It was a dull, rainy day in Golden Sun World, as usual. Our "hero", Isaac stroked his neckbeard, as he looked out of the window, staring upon the desolate, abandoned vistas which stretched out before him.

"Wow, I can't believe it's been almost 9 years, since my last adventure", he thought to himself. "Was it really so bad that Nintendo left us to die here? Well, I better go collect the food stamps."

As he went outside to get in his broken down, thirty five year old Robin Reliant, a very black man with a gun for an arm stood in his way. It was Barret from Final Fantasy!

"Yo, whiteboy, is 'dis f#!&n pile of s &! actually da' car you ridin' round in?"

"Y-Yes it is", Isaac replied meekly.

Not being in a game for almost nine years had dulled his instincts, and he wasn't confident he could take Barret, should it come to a fight.

"Hahaha, 'das f ~^ng sad, my n&%$!" Barret laughed. "Yo, let me show you all da' cash me and the boys made from releasing Final Fantasy 7 again on yo' gay ass Nintendo Switch!"

Barret got into a Lamborghini, and sped past Isaac's shitty Robin Reliant, driving straight through a muddly puddle, which soaked the Venus Adept. The sheer speed of the Lambo caused the wing-mirror of Isaac's car to drop off.

Sighing, Isaac got in the Robin, and began driving down towards the job centre at its top speed, 35 mph, to pick up his food stamps. "This is only temporary", he told himself. "Once I get my golden ticket to Smash, they'll announce Golden Sun 4, and I'll be back to living the good life again. Quadruple digit sales, baby!"

Halfway to the job centre, Isaac had to stop, as a fight was breaking out in the middle of the road. Bayonetta and Joker were beating up Geno and Bandana Dee, and all the traffic had stopped, as a result.

"We don't take kindly to Spirits around here!" Joker laughed, as he punched Geno to the floor.

"Hahaha, you look like the boys I used to reject back in high school" Bayonetta joined in, grinding her heel into the bootleg Mega Man's face.

Realising what was going on, Isaac began slowly reversing away, knowing what his fate would be, if the bullies spotted him.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Assist Trophy!" jeered a voice from behind him. It was Incineroar!

Incineroar dragged Isaac out of his car, and threw him across the street towards the other two losers, and closed in to surround them. Geno and Bandana Dee had already given up, but Isaac was determined to fight his way out of the situation.

"Come on guys, if we work together, we might stand a chance against them!" he insisted. "Dee, if you take that shitty bandana off, you could actually pass as an iconic character. There's a hero deep inside you!"

"Oh damn, you're right!" Dee realised, taking off his bandana.

"Yo, lookin' good, Dee!" Incineroar smiled. "You wanna join our side now, and beat up these two dorks?"

"Haha, yeah, sure!" Waddle Dee laughed, setting his shitty bandana on fire, so he'd never be mistaken for that autism magnet again.

"Well, fuck..." Isaac sighed. "Geno, looks like it's just you and me... You got any plans?"

"If I remember rightly, your game is just a complete rip-off of Final Fantasy 5, isn't it?" Geno asked.

"Yeah, that's right", nodded Isaac.

"Alright then, maybe you have some kind of teleport spell you could use to get us out of here?"

"Good idea!"

Quickly thinking, Isaac used a teleport spell to warp him and Geno back to his house. However, what he would return to would scar him deeply, and change his life forever, going forwards...