners had been realesed. The two previous days were dedicated to honor and bury those who had fallen in battle, grounders and sky people as equals, but tonight, was a celebration night, celebrate the victory and the fact of being alive. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, except for the two leaders. Lexa was sitting by a campfire, with a serious and vigilant look, watching the happiness of the rest. Now and then she occasionally sipped her metal cup which had some kind of alcoholic beverage and exchanged a few words with Indra, sitting next to her.
Clarke was sitting at the other end of the campfire, watching her friends drinking, dancing and laughing, finally free. She thought that having her friends back would be enough, with that she would have her happiness back, but deep down she still had that feeling of emptyness, something lost that made her feel incomplete. The memory of Lexa's lips joining hers spung to her mind. They were much more softer than she expected, like the kiss that Lexa had given her. It was soft, warm and comforting but also passionate. Initially, Clarke had been carried away by the moment, but when she realized what she was doing she panicked and rejected Lexa saying "I'm not ready, not yet". How could she be ready if she still felt that emptiness inside? Was that emptiness caused by the absence of Finn? Clarke sighed, the memories about Finn and the kiss she shared with Lexa were tormenting her, her mind was blurry and couldn't see with clarity.
The one thing that she had noticed since the kiss, Lexa had been avoiding her and that was hurting Clarke as well. She cared about the Commander, no, not only the Commander, also Lexa, the girl with green eyes, eyes that only sporadicaly and for a second showed that she also felt, that she also suffered. Clarke noticed that on more than one ocassion and three days ago she reproached it to her, just right before the warrior trusted her showing her vulnerability by showing her real feelings. Since then, the only thing that Clarke had seen in those eyes was coldness and control. When she focused her gaze to where Lexa was, Clarke saw that she wasn't in her spot. She looked for her and saw her entering her tent. Without knowing why, Clarke went in after her.
The tents didn't have doors, so Clarke entered in abruptly. She just stood when she saw Lexa lying in her bed, eyes closed, rubbing her temple as a sigh escaped from her lips. When the warrior heard noises in the entrance, she straightened up right away and grabbed the knife that was keeped under her peels as a protection. When she saw that it was Clarke her hand relaxed, but her gaze remained like ice. Clarke insides twisted for it.
"Entering the Commander's tent without having been summoned...? Have you learnt nothing about our rules yet?" her words were like poison.
"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to upset you" Clarke finally reacted raising her hands.
"What do you wish, Clarke of the sky people? She asked with the same voice.
"I..." the words seemed to be stuck in her mouth. That's right Clarke, what are you doing here? why did you follow her? The words echoed in her mind. She watched the green ruthless eyes that were looking at her for several moments. That ruthness tranformed her sadness into anger. Nobody had the right to look at her like that, not to her, leader and warrior of the sky people. Her gaze became harsh. "You've been avoiding me for three days. You can't ignore the leader of the people which you have an alliance with" she finally said fiercely.
Lexa's gaze softened for a few moments, but then it returned.
"I haven't been avoiding you... there were a lot of preparations to deal with after war... besides" she rose from her bed and started to walk towards Clarke, slowly. She stopped when she was a few steps away from the blonde. "I am the Commander , the union between the twelve clans, I can do whatever I want" her eyes sparkled after that sentence.
Clarke could watch the fire in her eyes, a fire that she had not seen in days, at least three days. She decided to keep teasing her.
"You maybe the Commander but I'm the leader of the Sky people. I deserve respect" she gave a step towards Lexa too "You can't treat another leader like that to, you can't treat me like that" she added with pride.
Lexa almost smiled for the boldness of the sky princess. She stared at her for several long minutes, studying her features, her proud look. They were so alike, too much alike. After few moments, she remembered Clarke's rejection after she opened up her heart to her. She tried to calm down and sighed.
"Get out" she finally said.
"What?" The blonde couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I said get out" she repeated pronouncing the words with fury.
"No" shouted Clarke.
"Get out! Now! Shouted the Commander pointing to the exit with her finger.
" No! You have to give me an answer" she got even closer to Lexa, only a few inches from her, looking at her with resolution and conviction.
"I've already given you an answer" she turned around to put some space between them.
"I don't believe you" the sky girl grabbed Lexa's wrist to stop her.
In that exact moment something broke inside Lexa. All her strength, all her ruthlessness, all her indifference, they all fell apart again. Why? Why her? Why did she get to knock down the walls that I built? Her expression changed to sadness, almost with tears on the edge of her eyes. No, I won't allow it. She gently moved her wrist away from Clarke's hand. Clarke studied the expression on Lexa's face, her eyes. All together were a combination of feelings. She could see the sadness, the fear, the tiredness, and above all the vulnerability. She couldn't help it, she grabbed Lexa again embracing her in a tight hug, surrounding her waist. At first, the Commander tried to release herself from the body that was surrounding her, but noticing that Clarke wasn't going to let her go, she stopped fighting, sank her head in Clarke's neck and finally started to cry. Lexa's body shivered by the sobbing, stuck to Clarke's body. She could feel the warm blonde, her hands caressing Lexa's back, the words of comfort that Clarke was saying.
"Ssshhh... it's ok Commander... it's ok Lexa, you're safe here, you can trust me.
Hearing those words, her name, brought Lexa back to earth and she finally could put a little distance between their bodies. She breathed deeply to calm herself down and took the courage to look into those blue eyes that were staring at her after the sign of weakness that she had just shown. She had sworn to herself that after Costia she would never do it again, but she had failed. She cursed the sky girl for it.
"What do you want, Clarke of the sky people?" finally giving up Lexa asked with a defeated voice.
"You" Clarke caught herself by sorprise.
In that same instance Clarke realized that it was the truth, she wanted her, wanted to comafort her, dry her tears, but she also wanted to kiss her, hug her, touch her entire body. Lexa's eyes showed surprise and she froze starring at the woman that was in front of her.
"I want you, Lexa" the smaller girl said again as she approached the body that she now craved.
She put her hands on the Commander's cheeks and reduced the space that was still between them. Clarke gently placed her lips on Lexa's, very slow. First, there was no response, but after a few moments she felt the brunette's lips responding to hers.
At first Lexa couldn't believe what she just heard, not even after Clarke repeated it again. Her mind even tried to fight for a few moments when she felt Clarke's lips on hers. Love is weakness, she repeated herself, but she didn't have enough strengh to fight something like this, for to know if she was doing the right thing or the wrong thing. A bolt struke all her body and she knew that no matter what, she had lost her fight against the sky girl.
When Clarke noticed that the brunette was finally responding, she grabbed her neck to bring her closer and make the kiss deeper. She felt Lexa's hands resting on her waist and then on her back, seizeing her, holding onto her. The hit from the kiss increased in seconds, Clarke's tongue caressing Lexa's lower lip and right after that the two tongues collided. The commander groaned, which raised the fire even more that was burning inside Clarke and she drove her to the bed. They both stumbled over the bed with Lexa on top of Clarke. They keep kissing, untieing all the passion that they had been contained until that moment. They touched and caressed every inch of each other that they could. For a brief moment, the commander broke the kiss, getting back a little of sense.
"Clarke, are you sure that..." she was cut off by the blonde's lips.
"Do you want me?" Clarke asked her when she broke the kiss this time.
"You know I do"a solemnly statement. There was no point of denying it as they were in this situation.
"Well then... please, let me have you... let us have this moment..." the plea in Clarke's eyes, but also passion.
The commander, the warrior, the ruthless, the scheming, the rational, all her parts yielded completaly to Clarke's plea. There was left only the woman, the one who suffered, but at the same time the one who wanted and longed, the one who followed her feeling and not her sense. Once more, Lexa saw herself lost in Clarke's lips and body, responding her plea. The brunette started to undress her slowly, first the tattered broken black shirt that Clarke was wearing, while kissing and caressing softly with the tip of her fingers every bit of skin that she was uncovering. She kissed and bit her neck, thus causing soft moans to come out from Clarke's lips, driving Lexa more and more crazy. Meanwhile, the blonde had gotten one hand under the commander's clothing, caressing with hunger and passion Lexa's back while her other hand was clinging to the commander's neck. Finally, Clarke decided to take Lexa's shirt off, caressing and watching every inch, every scar from the warrior's uncovered skin. So young, and so many battles and war lived, so much cruelty. She couldn't help herself to watch the woman infront of her with admiration for several moments. Then she kissed her again, with more passion than before. They both kissed and touched each other, delighting, lips, necks, collar bones, breasts, there was no inch without being explored until Lexa went down for Clarke's pants. Her breathing became laboured as the brunette was pulling down her pants while touching her. It became even more laboured when she felt Lexa's slight fingers caressing her inner thigh, delivering promises about what was coming. A moan scaped from her mouth when she felt Lexa, without pants now, placing her crotch on top of hers, feeling her heat, her wetness. Then Lexa captured her lips again in a passionate kiss. Both were drunk by the passion that was consuming them, their bodies boiled, burned and vibrated ,one under the other. They touched, tasted and possessed each other until exhaustion.
The sunlight was filtering between the tent's seams and now and then the birds were singing melodically. Clarke opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by Lexa's warm and powerfull arms. The memory about last night struke her mind and she could't help but smile. She touched the brunette's arm slowly, amazed again by the softness of Lexa's skin. She closed her eyes again and squeezed herself closer to the commander, a smile still on her mouth. Right there she realized; she felt whole, happy. The emptiness that she was feelingt until last night, that scared her so much and filled her head with doubts was gone. She had had emptiness inside yes, but now she realized that it was the emptiness of not being with the person that completed her, Lexa. Without even noticing, she fell asleep again thanks to the other woman's warmth and softness that was laying next to her.
After a while, Lexa woke up noticing a slight body between her arms, blonde waves invaded her vision. She couldn't help but smell Clarke's air. It smelled like forest and grass. Just for one second, she smiles, squeezing gently Clarke's body close to hers, remembering. Then, quoted Clarke's sentences. I want you. Do you want me? Let us have this moment. Clarke was talking about desire, about the moment, she wasn't talking about love or about the future. Pain and disappointment filled the commander's body. She had been weak again, she had been carried away by her feelings, and once again what she felt was pain. She moved away stealthily from the blonde, she didn't want to awaken her, she couldn't confront her right now. She reached for her clothes and began to dress, with only one thought in her mind: love is weakness, weakness is defeat. Nobody, never again, will get to defeat me.